(CHRIS’ POV)
I stormed out of Audri’s room and walked into the lobby of the hospital. I knew I couldn’t leave her. OUR son was going through a rough time, and even though I didn’t want to be a father, I couldn’t just leave her when Maurice was obviously my child too, and she needed as much help as she could get.
I talked the lady at the front desk into giving me a pass to the ICU to visit Maurice. When I got to his room, I looked at him through the window. He wasn’t moving at all except for his breathing that was being assisted by a respirator. I walked in and I was amazed at how much he looked like how I did when I was a baby. Immediately I choked up from all the feelings that came to me.
The first time I’m seeing my son is when he’s in a coma, I thought.
I rubbed his forehead and automatically felt a connection with him. I wanted to hold him for the first time, but I knew I couldn’t. So, I pulled the sheet on him some more to make sure he was warm and kissed his cheek lightly before leaving.
I didn’t want to stay in his room too long, so I decided to walk back to Audri’s room to apologize. When I got there, I saw her crying with her face in her hands. She was sitting up with her purse still in her lap.
“He’s beautiful,” I said hoping she would hear me over her sniffling.
She looked up and saw me standing at the door.
“I’ve honestly never seen a child more beautiful,” I said sincerely.
Her eyes were wide and they didn’t move from me. I guess she was surprised I actually went to see him.
“I’m sorry for walking out earlier. And, if I knew you were really pregnant, I wouldn’t have stayed away for as long I did.”
She wiped her eyes with a tissue, “What am I gonna do?”
“What are we gonna do?” I corrected her, “I’m here for you. We can go through this together.”
I sat on the bed by Audri and she leaned her head on my shoulder.
“What if you’re right?” she said still sounding like she wanted to cry again, “What if he doesn’t wake up?”
“I didn’t mean that when I said it. He will wake up. I just saw him, and I can tell he’s gonna get better really soon,” I said to her.
She sniffled, “I haven’t seen him yet. Does he look okay?”
“Yes, he looks fine. He has a few scratches, but it’s nothing too big,” I kissed her forehead, “You don’t have to cry. I’m right here with you…every step from now on, we’ll take together.”
She wiped more tears from her eyes and smiled, “Thank you so much.”
“If we’re gonna make progress, we have to do it together,” I replied.
There was a still silence in the room.
“You know…” she started, “I never stopped thinking about you. Every day I wanted to call you; when Maurice was first born; when he learned to walk; when he said his first word…”
“He’s talking?” I asked.
“Yeah, but he’s only saying a few words,” she told me.
I smiled at the thought of him talking. I felt guilty for missing so much of his life already.
“I don’t want to miss any more of his life.”
“But…what are you gonna do about your tour? Don’t you have like a few more shows to do?” Audri asked.
I thought for a second, “Yeah, I postponed Barcelona for a day, so I can’t postpone it any longer. I have to go back, but I promise I’ll be back.”
“Alright.”
“And…I’m really sorry I never came back to see you. But, you don’t have to worry about it again,” I said, “I want to be here for you and Maurice, and although I’m not ready to be a father, I’m gonna have to accept that I am, and take the responsibility.”
She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck, “Thank you so much Chris.”
In less than nine hours, I was in Barcelona getting ready for the concert. Everything happened so quickly, but I had enough time to think on the plane ride. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore, but I can’t change the past; I just have to deal with it.