I sat on my bed, debating on what I should do.
I'd lied about my hair, the color coudn't be washed out. The only solution was dying it back to my normal hair color but to do that I'd have to wait for Margarette to go to the drug store. I coudn't walk down like this either, Mrs. Gothel would know I'd lied and the slim chance I had to go to the festival would disappear into nothingness faster than I could say 'crap'.
Glancing at the clock I sighed, if I stayed gone for too long they would come looking for me. Pascal whimpered beside me, silently asking me to pet him. Maybe I should just tell Mrs. Gothel the truth, I thought to myself as I recognised something behind Pascal. My hat, of course! Smiling victouriously I grabbed it, pushing my hair underneath as I put it on.
Though it was three floors down from here I could still hear Mrs. Gothel screaming at the staff asking how this could happen under their supervision, I was scared for them. Mrs. Gothel was even more frightening when she was angry.
When Mrs. Gothel turned angry you saw the clear resemblance between her and a dragon, glowing eyes, flaring nose and wild hair she had it all.
She started treathening about firing people and that was all I needed to push my hat down, turning my hair in it making sure nothing was sticking out and hurrying downstairs to put an end to the fight.
Both Mrs. Gothel and Margarette turned to me with terrified looks on their faces as if I'd caught them while picking the last cookie in the bowl. Margarette composed herself first and spoke repeatedly shooting glances at her boss. "Mrs. Radley could you please come with me I'm afraid I have to wash the clothes you're wearing right now."
Mrs. Gothel gave me an annoyed look when I didn't answer immeadiately and I nodded, uncertain of what I'd just whitnessed. Margarette left for the washing room and another look from Mrs. Gothel made me hurry after her, feeling shivers trespass my body.
The moment the door of the washing room was closed and I was sure no one could hear us I let the questions roll of my tongue like marbles. "What happened in there Margarette, did she fire you?"
Margarette's soft laugh echoed throughout the room. "If she had done that Miss, I woudn't be here anymore."
My eyebrows scrunched up in cofusion as I pulled off my sweater handing it to Margarette.
"Then what happened?" A breeze passed by and I folded my arms across my chest suddenly feeling very naked without the protection of my sweater.
Margarette shrugged, attempting at stuffing a pile of clothes in the washing machine. "Now why don't you go change? Your sisters will be here in an hour or so."
I gave her a suspicous look silently telling her I didn't buy her distraction but retracted to my room when the sweet smile on her smile didn't falter. I sighed, she wasn't going to spill anythin about it.
The doors of my closet creeked when I pulled at them, my warderobe wasn't anything impressive. Sweaters, t-shirts, jeans and one or two dresses were pushed in it unfolded and unordered.
A piece of white fabric stood out from the pile in front of me and I pulled out my only summer dress. Mrs. Gothel would be pretty irritated if I didn't dress 'appropiate' for the arrival of my step sisters.
Anastasia and Drizella Tremaine, daughters of the legandary Mrs. Elisa Gothel weren't quite as bad as their mother but bad none the less. Anastasia was a little more manageable than Drizella, she was also the one who I was closer with I could handle her picking the prettiest barbie as long as I could play along. Drizella, she was a totally different story, the spitting image of her mother though you wouldn't say that when you saw her. She was a beautiful young girl with a honest smile, only when she was mad you'd see her true self and that was not something to look forward to.
And as if I had stood in front of a mirror and repeated their names three times suddenly the front door opened and the voices of my step sisters filled the house. "We're home!" Anastasia called out, enthousiasm clear in her voice.
I went downstairs, greeting the sight of my step mom and sisters kissing each other on the cheek managing to keep their lipgloss in touch.
"Radley!" Anastasia called out when she spotted me. I smiled somehow hesitantly, Drizella stood behind Anastasia glaring openly at me.
While I was still focused on Drizella, Anastasia came at me hugging me and squeezing with all the power she had in her skinny arms.
There I stood, being suffocated by the smell off Anastasia's overwelming parfume and under the cold glare of Drizella when Margarette walked in. Both Drizella and Anastasia jumped up to greet the maid, Margarette was our governess until they moved out and to us she was like family even Drizella couldn't help but smile every time she walked in.
Margarette welcomed the girls in one of her all too famous bear hugs and each gave them a once over. "You've grown so well, I bet the boys are lined up to get a glance at you."
Once she saw I was still dressed in my sweatpants and top she sent the girls downstairs, slightly pushing them out the room and telling me to hurry for diner. As I changed my eyes landed on the drawing I'd made earlier and sudden visions of the same people in the same world lined up in my head playing like an animated cartoon without consistency.
Mrs. Gothels calls for me made me fasten my pace when walking down the stairs while unhandily trying to zip the zipper on the back of my dress.
They were all sat at the table waiting for me, plates with food on it scattered over the surface. The moment I walked in everyone went silent to look at me, different emotions filled their faces.
Drizella who looked at me with a look that indicated she most likely wanted to crush me under the heels of her laboutins, cleared her throat and managed to get everyones attention.
I rolled my eyes before sitting down, every time the twins came home they would brag about all the things they'd archieved trying to get Mrs. Gothels approval. Drizella was always the one to start it and Anastasia caved every time, mostly losing and not finding enough arguments as to why she was the most succesful. Even if Anastasia had a fiancé, a well-running company and heaps of money, she wasn't like her sister nor was she like her mother. She was stuck between the category that consisted of the rich and quite scary business women and the one I was stuck in.
Whenever she did something that was seen as a good thing by most of the people she was frowned upon by her mother.
Drizella opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by her sister who's face was a mix between guilt and pride.
"I'm pregnant." Anastasia anounced with a very calm voice for such a dramatic exclamation. The room fell silent, even people of the staff were now openly staring at Anastasia as if she had lost her mind.
I looked around, trying to make some sence out of what was happening, should I be happy for her because the atmosphere in the room sure wasn't anything happy related.
"No." One word, one word full of venom and anger it even killed the shils running up your spine .
Mrs. Gothel held an almost impassive faice as if she didn't care but her eyes held the strongest emotion I had ever seen. They were cold, the cold that burned you and could kill you. The cold that held no life in it.
Anastasia bravely stared back at her mother, fear evident in her features but too stubborn to back away. It seemed like in the other part of the room time stood still, everyone paralized by that one word. We were all just waiting for something to happen but to everyones suprise Mrs. Gothel turned to her plate, picked a tomatoe from her plate and continued eating as if nothing had happened.
The following silence only got interrupted by the enduring concert of our cutlery clattering against the plates and the rinkling of glasses against metal. You could evidently feel the tension like a cord wrapping itself around you and holding you captive.
Nobody seemed to know what to do so we held ourselves busy with our own business trying not to piss Mrs. Gothel off any further.
"Radley, how are you doing? Your birthday is coming up soon isn't it?." Drizella asked casting a cautious glance at her mother.
I stiffened, my muscles wouldn't co-operate anymore and my brain wasn't at a better state.
"It's today, actually." I said trying to think of something to say though it seemed like Mrs. Gothel wasn't paying attention to us.
"I was thinking about going to the festival this year for my birthday." Although my voice was barely above a whisper, everyone their heads turned around after I said it all staring down at me with judgemental or just plain scared faces.
Anastasia piped in, trying to lighten up the lead-like mood. "Oh, me and Drizella are going, maybe you can come with us. If mother lets you come, I mean." All of our gazes lifted upon Mrs. Gothel, she returned our looks with a growl, an actual growl.
"Enough! What is it that made you girls go rogue? I raised you myself and you are all turning on me. Anastasia, I told you to stay away from men and now you are supposedly with child? Do you want me to disown you. Radley, after I so generously took you in after the tragedy of your parents' death you repay me by leaving me just the day you become eighteen? Am I such a bad mother that you do this, do you feel such a loathing towards me that you feel the need to give me such trouble." Mrs. Gothel stood up, flailing her hands in a distressed manner.
"Do what you want, go where you want but don't come back crying for help when life comes to bite you because I have warned you. I've always told you this and I will tell you this again. Mother knows best." With a last huff she pushed her chair back and left the room, the silence ridiculously quiet after the loud yelling of Mrs. Gothel.
Dinner after Mrs. Gothel's departure was tense. We all finished our plates in silence while the kitchen staff was running around us in a haste, hushed remarks about us lying on their tongues. I poked at my lasts pieces of asparagus, not knowing how to break the silence. The wool of the hat itched my scalp. It made it hard to focus. Finally, I pushed my chair back and excused myself, to which my step-sisters nodded solemnly. I picked up my plate and cutlery and put it in the dishwasher. Once in my room, I relieved myself of the itchy hat and lay down on my bed, feeling the soft cotton dip beneath my weight.
Mrs. Gothel had never said a bad word about one of her daughters, that she would be so mad about Anastasia's pregnancy was out of character for her. Certainly since she approved of her fiancé. I propped myself up on my elbows until I sat upright. The drawing I'd drawn earlier today still lay on the bed. Upon further inspection I noticed that although a lot of people in my drawing, I recognised but even a larger amount of the people present on the paper were unknown to me. Scrunching up my eyebrows, I pondered. For me to have drawn them, must mean I'd seen them somewhere but I couldn't recollect when or where. My mind was spinning in confusion so I looked up in an attempt to clear my mind but was startled when I saw Margarette in my doorway. She was staring at me in deep ponder, it seemed. Her eyes caught mine and she smiled softly, pulled out of her trance.
"Why don't you come with me, accompany me while I do the laundry?" She asked, cocking her head in question. I smiled back at her, gazing at her carefully curled, pepper grey hair as it bounced with her head. I ignored her protests as I pried the basket from her hands to carry it up the stairs myself.
So we ended up hanging out upstairs, me listening to Margarette telling stories about her childhood while folding the laundry and putting it away in its belonged place. My hands itched to help her out but every time I even so much as looked at the basket, Margarette would tell me off, saying it was my day off and I had to live up to it. It was quite the revelation to hear about Margarette's past, she was usually very closed about her personal life, well, outside of this house. Every Sunday all of the staff members had their day off to stay home so I had gathered so much that most of them had a home to go to but no one ever really talked about it that openly. As I thought about it, I realised I knew close to nothing personal about my friends here.
"Xander and I grew closer over the years and by the time of my 17th birthday he confessed his love for me, a love I returned just as greatly. He was a fine man, someone who I could share my life with and feel happy while doing so. Unfortunately, my parents and friends did not approve of him due to his low social class, after all he was an imp." Margarette cleared her throat loudly, looking at me with a concerned expression etched on her face. "A rascal as they say." She said in a hasty voice. I rolled over on my bed, eyeing the maid up. Something had changed her mood entirely, she went from a nice summer breeze to a hail storm in only fragments of seconds and I couldn't determine what it was that had changed her mood so drastically.
"Have you seen him since?" I asked cautiously, almost scared to tick her off. Margarette never got angry at me but she kept oddly still and it alarmed me.
She shook her head as if to shake the sadness away and looked at me. "No. We drifted apart. I went one way whereas he the other. It's like we lived in different worlds"
I nodded, sad for her lost love. "I'm sorry, Margarette."
"It's nothing to worry about, princess. That was years ago." Soon, Margarette finished off the entire basket full of laundry and the tears had disappeared from her eyes. She clasped her hands around my shoulders and pulled me in a warm hug. "I'll make sure you won't have to endure such heartbreak, princess." She whispered next to my ear. Margarette gave me one last squeeze and sashayed up the stairs, laundry basket propped up against her hip.
I followed her up and went to my room. Pascal's ever presence was a comfort to me now. Margarette's story was sad, the way she'd spoken about Xander indicated that she had really loved him. But they were separated. I don't think Mrs. Gothel has ever been in love. She was married to Anastasia and Drizella's father but they barely spared each other a glance. They divorced about a year after she adopted me, her daughters were devastated. Suddenly a dark mood swung over me. Back then, she'd cared for the girls. Mrs. Gothel had done everything in her power to conjure smiles on their faces. Never had she done something for me, she refused to let me call her 'mom' or even Eliza. A charity case is all I've ever been to her. And she thought she had the right to order me around? She had no hold over me. Then and there I decided something; I would go to the festival, whether or not Mrs. Gothel liked it.
And I would leave tonight.
-XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO-
Okay, so I'm back!
I had this major writersblock where I knew the direction I was going but wasn't really certain of the details and how to fill in blank spots. I think I've covered everything now so I'm back to writing.
I'm going to try and dedicate myself to this story but the uploads won't be regular.
I really hope you like it.
Love and hugs,
Aurélie :)