"Are you leaving?" dad asked, looking over at me. He gave me that sad smile of his. "I guess you are. You look so grown up."
"Well, I'm not a child," I said, smoothing out my shirt. I'd dressed up neatly for Staz's art show.
We'd spent the past couple of days doing the same thing. We'd go to Staz's house, watch a movie, eat dinner together, and go for a walk. Staz seemed to enjoy the new routine our relationship had established. He liked stopping at the spot I'd asked him out at so we could sit and watch the sunset together. Sometimes we'd do our homework during the movie and sometimes we just lie on his bed holding hands. Staz was slowly growing comfortable sitting closer to me.
Today was Staz's art show, though. I knew Staz was already at the little local gallery, probably with his family. The show had started an hour ago, but I'd woken up late and just finished getting ready.
"I'm going to head out," I said.
"Tell Staz that your mother and I said hi. I wish we could've made it to the show. I'd love to see his work," dad said with a sigh. Mom was off at a business meeting, and dad had a work partner coming over any time now.
"Yea, sure," I said, slipping my shoes on and heading out of the house.
I got in my car and started off towards the gallery, wondering if Dante was there already. I hoped not. I wanted to see the look on his family's faces when they saw the outcast Montgomery son strut in.
I parked in the parking lot a few minutes later and went inside. The local gallery was fairly small, but it liked to hold shows with local artists, showcasing their talents. A lot of families came to support their kids, and the general town population would walk through in a fairly steady stream.
A woman at the door offered me a smile and handed me a little pamphlet that had all the artists in it. I flicked it open and looked through it until I saw Staz's name and where his art was.
Heading up the stairs and down the hallway to the right, I entered a good sized room. I spotted Staz after a moment and made my way towards him.
He was standing near his art, looking awkward and uncomfortable. He was wearing a nice shirt, though he had wrinkled it playing with it. His tie was neatly knotted and he was currently running his hand over the material of it, his other hand playing the pocket of his slacks.
"Hi Staz," I said.
"Jude," he said, looking relieved. "You're late."
"I'm sorry. I overslept. I had to shower and get ready," I said. I looked at the little gathering of his artwork being displayed, surprised by how incredibly well done the pieces were. The drawings Staz usually gave me were mostly sketches, things done in the moment of an expression he didn't have any other way to express.
But these drawings had clearly taking him longer to do. They were neat and impressive, carefully drawn and colored.
Except for one.
It was a chalky sketch of violent colors. A soft purple flame was at the center of the mess of colors, and flames of other solid colors surrounded it. One of those flames was a navy blue.
"Is that your family?" I asked, gesturing to the flames. There were seven flames total on the page, one being Staz, one being me, and the other most likely representing his family.
Staz nodded, looking pleased that I understood. I looked around and spotted his family just a little ways away talking with another couple. His brothers and parents were dressed as neatly as Staz, but they hadn't messed up their clothes with nerves.
"Sometimes I forget how talented you are," I said, eyeing his art again. "These are incredible, Staz."
"Thanks," he said, playing with his tie again.
His family came over to us and his parents both forced smiles for me. They seemed to slowly be adjusting to the relationship, but I could always tell how nervous they were when I was around Staz.
"Hi Jude," Mrs. Montgomery said.
"Hi Mrs. Montgomery. Hi Mr. Montgomery." I nodded a greeting to Nero and Ian.
"Holy sh- Is that...?" Nero's voice was choked and disbelieving as his eyes moved past me.
The faces of every Montgomery member except for Staz suddenly paled as they all looked past me. Staz just stared with disbelieving, uncomprehending eyes. I mentally sighed as I turned, already knowing who I'd see.
Although I stopped as I spotted Dante. Damn, the guy was pretty attractive, I'd give him that. He walked towards us with an easy confidence that he'd clearly gained from years of learning to love himself. He was dressed in in a nice shirt that hugged his figure right and jeans that somehow managed to look formal despite being just jeans. His hair was neatly styled and he looked at his family with the air of someone who knew they were trouble and enjoyed it.
"Dante," Mrs. Montgomery said, surprising me with the amount of anger in her voice. "What are you doing here? How did you know?"
"The internet is a fascinating invention," Dante said, words lazy. He looked at Staz and gave a genuine smile. "Hey, Stazzy."
Staz just stared blankly at Dante for a few moments. "I don't understand," he said at last.
Dante, to his credit, didn't even glance at me. "I wanted to see your art."
"Why?" Staz asked, pressing his thumbs in his palms. "Mom and dad said..."
"Staz," his mother said sharply.
Dante waved a dismissive hand at her. "Quit trying to cover your tracks. I already know you told Staz that I don't care about him, that I picked drugs over him, that I was done with him." He moved past his family to Staz and gave him that genuine smile again. "Staz, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. But I really wanted to see your art today. Is that okay with you?"
Staz nodded slowly. He pointed at the sketchy drawing of flames and violent colors. Dante eyed it and pointed to a burgundy colored flame.
"Me?" he guessed, and Staz nodded.
"Staz, can you throw this out for me?" Mr. Montgomery asked, handing Staz a mint wrapper.
Staz nodded and obediently went off in search of a trash can. Mr. Montgomery whirled to face his son, desperate and angry.
"You shouldn't be here. We told you to stay away from Staz. Dante, are you trying to hurt your brother?" he demanded.
"Hurt Staz? Almost like you did when you told him that I didn't care about him?" Dante asked in fake surprise. "God forbid I be that shitty of a human being."
"We told him the things we did because you were out of control. It wasn't good for him to be around you. And he was hurting," Mrs. Montgomery said, crossing her arms. "He didn't understand where you went. How did you want us to tell him that you were in rehab because you let drugs and alcohol take over your life?"
"I've been sober for a while," Dante said, spreading his arms. "No point in lying to him anymore. Like it or not, I'm stable enough to be back in his life."
"You're never going to be stable," Ian said, his voice disgusted as he eyed his younger brother. "You had the world on a string and you threw it away because you wanted to be a brat."
"I have to say, I didn't miss you," Dante said, smirking a little. "You were always an uptight prick, Ian." He turned to Nero and held out a fist.
"You're a terrible person," Nero said, but smacked his fist to Dante's.
Mrs. Montgomery checked to see how close Staz was. He had just reentered the room and was starting towards us.
"If you hurt him, Dante, it will be the last time you ever get to talk to him," she warned.
Dante hooked his thumbs in his pockets and gave her an easy smile. "You don't scare me, Julia."
Mrs. Montgomery opened her mouth to yell at Dante for talking to her like she wasn't his mother, but she snapped it shut as Staz stepped up to us. He was fiddling with his tie again.
"This is Jude," he said, pointing at me, not looking at Dante. "He's my boyfriend."
"The Tibbits brat," Dante said. "I remember his folks."
"Dante," Mr. Montgomery said, shooting him a glare.
"Don't be mean to Jude," Staz said, still not looking up from his tie. He was knotting his fingers against it, tugging it so that it was loosening.
Dante pulled out his phone as it buzzed. He opened a text, his eyes scanning over it.
"Probably his dealer," Ian grumbled.
"Or a coworker. You know Ian, someone has to educate the youth who don't have rich mommies and daddies," Dante said, replying to the text. "All this money and you still can't buy manners."
Staz held his hand out to me and I carefully took it in mine. He was slowly backing towards the wall where his art was, eye shooting around. More people were flooding into the room and the white noise of conversation was growing louder. Staz's eyes kept darting to the lights beaming down on his work, then flicking back to the people wandering around and talking.
Staz was growing tenser and tenser. He seemed undecided between holding my hand or not, so I kept the grasp loose enough that he could slip his hand away from mine at any moment.
"Which drawing is your favorite?" I asked, hoping to distract him as he grew more visibly distressed by the moment.
But Staz wasn't paying attention to me. Instead, he was slowly tapping his fingers against his leg, nodding his head in beat as he did so, mumbling so quietly to himself that I couldn't hear it.
His family seemed too distracted by Ian and Dante to pay much attention to Staz. Ian was saying something about how he couldn't believe someone with a history like Dante's could even work in a school, and Dante was making smug comments that were only fueling Ian's annoyance.
Staz released my hand and gave a hard tug at his tie, nearly pulling the knot free. Ian noticed and let out an annoyed sigh.
"Staz, honestly, keep the tie on," he said, moving forward.
Before I could warn him to stop, he grabbed Staz's shoulder and reached for the tie. Staz, instead of letting out his usual whine, let out a light yell and tried to smack Ian off.
"Stop it!" he cried, catching the attention of people in the room. "Stop it! No!"
Ian grabbed his shoulders and tried to hold Staz still. "Stop, Staz! You're not a damn child!"
"Let go!" Staz said, growing panic in his voice, trying to tug himself free of Ian's grip. He closed his eyes and swatted his hands at Ian desperately.
"Staz," I said, trying to keep my voice soothing. "Staz, hey, it's okay."
Dante stepped forward and roughly shoved Ian off of Staz. He gently ushered Staz away from the harsh lights.
"Hey, look at me," Dante said, his voice so gentle that it actually surprised me. "Staz, look at me, please."
Staz looked at Dante, biting his lip so hard that I was worried it might bleed. Dante seemed calm though, like he had done this a million times.
"I want you to close your eyes and cover your ears. Count to five, take a deep breath, let it out, and then do it again until you feel better," he said.
Staz closed his eyes and covered his ears. He mumbled out the numbers, occasionally taking a deep breath. Dante patiently stood next to him.
"I'm so sorry you had to see that Jude," Mr. Montgomery said in embarrassment, looking around at the people still staring. "Sometimes Staz throws tantrums like that."
"They're not tantrums," Dante said, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. "That's like saying a panic attack is a tantrum. He's just overwhelmed. Maybe if you gave a damn about your kid, you'd take some time to help him calm down instead of writing him off as an embarrassment."
Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery looked at each other with an expression that announced they'd had this argument with Dante before. They both gave a slight shake of their heads, letting the topic drop.
Staz opened his eyes and let his hands drop from his ears. He looked between me and Dante, as if he couldn't decide who he wanted to be near.
I moved closer to him, not looking at Dante. No need to give his family any reason to believe we'd talked before.
"Can I fix your tie?" Dante asked Staz.
Staz nodded and Dante carefully knotted the tie for Staz. When he was done, he placed a gentle hand on Staz's back, between his shoulders. He rubbed his back a little and Staz leaned into him.
I watched, hating the jealousy in me. I'd never understand Staz the way that Dante did. And Dante knew Staz the best. He'd be able to control this entire relationship if he wanted to. He could end it at any time he chose.
Dante could calm Staz down and I couldn't. He could touch Staz and Staz would lean into it, not get awkward or uncomfortable.
Someone was calling to the Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery and they shot a look at Dante before moving over to talk to whoever it was, Ian and Nero followed them. Dante made sure they were far enough away before looking at me.
"Jude, I think we can have a little chat now," he said, still rubbing Staz's back. "Staz, can I ask you a few questions?"
"I don't understand why you're here," Staz said, pressing his thumbs into his palms again.
"Because you're my brother. Look, I had problems for a while, but I got help. I'm okay again," Dante said.
"Ian said you picked drugs over family," Staz said.
"I did," Dante said. "But then I regretted doing that, so I got help. Staz, I don't do drugs anymore. I don't drink anymore. I try to stay out of trouble. I promise. But I need to ask you some questions, okay?"
"Okay," Staz said with a nod.
"Staz, has Jude ever hurt you?" Dante asked. He shot me a look that told me to keep quiet. "I mean, has he ever hit you or touched you when you didn't want him to?"
"I..." Staz looked at me in confusion. "He..."
"Did he ever punch you?" Dante asked. "It's okay, no one's going to get mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong. I just want to know."
Staz nodded reluctantly and placed his hand on his chest. "But I made him drawings!" he said insistently, eyes pleading for Dante to understand.
But Dante didn't understand that. He was too busy glaring at me. He pulled his hand away from Staz's back.
"I knew it. I knew you were hurting him," he said, letting out a bitter laugh. "You're a piece of damn work, Tibbits."
My mind quickly played through my options to lie out of this. But then I looked at Staz and realized that I didn't want to lie my way out of this situation. Because if I lied now in front of Staz, I'd have to keep lying. And lies were how I lost my last boyfriend.
"I did hurt him," I said with a nod. "I used him as a punching bag to let out my anger. I hit him, I tore his drawings, I said mean things to him, and I grabbed him because I knew he hated it. But then I got to know him. And now I would never hurt him."
"Doesn't matter. You already hurt him," Dante said, the grin on his face dangerous. "You can't take back what you did."
"No, I can't," I agreed. "I can just make sure that I never do it again. I'm trying to make sure I don't hurt Staz or make him uncomfortable." I looked at Staz and offered him a smile. "Staz, I know I was a jerk to you. But I promise I won't ever hurt you again."
"I know you won't hurt me," Staz said, playing with his tie again. "Why would you hurt me? I'm your boyfriend."
"Staz, you can be hurt by someone dating you. They can manipulate you or hurt you physically," Dante said. "I don't think you should date Jude."
"Let him speak for himself," I said, glaring at Dante. "You're so worried about me manipulating him, but that's exactly what you're doing. You're putting thoughts in his head so that he does what you want him to do."
"I like dating Jude," Staz said. "He's nice to me, Dante."
"Him and his friends tore your art and beat you up," Dante said, anger flashing through his eyes.
Something clicked for me.
"Wait a minute," I said, holding up my hand. "I never mentioned my friends."
Dante went quiet and shrugged, watching me. I let out a disbelieving laugh and shook my head.
"I can't believe I didn't get it sooner," I said. "Damn, I am slow. Toby. Toby was telling you all along."
"He might've called me a few times. I remember his family from when I was still acting the part of pretentious shit," Dante said.
Staz looked up at Dante. "I like being Jude's boyfriend. We have a normal relationship." He looked at me and smiled a little. "Wait, no, Jude said there isn't a normal relationship. We have..."
"We have a relationship that's normal for us," I said and Staz pointed and nodded in agreement.
Staz drifted away from Dante and up to me. "Can I kiss you? Is that okay in public?"
"That's fine. You can kiss me anytime you want to," I said.
Staz smiled a little and kissed me. I kissed him back, hoping that Dante could see that I wasn't lying. I wanted him to leave our relationship alone. And I'd have to have a little chat with Tobias Reed.
We pulled away from each other and Staz offered his hand to me again. I took it and the two of us faced his brother.
"Are you happy?" Dante asked Staz.
Staz nodded. "I'm happy."
Dante sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. But Jude, don't take me for a fool. If you hurt him in any way, I will know. And you better believe I'll make your life hell." He gave a little smirk. "You and I aren't good people. I once planted drugs in a kid's car to get him in trouble, and I wouldn't be opposed to doing it again. Don't piss me off."
Staz furrowed his brow. "Don't be mean to Jude."
"I'm your big brother. I'm supposed to scare anyone who dates you," Dante said.
"Why?" Staz asked in confusion.
"Because. That's just how it goes." Dante let his gaze fall back to Staz's art. "I want to look at your art more. You've gotten a lot better, Staz. Will you draw for me sometime? I miss having your drawings."
"I'll draw for you," Staz said.
Staz released my hand and moved towards his drawings. Dante began to follow him but paused as he moved by me.
"No one hurts him and gets away with it. I'm a shitty human being, Jude, and I can take revenge a little far. You'll learn your lesson," he said, patting my shoulder before following Staz.
I glared after him and forced my composure back. Okay, that had gone better than expected, but was still a total nightmare. Now I had to worry about what he was going to do. He did have me on video at his house, after all.
But I watched as the two brothers stood together looking at Staz's artwork. Dante kept stealing sad glances at Staz. His eyes would occasionally dart to the burgundy flame in the sketch drawing.
"I've never once heard Staz say he loved anyone. Not to my parents or my brothers or me."
I pictured the bitter look on Dante's face when he told me that. Of course. He tried so hard to be a good brother to Staz, but Staz had never even told Dante that he loved him. Maybe Staz would never tell anyone that he loved them.
Probably not even me, no matter how this relationship went.
I sighed. That was okay. I could go into this relationship with that knowledge and comfort myself with his drawings. A relationship with Staz wasn't going to be easy, but it was going to be worth it. I cared about him, so I'd learn to deal with the things he lacked.
I sat with Staz until the gallery was over, taking a few breaks to walk around or go outside if Staz started to get overwhelmed. I recognized a few people in the gallery, artists who I knew but didn't talk to much. One had parents who were friends with my parents, but the kid was weird, so I kept my distance. I said hi to a few people that came through, but mostly stayed with Staz.
When the gallery closed, I followed the Montgomery family outside. Mrs. Montgomery kept waiting for Dante to leave, but he just stood next to Staz smirking.
Finally, she gave up. "Jude, we're going to take Staz for ice cream. Would you like to join us?"
"I want Dante to come too," Staz said.
Mr. Montgomery placed a hand on his wife's arm before she could protest. "It's Staz's night, don't argue with him. Besides, we haven't had all the boys together in a long time," he mumbled.
"I'll come," I said. "If you're alright with that."
"We'll drive you all there. We can drop you back off to get your car, after," Mr. Montgomery said, pulling out his keys.
So we all piled into their car and they drove us down to a nearby ice cream place. It was late, probably too late for them to take Staz for dinner, but that was probably best. Staz seemed relieved to be away from the harsh lights of the gallery and the loud hum of conversation that had persisted.
We got out of the car and all ordered ice cream, Staz's parents paying. We sat down at a table and began to eat our ice cream.
"How long have you two been dating?" Dante asked us.
"Not even a week," I said.
"I'm surprised the overlords let that happen," Dante said, nodding towards his parents.
"I'm surprised you're almost 25 and you still don't have an ounce of maturity," Ian said.
"I'm surprised you're not even in your 30s but you already act like a bitchy 90 year old," Dante said.
"Dante, Ian, stop it," Mr. Montgomery said sternly. "I hate when you two fight."
"What do you mean bitchy 90 year old?" Staz asked Dante, and I couldn't help but laugh at those words coming out of his mouth in such a puzzled, innocent tone.
"Staz, clean up your language," Mrs. Montgomery said, glaring at Dante. "You too, Dante."
"Clean it up?" Staz asked.
"It's an expression," Dante said. "One that doesn't apply to me, since I don't live under their control anymore."
"Your mom means don't swear," I explained to Staz.
"Oh. I'm sorry, mom," Staz said.
"This is why no one wants you around Staz," Ian said, shooting a look at Dante. "You're a bad influence."
"I can't argue with you, but at least I treat him well," Dante said with a shrug.
"Stop fighting," Mrs. Montgomery said, voice much sterner than her husband's had been. "Honestly, just stop talking to each other if all you're going to do is fight." She turned to me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Jude."
"It's fine," I said, though I'd never seen siblings fight like that. Landon only playfully fought with his sisters, and Nate and Asher generally got along, or at least tolerated each other.
"Thanks for coming to my art show," Staz said, catching my attention. "I drew you a bird. I'll give it to you the next time I see you."
"I can't wait," I said, kissing his cheek. "Your art was fantastic. Do you still want to hang out with me and my friends this weekend?"
Staz nodded, looking pleased that he knew that expression. "Yes."
He shifted so that he was closer to me, not quite touching, but close enough that we could touch if he decided to. He put his hand out and I held it in mine, giving him a smile.
Yes, dating him would be different. It would take getting used to. But I'd have to be like Dante and adjust to Staz's differences, and accept that some things would just never happen.
But it was okay. I'd get my friends used to Staz, I'd endure and handle whatever Dante's idea of revenge was, and I'd deal with Toby.
My smile grew and I leaned in slowly. Staz let me, so I kissed him, tasting the ice cream on his lips. I pulled away and he returned the smile. Everything else wiped from my mind, problems to be dealt with later. For now, it was a nice night out, and I was going to enjoy it with Staz and his family.