LOUIS’ POV
“Nope, not leaving.” I say, crossing my arms tightly against my chest. I lean back in the passenger’s seat of Harry’s big, black car and stare at him. “I don’t want to leave, so I’m not.” I state my position. “You can’t make me do anything.”
Harry sighs. “Babe, you’re making this so much harder than it needs to be. Just, go get on the plane, please. It’s leaving in twenty minutes.”
I scowl at him. “Why are you so eager to get rid of me?” And why I’m so emotional, well, that I don’t know. I feel like a teenage white girl on her period, but, I can’t help it. I sigh and sit further into the seat. “That’s just twenty more minutes that I can spend with you, Harry. I don’t want to leave you for a month. What if you meet another guy at one of your matches, like you met me? What if he’s taller and cuter than I am? What if you like him more than you like me?”
“Woah, Louis, slow down. Nothing of the sort will happen, I promise. We already talked about this, I think. I could never like anyone more than I like you. You’re, like, the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I’m infatuated with you. You know that, don’t you?” He rubs his soft fingers along my chin, turning my face so he could look me in the eyes. “You need to get on that plane for me, baby. We can Skype as soon as you get home, if you want. But you need to go, okay? Do it for me. Remember, in a month, you won’t have to ever worry about leaving me again.” He winks. I nod. “C’mon, I’ll help you get your stuff out of the back.”
Harry grabs my suitcase from the trunk, and I grab my little travel case that holds my keys, a mini comb, lotion [boys use it too, you know] and a small toothbrush with toothpaste. “I’ll miss you,” I sigh, standing on my toes, reaching my arms around his neck, and kissing his lips softly. Harry’s arms wrap around my waist.
He mumbles into the kiss, “I’ll miss you too,” and that’s when I feel a hot drop of salty water his my cheek, and look up to see Harry crying. He wipes his tears frantically and smiles. “It’s only a month,” he says. “We can do it, babe.”
“I love you,” I say, undoing myself from his hold. I grip my suitcase in my free hand, and smile at Harry, who wipes away his tears again. He tells me he loves me more, and I just laugh and shake my head, wandering off into the airport. I board my flight, and close my eyes, hoping that my recent crying would put me to sleep, quickly.
[Harry has an important meeting with his manager right after he drops me off at the airport, so him and Niall aren't able to board the same flight as me.]
// “All I got to do was drive you home, lad?” Zayn asks, laughing. I know he’s upset though. “Can’t believe you’ve been gone ten weeks, and all I get to do is drive you home from the London airport.” He laughs again.
“I’ll call you tonight, mate. Maybe you could sleep over, and we could catch up? I just have to get settled first. You know how my parents are. Or, just how my mum is.” I laugh back.
Zayn smiles. “Yeah, sounds good. I told your mom ‘bout you and Harry shagging, by the way. She was questioning me about it, but since you didn’t give me the details, I had no answers for her. So, just a heads up, she’ll bombard you about that.”
“Christ, Zayn.” I sigh, laughing. “Okay, I’ll see you later. I’ll call you around, like, eight, alright?” and Zayn nods, so I grab my suitcase and travel bag from the backseat. “See ya’!” I wave as he pulls away. I look around the neighborhood; it hasn’t changed much. I unlock the front door to my house, and my mom comes running to the door. “Mum,” I choke as she hugs me tightly. “Mum, can’t breathe.”
“Louis! I haven’t seen you in so long, oh my lord! Your father and the girls are at the movies. He promised to take them to see that Disney movie, Frozen. But, Louis! How are you, dear?”
My mom fixes us both a cup of tea, and we sit on the couch. I sit criss-cross applesauce on the brown cushion, taking in the comfortableness of a home couch, because hotel couches are not the best after you sit on them for ten weeks straight. “I’m doing well, yeah.” I smile, holding the mug in both of my small hands. I bring it to my lips and take a sip. “Mm, always good, mum.” I softly moan in pleasure.
“Okay!” My mom squeals, hitting her thighs with her hands. “I can’t hold it in any longer; tell me all about your first time!”
“Mum!” I blush completely red; like a tomato, I imagine.
“C’mon Louis! I’m your mother, I deserve to know!” She pleads. “I’ll spare the details from your father, I promise.”
I sigh, but end up smirking. “It was good.”
“Just, good?” She raises her eyebrow.
“Uggghhh!” I exclaim. I let out all of the details to my mum. “It was amazing, mum. The whole time he was like, ‘am I hurting you’ and he was so sweet, and it was perfect. He went nice and slow, but by the end he picked up the pace, and -- oh, mum it was just. You know, it was just great.” And people would probably think this is absolutely, totally weird. My mum though, really is my best friend. We have a close knitted relationship, that’s really strong, and I tell her everything. I really do.
“Louis, I’m so happy for you!” She smiles, hugging me tightly. “He is coming over for dinner soon, right? I can’t wait to meet him.”
I bite my lip. “Oh, mum. I have something I want to talk to both you, and dad about…” I tell her nervously. “It’s important, you know? But, maybe I could tell you now, and then you could talk to him about it later…?”
“God Louis, you don’t have an STD, do you?” She widens her eyes. I shake my head. “Go on, honey. I’m all ears.”
I stand up, and get in front of her. Fidgeting with my little fingers, and looking down at the floor, I confess, “Harry asked me to -- when he gets back -- to, like, uhm, move in with him… and I told him I would.” I watch my mother’s face fall. “Mum! Just, listen, okay? I know we’ve rushed everything. Love, sex, and now this, but. There’s something about him, you know? I have a good feeling.”
“Is he the one?” My mum asks. I stare at her blankly. She continues. “Louis, if you were to look into the future, do you see him there with you? Do you see him proposing marriage? Do you see him and yourself adopting kids?”
I think about it for a minute. “Yes, mum. I do. But we aren’t talking marriage or kids right now. Harry’s got his career, still. He’s at, like, an all time high with it. We just want to be together, you know? We’re just kids in love, doing crazy things to pass the time.”
“I’ll talk to your father about it, Louis. I just don’t want to give you up, yet.” She sighs. “You’re always gonna be my little Boobear.” She pulls me in for a hug. “Go unpack, now. And do your laundry! I can only imagine that most of your underwear is dirty.”
“Okay, mum.” I laugh and tug my suitcase into my bedroom. I throw all of the clothes from it into the tall hamper in the corner, and put my other stuff away where it belongs. My phone rings its text message tone, so I search around for it in my pockets. miss you already xx it reads. I smile, and reply to Harry with: i miss you!! my mum said she'd talk to my dad later about us living together :) skype me?
In the laundry room, I open my laptop and set it on the counter. As it loads, I grab the large hamper full of clothes, and drag it inside. After typing in my computer password, Harry’s name immediately pops up on the screen. I answer the video call and see him smiling his big, dopey smile. “Louis!” He exclaims.
“Hi, Harry.” I smile back at him. He looks around the screen, and asks where I am. I laugh. “In the laundry room. I don’t think you understand how much clothes I went through.”
“Not a lot in those last few days,” He winks. “You were just too busy showing off for me, right?”
“More like you wouldn’t let me out of our room unless you fucked me first.” I laugh even harder, kind of hoping my mom doesn’t hear me. “Not complaining, though. I like when you fuck me.”
Harry smirks, his eyebrows raising. “Wow, Louis, you’ve got a thing for dirty talk?” And I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment. “I could roll with it. What’s your favorite part? When I stick my c*ck in slowly, and you let out that low moan; or when--”
“Stop!” I squeal, blushing red like a tomato again. “No, I don’t like dirty talk! It makes me feel super weird inside!” I exclaim. “I was just saying, like, I had a good time?”
Harry throws his head back in laughter. “I know, Lou. I had a good time too.” I think he blushes, but I don’t want to say anything. I just want to savor this moment. Harry looks to the left. “Jesus Christ, one minute!” He yells at somebody in the background. He looks back at me and frowns. “My manager. He doesn’t wait around for anything. As soon as you left, he booked me a match for tonight.”
“Aren’t you still broken?” I ask.
“He said, ‘if you’re in good enough shape to have sex with him, then you’re in good enough shape to fight.’” Harry explains. “And sadly, I have two hours training, dinner with my manager, and then my match all in a row, starting in five minutes. I’ll try to text you in between everything, and we can try to Skype later tonight, alright? Love you!” He blows a kiss at me and ends the video call.
// After all of my laundry is done and put away neatly, I throw myself onto my bed. Lottie comes into my room and sits on the edge. “You’re finally home.” She says, half smiling. “Zayn told me you lost the v-card, Lou.” Her smile forms into more of a smirk as she falls next to me on the bed, her arms folded under her head. “Is it scary?” She asks.
“Yeah,” I admit. “But it’s lovely, too.”
“Oh,” she forms her mouth in a circular shape. She sighs. “Mum and dad wanted to see you downstairs whenever you can.” She tells me, leaving my bedroom.
I gallop downstairs and meet my parents in the living room. My dad gives me an angry look before opening his mouth, “this all just some big joke, right Louis? I told you I could live with the fact that you’re gay, but I will not live with you acting upon your disgusting choice! You are not to move in with that boy. You will not have sexual relations with that boy. You’re disgusting, Louis! How could you do such a thing!? You think I’m gonna let you move in with this boy? So that then you’ll get to have him stick his c*ck up your ass every night? You’re revolting! I told you, you are to grow up and marry a woman. You are to have sex with a woman, and you are to have children and a life with a woman.”
Tears threatening my eyes, I scream, “What the fuck, dad!?” And look over at my mum. She’s crying helplessly, but trying to hide it from my father, who I turn my attention back to. “Aren’t you just the stupidest person I know? I’m gay, dad! Did you think that I wasn’t going to kiss boys? That I wasn’t going to sleep with them? Move in with them? Marry them? Dad, let me spell it out for you -- I, a-m, g-a-y. I’m gay, dad.” I wipe the tears from my eyes.
“You can move in with Harry.” He says. My eyes light up for a moment before he says, “because I never want to see you in this house again.”
“Rick!” My mother shouts.
“I will not have him rubbing off on my daughters!” He shouts back at her. “I don’t ever want to see you again, you disgusting faggot.”
He slams the front door behind him, and as we hear the roar of his car’s engine, my mother pulls me in for a hug. “I can’t believe he’s doing this,” she says. “I still love you Louis. I know it’s not a choice. It’ll be okay, alright? You can call or text me whenever you want. And when he’s not here, you can always visit.”
“I.” Is all I can muster. I swallow the lump in my throat, and take a deep breath before continuing. “I have to call Harry, and tell him to come pick m-- shit! he’s fighting tonight. I’ll have to stay the night at Zayn’s.” I sigh.
“I’m terribly sorry, Louis.” My mother says. “I. I don’t how to explain this to the girls.”
“Just tell them the fucking truth! Tell them that their father is douchebag!” I scream.
“Don’t call my dad a douchebag!” Lottie flies down the stairs. “You don’t get the privilege to call him your dad, and then go calling him a douchebag! What the hell crawled up your ass? Did Harry’s d*ck go in too far?”
“Charlotte! That’s enough!” My mother yells. “Your father’s asked Louis to leave the house… forever.” Lottie stares blankly at my mum and I. “He doesn’t like the fact that Louis’ gay, and doesn’t want him ‘to rub off on your girls’ but I know that wouldn’t happen. Your father is a difficult man. He was brought up Catholic, so he believes that Louis is a sinner for being in love with a man.”
“That’s ridiculous.” She says, tears staining her cheeks. She hugs me and says, “I, uh, will tell Fiz, Daisy and Phoebe… if you want me too. I’ll explain it to them and stuff. I. I’m so sorry Lou. I’ll miss you, if that helps.” She murmurs into my chest.
“Lottie, I’ll talk to you about this later. Can you please go tell the girls while I help Louis pack?” My mum sniffles. //After everything is put into three different suitcases my mum’s phone rings. The text message she receives says I won’t be home until ur fag of a son leaves our home.“I.” My mom takes in a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Louis.” She cries. “I’ll try to talk to him about this soon.”
“It’s fine, mum. Just. I don’t want to lose you, too.” I confess. “I love you.”
“I love you too Louis, but you have to go. I don’t want your father to stay out too long. God knows how drunk he’ll get. Did you talk to Zayn?” My mother dusts off my coat. It tickles.
“He’s parked down the street, waiting for me already. I’ll call Harry when I get back to Zayn’s. And I’ll try to talk to you as often as I can.” Sadly, I drag my three suitcases, pillow, and sleeping bag to Zayn’s car, parked on the corner on the street. I throw my stuff in the backseat before climbing into the front. Zayn and I stare each other down for what seems like years, before I break down, my loud sobs echoing in the small vehicle.
“Louis, I.” He starts.
“Don’t. Don’t. I need to call Harry, I can’t wait any longer. Where’s my phone?” I search around my pockets frantically. I pull it out and check that I have three messages from him. missing you x / always remember ily / louis skype me! my fight got cancelled! are the three messages. I dial his number, and hear him answer in his low tone. I sniffle. “Do you think there’s any way I could move in sooner?” I sob.
“You miss me that much, do you?” He laughs, obviously oblivious to my crying.
“Harry,” I squeak. “My dad threw me out.”
“Baby,” he gasps.
“I’m going to Zayn’s, because I had to leave the house immediately. Can you come get me there, please?” Zayn tells me to let Harry know that Liam’s at his house. Because of course he’d like to meet Niall. They’d only been texting the past few days non-stop.
“Of course I’ll come get you, baby! Niall’s with me, obviously. I hope you don’t mind. We’ll be there soon, okay? Text me the address.” Harry says. Before hanging up the phone, he exclaims an enthusiastic, “I love you!”
Zayn starts up his car, and starts driving along the road. I text Harry the home address of Zayn, and wait in Zayn’s living room for him to show up. Zayn’s father, and Liam sit with us. His mother and sisters are spending their Friday night at the mall, of course. Zayn’s father has his arm rested around me. “You know this goes against my religion, too. But unlike your father, I can understand that homosexuality is completely moral.” He reassures me. “I’m terribly sorry for you, son.” And to be honest, I’ve always prefered Zayn’s father over mine.
There’s a knock at the door, and Zayn jumps up to answer it. He turns back and nods, letting me know it’s Harry. He opens the door, letting Harry and Niall in. He says, “Well, Liam and Niall, here’s your chance. You guys go in the kitchen for a while, yeah?” So Liam and Niall smile at each other and waltz into the kitchen, Liam leading Niall into it.
Harry frowns and kneels in front of my seat on the couch. My face is still buried in my hands, which are holding all of my tears. “Loubear,” he says. He knows that nickname makes me laugh, because I hate it so much. “Aw, Louis c’mon. You can get through this. You’re not alone. You have me, and you have Niall! Niall is going through the exact same thing right now, babe. You know that.”
“It feels so unreal.” I sob, falling into his lap. He holds me with his arms wrapped tightly around my ball-formed body. He places a kiss on my wet cheek. “No, don’t kiss me. I’m sweaty, and sticky, and tear-stained, and gross. I feel so dirty.”
“You can take a shower back at our flat.” He suggests. I look at him, my eyes staring into his. He knows why. “It’s our home now. And Niall’s, too, temporarily.” He ends with a light laugh. “Can I take you home, now? After your shower, I’ll make you some tea and we can order Chinese take-out, and we’ll just sit there and you can vent, okay?”
I wipe my tears and nod. “That sounds perfect.” I turn to Zayn’s father and give him a hug. “Thank you for offering to let me stay here, Yaser. It means a lot. And Zayn,” I turn to him. “Thank you, too.” I laugh. “I’m sorry that our whole sleepover/catch-up thing didn’t go as planned.”
“It’s not your fault, Lou.” He laughs, too.
I hop off Harry’s lap and follow him into Zayn’s kitchen to grab Niall. “Holy shit!” I squeal, surprised to see Niall sitting on the counter, with Liam between his legs, while they tangle tongues. I cover my mouth, but whisper to Harry, “oh my god.”
Liam and Niall both turn and blush red. Niall stutters, “uh -- we -- we uh --”
“Shit, mate.” Harry laughs. “We have to go…”
“Oh,” he frowns. He kisses Liam one more time, sweetly. “I’ll call you later, Lee.” He smiles, and leaves with Harry and I.
After loading my stuff into the back seat, beside Niall, Harry asks, “You ready to go, babe?”
I smile and lean back into the familiar cushion of his car. I face him, still smiling. “Yeah, I am.”
a/n:
OKAY, “SAME LOVE” BY MACKLEMORE PLAYED, LIKE, TWICE WHILE I WRITING THE LOUIS/FATHER SCENE. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.
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- kaity!