day 97
dear sage,
the police finally finished off searching your room, they found all of our fingerprints there, and they asked everyone for an interview. simon didn't want to, but he eventually did, apparently he cried through the entire thing. he had to hand in the letter you wrote him, he told the police you dropped it in the house, and that harry had picked it up and given it to you so that harry wouldn't get in trouble for snooping in your apartment.
we did go into your apartment last night, just to check again, for any subtle clues, and we found one. i called josh straight away, telling him we found a travel guide for europe dated 2016. we all got into my car, and i drove the boys over to the sidemen house. we looked through the guide for hours, and eventually, we found a note you had made. for october this year, for the 19th. the day the sidemen were formed back in 2013, you've booked a hotel in paris, for october the 19th. we told simon immediately and he just nodded and then closed the door.
i went to his room after an hour, i took him some food that josh had made for us all, and i realised the door was unlocked. i walked in, the room was almost in total darkness. i flicked on the light and i saw him, sat in the corner, his knees pulled into his chest and his sleeves pulled over his hands, he'd been crying again.
i brought you up some food, simon.
i'm not hungry, i'm never hungry.
thats because your stomachs gotten small because you haven't been eating since she left. if you don't look after yourself, you aren't even going to be alive when she gets back.
i don't want to be alive if shes not here.
she will come back. plus, we know she's going to be in paris.
i gave him the food and left.
i wish i'd have stayed, and let him cry on me.
i shouldn't have fucking left, sage.
if i'd have stayed he wouldn't have taken all those pills and put himself in hospital.
its all my fault...all of this...its my fault.
and i'm so, so fucking sorry, sage.
i hope you can forgive me.
-ethanx