Broken (3)
Ash was taking his time to open the door so my thoughts began to run wild when he did eventually come to the door, I didn't notice.
"Khayla...Khayla...Khayla!"
"Huh?...Oh sorry, Ash"
I hugged him, his embrace felt warm but I didn't want to get too close to him so I made it quick.
"Haha, It's okay, come in"
I smiled at him and walked in.
Ash was short for Ashley but he thought the name was too "girlie" so everyone called him Ash from a early age. Ash lived with his mum Amy and his half-sister Kelly who was 4.
His dad died when he was about two years old but his mum remarried to his stepdad when he was four. Ash calls him Dad as he hasn't known anyone else as "Dad." Overall, the family was close, I could tell because there was pictures everywhere and I can't explain it but the atmosphere just felt calm and loving. It made me feel relaxed and safe which is how Ash makes me feels in a sense.
"Do you want a drink?" Ash asked after he shut the door.
"No, thanks."
"Let me take your coat."
"Thanks."
I took it off and he hooked it on the stairs.
"I'll be right back, go through to the living room, I'll be back down in a minute."
"Ok."
I stepped into the living room which smelled of fresh flowers and sat down onto the brown leather sofa. I was staring again into space just waiting for Ash, just wanting to get this done and over with as I again was convicing myself this was wrong.
"You alright?"
Ash stepped back into the room with a red hoodie on which he wasn't wearing before.
"Yeah, Im okay...."
He was going to speak again but I had to interupt him.
"....Listen Ash, I know why I'm over here, you like me but I love Trey, I'm sorry I hurt you and Trey did too but nothing can happen between us, let's just be friends. Please."
There was a silence and stares. He was hurt but I had to tell him.
"Khayla, you're right I like you but you can't say that you never thought about dumping Trey and being with me."
He got me right where he wanted me because he was right and he (and I) knew it.
"You're right but I can't be with you."
"Why are you scared of what Trey thinks? What others would think?"
"No I'm not but...I dunno."
"Listen Khayla, if you go through life worrying about what others think how are you going to live?"
"Ash, I don't know. I can't answer that. This is all complicated."
"It's not, its complicated because you want it to be. It's complicated because you need it to be because you're scared to be with me."
He had me thinking like mad, I wanted to scream at him and tell him he was wrong but he was'nt, the more I thought about it, the more it killed me.
He moved to sit next to me, I moved ever so slightly and looked away.
"You can't resist me Khayla."
"I've got to go."
I got up as if to leave but my feet didn't want to move yet they had to.
I was in a relationship. School was good. Family life was great.
I didn't need this.
Ash got up and we were facing each other. His bright brown eyes were looking at me, mine flashing back into his.
"If you don't feel anything for me now. Go. If you don't. Stay." He was serious. I was melting, I didn't want to.
I walked out of the room, grabbed my coat and opened the door to leave. I was about to step out when I noticed...
"TREY!"