I knelt down beside the stream, splashing cold water on my face. It helps me forget the nightmares that I have every night.
If I had been more focused on what was happening in front of me instead of what was going on in my mind I may have been able to prevent my worst nightmare from happening.
Instead I wasted my time sitting alone in the forest. Trying to force all of my problems away by sheer will.
It was a scream that broke me out of my thoughts. I shot up as terror gripped my heart and made my blood run cold.
Anna!
I raced through the forest as fast as I could. Barely aware of my surroundings as they rushed past me in a blur.
My lungs were burning and my body was screaming for me to slow down but I ignored it all. I had to get to Anna, I had to get to her before it was too late.
I burst out of the forest and skid to a stop. In front of me are at least a dozen men, each one armed with a weapon of some kind. I reach for my own weapon when Anna's frightened voice reaches my ears.
"Caran! Help me please!"
One of the men has her, there's blade against her neck and her eyes are wide with terror.
"If you come any closer she dies."
The man holding Anna says pressing the blade harder against Anna's skin. Her entire body is trembling.
"What do you want with me?"
I demand feeling my anger burning inside and I know that it's only a matter of time before I lose control of myself.
"We know that you're the "assasin" that's been murdering people, our people."
One man snarls.
"We've tried to teach you a lesson that'll keep you out of our lands but everytime we've tried you either killed us or got away."
"So now we're going to teach you a lesson that you'll never forget."
The man holding Anna says.
"And if you refuse to comply then I'll kill her."
Anna's eyes meet mine. They're desperate, pleading for me to save her. I hang my head and clench my hands into fists.
"Do what you want with me, but if you kill her I will slay every man that walks in your villages."
I look up and lock eyes with who I assume is their leaders.
"Starting with you."
Their leader smiles.
"You have my word."
Two men come up behind me and take my sword. They search me for any other weapons I may have and then tie my hands behind my back.
They force me to my knees and instantly the memory of when Veliron murdered my son flashes through my mind.
I force the memory to the back of my mind and focus on what's happening now.
"You have me."
I say glaring at the leader.
"Let her go."
"Oh! I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that I can't do that."
My anger bursts and I lunge forward. I would have been able to get to him if his men hadn't grabbed me and held me back.
"YOU PROMISED TO LET HER GO!"
I shout as I strain against the men holding me. I will not go through this again. I will not watch Anna die, not like this.
"Actually, I promised not to kill her."
He says trying to hide his uneasiness at seeing me in my enraged state.
"I can't let her go because she is going to be what we use to get our revenge. Isn't that right men?"
They shout their approval and I struggle even harder than before.
"Caran!"
Anna screams.
"Shut up she elf!"
The man shoves her onto the ground and pulls out a whip that was hanging loosely at his side.
I scream in anger and fight even harder. Half of the men are forced to hold me down to keep me from struggling.
They force me onto the ground to where I'm laying on my side. And the rest of the men surround Anna who's helpless to run away.
When I hear the whip crack against her skin and hear her scream in pain. My world crashes around me.
I can't see or think. All that I am aware of is the cracking of the whip, and Anna's screams. But it doesn't end with the whipping.
Next comes the beating.
The punches, the kicks.
Her screams become fainter and fainter until they are silent. I can see nothing but grey, as if all the color has left my sight.
I don't even feel the men cut off my bonds and release me. I can barely comprehend what the man in front of me says as he grabs a handful of my hair and pulls my head up.
"I hope you've learned your lesson elf."
He slams my head into the ground and pain explodes throughout my mind.
It's not because of the physical pain, it's because of the horror of watching my baby sister get beaten in front of me.
I force myself to crawl over to where she lays. Motionless and covered in blood, her blood.
I sit up beside her and cradle her body against mine. I can't tell if she's alive or dead. All I know is that it's my fault.
I'm the one who started killing. I'm the one who led those men here.
I'm the one who failed to save the one I promised to protect.
"Anna, forgive me."
My voice is hoarse as tears begin to well up in my eyes.
I put my forehead against hers and that's when I hear it.
She's breathing.
"Anna?"
I shake her gently.
Hoping for her to wake up.
"C-Caran?"
She's alive!
My joy fades immediately.
How long will she live with her injuries? I can't heal, I can only destroy.
I never mentioned this before because when I first discovered it I was afraid and shameful of it, but while Alatar was doing his experiments on me he didn't just make me into a monster.
He gave me certain...
Powers.
They are things that I do not want. I promised myself that I would never use them because of their malice.
But now, seeing that Anna's life was at stake, I had no other choice. I gathered her into my arms and began to carry her north. Deeper into the forest the surrounded our home, and to a place where I knew she would be safe.
////
I had come up with this plan years ago, if anything ever happened that endangered Anna's life, I would bring her to a safe place.
A place where she would be safe from those who did her harm, and from me.
I stepped over tree roots and willed myself to go faster. Anna was fading fast, I knew that she didn't have much time left.
One of the abilities I had that I did use was the ability to sense when other beings were nearby. I onlt used it during combat or when I had been hired to assasinate someone.
Now I used it to make sure that Anna would be found.
I kept going a few more paces before I stopped. Carefully I set Anna down to where she was leaning with her back against a tree.
She moaned softly and I gently carressed her face with my hands.
"Anna? Listen to me, you have to stay awake alright? Just for a little longer."
"C-Caran? W-where-"
"Stop Anna. You need to rest now. Help is coming. You're going to be alright, you're safe now."
"W-what.... about.... you?"
Her voice is so weak it brings tears to my eyes.
"You mean so much to me Anna."
I say as I move my hands to rest on either side of her head.
"What.... are you doing?"
"I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry that I broke my promise."
"Caran...."
I close my eyes and a single tear runs down my cheek.
"I love you Anna."
Before she can say anything else she gasps as a shudder runs through her body. I hate myself for what I'm doing to her but I have no coice.
I'm taking away her memories. Every single one of them.
Even the ones of her family, me, and her name.
The only to keep her safe is if I get as far away from her as possible. And if she doesn't ever know who I am.
She gasps and suddenly her body lies still. I know that she's still alive, but she will be awake soon.
I lean forward and kiss her forehead.
"I love you so much Anna, you were the only one who could have saved me."
I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. She is so beautiful, she will bring happiness to someone else in her new life, the one I was forced to give her.
I step away as I hear footsteps approaching. Calmly I enter the trees and merge with the shadows. I watch as several elves race over to Anna's side, shouting at each other in frantic voices.
One of the elves kneels down in front of Anna and calls to her softly, asking her is she's alright.
Her eyes slowly open, dazed and confused. She won't remember how she got there at all, she'll only remember what I put in her head.
The elf is asking her what her name is. She seems confused for a moment as she waits for her name to surface.
I picked a name that would suit her in her new home, the name was also our mother's name.
She always looked so much like naneth.
Her eyes focus as her name comes to her. She looks the dark haired elf in the eye and says her name.
"Tauriel, my name is Tauriel."