Harry sprinted up the boys' dormitories to fetch the Invisibility Cloak and the Maurader's Map, while Aurora and Hermione ran up to theirs to fetch a scarf and gloves.
They crept trough the portrait hole and covered themselves hastily in the Cloak - Ron had grown so much he now needed to crouch to prevent his feet showing - then, moving slowly and cautiously, they proceeded down the many staircases, pausing at intervals to check on the map for signs of Filch or Mrs. Norris. They were lucky. They saw nobody but Nearly Headless Nick, who was gliding along absent-mindedly humming something that sounded horribly like 'Weasley is our King'. They crept across the Entrance Hall and out into the silent, snowy grounds.
They set off at a quick march, crunching excitedly through the thickening snow until at last they reached the wooden front door. When Harry raised his fist and knocked three times, a dog started barking frantically inside.
"Hagrid, it's us!" Harry called through the keyhole.
"Shoulda known!" Said a gruff voice.
They beamed at each other under the Cloak, they could tell by Hagrid's voice that he was pleased. "Bin home three seconds...out the way, Fang...out the way, yeh dozy dog..."
The bolt was drawn back, the door creaked open and Hagrid's head appeared in the gap.
Hermione screamed.
"Merlin's beard, keep it down!" Said Hagrid hastily, staring wildly over their heads. "Under the Cloak, are yeh? Well, get in, get in!"
"I'm sorry!" Hermione gasped, as the four of them squeezed past Hagrid into the house and pulled the Cloak off themselves so he could see them. "I just - oh, Hagrid!"
"It's nuthin', it's nuthin'!" Said Hagrid hastily, shutting the door behind them and hurrying to close all the curtains, but Hermione continued to gaze up at him in horror.
Hagrid's hair was matted with congealed blood and his left eye had been reduced to a puffy slid amid a mass of purple and black bruising. There were many cuts on his face and hands, some of them still bleeding, and he was moving gingerly, which made Aurora suspect broken ribs.
It was obvious that he had only just got home. A thick black travelling cloak lay over the back of a chair and a haversack large enough to carry several small children leaned against the wall inside the door.
"Who're yeh?" He asked, pointing at Aurora. She suddenly realised her hair was still brown. "A new friend of yours, Harry?"
"No, rather an old friend." Harry smiled a little. "Hagrid, don't freak...but this is Aurora."
Hagrid frowned, leaning down to inspect Aurora's face closer. Aurora brushed through her hair and ran her fingers down her face, changing her appearance back to that of Aurora Black.
Hagrid jumped. The eye that wasn't squeezed shut teared up. "Ara?"
"Yes, it's really me, Hagrid." Aurora smiled.
Hagrid bent down and picked her up in a bear-hug although it did seem to hurt him because he winced a little. "I knew it!" He said. "I knew yeh were alive!"
Aurora laughed. "Can you, maybe, put me down now? I can't breathe."
"Oh, o' course." Hagrid placed her back on the ground.
Hagrid was going to ask something as he limped over to the fire and placing a copper kettle over it. But Harry was first.
"What happened to you?" Harry demanded, while Fang danced around them all, trying to lick their faces.
"Told yeh, nuthin'," said Hagrid firmly. "Want a cuppa?"
"No, I'd much rather know why you are in this state!" Aurora said.
"I'm tellin' yeh, I'm fine." Said Hagrid, straightening up and turning to beam at them all, but wincing. "Blimey, it's good ter see yeh four again - 'specially you, Ara."
"Hagrid, you've been attacked!" Said Ron.
"Fer the las' time, it's nuthin'!" Said Hagrid firmly.
"Would you say it was nothing if one of us turned up with a pound of mince instead of a face?" Ron demanded.
"You ought to go and see Madam Pomfrey, Hagrid." Said Hermione anxiously. "Some of those cuts look nasty."
"I'm dealin' with it, all righ'?" Said Hagrid repressively.
He walked across to the enormous wooden table that stood in the middle of his cabin and twitched aside a tea towel that had been lying on it. Underneath was a raw, bloody, green-tinged steak slightly larger than the average car tire.
"You're not going to eat that, are you, Hagrid?" Said Ron, leaning in for a closer look. "It looks poisonous."
"It's s'posed ter look like that, it's dragon meat." Hagrid said. "An' I didn't get it ter eat."
He picked up the steak and slapped it over the left side of his face. Greenish blood trickled down into his beard as he gave a soft moan of satisfaction.
"Tha's better. It helps with the stingin', yeh know."
"So, are you going to tell us what's happened to you?" Harry asked.
"Can't, Harry. Top secret. More'n me job's worth ter tell yeh that."
"Did the giants beat you up, Hagrid?" Asked Aurora quietly.
Hagrid's fingers slipped on the dragon steak and it slid squelchily on to his chest. "Giants?" Said Hagrid, catching the steak before it reached his belt and slapping it back over his face. "Who said anythin' abou' giants? Who yeh bin talkin' to? Who's told yeh what I've - who's said I've bin - eh?"
"We guessed." Said Hermione apologetically.
"Oh, yeh did, did yeh?" Said Hagrid, fixing her sternly with the eye that was not hidden by the steak.
"It was kind of...obvious." said Ron. Harry nodded.
Hagrid glared at them, then snorted, threw the steak back on to the table and strode over to the kettle, which was now whistling. "Never known kids like you four fer knowin' more'n yeh oughta." He muttered, splashing boiling water into four of his bucket-shaped mugs. "An' I'm not complimentin' yeh, neither. Nosy, some'd call it. Interferin'."
But his beard twitched.
"So you have been to look for giants?" Said Harry, grinning as he sat down at the table.
Hagrid set tea in front of each of them, sat down, picked up his steak again and slapped it back over his face.
"Yeah, all righ'." He grunted. "I have."
"And you found them?" Said Hermione in a hushed voice.
"Well, they're not that difficult ter find, ter be honest." Said Hagrid. "Pretty big, see."
"Where are they?" Said Ron.
"Mountains," said Hagrid unhelpfully.
"So why don't Muggles-?"
"They do," said Hagrid darkly. "On'y their deaths are always put down to mountaineerin accidents, aren't they?"
He adjusted the steak a little so that it covered the worst of the bruising.
"Come on, Hagrid, tell us what you've been up to!" Said Ron. "Tell us about being attacked by the giants and Harry can tell you about being attacked by the Dementors-"
Hagrid choked in his mug and dropped his steak at the same time, a large quantity of spit, tea and dragon blood was sprayed over the table as Hagrid coughed and spluttered and the steak slid, with a soft splat, on the floor.
"Whadda yeh mean, attacked by Dementors?" Growled Hagrid.
"Didn't you know?" Hermione asked him, wide-eyed.
"I don' know anythin' that's bin happenin' since I left. I was on a secret mission, wasn't I, didn' wan' owls followin' me all over the place - ruddy Dementors! Yeh're not serious?"
"Yeah, I am, they turned up in Little Whinging and attacked my cousin and me, and the the Ministry of Magic expelled me-"
"WHAT?"
"-and I had to go to a hearing and everything, but tell us about the giants first."
"You were expelled?"
"Tell us about your summer, Hagrid, and we'll tell you about ours." Aurora said. "Did you know I came back from the death. Truly fascinating story." She raised an eyebrow.
Hagrid glared at her through his one open eye. Aurora looked right back, an expression of innocent determination on her face.
"Oh, all righ'." Hagrid said in a resigned voice. He bent down and tugged the dragon steak out of Fang's mouth.
"Oh, Hagrid, don't, it's not hygien-" Hermione began, but Hagrid had already slapped the meat back over his swollen eye.
He took another fortifying gulp of tea, then, said, "Well, we set off righ' after term ended-"
"Madame Maxime went with you, then?" Hermione interjected.
"Yeah, tha's right." Said Hagrid, and a softened expression appeared on the few inches of face that were not obscured by beard or green steak
"Yeah, it was jus' the pair of us. An' I'll tell yeh this, she's not afraid of roughin' it, Olympe. Yeh know, she's a fine, well-dressed woman, an' knowin' where we was goin' I wondered 'ow she'd feel abou' clamberin' over boulders an' sleepin in caves an' tha', bu' she never complained once."
"You knew where you were going?" Harry asked. "You knew where the giants were?"
"Well, Dumbledore knew, an' he told us." Said Hagrid.
"Are they hidden?" Asked Ron. "Is it a secret, where they are?"
"Not really," said Hagrid, shaking his shaggy head. "Its jus' that mos' wizards aren' bothered where they are, 's'long as it's a good long way away. But where they are's very difficult ter get ter, fer humans anyway, so we needed Dumbledore's instructions. Took us abou' a month ter get there-"
"A month?" Said Ron, as though he had never heard of a journey lasting such a ridiculously long time. "But - why couldn't you just grab a Portkey or something?"
"Sometimes I really think magic makes you lazy." Aurora said, shaking her head, looking almost pitying at Ron. "Besides, Hagrid was probably being watched."
"What d'you mean?"
"The Ministry's keepin' an eye on Dumbledore an' anyone they reckon's in league with 'im, an'-" said Hagrid.
"That's why I had to change my appearance, Ronald. That's why I became Anastasia Romanova. Not just to avoid having to explain what happened but also so the Ministry won't pay as much attention to me." Aurora said and finally, after months, Ron seemed to understand.
"But...you couldn't use magic to get there?" Asked Ron, looking thunderstruck. "You had to act like Muggles all the way?"
"Well, not exactly all the way." Said Hagrid cagily. "We jus' had ter be careful, 'cause Olympe an' me, we stick out a bit-"
Ron made a stifled noise somewhere between a snort and a sniff and hastily took a gulp of tea.
"-so we're not hard ter follow. We was pretendin' we was goin' on holiday together, so we got inter France an' we made like we was headin' fer where Olympe's school is, 'cause we knew we was bein' tailed by someone from the Ministry. We had to go slow, 'cause I'm not really s'posed ter use magic an' we knew the Ministry'd be lookin' fer a reason ter run us in. But we managed ter give the berk tailin' us the slip round abou' Dee-John-"
"Ooooh, Dijon?" Said Hermione excitedly. "I've been there on holiday, did you see-?"
She fell silent at the look on Ron's face.
"We chanced a bit o' magic after that an' it wasn' a bad journey. Ran inter a couple o' mad trolls on the Polish border an' I had a sligh' disagreement with a vampire in a pub in Minsk, bu' apart from tha' couldn't'a bin smoother.
"An' then we reached the place, an' we started trekkin' up through the mountains, lookin' fer signs of 'em...
"We had ter lay off the magic once we got near 'em. Partly 'cause they don' like wizards an' we didn' want ter put their backs up too soon, an' partly 'cause Dumbledore had warned is You-Know-Who was bound ter be after the giants an' all. Said it was odds on he'd sent a messener off ter them already. Told us ter be very careful of drawin' attention ter ourselves as we got nearer in case there was Death Eaters around."
Hagrid paused for a long draught of tea.
"Go on!" Said Harry urgentlt.
"Found 'em," said Hagrid baldly. "Went over a ridge one nigh' an' there they was, spread ou' underneath us. Lottle fires burnin' below an' huge shadows...it was like watchin' bits o' mountain movin'."
"How big are they?" Asked Ron in a hushed voice.
" 'bout twenty feet." Said Hagrid casually. "Some o' the bigger ones mighta bin twenty-five."
"And how many were there?" Asked Harry.
"I reckon abou' seventy or eighty." Said Hagrid.
"Is that all?" Said Hermione.
"Yes," said Hagrid sadly, "eighty left, an' there was loads once, musta bin a hundred diff'rent tribes from all over the world. Bu' they've bin dyin' out fer ages. Wizards killed a few, o' course, bu' mostly they killed each other, an' now they're dying out faster than ever. They're not made ter live bunched up together like tha'. Dumbledore says it's our fault, it was the wizards who forced 'em to go an' made 'em live a good long way fron us an' they had no choice bu' ter stick together fer their own protection."
"So," said Aurora, "you saw them and then what?"
"Well, we waited till morning, didn' want ter go sneakin' up on 'em in the dark, fer our own safety." Said Hagrid. " 'Bout three in the mornin' they fell asleep jus' where they was sittin'. We didn't dare sleep. Fer one thing, we wanted ter make sure none of 'em woke up an' came up where we were, an' fer another, the snorin' was unbelievable. Caused an avalanche near mornin'."
"Anyway, once it was light we wen' down ter see 'em."
"Just like that?" Said Ron, looking awestruck. "You just walked right into a giant camp?"
"Well, Dumbledore'd told us how ter do it." Said Hagrid. "Give the Gurg gifts, show some respect, you know."
"Give the what gifts?" Asked Harry.
"Oh, the Gurg - means the chief."
"How could you tell which one was the Gurg?" Asked Ron.
Hagrid grunted in amusement. "No problem," he said. "He was the biggest, the ugliest an' the laziest. Sittin' there waitin' ter be brought food by the others. Dead goats an' such likr. Name o' Karkus. I'd put him at twenty-two, twenty-three feet an' weight o' a couple o' bull elephants. Skin like rhino hide an' all."
"And you just walked up to him?" Said Hermione breathlessly.
"Well...down ter him, where he was lyin' in the valley. They was in this dip between four pretty high mountains, see, beside a mountain lake, an' Karkus was lyin' by the lake roarin' at the others ter feed him an' his wife. Olympe an' I went down the mountainside-"
"But didn't they try and kill you when they saw you?" Asked Ron incredulously.
"It was def'nitely on some o' their minds." Said Hagrid, shrugging, "but we did what Dumbledore told us ter do, which was ter hold our gift up high an' keep our eyes on the Gurg an' ignore the others. So tha's what we did. An' the rest of 'em went quiet an' watched us pass an' we got right up ter Karkus's feet an' we bowed an' put our present down in front o' him."
"What do you give a giant?" Asked Ron eagerly. "Food?"
"Nah, he can get food all righ' fer himself." Said Hagrid. "We took him magic. Giants like magic, jus' don' like us usin' it against 'em. Anyway, that firs' day we gave 'im a branch o' Gubraithian fire."
Hermione said. "Wow!" softly, but Harry and Ron both frowned in puzzlement.
"A branch of-?"
"Everlasting fire," said Hermione irritably. "You ought to know that by now. Professor Flitwick's mentioned it at least twice in class!"
"Merlin's beard, twice...how could we not have known?" Aurora rolled her eyes.
"Well, anyway," said Hagrid quickly, intervening before Hermione could answer back. "Dumbledore'd bewitched this branch to burn fer evermore, which isn' somethin' any wizard could do, an' so I lies it down in the snow by Karkus's feet and says, 'A gift for the Gurg of the giants from Albus Dumbledore, who sends his respectful greetings.' "
"And with that Karkus say?" Asked Harry eagerly.
"Nothin'," said Hagrid. "Didn' speak English."
"You're kidding!"
"Is it so hard to understand that there are people in this world who don't speak English?" Aurora said annoyed.
"Didn' matter," said Hagrid imperturbably, "Dumbledore had warned us tha' migh' happen. Karkus knew enough to yell fer a couple o' giants who knew our lingo an' they translated fer us."
"And did he like the present?" Asked Ron.
"Oh yeah, it went down a storm once they understood what it was." Said Hagrid, "Very pleased. So then I said, 'Albus Dumbledore asks the Gurg to speak with his messenger when he returns tomorrow with another gift.' "
"Why couldn't you speak to them that day?" Asked Hermione.
"Dumbledore wanted us ter take it very slow." Said Hagrid, "Let 'em see we kept our promises. We'll come back tomorriw with another present, An' then we do comr back with another present - gives a good impression, see? An' gives them time ter test out the firs' present an' find out it's a good one, an' get 'em eager fer more. In any case, giants like Karkus - overload em with information an' they'll kill yeh jus' to simplify things. So we bowed outta the way an' went off an' found ourselves a nice little cave ter spend the nighy in an' the following morbin' we went back an' this time we found Karkus sittin' up waitin' fer us lookin' all eager."
"And you talked to him?"
"Oh yeah. Firs' we presented him with a nice battle helmet - goblin-made an' indestructible, yeh know - an' then we sat doen an we talkee."
"What did he say?"
"Not much," said Hagrid. "Listened mostly. Bu' there were good signs. He'd heard o' Dumbledore, heard he'd argued against the killing o' thr last giants in Britain. Karkus seemed ter be quite int'rested in what Dumbledore had ter say. An' a few o' the others, 'specially the ones who had some English, they gathered round an' listened too. We were hopeful when we left that day. Promised ter come back next mornin' with another present.
"Bu' that night it all wen' wrong."
"What d'you mean?" Said Ron quickly.
"Well, like I say, they're not meant ter live together, giants." Said Hagrid sadly. "Not in big groups like that. They can't help themselves, they half kill each other, the temnants of the old tribes fighting each other, an' that's even without squabbles over food an' the best fires an' sleepin' spots. Yeh'd think, seein' as how their whole race is abou' finished, they'd lay off each other, bu'...."
Hagrid sighed deeply.
"That night a fight broke out, we saw it from the mouth of our cave, lookin' down on the valley. Went on fer hours, yeh wouldn' believe the noise. An' when the sun came up the snow was scarlet an' his head was lyin' at the bottom o' the lake."
"Whose head?" Gasped Hermione.
"Karkus's," said Hagrid heavily. "There was a new Gurg, Golgomath." He sighed deeply. "Well, we hadn' bargained ona new Gurg two days after we'd made friendly contact with the firs' on, an we had a funny feelin' Golgomath wouldn' be so keen ter listen to us, bu' we had ter try."
"You went to speak to him?" Asked Ron incredulously. "After you'd watched him rip off another giant's head?"
"Course we did," said Hagrid. "We hadn' gone all that way ter give up after two days! We wen' down with the next present we'd meant ter give ter Karkus
"I knew it was a no go before I'd opened me mouth. He was sitting there wearin' Karkue's helmet, leering at us as we got nearer. He's massive, one o' the biggest ones there. Black hair an' matchin' teeth an' a necklace o' bones. Human-lookin' bones, some of 'em. Well, I gave it a go - held out a great roll o' dragon skin - an' said, 'A gift fer the Gurg of the giants -' Nex' thing I knew, I was hangin' upside-down in the air by me feer, two of his mates had grabbed me."
"How did you get out of that?" Asked Harry.
"Wouldn'ta done if Olympe hadn' bin there." Said Hagrid. "She pulled out her wand an' did some o' the fastes' spellwork I've ever seen. Ruddy marvellous. Hit the two holdin' me right in the eye with Conjunctivitus Curses an' they dropped me straightaway - bu' we were in trouble then, 'cause we'd used magic against 'em, an' that's what giants hate abou' wizards. We had ter leg it an' we knew there was no way we was going ter be able ter march inter the camp again."
"Blimey, Hagrid." Said Ron quietly.
"So, how come it's taken you so long to get home if you were only there for three days?" Asked Hermione.
"We didn' leave after three days!" Said Hagrid, looking outraged. "Dumbledore was relyin' on us!"
"But you've just said there was no way you could go back!"
"Not by daylight we couldn', no. We just had ter rethink a bit. Spent a couple o' days lyin' low up in the cave an' watchin'. An' wha' we saw wasn' good."
"Did he rip off more heads?" Asked Aurora, looking disgusted.
"No," said Hagrid. "I wish he had."
"What d'you mean?"
"I mean we soon found out he didn' object ter all wizards - just us."
"Death Eaters?" Said Harry quickly.
"Yep," said Hagrid darkly. "Couple of 'em were visitin' him ev'ry day, bringin' gifts ter the Gurg, an' he wasn' dangling them upside-down."
"How d'you know they were Death Eaters?" Said Ron.
"Because I recognised one of 'em." Hagrid growled. "Macnair, remember him? Bloke they sent ter kill Buckbeak? Maniac, he is. Likes killin' as much as Golgomath. No wonder they were gettin' on so well."
"So Macnair's persuaded the giants to join You-Know-Who?" Said Hermione desperately.
"Hold yer Hippogriffs, I haven' finished me story yet!" Said Hagrid indignantly, who, considering he had not wanted to tell them anything in the first place, now seemed to be rather enjoying himself. "Me an' Olympe talked it over an we agreed, jus' cause the Gurg looked like favourin' You-Know-Who didn' mean all of 'em would. We had ter try an' persuade some o' the others, the ones who hadn't wanted Golgomath as Gurg."
"How could you tell which ones they were?" Asked Ron.
"Well, they were the ones bein' beaten to pulp, weren' they?" Said Hagrid patiently. "The ones with any sense were keepin' outta Golgomath's way, hidin' out in caves roun' the gully jus' like we were. So we decided we'd go pokin' round the caves by night an' see if we couldn' persuade a few o' them."
"You went poking around dark caves looking for giants?" Said Ron with awed respect in his voice.
"Well, it wasn' the giants who worried us most," said Hagrid. "We were more concerned abou' the Death Eaters. Dumbledore had told us before we wen' not ter tangle with 'em if we could avoid it, an' the trouble was they knew we was around - 'spect Golgomath told 'em abou' us. At night, when the giants were sleepin' an' we wanted ter be creepin' inter caves, Macnair an' the other one were sneakin' round the mountains lookin' fer us. It was hard put to stop Olympe jumpin' out at 'em," said Hagrid, the corners of his mouth lifting his wild beard. "She was rarin' ter attack 'en...she's somethin' when she's roused, Olympe...fiery, yeh know... 'spect it's the French in her..."
Hagrid gazed misty-eyed into the fire. Aurora and Hermione shared a look at Hagrid's words, both smirking.
Harry cleared his throat loudly. "So, what happened? Did you ever get near any of the other giants?"
"What? Oh...oh, yeah, we did. Yeah, on the third night after Karkus was killed we crept outta the cave we'd bin hidin in an' headed back down inter the gully, keepin' our eyes skinned fer the Death Eaters. Got inside a few o' the caves, no go - then, in abou' the sixth one, we found three giants hidin'."
"Cave must've been cramped." Said Ron.
"Wasn' room ter swing a Kneazle." Said Hagrid.
"Didn't they attack you when they saw you?" Asked Hermione.
"Probably woulda done if they'd bin in any condition." Said Hagrid, "but they was badly hurt, all three o' them. Golgomath's lot had beaten 'em unconscious. They'd woken up an' crawled inter the nearest shelter they could find. Anyway, one o' them had a bit of English an' 'e translated fer the others, an' what we had ter say didn' seem ter go down too badly. So we kep' goin' back, visitin' the wounded...I reckon we had abou' dix or seven o' them convinced at one point."
"Six or seven?" Said Ron eagerly. "Well that's not bad - are they going to come over here and start fighting You-Know-Who with us?"
But Hermione said, "What do you mean 'at one point', Hagrid?"
Hagrid looked at her sadly. "Golgomath's lot raided the caves. The ones tha' survived didn' wan' no more ter do with us after that."
"So...so there aren't any giants coming?" Said Ron, looking disappointed.
"Nope," said Hagrid, heaving a deep sigh as he turned over his steak and applied the cooler side to his face. "But we did wha' we meant ter do, we gave 'em Dumbledore's message an some o' them heard it an' I 'spect some o' them'll remember it. Jus' maybe, them that don' want ter stay around Golgomath'll move outta the mountains, an' there's gotta be a chance they'll remember Dumbledore's friendly to 'em...could be they'll come."
Snow was filling the window now. Aurora became aware that the knees of her robes were soaked through: Fang was drooling with his head on Aurora's lap. Aurora sighed and laid her head on Harry's shoulder, not being able to stiffle a yawn. Harry kissed the side of her head.
"Hagrid?" Said Hermione quietly after a while.
"Mmm?"
"Did you...was there any sign of...did you hear anything about your...your...mother while you were there?" Hagrid's unobscured eye rested upo her and Hermione looked rather scared. "I'm sorry...I...forget it-"
"Dead?" Hagrid grunted. "Died years ago. They told me."
"Oh...I'm...I'm really sorry." Said Hermione in a very small voice.
Hagrid shrugged his massive shoulders. "No need," he said shortly. "Can't remember her much. Wasn' a great mother."
They were silent again. Hermione glanced nervously at Aurora, Harry and Ron, plainly wanting them to speak.
"But you still haven't explained how you got in this state, Hagrid." Aurora said, gesturing towards Hagrid's bloodstained face.
"Or why you're back so late." Said Harry. "Sirius says Madame Maxime got back ages ago-"
"Who attacked you?" Said Ron
"I haven' bin attacked!" Said Hagrid emphatically. "I-"
But the rest of his words were drowned in a sudden outbreak of rapping on the door. Hermione gasped. Her mug slipped through her fingers and smashed on the floor. Fang yelped. All five of them stared at the window beside the doorway. The shadow of somebody small and squat rippled across the thin curtain.
"It's her!" Ron whispered.
"Get under here!" Harry said quickly. Seizing the Invisibility Cloak, he whirled it over himself, Aurora and Hermione while Ron tore around the table and dived under the Cloak as well. Huddled together, they backed away into a corner. Fang was barking madly at the door. Hagrid looked thoroughly confused.
"Hagrid, hide our mugs!"
Hagrid seized Aurora, Harry and Ron's mugs and shoved them under the cushion in Fang's basket. Fang was now leaping up at the door. Hagrid pushed him out of the way with his foot and pulled it open.
Professor Umbridge was standing in the doorway wearing her green tweed cloak and a matching hat with earflaps. Lips pursed, she leaned back so as to see Hagrid's face. She barely reached his navel.
"So," she said slowly and loudly, as though speaking to somebody deaf. "You're Hagrid, are you?"
Without waiting for an answer she strolled into the room, her bulging eyes rolling in every direction.
"Get away," she snapped, waving her handbag at Fang, who had bounded up to her and was attempting to lick her face.
"Er - I don' want ter be rude." Said Hagrid, staring at her, "but who the ruddy hell are you?"
"My name is Dolores Umbridge."
"Dolores Umbridge?" Hagrid said, sounding thoroughly confused. "I thought you were one o' them Ministry - don' you work with Fudge?"
"I was Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, yes." Said Umbridge, now pacing around the cabin, taking in every tiny detail within, from the haversack against the wall to the abandoned travelling cloak. "I am now the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher-"
"Tha's brave of yeh," said Hagrid. "There's not many'd take tha' job any more."
"-and Hogwarts High Inquisitor." Said Umbridge, giving no sign that she had heard him.
"Wha's that?" Said Hagrid, frowning.
"Precisely what I was going to ask." Said Umbridge, pointing at the broken shards of china on the floor that had been Hermione's mug.
"Oh," said Hagrid, with a most unhelpful glance towards the corner where Aurora, Harry, Ron and Hermione stood hidden. "Oh, tha' was...was Fang. He broke a mug. So I had ter use this one instead."
Hagrid pointed to the mug from which he had been drinking. Umbridge stood facing him now, taking in every detail of his appearance instead of the cabin's.
"I heard voices." She said quietly.
"I was talkin' ter Fang." Said Hagrid stoutly.
"And he was talking back to you?"
"Well...in a manner o' speakin'," said Hagrid, looking uncomfortable. "I sometimes say Fang's near enough human-"
"There are four sets of footprints in the snow leading from the castle doors to your cabin." Said Umbridge sleekly.
Hermione gasped. Harry clasped a hand over her mouth. Luckily, Fang was sniffing loudly around the hem of Umbridge's robes and she did not appear to have heard.
"Well, I on'y jus' got back." Said Hagrid, waving an enormous hand at the haversack. "Maybe someone came ter call earlier an' I missed 'em."
"There are no footsteps leading away from your cabin door."
"Well, I...I don' know why that'd be..." said Hagrid, tugging nergously at his beard and again glancing towards the corner where Aurora, Harry, Ron and Hermione stood, as though asking for help. "Erm..."
Umbridge wheeled round and strode the length of the cabin, looking around carefully. She bent and peered under the bed. She opened Hagrid's cupboards. She passed within two inches of where the children stood pressed against the wall. After looking carefully inside the enormous cauldron Hagrid used for cooking, she wheeled round again and said, "What has happened to you? How did you sustain those injuries?"
"Oh, I...had a bit of an accident." He said lamely.
"What sort of accident?"
"I-I tripped."
"You tripped?" She repeated coolly.
"Yeah, tha's right. Over...over a friend's broomstick. I don't fly, meself. Well, look at the size o' me, I don' reckon there's a broomstick that'd hold me. Friend o' mine breeds Abraxan horses, I dunno if you've ever seen 'em, big beasts, winged, yeh know, I've had a bit of a ride on one o' them an' it was-"
"Where have you been?" Asked Umbridge, cutting coolly through Hagrid's babbling.
"Where've I-?"
"Been, yes," she said. "Term started two months ago. Another teacher has had to cover your classes. None of your colleagues has been able to give me any information as to your whereabouts. You left no adress. Where have you been?"
There was a pause in which Hagrid stared at her. "I-I've been away for me health." He said.
"For your health." Said Professor Umbridge. Her eyes travelled over Hagrid's discoloured and swollen face. "I see."
"Yeah," said Hagrid, "but o' - o' fresh air, yeh know-"
"Yes, as gamekeeper fresh air must be so difficult to come by." Said Umbridge sweetly. The small patch of Hagrid's face that was not black or purple, flushed.
"Well - change o' scene, yeh know-"
"Mountain scenery?" Said Umbridge swiftly.
She knows, Aurora mouthed to Harry and he nodded. He grabbed her hand and squeezed.
"Mountains?" Hagrid repeated, clearly thinking fast. "Nope, South o' France fer me. Bit o' sun an'...an' sea."
"Really?" Said Umbridge. "You don't have much of a tan."
"Yeah...well...sensitive skin." Said Hagrid, attempting an ingratiating smile. Aurora noticed two of his teeth had been knocked out. Umbridge looked at him coldly. His smile faltered. Then she hoisted her handbag a little higher into the crook of her arm and said, "I shall, of course, be informing the Minister of your late return."
"Righ'." Said Hagrid, nodding.
"You ought to know, too, that as High Inquisitor it is my unfortunate but necessary duty to inspect my fellow teschers. So I daresay we shall meet again soon enough." She turned sharply and marched back to the door.
"You're inspectin' us?" Hagrid echoed blankly, looking after her.
"Oh, yes," said Umbridge softly, looking back at him with her hand on the door handle. "The Ministry is determined to weed out unsatisfactory teachers, Hagrid. Goodnight."
She left, closing the door behind her with a snap.
They waited a few minutes before pulling off the Invisibility Cloak.
"Blimey...inspectin' people, is she?" Hagrid said when he told them she was going back to the castle.
"Yes," said Harry. "Trelawney's on probation already..."
"Um...what sort of thing are you planning to do with us in class, Hagrid?" Asked Hermione.
"Oh, don' you worry abou' that, I've got a great load o' lessons planned." Said Hagrid enthusiastically. "I've bin keepin a couple o' creatures saved fer yer O.W.L year. You wait, they're somethin' special."
"Erm...special in what way?" Asked Hermione tentatively.
"I'm not sayin'." Said Hagrid happily. "I don' want ter spoil the surprise."
"Look, Hagrid," said Hermione urgently, dropping all pretence. "Professor Umbridge won't be at all happy if you bring anything to class that's too dangerous."
"Dangerous?" Said Hagrid, looking genially bemused. "Don' be silly, I wouldn' give yeh anythin' dangerous! I mean, all righ', they can look after themselves-"
"Hagrid, you've got to pass Umbridge's inspection, and to do that it would really be better if she saw you teaching us how to look after Porlocks, how to tell the difference between Knarls and hedgehogs, stuff like that!" Said Hermione earnestly.
"But tha's not very interestin', Hermione." Said Hagrid. "The stuff I've got's much more impressive. I've bin bringin' 'em on fer years, I reckon I've got the on'y domestic herd in Britain."
"Hagrid...please..." said Hermione, a note of real desperation in her voice. "Umbridge is looking for any excuse to get rid of teachers she thinks are too close to Dumbledore. Please, Hagrid, teach us something dull that's bound to come up in our O.W.L."
But Hagrid merely yawned widely and cast a one-eyed look of longing towards the vast bed in the corner. "Lis'en, it's bin a long day an' it's late." He said, patting Hermione gently on the shoulder, so that her knees gave way and hit the floor with a thud. "Oh - sorry-" He pulled her back up by the neck of her robes. "Look, don' you go worryin' abou' me, I promise yeh I've got really good stuff planned fer yeh lessons now I'm back...now you lot had better get back up to the castle, an' don' forget ter wipe yer footprints out behind yeh!"
"I dunno if you got through to him." Said Ron a short while later when, having checked that the coast was clear, they walked back up to the castle through the thickening snow, leaving no trace behind them due to the Obliteration Charm Hermione was performing as they went.
"Then I'll go back again tomorrow." Said Hermione determinedly. "I'll plan his lessons for him if I have to. I don't care if she throws out Trelawney but she's not getting rid of Hagrid!"