He is here,
My violet eyes,
I feel shy and bold,
With both tears and smiles.
Xander was angel. How do I know, because I freaking loved the guy but besides that a vaccum filled in my whole and when I breath in I realise it was with utter ease; I know because my protector, my appointed guardian was back.
But he was not back yet and that made me anxious, fidgety and crazy. I paced in the drawing room with my mother and sister on alert watching me like I was some insane person, or a ticking bomb about to explode.
The door bell rang but I knew it was not Xander, I can almost feel him when he is this close. It's the guardian-human bond thing.
So when the door opened I inhaled sharply, feeling angry and hurt.
Martin stood there, looking guilty as he should.
"You." I spat the words at him and watch him flinch at my tone.
"Are you here to take me as bait this time, or this time you kill me and my family or are you here to tell more lies, Martin, or is that even your real name?" I yell angry and he just stand there letting me vent out my anger.
I thought he was my friend and he did one thing a friend shouldn't, break trust.
"Freya, can I come in and talk?" He ask in small voice.
I step outside and close the door behind me.
"No you can't enter my house or stay in close vicinity of my family. Say whatever you have to say right here." I said now crossing my arms over my chest and waiting for him to explain.
"I am sorry." He said the obvious words.
I waited without saying anything in reply.
"Lizea is my mother and she is an Elite, she taught me to follow rules and be an angel , perfect, rule following angel. I took her for perfect mother and angel but when she went all evil and manipulative to finish Xander off, she was thrown in jail. I blamed all that on Xander and wanted to hurt him.
You, never, I never want to hurt you. I have loved you." He explained everything in one go.
I remained passive in rest of his speech but the last line hit me like a shock.
"You-you...what...you love –me?" I confirmed not able to bring myself to say those words.
He nodded and looked at me with pain and sadness.
"You call this love Martin, hurting the person I love, trying to get a sibling get killed by their other sibling, by using me as a bait to trap Xander. Xander finished his whole angel side just to save me and what do you do? You lie to me, you hurt me and whole lot of angels when you knew beating Xander was impossible.
There death is not on Xander, Martin its on you." I yell at him but tears escaping my eyes this time.
Martin looked shocked and even more hurt, he move ahead to wipe my tears I suppose but I cringe back from his touch. He looked pained but he sighed and moved back.
"You do know we are not even friends anymore Martin." I said my voice getting thicker from crying.
He nods.
"I am so sorry, I messed us up. And I envy Xander for having earn someone as special and loyal as you." He said but I was not sure he meant it or not.
"Will you ever forgive me Freya?" He asked in a voice that was filled with sadness and desperation.
It was almost heartbreaking to see ever smiling Martin this way.
"Maybe with time Martin, but now today, not tomorrow." I answered truthfully.
"I understand. Thank you for convincing Xander not to kill me." He gave a small smile.
"I might hate you now Martin but you were my friend once."
He wince, again.
"What?" I asked instantly.
"It hurts to hear that you hate me." He answer with a rueful smile.
His face and eyes yelled defeated and broken loudly.
"You deserve it for now, with time I will forgive and then if Xander doesn't tear your head apart, we can even talk sometime." I console him, and I don't even know why.
He was a liar, who tried to hurt all the people I love.
But no one was hurt and he trying to do his job, trying to stop from all his angelic rules to be broken.
"I will see you soon Freya." He said and spurting his wings he left me standing feeling wretched.
Forgiveness doesn't come easy when you are hurt this much.
***
Mom was asleep and so was my sister. I sat on the door step waiting for him to come back. I was getting edgy now, feeling sudden tremors in my body.
I felt a sudden hit in my gut and I stood up, feeling the familiar sensation I haven't felt for so long.
Xander with white wings landed in front of me. My eyes found his violet once and I forgot how to breathe. My heart thudded wildly ready to jump out of my chest and I could feel tear ready to drop on my cheeks.
"Xander." I said his name like a question, like a prayer.
"Fiore." He said and I almost ran into his arms and hugged him tight, desperate in an attempt to put action to my thoughts, in attempt to hold him here and never let him go.
Xander was always there but he was the one I loved first, will always love. And I am biased to violet eyes.
He hugged me and I buried my face in his neck, taking in his scent, his warmth, his purity.
"I missed you." I said my voice muffled in his neck.
His chest vibrates with laughter under me and I melt.
"I don't think you were missing me much while kissing my alter ego that passionately." He said chuckling.
I pulled apart giving him an arched brow.
"Xander are you jealous of yourself?"
When he didn't respond, I busted out laughing.
He shook his head gently at my antics. And I noticed the stark difference between angel and demon Xander.
Demon Xander loved me, passionately, truly , madly, deeply but just like a lover, Angel Xander loved me like a lover, like an angel, like a parent, like a friend, like a protector, like the love ballads, as much as he loved his mother after whom he lost a part of himself, he loved me like he found his lost part in me.
"Well, there is no need to be jealous. I love all your forms, no matter what but angel Xander will always be placed first." I consoled him laughing all this while.
"You are just saying because I am here and the demon me is dormant." He said whiny unlike his royal self.
"That could be true also, but you have to adjust now that you have power to make me fall for you in any and every form." I said standing on my toes and pecking him lightly on his lips.
He sighed , "I have to be in control now since I am angel again Freya."
I chuckle too happy now and kissed his cheek making him groan. I felt powerful and bold, so taking my chance I make a trail of kisses from his ear , his jaw line to side of his lip.
"Freya." He growls my name which sent a shot of pleasure through me.
"I am taking my chances and trying to see what it takes to break your control." I said playfully.
He laugh at my words, "Living with demon me made you bold and sexy I must say."
Bold and sexy, two words that cannot be used for me so I laugh.
"Fine be stoic and take that." And throwing my arms around his neck I kissed him hard and with all the passion I could manage.
This time he groaned under my touch and kiss, his grip tightened on my waist and he crushed me to him, making me moan. A smile formed on his lips as he kissed me back, softly, sweetly and deeply.
His kiss went deeper from my jaw all the way to my neck and nook of my neck. I tilt my head to give him access to more area and sigh in pleasure. He nipped lightly and kissed the sensitive skin on my neck and had he not held me so tightly I would have melted right then with shock of pleasure running through my body.
"How was that for breaking control?" He asked grinning pointing at my neck.
My hand touched the point where he kissed on neck.
"Xander, did you just gave me a hickey?" I asked stunned because he was the angel and even demon Xander didn't went that far.
"I did, I marked you as mine Freya. And this mark will not go easily or maybe never." He said in velvety soft sexy voice and my stomach curl deliciously in response.
I just got myself an angelic tattoo.
"Can we go now that you have kissed the soul out of each other." Haylien said in a half amused, half tired.
"Where?" I asked disappointed and probably blushing ten different shade of red.
I just got him back.
"Well we met Elites who are super annoyed with him. He had been punished and thrown out of heaven." On these words I take a sharp breath, "But-but princess relax. Me being the King and all had some advantage , Alicia helped, we explained to Elites what happened and how Lizea escaped and now planning something with a demon.
"What?" I interrupted him with a incredulous response.
"Yeah, and besides that they can't punish him since he did not go all demon-y on us and I explained how he is guilty and will pay for his crimes. Since they can't make Xander pay, they ordered him never to see you and he is removed from his guardian angel position."
Haylien apparently had more to say but Xander's hand raised in authority and he stopped. He had seen the hurt in my eyes, sharp pain that hit my heart and the watering eyes.
"Fiore, since when have I followed rules?" He asked gently wiping the tear from cheeks.
"You are not allowed to see me?" I asked sobbing now.
"Nothing and no one can stop me from seeing you." He said calming me.
"And where do you have to go now?" I asked frantically.
"Lizea , Martin and Demusa are planning something. I have to see and prevent them from hurting you." He explained gently, his hands cupping my face.
"What if its a trap like it was when you came to save me and turned demon?" I said worried.
"And I am still here, I loved you as a demon, nothing will happen. We are fated to be together, by God." He said with a smile he had only for me.
I smiled back through tears.
"Then why is it always so difficult for us to be together?" I ask more to God than to him.
"Because best things comes after hard work, so that you learn to value it." With this he kissed my lips softly and then moved apart.
"Come back soon." I said wiping my tears, realising he will come back.
I knew, he always does, he always will, even when he didn't remember me and was walking death and evil he came back to me.
"You are my anchor Freya, I can't drift away from you, no matter what I will come back." He put beautiful words to my thought.
"Haylien." I look at him with a grin.
"Princess, see you soon and this time lets have a celebration on bringing my douche brother back." He said with grin of his own.
The two angels flew away in darkness of night leaving me feeling both happy and pained at the same time. Blame Xander to have ability to rage different emotions in me at single time.
Martin and Lizea, these two I knew were no good and now Martin might not get my forgiveness. But who the hell is this Demusa now?
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And yay or nay ...tell me if you want a glimpse at Wings of Destiny's cover (last book of guardian angel series)