Things had changed. Not dramatically so but since the night Ally had run from the hidden hut at the bottom of the herb garden, things had been different for Alice, at least in her head.
Not that she let on to anyone though. She still went to weapon training, still went about her daily chores and still let Lewis tell her that she was important, that she was going to be a leader. But she didn't believe it anymore. She quickly learnt to hide that though, it wouldn't do well to slip out of favour with him or the other elders. Despite her perceived mishap that night, Lewis still seemed to worship the ground she walked on, showering her with praise and visiting her bedroom at night. And she let him, all the while thinking and wondering of what would happen if she or Abby were to fall ill.
Abby was older now, and spending more and more time away from Alice, which she didn't mind so much. What she did mind was how much time she was spending with Rebecca, Lewis and Marnie when Ally wasn't in the house. Initially it hadn't bothered her. She and Abby had never had a strong relationship, and Alice had been grateful that she could easily palm her off. But now, all she could think was that Abby was being brainwashed too, the same way she'd been. But there was very little she could do about it. Abby adored Lewis and Marnie, and Rebecca was a firm favourite. All three seemed able to give her what Ally was unable to; unconditional love and attention. Alice wasn't able to, she'd never been able to connect with her, and she'd tired of her easily.
Which complicated things immensely for Alice. She'd been working on a way out of her situation, carefully calculating things and making plans. When Charlie and Eric, or some of the other elders went out into the woods, she'd always ask to accompany them. She wasn't allowed into any of the towns, Lewis wouldn't permit that, but she was allowed out on wood runs, and to help patrol the walls and fences, to help fix and mend any weaknesses providing she was accompanied.
She was mentally filing away the lay of land immediately outside of the compound, keeping note of any areas of the wall that she could possibly scale or slip through. She spent time in Lewis's office, memorising the rota that was set up for the night shift security and she wheedled information out of Charlie over many months, about how far away from the nearest town they were. Not that far as the crow flew it turned out, it just took longer by car or truck because of the terrain. He estimated about twenty miles.
Lewis had maps in his office, of the compound and the surrounding area in the park and over a number of weeks, Alice would sneak in, copying the map meticulously piece by piece folding up the four pages she had numbered carefully and keeping it stuffed inside of her sock at all time during the day and hiding it under a loose floorboard in her room at night. Under her bed and pressed against the wall was a backpack, hidden by stacks of books she'd been slowly pilfering from the school room. The back pack contained a stack of Polaroids she'd taken during her first few years, when she happy and ignorant, the camera belonging to Marnie. It also contained three bottles of water, crackers and nuts, and importantly a flash light and compass that she'd stolen.
She had a plan. One that was complicated by Abby, something she still didn't know how to deal with. She'd figure it out though, when the time came.
The time came just over a year after the incident in the hut. Lewis had been telling her for months that the next one was up to her, she had to learn sooner or later. Alice just nodded and smiled at him, thinking that she'd be out of there before that time came. She was planning on leaving during the next full moon, thinking that the light from the sky would help guide her and save her battery usage on the torch.
Before the full moon came though, Alice was called for again, this time by Eric. At this point she'd been at the compound for four years and five months, celebrating her twentieth birthday only two months before.
"Alice, I need you to come with me. Duty calls." he poked his head into Abby's room, she slept in the main house rather than the dormitories that housed the other children. Of course she did, she was special. Her room was between Lewis's and Alice's. Alice was tucking her into bed when Eric interrupted them.
"What? No one told me." Ally met Eric's gaze, scowling at him.
"A decision was made at the meeting this evening. You weren't there, but it's time. I need you to come with me."
Alice hadn't even known there was a meeting tonight, it wasn't part of the routine. She looked over to Abby who was snuggling into her comforter.
"Eric can't it wait? I'm busy."
Marnie strode around his body, pushing into the room and sitting on the end of the small bed. She patted Alice's hand.
"You go, sweet pea. I'll finish here. And remember, you're strong. This will be your job."
Ally blinked a few times, accepting that there was no way out of this and very slowly following Eric out of the house and down past the herb garden.
When they entered the hut, there was only Lewis and Oliver there. And a body on the floor, tied up with a sack over the head. It was barely breathing but whoever it was, was still alive. Just. Alice tried to mentally run through the list of residents who'd been missing over the past weeks, months even. There were only two that had been taken to the infirmary who hadn't returned yet. Katie and Michael. Katie was a 16 year old girl, she'd come to the compound with her parents when she was six. And Michael had joined after Alice and Rebecca had. Neither had been seen for a while. Alice studied the body, it was clearly female, gaunt arms with open sores covering them, and sallow skin. But she could make out the curve of breasts and hips underneath the clothing.
"Katie... " she whispered, her breath shaking.
"We thought this would be easier if you couldn't see her. She's beyond our help, Oliver had diagnosed her a while ago as being HIV positive, but now it's progressed. She must have come to us that way. Her parents have already been reprimanded for inflicting such a sickly human upon this group, God only knows what could have happened if she'd infected one of us."
Hearing the disdain and disgust in Lewis's voice made Alice feel sick.
Oliver spoke "Her symptoms started to a few years ago, but we didn't know what it was. And then we had complaints from a blood buyer...." he trailed off as Lewis shot him a look.
Blood buyer?
"Her time has come Alice, she's barely alive as it is. Pneumonia has infected her body, her immune system obliterated by the HIV. Her time is here and so is yours." Lewis held out the same gun that he'd presented to her over a year ago and she gingerly took it.
Katie's body began to tremble on the floor, jerking slightly.
"Think of it as putting her out of her misery. She's in pain, a lot of discomfort. Even conventional medicine wouldn't be able to treat her now, she's too far gone. If you don't do this, she'll continue to suffer."
Alice gulped, looking at the girl who she used to groom the horses with, the girl who was so quiet and shy and would turn red if anyone complimented her. She WAS suffering. And Lewis and Oliver had made sure to leave it long enough so that she wouldn't survive either way, knowing that the guilt of Katie's suffering would force Alice's hand.
Tears leaking down her face, she held out the gun, her finger over the trigger.
Her arm started to shake, barely holding it straight as she squinted trying to make sure she would get a head shot, the quickest and most painless way out for poor Katie.
"I.... I can't.... " she whispered, her words quivering.
"Yes Alice, you can." Lewis was calm and commanding, moving to stand next to her.
"No... Look.... I can't." she could barely grip the gun she was shaking that much. Lewis stepped closer and placed his hand over hers, steadying her; his finger covering hers on the trigger.
"Ally, you're a leader. This will be your job. You will lead and you will make these decisions. It's the only way the group will survive."
Alice had stopped believing this months ago, there were too many contradictions and there was no way any of it could be real. She'd been sucked in, sucked into to a group full of people who had accepted this man's delusions as she once had. And now she being used to kill someone.
"On three Alice."
She closed her eyes.
"One."
She took a deep breath, her eyes screwed shut, feeling his finger forcing hers backwards.
"Two"
He squeezed her hand, drawing her finger all the way back, the gun firing once as a sob burst through Alice's chest.
"Three. "