To Zayn,
I realise as I'm writing this that you might never recognise this project. That you might never see the heartfelt words from your fans. That you might never know what our hearts hold. But, I continue typing anyway. It feels good to get it out in the open. To have complete strangers reading your words. People who feel the same way as you, people who understand you, sometimes better than those you have known your entire life.
I'm being absolutely honest here, I really hadn't followed you much after One Direction. This wasn't because I was mad at you, or anyone for that matter. It was because I was mad at the idea that people could leave and not turn back. It was an idea that hadn't entered the pea I call a brain.
In the extract of your book, you wanted to know what inspires us. Well, here is the accurate version of what I wrote. People like you inspire me. You had the courage to change something you didn't like. You had the strength to make your destiny. You made that decision. You decided not to be just a duckling following her mother. You decided to be yourself, to show the world the truly amazing person that is Zayn Malik. You followed your dreams, not someone else's. It is something many, including myself, can only dream of.
Yes, I admit I didn't follow you or your music for quite some time after you left to do your own thing. But I don't need to do that to know that you are truly happy where you are right now. I see sparkle on your face, something that wasn't there when you were in One Direction, I now realise. There's a real smile now, not a plasticky one for the cameras and paparazzi.
Hell, if you want an example of how you inspire me, this letter is one. Starting out I thought, ''This is going to turn out so bad, I don't know anything about Zayn.'' So, I did what I always do, I plugged in my earphones. Pillowtalk blasted through as I had a classic 'light-bulb' moment. I started out with the cover for this book. I knew I wanted something simple, classy but not formal. Something that doesn't burst with colour. And that's exactly what I did. Black and white, a legible font and a good picture. Now to the actual letter, I imagined this in my head as a truly heartfelt writing, as though in a diary. I can only hope that I achieved that.
I'm not the best writer, but I wanted to capture what I'm feeling so that the reader can feel it. Complete with strong wording, my target will be met. Maybe those English lessons weren't so a useless after all.
Another thing I get from you is sketching. Although it had started out as something I did to pass time, seeing your sketches made me view it as so much more. As a way express myself. I am a naturally shy girl, the one who stays quiet in class and doesn't push people to do something she'd like, even if it was a much better idea than what they gave. Instead, I used sketches. At first I only saw pictures and drew them as an exact copy. Sketch after sketch, I grew more confident and started incorporating my imagination instead. I'm not ashamed to say that some of the images I came up with were truly phenomenal. This might sound like I'm blowing my own trumpet, but it really was brilliant. Now, I draw anything from sketches to cartoons to graffiti (on paper). I have to thank you for showing me my talent, my way to speak up and make a difference, be it only a sketch.
I guess this is when the line 'the past shapes the future' kicks in. Remember that fortune cookie you got on the X Factor Chinese night? The one that said 'If you do not change the direction in which you are going, you will end up where you are headed.' At that time, we found it pretty ironic, now, not so much. But you realised that you were on the wrong direction before you ended up at the wrong place. There are millions over the world who weren't as lucky. I can only hope I won't be one of them.
This letter has been really long, I do apologise. However, I hope that it has given you an insight on how we as fans feel and how much your actions influence ours. This chapter is dedicated to you, zayn. I wish you all the best for the future, whatever it may hold and let me just say, this is NOT the end.
Much love and hugs,
Prongs3012 xxx