When people asks me about her, or when i hear her name from someone's mouth, my heart aches in a deepest and unexplainable pain. Surely they knew about her, surely they knew what happen, how come they didn't had the idea how painful it was to say that she's gone.
She kissed me on my cheeks before letting go my hand ...she whispered words in my ears and it marks in my brain. The way she says those 3 letter words meant much deeper to me now, how i wished i had given everything to her before she leave, how i wished that i'll made her feel the most wonderful woman i've ever met.
"mila , you don't have to do this ." dinah brushed her hand on my back. We watched the sunset. It's been half an hour since i dragged my bestfriend out in the street and sat on the bench where lauren and i used to sit way back when she's still with me. How drainful to talked to her in my sleep, how it felt sad to look at my walls without lively colors, surely she took everything in me when she left. But she left me a ring, the thing that holds of our promises together, most especially ,the thing that makes me believe that she happens in my life.
It was all orange , and a splash of yellow, until the dark came. I was waiting for her, to share the same view i wished her eyes were looking at. Im waiting for the moon and the stars, im waiting for her.. The only thing that's always there to remind me of her, to know that she's with me when she's not.
*********
"ilove you.." She whispers through my ear, her sound of sincere and loyalty. She stares deeply in my eyes with our hands interlock with each other, a smile painted on her face with so much adoration on mine. My savior thought me how to love, and how to be strong enough to face the differences in life, i accept the truth in me , she happens to be my eye opener, now im not afraid to be who i am.. Because of her.
"can't you stay babe?" I asked almost pleading, truely i wasn't the selfish one but this time, i wanted her to be mine, i want no one but her in my bed, in my arms.
"i'll be back, i promise...so i can grant my reward remember?" She playfully smiles at me with bright eyes. "and promise me you will never look for another green eyes in school okay?" She pinch my nose gently and kissed me on my forehead.
"your eyes ,it's all i ever wanted lauren, cause it's you." i said with a forced smile.
"6 months babe, wait for me huh, " she places a soft kiss on my forehead.
"i'll be back, and i'll marry you, then we will plan about our baby , i told you i want two girls, so prepare for that future mrs jauregui." Her words brings joy inside me. Her warm skin on my body, if we could only stay like this forever.
"how about, we live in miami with our baby? What do you think?" She brushed her thumb on my cheek. _"i want our home to be simple ,warm with the smell of your favorite coffee in the morning, then i imagined waking up with you beside our bed with our little baby in your arms, that will be my biggest dream camz." she tickles me and brought me up in her arms. "i love you."
My tears began to roll down on my cheeks, it's been 3 months since the accident and still there's no green eyes appeared in my front door. I missed her, i missed her so much.. Damn! She's irreplaceable.
I look at the moon with my tears continuosly drops on my cheeks, i began to sob as i felt the pain in my chest.
" she's not coming back dinah'" i said between sobs, my bestfriend hugged me trying to atleast ease my pain. She knows how hard it is for me, dinah was my biggest comforter ,she and ally always checks on me making sure im fine.
"shhhhh .." She's rubbing my back gently ,with her own glittery eyes. "be strong mila.. You can do this,.."
I sob harder under her neck, " she's- dead ,... I didn't save he-r.. She's dead dinah."
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"hey ..." His eyes captured mine while i sat on the bottom of the staircase ,i known this desserted place for about months now, and he's the lucky one who found me.
I tried to push a smile and he slowly sit beside me with a binder on his hand.
We sat there in silence , i knew how much he wanted to talked to me but im glad that he kept to understand my situation. He's someone whom i know i can trust besides my friends, he's a good man right from the start.
"austin, where do people go after they..." I forced to speak, only to let out a deep sigh.
He looked at me with his understanding eyes, then he tried to smile. "the only thing i know was, they're safe." He squeeze my shoulder gently trying to comfort me.
"lauren is alive in your heart mila.." He said warmtly. Silence takes place once more ,as i looked at the falling leaves from the old huge trees.
"how about, after your class come with me, i'll take you somewhere to atleast get closer to her."
I looked at him confusedly trying to read his mind, he nod for assurance and smile.
We ended up on the rooftop where lauren once leave her prints. I thought i saw her with me in one corner hugging each other, but it was all in the past now, memories remains.
"shout.." He said with his hands on his pockets , his body next to mine as we both stares at the view of mountains and city in both. I tried to speak but nothing comes out of my mouth. He step forward placing both of his hands in the corner of his mouth.
"LAUREN!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!" He shouted out loud with the visible veins in his neck. "SHE MISSES YOU SO MUCH!!" He shouted once more.
I laughed at him with the tears rolling in my cheeks, i began to sob covering my mouth with my hand. The sky begans to glitter in shade of yellow and orange, and soon im expecting the dark.
"come on , tell her what you feel." Austin said with his eyes deep in mine.
I took a deep breath placing both of my hands in the corner of my mouth..
"LAUREN!! COME BACK HERE YOU IDIOT!" i shouted firing with tears mixed with cries.
"I LOVE YOU!! I- " i sob harder this time. "THANKYOU FOR ...LOVING ME!! IM SORRY,.. WE CAN NO LONGER BE TOGETHER!.. SORRY FOR- NOT SAVING YOU!" i felt the pain in my chest, beggining to let go.
" I MISSED YOU! I- I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT! PLEASE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! I LOVE YOU BABE!! I LOVE YOU!" I shouted harder until i lost my voice, the deep pain in my chest was somewhat triggered. Every tears i lost , it's because im deadly missing her.
Many months past, days, hours and she doesn't come back. I met her family after the accident, and surely it wasn't the most appropriate time to meet them. They said they recovered lauren's wrist watch that her father gave her on her birthday last year. They asked me how i met their daughter and they felt sorry for me. Which i feel the same for them. The night before the accident i talked to lauren on the phone, she said she's excited to see me and spend her birthday with me. And now, everything was gone.. Just like that...
Lauren's pov:
"please tell her i love her.. Please give this to her Please.. " i beg as i felt the ache in my left arm where i see the flowing of blood.
"no! You don't have to do this.. We can come back for normani, please come with us.. We'll figure out how to save her." Her eyes deeply encouraging me to go with them, her hands we're in bleed holding me on my shoulder, she can't barely walked because of wounds and fracture in her leg. "you're wounded too, " she said while placing a stripped cloth in my arms.
"no i wont leave my friend behind.. She's a doctor ariana, she saves lives, hundred of lives, i can't leave her with those terrorist... I ... I cant loose my bestfriend.." i said through desperation. "i made a promise to dinah that i'll protect her.. I can't go back there safe while my friend was in critical."
"but we already search the entire area, they said it would be difficult to cross bounderies with those terrorist, they'll attack the whole community." Ariana said , her trembling hands brush mine .
The medics came with helicopter trying to save every wounded armies.
"go!!please..please.. Give this to her.. " i kissed my watch with the tears violently escaping in my eyes ,i placed it in her palm and enclosed it with mine. She looked at me , trying to convice me one last time. But i just smiled at her and closed her into a hug.
"tell her i love her, i'll be back.. Tell her to wait for me..tell her how beautiful she was, im going to marry her, i love her eyes, tell her how i wished to be with her everyday... " i sob at her shoulder.. "Keep safe.. Your husband needs you safe.. " i whispered , we stayed in that position in a minute, then pulled out myself wiping my eyes and smile at her, before walking back, and run through the nearest trees with my fellow officers. I don't care if im bleeding, i need to save her.. We both need to come back to dinah, our families and most especially to the woman that i loved, ... I'll be back.. Camila.
!!!the girls just won two moon man awards for best summer song and best collab, im so proud of them.. Plus camren was alive again!! Screaming like hell in my bed!! The way camila looked at lauren.. Not to mention how hot they was..
Alright.. Forgve me.. Im just so happy.. By the way.. In case you had time to try my other camren fanfict you can find in my wall called 'im inlove with a monster.' Gracias!