"I have bad news for you."
"Did Hetty chew up another pair of my shoes?"
"No."
"Did someone die?"
"I'm scared to ask which scenario is worse, according to you- the puppy chewing your shows or someone dying."
"They're both equally bad."
"Equally bad?"
"Death of shoes. Death of human. Both bad."
"It's like you're a psychopath."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"..."
"..."
"Anyway, the reason I called is because I have bad news."
"So you said."
"Finn has chosen a reading."
"Oh, great! What is it?"
"I'll read the first bit."
"Ok. I'm so excited."
"Here it goes- I wanna be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust. I wanna be your Ford Cortina, I will never rust. If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot. You call the shots, I wanna be yours."
"Is there more?"
"Soph, are you even listening? It's terrible."
"I'm reserving judgement until I hear the whole thing. Now, carry on."
"I wanna be your raincoat, for those frequent rainy days. I wanna be your dreamboat, when you want to sail away. Let me be your teddy bear, take me with you anywhere. I don't care, I wanna be yours."
"..."
"I wanna be your electric meter, I will not run out. I wanna be the electric heater, you'll get cold without. I wanna be your setting lotion, hold your hair in deep devotion. Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean, that's how deep is my devotion."
"..."
"That's it."
"Haha, I like it."
"You would."
"You don't?"
"No, I don't."
"Well, what would you have preferred?"
"Anything but that one."
"Did Finn choose it?"
"Yes."
"We agreed that he'd be able to choose the reading and if that's what he chose, then you just have to put up with it."
"But-"
"No!"
"What? What happened?"
"You said the word 'but.'"
"Sophie-"
"No. I won't hear it. I like what Finn chose, so we're keeping it."
"..."
"Stop pouting."
"..."
"I'm going to leave you and your thoughts together."
"..."
"You know, I'm ok with the silent treatment."
"..."
"I'll see you later. I won't hear you later because you're being a stubborn arse who refuses to talk because you didn't get your own way, but I will see you later."
"..."
"Bye, Daniel."
"..."
"..."
[Call ended.]