R
I open my eyes and look around a little. I feel drained and weak but better than I have been. At least everything is pretty clear and not fuzzy or through a cloud of whatever. I hear this obnoxious noise next to me and turn my head. I find Nalak sprawled out in the bed beside me, his mouth wide open and snoring. I frown at him and decide to try and get up, maybe take a shower. If it's been as long as I'm thinking it has then I really need one... I turn to Nalak though and reach out to him, shaking his shoulder.
"Nalak... Nalak."
"Huh? What?! What's up?" he yells, springing awake.
He looks over at me and sighs, putting his hand over his heart.
"You gave me a heart attack."
"Aren't you dead?"
"No, we went over this... How you feeling?"
"Slow and heavy but other than that, I'm alright."
"Good. You scared me for a second."
"Why are you in my bed?"
"I got tired of sleeping on the couch. It was hurting me. Don't worry, I didn't try anything while you were sleeping."
"Thanks, that makes me feel better." I say with a frown.
He smiles. "Well, if you're well enough, would you mind taking a bath? You stink."
"I thought as much. How long have I been incapacitated?"
"About a week and a half. You were kind of coherent and kind of not but I wasn't going to bathe you due to personal reasons as well as privacy."
"Thanks... What happened, by the way? I mean, one minute I'm okay and the next I was in Dreamland."
"Your dad suspected it had to do with your swell."
"I don't have swells anymore. Thanks for reminding me."
"No, you do still have them. It's just that it's not good for you anymore. Dr. White said that since you still have other parts, the radiation was trying to give you a swell but your body knew that you didn't have a uterus anymore and technically rejected the radiation's attempts. Since the radiation was trying to make something that couldn't be done, your body thought it was a virus or something and so it started using every available bodily defense it could. The fever to burn it out, stomach issues, other stuff..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah. So Dr. White made a serum for you to block the radiation from going to your tubes... There's only one problem though."
"What's that?"
"It pushes the radiation into your blood stream and makes your blood be ten times more appealing."
I scoot over a little. "Then... how are you right here?"
"You stink so bad I can't smell your blood."
"Wow... that is insulting."
"Your stench is insulting. Please take a shower."
"Fine, fine..."
I slip out of bed and stand up, swaying a bit. I feel like I haven't walked in years but I finally get my bearings and a towel to wash off.
*****************
I turn the water on and begin to wash my body. I look down at my stomach and see a small bruise there. I frown at that, wondering what it is because it's sore when I hear this thud on the door. I jump at it and pull the shower curtain back a little bit.
"H-hello?"
"It's just me..." I hear Nalak say.
I sigh. "You gave me a heart attack."
"Tell me not to come in."
"Huh?"
"Make me not to come in the bathroom, R." he says harshly.
I just stare at the door, not really understanding what he's asking me to do.
"Nalak, what are you talking-"
"ORDER ME NOT TO COME IN!" he screams at me.
"I- I order you not to come into the bathroom."
I don't hear anything and I just stare at the door.
"Thank you." I hear him say.
"What's your deal?"
"You don't know how close I was to opening this door and going after you. You must have washed off whatever grime you had on you and the scent of your blood is freely floating about. The steam doesn't help because all it does is dissipate the smell even further. You don't know how hard it was for me not to open the door."
"Oh... why didn't you just say that?"
"Because it took all the strength I had to ask you to make me not come in. I'm still having issues but... God, R, you smell so delicious."
"I don't know if I should accept that as a compliment or not." I say, beginning to wash myself. "What are these bruises on my stomach?"
"It's where I gave you the serum Dr. White made for you. It has to be injected into your stomach because that's where the problem is. It deflects the radiation from there."
"Oh, I see."
"I want you, R."
"No."
"Please let me in... Please let me taste you..."
"Nope."
"It hurts."
"Then go away."
"I can't... your blood is like an explosion of desserts right at my face. God, Ramey, you're like a bakery."
"I'm still not sure how I should take that metaphor." I say, continuing to wash. "Isn't there something I can use so that you can't smell me?"
"There is but I told Dr. White I'd rather suffer than deal with what she had."
"What was it?"
"Lavender... Those purple flowers that were in my room at my house were lavenders. She said they can block smells or cause taste issues. Remember when I licked your face that one day and I said you tasted disgusting?"
"Yeah?"
"You said your face wash had lavender in it."
"Well why would you suffer rather than take the lavender stuff?"
"I'd rather suffer than not be able to smell you. To not be able to locate you makes me think of my parents... I don't want anything to happen to you and I not know what to expect."
I finish washing and pull the shower curtain back, grabbing a towel. I open the door and find Nalak on the ground with his back to the door. He looks up and suddenly looks like shit.
"Geez, what happened to you?"
"Addiction is bad, R; don't ever get addicted to something you can't have."
I smile as I step over him and go to put my clothes on.
I get my underwear and another pair of shorts on when I feel Nalak touching my back. I turn as he looks at me, his eyes burning bright blue but also full of sadness.
"I don't want to hurt you, R..." he whispers.
Suddenly he grabs me by the throat and slams me against the wall, getting close to my face, sniffing me.
"But you're too delicious for me to just pass by. Give me a little taste, Ramey. I won't hurt you... I'll make sure you enjoy it as much as I do."
"Nalak, get the fuck off of me. Now." I demand.
Nalak lets go of my neck and steps back as I glare at him.
"Don't fucking touch me." I snarl.
Nalak nods, although he is still stalking me like a predator does its prey. He walks back and forth in front of me, pacing and his eyes glowing as he watches me put the rest of my clothing on. When I get done, he watches me even more.
"I think I need to stay in here until the serum is over." He says, watching me with sadness but also hunger.
The more he stares at me, the more he watches me, the more his eyes begin to glow brightly. For the first time, I am truly afraid of him.
"I think it would be best if you stayed in the room too. Do I need to keep you from going out the door?"
"No but you need to let me get back into the bathroom. I can't touch you so it doesn't matter anymore where you are." He says a little venomously.
I stare at him. "Are you mad at me?"
"No. I'm mad at myself. I thought I'd be strong enough to handle it and what do I do? I try to attack you and made you angry."
I smile at him. "You're allowed to go into the bathroom now."
"Thanks... I guess I'll just hang out in here. Do you know how to take the serum?"
"No."
"You have to inject it into your stomach; about 3ccs of it every twelve hours. You're about two and a half days away from finishing it." He looks behind me. "You'll need to inject yourself at 12:00."
"Okay... I mean, will you be alright?"
"I'll endure. I chose this."
I feel bad and reach out to pat him on the shoulder but he steps back.
"Don't... just... don't..."
I nod and go out of the room.
********************
I'm starving so I go into the kitchen to try and make something but I look in the fridge and see nothing for me to eat. I guess I'll have to go to the store. We really need to get going. Not that I want to hurry the process of Nalak going to the Badlands but with me being incapacitated for almost a week or so, I think it's time we move on. I mean, all I'm doing is keeping Nalak from getting the proper treatment as well as keeping him from doing what's normal to him. I'm sure there are ways someone like him can curb his craving in the Badlands without getting into too much trouble.
"I'm ordering pizza, Nalak, do you want something special... Do you even like pizza anymore?"
Nalak opens the door and walks out.
"Yeah, I still like pizza. What do you like on yours? Are you sure you're up to it?"
"I am. I wanted something light though, like cheese or pepperoni."
"I like the works... well, I did... I guess meat lovers will do for me."
"I'll get half and half. Cheese for me, meat lovers for you."
"Sounds good. I hope I like it. I don't know if cooked meat will taste the same as other meat."
"Why don't you just go kill squirrels again?"
Nalak makes a face at me. "I'm not sure if you're being a dick or not."
"I'm not. Even so, you still have some meat in here from last time."
"Yeah... R, if you want to go back home then I can take it from here."
"What do you mean?"
"Look at us. I tried to eat you a minute ago and you got really, really angry with me. I've never seen you that mad. I can't even eat pizza with my best friend because I don't know if I'll be able to handle the meat being cooked. I'm a monster, Ramey; people are supposed to run away from monsters."
I furrow my eyebrows. "Nalak, you're not a monster."
"A person who would like to eat his friend is a monster. It's my own fault, I know, because I didn't take the lavender but... but still. It's no excuse."
I walk over to him and put my hands on his shoulders. He looks at me with a mixture of sadness, pain, and sorrow.
"Don't touch me, R... It goes against your command."
"Command? What do you mean?"
"When you told me not to touch you, that was a command."
"Oh..." I let his shoulders go. "I'm sorry."
"See? This is idiotic." He turns to go to the room. "I'm just going to stay in here. Don't worry about the pizza for me."
He closes the door and I am left in the lurch, confused about what just happened.
********************
The pizza lasts me for lunch and dinner but Nalak hasn't come out once. This just reminds me of what it was like when he was mourning the loss of his parents. I decide to try something and knock on his door.
"Yes?"
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah..."
I open the door and find him huddled in the corner of the room instead of on the bed. I narrow my eyes at him and walk over, kneeling in front of him. He looks up and looks like a corpse.
"Oh my god... Nalak, are you alright?"
"It's the draw of your blood and me trying not to go to it. It literally drains my strength and I can't sleep because I'm afraid of what I may do in my sleep."
I feel really bad about it and hold out what I want to give him.
"Here, this may help."
He looks at what I'm holding out and then looks at me.
"What is that?"
"Some of my blood. I thought that maybe if you had a little that... you know... I mean you don't have to eat it but just smell it or something. You had said something to me earlier about wanting a vial of it so..."
"What the hell is your problem, Ramey?"
"I... I just want to help..."
Nalak sighs. "That won't help me. It will only make it worse. I'm trying not to eat you or your blood and you're going to go and wave that at me?"
I realize that that was a pretty stupid idea but I can't stand seeing him like this. I stand up and start to leave the room.
"I'll figure something out, okay?"
"Don't bother. Just take the serum and in a day or two I'll be fine. Do what you're told."
I shut the door and sigh, going to the sink. I drain the syringe of the blood that I had taken from myself, washing it with hot water and soap and then washing out the syringe. Now that I think about it, I guess it was a horrible idea to put my blood in a syringe. If he couldn't keep from wanting to eat me while it was inside my body, what was going to keep him from not injecting it into himself? I roll my eyes at my idiocy and dry the syringe.
As I dry the syringe, I look at the bottle of the serum that Dr. White gave me and think about it for a second. I only have about a day and a half to go... Hmm...
****************
At midnight, I inject the serum into my stomach like Nalak told me I should do and sit on the couch, to watch some TV until I go to sleep. I didn't see Nalak again all day... I am about to doze off when I feel like my insides are turning into jelly and I'm about to shit all over the place. I get up quickly and run to the bathroom, just making it before I have the most explosive diarrhea I think I've had in a long time. Not only that, but as I'm on the toilet, this massive wave of nausea hits and I grab the trashcan and vomit into that. Damn it, it's doing it all over again! Only this time it's different. This is almost five times as painful and it's all I can do to stay on the toilet seat.
Finally, the diarrhea seems to stop and I wipe myself clean but I can't get up because of the pain in my stomach. I try as best as I can to get off of the seat and at least get my underwear back on -and I'm successful- but walking is out of the question. I immediately get down on my hands and knees and cradle my stomach on the floor of the bathroom, sobbing from the pain. This is just like it was some time ago...
"R?" I hear on the other side of the door.
"No... Don't come in..." I moan, sobbing and shivering at the pain.
I feel the door open and Nalak is there, watching me from the doorway.
"What's going on? What happened?"
"I don't know... I took the stuff that Dr. White gave me and then I felt my stomach churn and ran in here. Now I have this pain in my stomach that I can't even alleviate. It hurts so bad..."
Nalak leaves for a second and I cry some more, scrunching in as tightly as possible. I suddenly see Nalak come back again as he bends down in the doorway.
"I wish I could touch you so that I could punch you in the fucking face."
"Why?"
"You took all the rest of the serum, you idiot!" he yells, throwing the vial into the bathroom.
I hear it shatter in the bathtub.
"Let me into the bathroom, R."
"What do you mean?"
"You told me not to come in a minute ago."
"Then come in..."
Nalak gets up and walks to me and then bends down in front of me.
"Damn it, R, what were you thinking?"
"I just... I didn't want you to suffer anymore. I just wanted to get it done and over with."
"You had two more doses, Ramey! Two more! You couldn't have waited one more day?! Who knows what overdosing could do! What if you die?!"
I begin to sob even more and just scrunch it tighter.
"I'm sorry..."
Nalak sighs, running his fingers through his hair and down his face. He watches me for a second and makes this odd noise. I look up and see he is crying too.
"Nalak?"
"I can't touch you, R."
"What do you mean?"
"When you got really mad at me about trying to eat you this afternoon? Remember you said 'don't touch me'."
"Well then I take it back."
"You can't take that one back... it was too powerful."
"Huh?"
"There was so much malice and hatred and anger in that command that... that unless you command me to touch you with the same amount of emotion, I will never be able to touch you. I won't be able to save you, help you, comfort you, nothing... It's pretty binding."
"Oh..."
"I'm going to go and get another serum from Dr. White, alright? This time, just do it right. I don't know how long we'll have to wait this time but I'm sure Dr. White will tell me. I hate to leave you like this, but I'm dead serious. Watch..."
Nalak gets on his knees and reaches his hand out to me. As if there is a force field around my body, Nalak's hand stops about three inches above my shoulder and won't go any further.
"See?" I nod and sniffle. "I can't even help you up so I can get you on the couch. If you're able to, I think you can touch me though..."
I force my hand from my stomach and grab Nalak's hand. He's right, but he keeps trying to pull back from me before I get a grip like he did when I touched him earlier. He stiffens his arm but we are like magnets of the same pole and just keep deflecting. No matter how hard he tries, he can't grip my hand even though I'm gripping his.
"I'm sorry, R..."
"No, I'm sorry. Just... I think I might be alright for right now. Go get the serum and I promise to take it right. I just... I just wanted you to be okay."
"Maybe some fresh air will brighten me up. I'll be back but pace yourself."
I nod as he leaves.
When he does, I crawl out of the bathroom on my hands and knees slowly and heavily, trying to get over to the door. Once I get there, I try my hand at getting to the couch. I finally get up on it and sit for just a second. I think about what's going on right now and what Nalak is going through... If it hadn't been for me, Nalak wouldn't even be in this situation. My blood caused his albinism to flourish forth, him being albino somehow got his parents killed, now because I'm an Empty, the serum makes him go berserk and I cause him not to be able to touch me. Since he can't touch me, we can't be friends... I'm making his life shit...
I look at the door and come to the resolve that I need. I gather my strength, get up, and walk out the door.
We can no longer be friends.