James P.O.V.
The same story had repeated again. The paramedics asked me so much questions I didn't know how to answer properly. They forced me to leave her hand. With eyes closed, she had no pulse. No beats, no more anything... Her heart was really weak because of the amount of lost blood, the internal bleeding too. That action was the trigger. Even they couldn't answer if she would ever wake up, or be the same again.
I called Michael when they took her to operation room. I explained everything the best I could through the phone. I didn't have an idea of what would I do anymore. I had no more hope, and the numbness filled slowly my chest. For one thing or another, we would never be happy, like she said.
I felt guilty. I could have stopped everything, and she would be reading her thesis late at nite.
''James, dude.'' Michael's voice spoke behind me. He sat next to me and put his arm around my back. ''I'm so sorry.''
''I could have stopped it.'' I mumbled, looking at nowhere.
''You didn't know.'' He said. ''Like the last time, you didn't know too.''
''She should be reading her thesis at home.'' I said. ''She just should be awake.''
''James...''
''I proposed to her yesterday.'' I chuckled nervous. ''I fucking proposed to her and she accepted.''
''That makes things worse.'' I heard Michael whisper.
''I need a break, I'm going crazy here.'' I said getting up. I left, and walked into the nearest bar I found. I needed to forget, to feel completely numb. I felt lost, hate to myself somehow like I said to Michael. I found myself immersed in my own thoughts, looking at one of many I had taken until someone reached my shoulder.
''What are you doing here all alone?'' A female voice asked. ''My name is Sarah, by the way.''
''James.'' I mumbled, drinking the entire glass. ''I've lost someone, or I'm losing.''
''Woah, take it slow.'' She said caressing my arm. ''You wanna talk about it?''
''Why would you just talk to a drunk guy at a bar.'' I chuckled.
''Because I may help you.'' She replied. ''I can make you forget everything.''
''Well he got to go, sorry miss.'' Michael appeared and forced me to get up. He paid for me and dragged me out the place. ''Can you tell me what the fuck were you doing?''
''I told you I'd be going crazy waiting for the news.'' I replied bitterly.
''You're drunk, you idiot.'' He sighed and helped me walking. ''Let's have a quick walk, I've asked and they can't tell anything yet.''
''Stop.'' I mumbled and sat over a bench, running my hands through my hair and face.
''Come on, man.'' Michael whispered and sat again next to me.
''I'm afraid.'' I cried. ''This is tearing me apart and there's so much pain.'' I cried out this time, repeating her last words.
''She'll be with you soon.'' He said trying to confort me. ''Do you want me to drive you home or do we go to the hospital?''
''Hospital.'' I sobbed. ''She took her away from me.''
''Let me take care of that.'' He said as we walked into the building. I sat where I was desolated, drowning with my own tears. ''Take this.'' Michael said, giving me some water to be sober again.
''I don't know what I'm going to do.'' I broke down again as I gazed my hands full of her, now dry, blood. ''I cannot take this anymore, any longer.''
''This will be over soon.'' He said and hugged me as if I were his little brother. ''The James I know is stronger than this.''
''That James is gone now.'' I mumbled.
''Look at me.'' He said angrily. ''It's not your fault, she's with you.''
''No, Michael.'' I sobbed, shaking my head. ''Don't lie to me.''
''I'm not lying, you crap.'' He said, crying this time. ''You both were made to be together, and soon you'll be.''
We waited there for hours. I couldn't stop crying. My head, body and eyes were about explode. Michael didn't leave me alone there. He tried to contact her brother and mother, but no one of them picked up the phone. It made me feel angry, also guilty because she didn't want them to know. But they still were her family, something that nothing could ever change.
''Family of Mrs. McAvoy?'' A doctor asked. I looked at him and got up as fast as I could.
''I'm her husband.'' I replied, knowing it wasn't true at all, but it didn't matter.
''And you are?'' The doctor asked Michael.
''I'm...'' He doubted.
''Her brother.'' I mumbled. ''What's on?''
''We've finished the surgery.'' He said checking some papers. ''Follow me.''
''But is she okay?'' I asked walking behind him.
''She's really weak right now, she's lost so much blood.'' He said and stopped in front of a door. ''One of you can see her first. Decide it quick.''
''Go, I'll wait for you here.'' Michael said and I nodded my head.
''Mr. McAvoy.'' The doctor said before he could open the door. ''She's sedated, so I don't know if she will speak with you.'' I nodded again and took a deep breath, waking into the room.
I sat holding her hand. She looked really pale, but still beautiful as always. I let myself cry in silence while I kissed her hand. Suddenly she grimaced in pain, so her eyes opened a bit.
''Hey.'' She mumbled and tried to smile. ''Where's he?''
''Who, dear?'' I asked her softly.
''James.'' She asked back with eyes closed, really sleepy.
''He's with you.'' I whispered crying.
''I love him.'' She smiled barely conscious. ''Probably I wasn't the best girlfriend and so much people thought we were going to break up soon.'' She paused. ''But he has to know I love and gave him my heart.'' She coughed, letting go a tear.
''Mr. McAvoy?'' The doctor asked again, opening the door. ''It's time to leave.''
''He loves you so much that it hurts.'' I mumbled and kissed her forehead. ''I've got to go, my dear.''
''How's she?'' Michael asked me as I leaned my body on the corridor's wall.
''Sedated.'' I mumbled. ''She didn't recognize me, and asked where I was.''
''At least she can talk.'' Michael said and sat by my side.
''Michael, I saw tears falling from the corners of her yes because of the pain.'' I said. ''Her words were like a goodbye.'' I said with a small voice, trying to control myself until I heard a rending cry coming from her room. ''What's going on?'' I shouted, trying to walk in.
''Stay right here, sir.'' A nurse said, blocking me. ''Probably she woke up.''
''I need.'' I said shaking. ''I need to see her, to calm her, please.''
''I do understand.'' She sighed. ''But this is my job.''
''Help me, please.'' I heard her beg. ''Mama, wo bist du jetzt?'' She cried in German this time.
''She's asking where's her mother now.'' Michael whispered and gave me a worried look.
''Do you speak German?'' The nurse asked Michael. He looked at her confused. ''It's an emergency.''
''Yeah, I do.'' He said.
''Speak to her, we can't supply her the treatment.'' She said.
''He has to come with me.'' Michael raised his eyebrows.
''Yeah, whatever, but quick!'' She said and we, finally, got into the room.
''Victoria.'' Michael said. ''Sehen Sie mich!''
''Wo ist James?'' She sobbed. ''Ich kann nicht mehr.''
''James.'' Michael called me. ''Hold her hand, she needs you.'' He paused. ''Er ist hier.''
''I'm here.'' I whispered, taking her hand. ''You've just woken up, and they're going to give you the medicine, okay?'' I said trying to relax her.
''James.'' She tried to repeat crying. ''Es tut mir Leid.'' She said.
''Look at me.'' I said. ''I love you. No more tears.'' I mumbled squeezing her hand with tears.
''Ich...'' She sobbed in a small voice. But she couldn't say anything else, she fell asleep as the doctors sedated her for once.