I have these little rants inside my head quite often. It stems from me imagining myself in a situation, and when I imagine myself in that situation, I think the of arguments and what I'm going to say. I just got out of school and I noticed something my brother did. I told him about it, and said I thought it was wrong. I told my grandma too. He got mad, she didn't say anything. It was then that I thought of a situation where I beat him up. It's not the greatest I know, but I started thinking about how it would make headlines and then I thought about defending myself as to why I did it. So I ranted in my head. I don't often remember these rants but today I decided to write one down, here's what I remember:
I started talking about how he's like my father, does whatever he wants. (I was telling this to a reporter) He gets away with things because that's the normal for my family. No one cares about what he does until he commits something big. He's stolen, charged over $600 on my mothers credit card, and other things. But it's really the little things. The constant hitting, making noises, not having self-control. He practices these at home and it carries on out in public. I watched him one day while going to my rehearsal. He had a small backpack, and he kept hitting this girl we know. She kept saying stop, but he wouldn't stop, he just kept doing it. And today, I saw him belittle someone else to try and make him not do something. This scares me, because I can't think of the things he will do when he's older. My mother allows a lot of these similar behaviors to happen. I told her about it and she told me she's trying. But what does that mean? Clearly something is not working. My brother and I are opposites. He's racist, misogynist, ableist, homophobic. Everything I stand against. It's hard to live with someone who won't listen, who only cares about himself. Who will go out of his way to to make me angry. My family keeps saying to me: "oh my little liberal, free-soul, on-the-whim gal". But is it so bad that we can't be nice to each other?? That we have to call someone something so their behavior is explained?
Idk
I wish the world was different