The next morning, I slide into the passenger seat of Maizie's car and give her a smile. She is back to her quirky behaviour in order to keep Mason in the dark. We don't think he knows about her and we want to keep it that way. Whenever we speak in public we're careful to use a code or to avoid any risky topics, but in her car, we are our true selves. As soon as my seatbelt is buckled, we practically talk over each other.
"He's stalking me. I don't know how much of this I'm going to be able to do with you and Ryan," I say.
"I found an ad for a psychic who mentions realms. I know it's a long shot, but Ryan and I agreed that you and I should check it out," Maizie says.
"Did you just hear me? He's stalking me – obsessed." I sigh, frustrated. "I think maybe you should go on your own."
"Ryan thinks he can keep Mason distracted so that he can't follow you."
"We have no idea if he's the only one." I know I'm letting paranoia gain a foothold.
"If we assume he isn't, we do nothing. You've already said pretty much the same thing yourself. If we're going to try to get back, it requires some risks and some action. I know Mason intimidates you," Maizie tacks on at the end.
I look out the window, almost embarrassed to admit the truth, but Maizie and I have agreed that we'll be completely honest with each other. It's the only way we'll all make it back – no secrets. "I felt bad for him last night. I actually felt bad for him."
"What?! Why?" Maizie glares at me. "You can't feel bad for him of all people."
"He was in the First Realm and Ryan's father plucked him out. I just...I don't know. Something about the way he talked about it. I know none of us remember the First Realm, it's a character building realm, but he said he'd never go back. The intensity in him should have scared me because it probably means he'll do anything to avoid being sent back, but it just made me feel bad for him. He remembers that realm..." I looked over at Maizie, a twinge of anger at myself mixed in with all my other confusing emotions. "I hate that I care. It's like Ryan's almost death the other night opened up this well of feeling. I can't seem to close it down."
She hesitates before she speaks. I wonder what she's thinking. Finally, she says, "You are certainly turning into a very soft version of yourself."
We sit in silence for a long time. I shouldn't feel anything other than indifference towards Mason. I'm becoming weaker by the moment and disgust begins to boil my blood.
"Would it help to know that I also have some memories of the First Realm? That it really is that bad?" Maizie asks quietly.
I turn and look at her with my mouth agape. "How do you remember that?"
"I think all those weird ticks and quirks were leftovers from the time I spent there. When I watched you fall, I just remembered so much more than the Third Realm. When I was banished, I went all the way down. It should have been a re-start, I think." She makes a spiraling motion with her hand and flattens it on the console, as though she splattered everywhere.
My head starts to spin and words fly out of my mouth without any conscious thought. "Oh my God. This is huge. I can't believe you didn't tell me this before. First of all: I can't believe you remember the First Realm and that it was really that bad. If I wasn't so excited about the second of all, I'd feel pretty crappy for you right now. But, second of all, that means you can transfer between realms because you weren't banished long enough to have cycled through the First Realm already. You shouldn't be here, in this realm at this age yet, right?"
"I don't remember how I got here though. Like Ryan, I don't know when I got here. It seems like I've been here forever, but I remember all the other stuff, too. It's like having memories on top of memories. It's all a jumble. The timeline is all out of order."
We aren't any closer to securing a way home. I let my head fall back onto the headrest. My stomach feels like it's on a roller coaster. "Does Ryan know?"
"Yeah, we talked about it last night. I was planning to tell you last night too, but, well..."
"I didn't show up." I turn away from her, feeling my brain head into overdrive. "It does mean there's a way back."
"And we must be inching closer or Mason wouldn't be so vigilant," Maizie agrees.
I'm silent for a while, mulling over our conversation. "Why do you think this psychic is important? What do they do in this realm anyway?"
"They can tell the future or something like that. Like a reader, I think. In the ad I found, she mentions past lives and the different realms of existence. I thought those might be key words for people like us who actually know those things exist? It could also be hokey bullshit, but I'll try anything right now."
"When did you and Ryan want to do this?" I ask.
"Saturday. There is a basketball tournament that Ryan has to be at anyway and Mason is also on the team. Since his main concern is the time you spend with Ryan and Ryan will be with him, we should be free to leave town," Maizie says.
"We have to leave town?"
"Yeah, it's a bit of a drive."
"How far?"
"Five hours," Maizie admits.
I suck in a deep breath. "So...I guess we're going on a road trip."
###
"How was your trip to school?" Ryan grabs my hand as soon as I'm out of the car.
"Uneventful, except for all of the events I learned about. I knew I should have studied for that history test a little better."
He laughs and pulls me closer, leaning down to kiss my head. "I missed your face last night. Did you have a good run?"
A warm glow encompasses me as I look into his eyes. I see a brief flash of him, again, on the floor, silent, still. I push it back, willing myself to let that go, pretend like it didn't happen. In this moment, I want so badly to be a normal teenage girl, in love with her boyfriend, arriving at school to find him waiting. Instead, I am coming up with coded phrases to tell him about my life and avoiding thinking about his death a few night earlier.
"I ran into Mason, actually and he was kind enough to make sure I got home safely." I look over Ryan's shoulder as Mason approaches.
"I hear you helped my girl last night." Ryan claps a hand on Mason's shoulder and they exchange a male bonding moment that would be endearing if it wasn't fake.
"Yeah, I was out running, you know, prepping for Saturday's game and I saw her. It was late so I thought I'd try to be a gentleman."
"Well, I appreciate it, man." He turns his gaze from Mason to me and there is a slight shift behind his eyes as our gazes connect. "I never want anything bad to happen to her."
Mason doesn't flinch or react but instead changes the topic. "What are you up to this weekend while we're playing ball, Hannah? You joining the cheerleading squad?"
"Oh, I can join the cheerleading squad? Definitely my life's aspiration. Wouldn't that be great, Ryan? Then we could be together ALL the time!" I know Mason is giving me a dig about the amount of time Ryan and I spend together, but I can't resist responding.
Maizie jumps in before Ryan can answer, clearly prepared. "Actually, we're uh..." She stumbles over her words, plays with her hair and seems nervous in a typical old-Maizie way. "Watching a marathon of chick flicks at my house. My parents are, you know, out of town."
Mason wants me on a tight leash, but surely this must seem pretty harmless.
His eyes seek mine and I hold his gaze. "Sounds...exciting." He pauses and then gives Ryan his typical stoner routine. "We should totally party at Maizie's after the game."
"Can't bro. I don't want to get Maizie in trouble, and Hannah and I are going out on Saturday night once we've kicked some ass." He slings his arm around my shoulders and gathers me close to his side, looking down at me with complete adoration. I don't know how much of this is an act, but I'm sucking it up like someone dying of dehydration.
Mason rolls his eyes. "Lame." He looks down at his watch just as the first bell rings for class. "Catch you all later."
The three of us stand in the hall facing each other, but don't say a word. Relief swells within me. Our cover is set and Mason appears to have eaten it up. As long as I'm back to go out with Ryan after the game, he won't suspect anything.
Author's Note:
What do you think the road trip will bring? What questions do you still have about the realms? Are you starting to understand the three levels?