April 21, 2016: Yes, this is another mini imagine. Yes, I apologize to the people whose requests I haven't written yet. Yes, I've gone completely insane...
But props to Gollum for having the longest long-term relationship ever.
You and Gollum are planning your wedding, but it takes an unexpected turn.
Gollum had decided it was time for you two to get married after being in a relationship with him since he found you at the bottom of a river a couple hundred years ago.
His best friend, Deagol, had tried to come in between the two of you. So, naturally, Gollum did what anyone would have done in that situation and killed him.
You chuckled, realizing how cute Gollum was when he became jealous.
"My precious," he began, and you clinked around to let him know that you were paying attention. "I was thinking that we should have rotten fish as our main course."
You moved around on the rock to let him know that you agreed with his choice.
While you were admiring his three strands of hair, you had heard your ex calling out to you.
Sauron was a bit clingy and tried to use you to unsuccessfully control all of Middle Earth, so you ditched him a long time ago.
But his voice told you of a plan to regain Middle Earth, and you couldn't help but be convinced. After all, Sauron was the one who made you who you are today.
We'll be together. You'll rule Middle Earth by my side, er, finger. Sauron beckoned.
How could you resist an offer like that?
Knowing that Gollum would be disappointed if I told him that you've changed your mind, you quietly hopped down the rough terrain.
Then you waited for Sauron to reclaim you...
BUT A STUPID HOBBIT PICKED YOU UP INSTEAD.
He used a silly pick up line like, "Oh, what's this?"
Then he proceeded to put you in his pocket. You tried to resist him and escape, but he had buttoned his pocket.
How rude was this hobbit?
At that moment, you wished you wouldn't have abandoned Gollum but what was done was done.
Oh, why did you ever leave Gollum?
His beautiful complexion, voice, and loin cloth were all you could think about. And now you yearned for his dreamy, hoarse voice to call you his precious once again...
You had learned your lesson and realized that there truly wasn't a better catch than Gollum in all of Middle Earth.