"Dinah I'll kill you." I whispered in my pillow as my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
I knew it was her. She was committed to finding Lauren and anything she found out she had to tell me immediately. Even if it was almost two in the morning. I picked up the phone and answered half asleep.
"Why? Why can't you wait until morning?" I complained sleepy.
"Because I miss you now." Lauren's voice woke me up instantly.
"Lauren?" I said in surprise, sitting on my bed.
"This is me." she slurred, and then she chuckled. She was drunk. "And you it's you."
"Lauren." I whispered with a slight disappointment. I miss her voice. Her laughter. But it hurt a little to see her like that.
"I told you, that's me." she repeated. "And I, and I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you it's not easy."
I took a deep breath and held any tear that dared leave now. "What?"
"Forget you." she said quietly.
My heart sank in my chest. I wasn't sure if I should believe. Drunken words are true, right? But she left me anyway.
"Why are you doing this, Lauren?" I questioned upset.
"Because I was only able to muster up the courage to call you after a few shots of tequila." she laughed proudly.
"Not that, Lauren. Why did you leave me?" I went straight to the point.
If I wanted answers, perhaps taking advantage of her state it would be the only way.
"Uh, that..." she sighed. "It wasn't my choice, Camzi. They told me it would be better, but- but it's not. This sucks, you know? And... But the good part is that I have VIP pass to all shows."
I frowned confused while Lauren laughed playfully.
"What are you talking about?" I questioned a little irritated.
"Shhhh." Lauren giggled. "Don't tell mommy."
I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath to calm myself down. Lauren continued on saying nonsense for a few minutes for anything I asked her.
"Lauren, just tell me where you are."
"I can't tell you, it's secret Camz!" she said seriously.
She definitely wasn't where she said she would, but I would make her tell me.
"You told your mother you were at your grandparents."
"Yeah, that's what I told her." she couldn't help but laugh now. "Shhhh."
"Lauren-- fuck!" I said frustrated.
"I love it when you talk dirty." she said in a deep voice. "I miss that too, when you swear while my hands and my mouth are all over you-"
"Lauren, focus!" I interrupted her. "Just tell me where you really are!"
"Don't yell at me." she whimpered like a spoiled kid. "Why would you?"
"I'm sorry- I just, I really miss you." I confessed. "You have to come back."
She sighed. "I can't... I have to go."
"No! Lauren, wait, please." I insisted.
"Shhh," she laughed softly. "Quiet, Camz."
"Lauren, listen to me-"
"Bye Camz." she giggled before hanging up and I felt like throwing the phone on the wall.
I couldn't go back to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about Lauren, and I tried to call back, but she didn't answer. I tried to put it all she said together to find out what the hell was going on and this was another sleepless night.
Eventually I told everything to the girls who were quick to find out where else she could be. I on the other hand was with my head elsewhere, and could barely keep up with them, but I would do anything if they get something. I wouldn't run this time.
--
I felt like a zombie, I had no idea how I was managing to move while I helped my mother with the dishes for breakfast. After the night at Ally's, yesterday the sleepover was here and the girls were still asleep. I couldn't sleep properly so I was up early.
"He's sorry for what happened to Lauren and it seems that he was telling the truth." my mother said about my father and I gave her a look.
"First he thinks she's a good friend to me but that until he found out she was my girlfriend, which he thinks it's like against human nature or something and then he starts to hate her. And me too."
"Mija," my mother sighed but I continued anyway.
"I couldn't tell for sure if he hated me because I like girls or for dating her, or both, and now that she's gone he changed his behavior with me out of nowhere, so I think the problem was her. But I'm sure that if I say I'm dating another girl he will do the same so maybe the problem is really me, then no, I will not accept his fucking apology for ruining my life."
"Camila!" she scolded me with a glower. "He's trying, he knows you're not well."
I took a deep breath and shook my head. I wanted to say everything that was wrong with his attitude about my relationship with Lauren and what he was doing now but I don't think it would end well since my mother is now defending him. And finally he was talking to me but it was as if nothing had happened. It was as if he hadn't said to my face that I wasn't his daughter anymore. He was being my father again and after what happened it was bit strange.
"I'm sorry." I muttered as she handed me the last dish and I put on the table.
"Did you get some sleep?" she approached, placing her hands on my cheeks when looking at me.
I shook my head slightly.
"I know you miss her, but you shouldn't stop taking care of yourself. School is next week and you need all the energy you can get." she caressed my face gently. "And stop worrying about her, she is fine."
I knew the truth, or almost. Lauren was fine indeed, at least, but somehow didn't seem right and my mother didn't know anything beyond what Clara told her. So I nodded my head slightly.
"But it's not only her, Dinah will-"
"Will unfortunately have to leave. Believe me, I already miss her but I talked to Milika and this time she can't stay."
I frowned. "You talked to her mother? When?"
"How so? Of course yes. Do you think Dinah just came here and her parents suddenly didn't care?" my mother laughed playfully. "I talked to them whenever I could to let them know she is okay and wasn't lying to them when she called them to tell this."
My mother could use her powers of persuasion to convince Dinah's mother. It makes no sense for her to leave now, and I know that's my selfish part talking louder, but I needed her.
"Oh, of course." I rolled my eyes. "Then... try to talk to them again, just til the end of the year!"
"I'm sorry, Mija. I tried." she gave me a sad look and I nodded disappointed.
This fucking sucks.
"Now go wake everyone, I'll make breakfast." she smiled and kissed my cheek lovingly.
I smiled back, it was good to have her here at least twice a week. My father on the other hand I only saw at night since he left early with this new job, but yet he could spend some time with us, which I do not complain. It was like everything was okay between all of us again, I was just getting used to this feeling again.
Later that day me and the girls did everything together, Sofi was with us all the time and we didn't stop a minute at home. They decided to take a break on looking for Lauren, but I tried to call her constantly. I wondered if she remembered the last conversation, or remember calling me at all.
The good side was that we were having a good time together, I couldn't be sad about Lauren or something, just about the day when Dinah would leave, but then she update me on what she and the girls managed to find out and it was on her last morning in my house.
"We know where she is." Dinah said, smiling proudly.
I almost choked on the water I was drinking. "W-what? Where? How-?"
"Mila, relax. Breathe." Ally chuckled. "It's just a theory."
"A true theory!" Dinah exclaimed.
"True is a very strong word..." Normani said.
"Guys! Where?!" I interrupted hurriedly.
"Okay, we had thought of it first, you mentioned actually." Dinah started, but I wanted the direct answer.
"I mentioned that?"
"I'll get there." she complained.
"Then do it already!" I said and she gave me a look.
"So, you said she could be with Matty, but as we all know he's not in town anymore then we're back to square one since Lauren didn't have trusted friends besides us and Mani said she wouldn't go to an unknown place alone."
I was getting impatient, I didn't want to hear the summary of the whole story, but she wouldn't give me a choice.
"And then, after that call she did and the things she said, maybe you were right." Normani said with a slight shrug.
"What?" I asked anxiously again.
"She's with him." Dinah grinned.
"She might be." Ally corrected, only to let Dinah angrier.
"How?"
"Well, you said he used to give you VIP passes for their shows since the start, which could explain her being drunk and calling from a party." Normani said. "Believe me, where she said it would be is in the middle of nowhere, very different from what you said about the call."
I needed a second to take all in, and most importantly, Lauren was in New York with Matty.
I took the time to research about him since after he left we didn't hear any news. Matty was good, I mean, really well, with his career. Now all kind of made sense, Matty was her best friend and crazy enough to help her with something like this.
"Mila?" Ally called when I didn't say anything for a moment.
"I think she's going to faint." Normani said worriedly.
"She is fine!" Dinah said and snapped her fingers in front of me. "She's just thinking of an excuse to tell her parents to be able to go to New York with me."
"What?" I said surprise.
I wasn't thinking about that! I was relieved, in fact, to know where Lauren was really, but not about going after her. The truth was now I didn't know what to do with this information.
"You'll get her back." Dinah said obviously.
I was still a little disoriented, but this was something I knew that would not happen. My parents would kill me just by thinking about quitting school and going after Lauren.
"I can't." I said in the same tone.
"Are you kidding me?" Dinah said incredulously. "Why the hell we did all this if you two isn't getting together?"
"Dinah, she's right." Ally calmed her. "We found out where she is and she's okay. It's over."
"Of course not!" Dinah was really taking it seriously even if it was obvious that it was impossible.
"We'll figure it out." she added. "Lauren messed up and she needs to see this and come back home. Back to Camila."
"I- I can't." I repeated quietly.
I wanted to go, of course. I wanted to find out what the hell was happening to her. I wanted to know what made her leave, and I wanted to be with her, but that was another barrier that we would have to overcome.
"Well, that sucks." Normani commented sadly.
"Guys, thank you, for everything." I started to say. "We really found her, and I'll think of something."
I looked at Dinah and she shook her head disappointed.
"Dinah, I will. I promise."
"I'll go pack my bags." she said curtly and walked out of the living room with heavy steps up the stairs.
I tried to go after her, but Ally stopped me saying to give her a break. And I did. She slept here at home these days since she was leaving and wanted to stay a little longer with me, but my room was still a mess with her stuff.
When Dinah didn't come down to stay with us I decided to go to her, Normani and Ally left saying they would meet us later to take Dinah the airport.
"You need help." I said looking around my room.
"I'm fine."
"It wasn't a question." I laughed beginning by picking up some of her clothes that were still in my closet.
She was still upset with me, but it would not last long mainly because it was her last day here with me.
"I already miss you." I commented looking at one of her shirts in my hands.
She didn't hesitate to answer. "Me too."
"I really don't want you to go." I spoke without being able to avoid the tears that rolled freely now.
"Mila, come on." she dropped the dress Normani had bought for her on her birthday on my bed and came to me without think twice.
"Please don't go." I sobbed.
"We're going to talk every day. Like the old days."
I laughed softly. It seems an eternity when she got here, but there were only months. So much has happened in these months.
"I don't want to." I grumbled.
"It's what we have now, so get over it." she laughed with me and wiped her own tears. "You should come with me."
I sighed. "Dinah,"
"I know, I know." she muttered. "I get it."
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow suspicious.
"Yeah, don't worry." she smiled widely giving me a kiss on my forehead and hugged me tightly. "Now help me pack this."
Dinah released me and jumped on my bed on top of some clothes.
"And you will not help me?" I questioned.
She closed her eyes and waved her hand. "Yeah, yeah, I'm going in one minute."
She didn't. Dinah fell asleep seconds later.
And I finished doing it alone.
--
My parents and Sofi came after I finished packing Dinah's things. They decided to go shopping, a few things to Dinah too. While she slept in my room I thought more about Lauren and restrained the urge to call her.
Even considered Dinah's proposal to lie to my parents to go meet her and now seemed more pleasing than before, but it was crazy.
"Where is everyone?" my father asked when he saw me alone in the living room.
"Dinah is asleep and the girls will be here in a bit." I said a little tired.
"Kaki!" Sofi ran and jumped on me. It was good I was sitting on the couch or I would fall apart.
"How was the shopping?" I asked her with more enthusiasm.
"It was great! I bought a gift for Dinah." she grinned.
"Really? What is it?" I asked curiously.
"Two teddy bears. Since you didn't want to go I brought one for you to give it to her. I'll get them!" she jumped off my lap and attacked the bags my father left in the corner.
My mother returned with him from the kitchen and sat beside me holding a glass of water. She stroked my face and I showed me a weak smile.
"How are you feeling?"
"Not good." I shrugged my shoulders, lowering my gaze.
"Oh, darling." she looked at me sadly and caressed my face one more time.
My father took the empty place on the other side and took my hand, making me look at him.
"You'll be fine, honey. You still have Ally and Normani here, right?" he said and I nodded. I didn't even suspected he was being so caring with me as the last times, in fact, was comforting.
"I found it!" Sofi shouted.
"Mija, look at the mess you made." my mother scolded her, but Sofi was very excited to show me the gift so she ignored her.
"Simba and Stitch?" I questioned playfully when she took the stuffed animals from inside the bags.
"Yes. I'm Simba and you're Stitch." she said and I frowned curious.
"Why?"
"Because you're clumsy, gets angry easily, but because you're a little slow to understand things. Dinah told me this." Sofi said with a soft laugh. "You tend to make more mess than me and I'm only six years old!"
My parents and I were watching carefully on her as she spoke. It was so cute, and she wasn't completely wrong.
"But you are also a good friend and a good sister. You are caring and strong, even when you're crying and yet you say you're fine. I know you're not." she said quietly and I held her hand.
I always tried to avoid crying in front of Sofi, somehow I thought it would make her have a different idea of me, but I was clearly wrong. I wanted to be a good example for her and for my parents, but I was wrong about that too. Lauren may have influenced me to do wrong, but I was still me. I took the consequences and she too. We grew up.
I couldn't help but cry this time, my mother beside me was so touched too.
"I love you, even if you are clumsy and awkward sometimes." Sofi completed giggling.
"Come here!" I laughed too, pulling her into a tight hug. "I love you, Sofi."
My parents joined as well and for a long time I didn't feel complete that way.
Shortly after Dinah joined us too. It was as if she really were family. My mother made something for us to eat and Dinah and I went to get ready to leave.
Ally and Normani came for us, the day flew by and I just wanted it to slow down to avoid the inevitable.
"Will you tell me what's in the bag now?" Dinah asked Sofi for the umpteenth time when we got out of the car at the airport.
Sofi had hidden the presents before Dinah came down earlier. She wanted to leave for the last moment, and I had to explain to Dinah why we were all crying and I said it was because of her, what wasn't entirely a lie. We would miss her.
"Come on, show it." I encouraged Sofi and she looked at me in doubt before smiling.
"Okay, I will."
"Great!" Dinah said excitedly, kneeling down to stay in front of Sofi.
"I'm curious, come on." Ally said, laughing softly.
Sofi took the stuffed animals from the bag and Dinah's eyes sparkled.
"Oh my God, how cute!" she said holding them.
"I'm Simba." Sofi said what she had said to me before. "And Kaki is Stitch. It's for you to remember us when you miss here."
Dinah shook her head with big smile on her face. Normani and Ally admired two of them and I controlled myself not to cry again. I would be strong. Or try.
"Thank you, big one." Dinah said, wrapping Sofi in a hug with one arm while holding the animals with the other.
"Did you like it?" Sofi asked and we laughed playfully.
Dinah was already in tears. "Are you kidding? I loved it! Thank you."
"Okay, you still can give up!" Normani said, wiping her tears. "Stay!"
We laughed again. Dinah got up and put an arm around Normani, pulling her closer.
"Hey, I'm going to come back! Don't worry." she said happily. "And I have some issues to resolve in New York, unfortunately I'm alone in this."
Dinah said looking at me briefly. I frowned and she smirked, but then I remembered it was because she wanted me to go with her. I shook my head slightly. She was crazy, at least she didn't push this subject, and in fact she gave up too easily.
"You better come back!" Ally said in a motherly tone. "I'll miss you, daughter I never had."
"Oh, you're a great mother. I couldn't have been so welcomed by a person half my size."
We laughed again, my God I wouldn't be able to hold my tears any longer. I started crying right away when her flight was called. She had to hold me for a while before I could let her go.
She cupped my face gently. "I love you, Mila. Please don't go back to being a nerd you were. You're so much cooler than that."
I rolled my eyes playfully. "I wasn't a nerd."
"Yeah, whatever you say to sleep at night." she laughed and hugged me again.
"I love you." I said smiling and giving her yet another hug.
Sofi held my hand as we watch Dinah go and if it wasn't for her I would collapse. I wanted to avoid this day, but unfortunately arrived and I was feeling a wreck again.
--
a/n: halooo! i know it took so long, wasn't what i planned but i had to make some changes all in one to make things go faster next chapter and also the fic. hope you liked and thank you for reading! i haven't thanked you guys like i used to do and it's been years writing this omg, also if you're following this since the beginning, a big thank you!!