"You say you're leaving as you look away, I know there's really nothing left to say just know I'm here whenever you need me I will wait for you."
----------- Come Back to Me - David Cook -----------
The ride silent and awkward. Nolan was driving a rental, I was just surprised he hadn't forced me onto a motorcycle again. You know, one last trauma to wrap things up with. For old time's sake of course.
Saying goodbye to the band was something else. They were at a different hotel, not far and were all still asleep when we arrived. No one knew I had been planning to leave, no one knew that Nolan and I had made this arrangement. Needless to say, they were pretty surprised.
"I knew I should have held out on the big what happened between Nolan and Holden secret until the end of the tour." Holden had muttered when he hugged me and I had laughed. An honest laugh, I would miss Holden. We both knew this had nothing to do with the secret, though only one of us knew I was being paid to leave.
It was bitter sweet. Saying goodbye. They seemed disappointed, I left my planner with Gunner and assured him that they would be fine the rest of the tour without hiring someone else. It was hard to imagine.
Their hiring someone else that is. That someone else would ride on this bus, would use this planner, would set up check ins to the hotel. I was being possessive, but I felt like they were my band now. Not literally, I didn't own them in any way shape or form, but the idea of someone else taking my place wedged another big mass in my throat. I actually got choked up when saying goodbye.
I had spent so much time considering Nolan, and the money, I had severely neglected the idea of the band in general. I was leaving everyone behind. To say it was difficult would be an understatement.
Nolan was respectful. He wasn't bitter or resentful when he handed me a check. He didn't nag me, or pressure me as he bought my ticket and walked me to my designated check in. There was no last minute guilt trip to try to convince me to stay.
I was leaving.
We walked slowly, lingering through the airport. "I left the planner. Everything is pretty much taken care of for the rest of the tour, if you stay on track you should be fine for the next few months to find a new assistant once the tour is over just-"
"Carter." He said in a soothing tone as I was nearing a mile long rant. "I'll be fine."
My vision became blurry abruptly, I tried feverishly to blink away tears before he could see them but failed.
"Hey now, none of that." He put his hand to my cheek and brushed his thumb across the area beneath my eye. "If anyone should be crying it should be me. I'm the one who lost the bet and all the money."
I let out a shaky breath and could no longer hold in my tears. "J-just make sure to always wear protection and- and-"
"Stop."
"Change your socks more often or you'll get athletes foot-"
"Sh, sh, sh." He urged bringing his forehead against my own.
"Stay sober and-"
"Stop baby, just stop." Nolan urged and I finally did.
I dropped my bags to my feet and threw myself at him. Everything blurred for a moment until the tears started pouring out.
We wouldn't ever talk again. This was it. Nolan was on to do big things, we weren't friends, we weren't lovers, I stuck around long enough to get paid but I was nothing more than a hired hand. I knew without a doubt that Nolan wouldn't call me, that if I got on the plane this would be the end of things.
I held onto him tighter and buried my face in his chest. No one in their right mind would turn down half a million dollars. I couldn't stay, I wasn't like Nolan. I wasn't good at this stuff, the fast life, excited and wild. I didn't have an immeasurable income coming in, this kind of opportunity would never present itself again.
A sob slipped out and I pulled away before another could follow I grabbed my bags and hurried over to the stewardess before Nolan could stop me and handed her my ticket. If I didn't go now, well, I don't know that I would ever be able to at all.
"Carter!" Nolan yelled and I closed my eyes, pulling all of the strength I had left I turned back around to face him. He didn't say anything. We stared at one another for a long few seconds, silently letting our eyes do all of the talking, and then I picked up my bags, and I left.
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DON'T FREAK OUT ABOUT THE LENGTH!
I know this chapter is super short, I needed it to end here because what I have planned next will happen in Nolan's POV! And this next chapter will be posted TOMORROW, as your usual Friday update.
Any time I have an update of less than 1500 words (this is 790 btw) I do double update weeks (sometimes back to back, sometimes a couple days in between) So you are looking at less than 23 hours before you get ANOTHER, longer, update in NOLAN'S POV.
And holy freaking guacamole she LEFT?! Who would have guessed some chapters ago when Nolan was climbing into her shower and later professing her intent to break her that they could have progressed the way they have? And she left anyways )':
I could have seriously posted the entire lyrics to this song at the top of this chapter, selecting just one verse was rough! Oldie but a goodie, this song was so perfect for this situation!
Hang tight Carlan babies and vote and comment! (: