Michael + Ch. 9 - Cold Fingers + Movies
I couldn't get Calum Hood out of my head. Maybe it was just the woolgathering that was getting to me, or the things that Luke warned me about, but it wasn't sticking with me in the way it should have been. I managed to forget about him for a while on the nights I'd spend with Daryl watching old movies on Netflix or listening to Prince or The Beatles through our beaten up radio.
But at school, it was immensely impossible to avoid his big brown eyes, with the way they stood out in the projections of blue, green - even yellow. There were moments when I just wanted to give it all up and compliment him, persuade him into believing he's the most beautiful human being in existence, but I know he wouldn't give into something like that, as it's coming from me, and not his boyfriend.
I'm still trying to figure out the truth behind why it is that Luke Hemmings hates me. It can't just revolve around the fact that I'm into his boyfriend, but has to be something more; makes me wonder if we were meant to be rivals or enemies to begin with. I can't stand him, he can't stand me. That's the way it's supposed to be.
I was sitting in the corner of the gym again, my wheelchair facing the wall since my presence bothered everyone around me. At a time like this, I could say except for Calum, but he was too busy clinging onto Luke and giggling into his ear for no apparent reason. I wished, badly, desperately, that I could be in his place for at least a day to experience what it's like. But then again, that'd never happen. He's way out of my league, and is only interested in football players. It'd have to be a miracle for me to become one again, honestly.
"As you all know, movie night is tonight, and the bake sale is tomorrow. I expect to see each and every one of you there helping the girls out." I could hear groaning coming from every football player in this class. The only person who didn't seem to be complaining was Calum, but he was always on the positive side of things. Or at least he was at school. Outside of this hell, he has a vapor with him, a frown or scowl on his face and is secretly as depressed as I am. He could be worse, but I'll never know. Calum covers it up pretty well.
"The goal is to raise three hundred dollars. The check will be split in half, so we profit off of what you put into it. So I suggest you don't screw things up this time." The only time it was successful was when I was on the team. They have no clue about what they're missing.
Yes sir was heard in the distance, but I only rolled my eyes. I would have enjoyed helping out, if it weren't for the stuck up cheerleaders that acted like complete witches or brats. And the worst part about it all was that most of them were dating the football players, which was practically a typical high school love story. Except without the love, and more of just the hormonal kind of benefits-relationship type. If that makes any sense.
"W-What can I do?" I spoke up, suddenly feeling small under the gaze of everyone else. They all knew about my crush on Calum, and despite it being weeks, I'm still a joke. Yet Calum seems to be the only one who doesn't mind and it's tricking me out. There are points where I wonder if he was even at school that day, or if he was just pretending that I didn't like him so that our 'friendship' wouldn't change. Either way, it was bothering me that he didn't act on my feelings like every other person. Specifically Luke. I still have a bruised cheek because of that bastard.
"Well, the bake sale will be pretty hot outside tomorrow, so you can put yourself to use by holding a fan for them." I wanted to respond, but I couldn't. Not with the way three quarters of the class were laughing at his comeback. Being in a wheelchair sucks. Actually, just generally being Michael Clifford sucks, and I can't find a single advantage about being me.
"That's not very nice," Calum stood up, shoulders no longer seeming sluggish as he loosened his grip on his boyfriends arm, "I mean I get that he's in a wheelchair, but that doesn't mean he's incapable of selling cookies, you know?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Luke snarled, arms tangling around the brunettes waist, "I think him holding a fan would be a form of charity work, don't you guys think?" With the amount of yeahs I heard, I wanted to cry. People really do treat you differently when you have disabilities. In this case, I have more things wrong with me than others could ever know, but I keep them hidden. Being in a wheelchair is bad enough.
"You all talk about equality and making sure everyone is treated fairly, yet when it comes to Michael, here, you act like he's some sort of alien."
"That's because he is," Alex spoke up while rolling his eyes, "I don't know what you expect from this kid. He's as useless as it gets."
I didn't miss the way Calum glanced over at me in sympathy and mouthed I'm sorry. I didn't miss the way he melted under Luke's touch as the boy pressed soft kisses to his neck. I didn't miss the way everyone resorted to treating me as though I was any less of a human. But I did miss the way Calum turned back at me and sighed. Luke noticed, though.
"Why are you defending that piece of shit?"
"I dunno," Calum shrugged, glancing down at his feet, "I think he's nice." Perhaps it was rude of me to eavesdrop, but I wanted to hear what he thought about me. Even if it would put me in the friend-zone. Who am I kidding? I'm already there.
"He can barely speak properly without stuttering," Luke pinpointed, and I hated the fact that he was right, "Michael literally tries to get with everyone he sees. I mean have you seen the way he practically undresses you with his eyes, Calum? It pisses me the fuck off."
"Why do his feelings matter when they don't reciprocate yours, babe?" Calum chuckled, tugging onto Luke's hand and pressing a gentle kiss against it. "It sounds to me like you're jealous."
"Of what? A boy who can't even walk?"
"Exactly," Calum grinned, eyes glancing into Luke's blue ones.
"Man, whatever," Luke rolled his eyes playfully before pretending to giggle in a cute way, and it absolutely disgusted me. That should be me is what I wanted to say, but I just wheeled myself into the changing rooms to pretend that I was okay, despite knowing I wasn't.
-
Movie Night was something I never looked forward to. It was a thing specifically designed for seniors, and now that I was one, I had the opportunity to go. But in a way, I didn't want to. It was all about your popular status and how many people knew you. If you were and are a loner like me, you wouldn't stand a chance on that social ladder.
But being me and trying to get my way with things, I went anyway. And I wasn't surprised to see Calum standing in line with his boyfriend and best friends. He was wearing a dark blue varsity jacket with the initial 'C' on it and our school's team logo on the back. He was in spirit, while I was only wearing sweatpants and had messy hair. I liked to think that I pulled it off nicely.
"U-Uh, one ticket for whatever is playing, please." It was so cold, and I hated knowing that tiny snowflakes were decorating the top of my head, in the same way that the wind was trying to attack me like a knife. Maybe bringing a heavier jacket would have been a smart idea.
"Okay, that'll be five bucks."
I used my breath to blow on my hands for warmth, since they were practically frozen due to the temperature outside. It shouldn't be snowing at the end of fall. But it is, because it does what it wants, I guess. "H-Here you go."
With my luck, I was hoping that I'd be able to fit in with the crowd and people wouldn't pay attention to me. But as usual, Luke was the first person to point me out. It's become such a ritual that I'm beginning to think something is up with that boy. That maybe he's planning something that I don't know about and will find out eventually. Kind of terrifying to think about.
Except there was one difference. He and the rest of his friends were drunk.
"Hey Mikey!"
I bellowed my eyebrows at the nickname coming from the blonde, but went with it, anyway. Why he acted differently towards me when intoxicated wasn't my business, but I was still curious nonetheless. "Uh, hey?"
"Whatcha doin' here?" Luke reiterated, gloved hands entwining with Calum's ungloved ones. I hated how cute they were. But at the same time, I knew Calum and I could be cuter.
"Just seeing a movie, because you know, it's a tradition for a senior so-"
"Oh cool!" Luke interrupted with a hiccup, just before giving me a sly, drunk smile. "Do you want to join us? We just got our tickets and there's probably an extra seat somewhere."
"I mean, I'll just be on the landing because I'm already sitting, but sure," I smiled, realizing that this was my only way to take advantage of the boy. Calum didn't seem to be having it though, because he angrily pulled Luke forward and forced him to sit down away from me. I never received a reason for what had happened, either. It just did.
The most awkward part about the movie wasn't that I was the only one not sitting in a proper chair, but that I was the only single person in the theatre. Everyone was making out with someone, or holding hands, or giggling and being excessively cute, while I was just there. Which is exactly why I decided to wheel myself out, knowing that nobody would notice because the only time people paid attention to me was when I was the new news of the century, rather than the old news. It's how my high school worked, and quite frankly, I was starting to not mind it. I guess I'm just growing used to being gossiped about, growing accustomed to the fact that nobody will ever love a crippled boy with restricted movements, and I'm trying to be okay with that. Even though it hurts really bad.
The ground was icy. A little too icy for my wheels to move against the pavement properly, but I still continued to push them along anyway. And it was a big mistake too, because as soon as the bottom of my wheel got stuck on a piece of ice, my wheelchair was moving at a speed faster than lightning and I couldn't see where I was going. And the strangest part about it all was that I didn't feel a crash, and I couldn't feel any sort of pain or numbness; I felt exactly the same.
That's when I realized what happened.
There were two ungloved hands on the arms of my wheelchair, midst flowing into the air with hot, fanning breath and then it hit me. Calum saved me again.
"You should be more careful. Strolling out on cold nights like these in a wheelchair could get you killed."
"Thanks, but I-I can take care of myself," I stuttered out, trying to roll away from him, from my problems, from the reality that's sinking in that he doesn't like me in the way that I like him. This fucking sucks. And I hate to admit that.
"Michael, when are you going to stop running away from me?" Calum questioned, and I could tell that he wasn't as intoxicated as the rest. Or maybe he wasn't at all. His eyes weren't bloodshot red, his words weren't slurring and he wasn't stumbling at all. I guess, in this case, he was the driver and he had to stay sober, which is really nice and a bonus for me.
"I'm not running away from you, Calum. I'm just going home," I laughed, trying to warm myself up by rubbing my hands together, yet failing miserably. Why was it so cold? Was this meant to resemble my relationship with him?
"Then let me take you there," he replied, brown eyes shining down on me as he pulled me away from the gutter and back onto the sidewalk, "I don't want you out here alone. It's dangerous."
"I'm fine."
"Michael," Calum said sternly, sending a glimpse of him that I never saw coming, one that I didn't want him to reveal. I was hoping that he wouldn't mention my crush on him. It'd kill me inside. "Please just let me."
"How can I repay you for it, then?"
"Just buy me hot chocolate and we're even," Calum joked, but I was serious about this. I wanted to make sure that he knew I cared, in the same way that he cared about me. And at a time like this, Luke wasn't here to get in the way of our conversation. It felt so nice.
"You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Hood."
-
A/N;
2398 words
Thoughts?
It's literally 3am and I just wrote this for you guys. Sorry it's utter crap.
Fun fact; polar bears can eat as many as 86 Penguins in one sitting
I'm going to an amusement park tomorrow and I was dared to get a number from a random stranger and I'm nervous bc I have the worst social anxiety omfg. Fuck. I'll let you guys know how that goes. :/ probs won't happen.
Please don't forget to leave a comment and a vote, stay tuned for the next chapter and just know ily all very much. 💕