You wanna watch us break?
Be the first to take us down.
But your teeth are worn,
And there’s no stopping us now.
The sand was reflective, the moon dancing and shimmering across the grains gracefully. It was starting to set already, dawn was near and we hadn’t even caught sight of the kid yet. I was growing tired with the extended use of this form, and the fact Dylan was on my back did not help.
I was tempted to switch forms, but I knew that would only take up more of my precious energy, and I didn’t have enough to start with. Without a full night’s sleep I was bound to be lacking in that department.
Dylan was calling for his brother, and I was reaching out with my mind, but since we weren’t near and I knew next to nothing I couldn’t make contact. I tried to get through to him using his brother’s brain as well, but nothing made a difference. I couldn’t contact the little shit.
If it were up to me I would’ve already turned around and headed back, but I knew Dylan would never just give up. Them being family and all, he had to find his younger brother and make sure he was safe. I understood, but I really didn’t like it, especially because of the fact I was paying for it as well.
Max may be Dylan’s younger brother, but he would be getting punished the second he was back on our ground. I was the leader of the rebellion, I couldn’t go chasing after every buffoon who ran off; I had other responsibilities.
I stumbled, tripping not only in my real form but right out of my thoughts. There had been a rock partially buried in the sand that had caused my misstep and jolted me out of my mind, and I was surprised I didn’t notice it before.
My form flickered and I had no choice but to change back into a human. Dylan, without a warning to tell him I was shifting, fell onto the ground. “Sorry,” I muttered but wasn’t really all that apologetic.
“It’s fine,” he said, standing and dusting off his pants. “Why did you shift?”
“I just got my powers not too long ago. I haven’t had to stay in one form for an extended amount of time and I’m not used to holding it,” I responded, straightening up and looking around.
“Look, we need to go back. I only have enough energy to teleport the two of us back to camp. Maybe Max is like a puppy, he’ll come back once he realizes he fucked up.”
Dylan looked at me, slightly angry at my comparison and my suggestion. “How could you say that? He’s my brother; I can’t just leave him out here. He’ll die; he can’t take care of himself.”
“Well that’s his problem. I have an army to run though, and they need me there. I have a schedule to keep and I’ve already spent too much time on this. Your brother has no one but himself to blame for this, and if he dies then it’s on his head. I’m not jeopardizing everything I’ve worked for and accomplished thus far on a kid.”
He sighed. “You’re right. I can’t just leave him though. You go back, if I can we’ll meet up with you at Rockfell in a couple of days.” I shook my head, disappointed. I could understand though.
“Dylan!” The call came from far off, only I heard it as I prepared to teleport. I perked up, glancing around, and Dylan looked at me strangely. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off with a glare.
The call came again and I started walking, motioning for Dylan to follow me. He did soundlessly, trailing after me silently. He didn’t understand what I was doing because he couldn’t hear, but he would soon.
A tiny form came into view and I pointed it out to Dylan. He took off running and I followed, walking. I wasn’t wasting even more energy on this kid now that I had found him.
The two brothers remained locked in a hug as I finally reached them, and as much as I didn’t want to interrupt, I did. “We need to go. Day is coming and I need to be at camp.”
They looked at me expectantly, and I realized that I could only teleport two people. “Shit! Shit, shit, shit.” I paused, looking at the kid. “This is your fault. I don’t have enough energy to teleport all three of us back and I need to be at camp! If you had been a good little shit and stayed at camp like you were supposed to, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
“You have absolutely no idea what you’ve done, do you? I understand you’re a kid but you need to have a sense of fucking responsibility! I don’t have the time to dick around, and I certainly never should’ve bothered coming after you. I have an army to run and if one kid died, so what? Plenty will be dead. Now more could die because I can’t bring all of us back!”
Max began sobbing and I looked at him with disgust. Dylan stepped up to defend him but I shot him the same look. “I don’t have time for either of you. I’m teleporting back. Meet us at Rockfell or don’t. I honestly don’t give two shits, and if you die it’s not on me.”
With that I teleported back to the camp, beyond pissed off. Because of him I had no energy and I had missed one of my only opportunities to gain more to try and find him. If we were attacked I wouldn’t even be able to swing a damn sword, much less be of use.
I had a rebellion to lead and that fucking kid had royally messed up my day. For his sake, I better be able to regain my energy by sleeping in the car or I would slaughter him. I wouldn’t tolerate this nonsense.
You’ve got to be mental,
Your speeches are maligned,
Take down this Molotov of word,
Penned with you in mind.
Things were packed up the moment I arrived, everyone bustling about to make sure there was nothing left behind when it was finally time to leave. Everything we needed would be taken, but with over four hundred dead there was a lot we could leave behind.
“Don’t forget the food! Put that in a car with better air conditioning; make sure frozen things get put in freezers! Canned food goes on the bottom; things like bread go on top! Don’t be stupid people!” I yelled out orders, striding through camp. I was in a bad mood, and that made me unwilling to be patient.
“Where’s Maria?” I asked the nearest soldier and he pointed to my friend with ease. Looks like I needed to get a handle on things, soldiers who knew more about my army than I did wouldn’t be a good thing.
“Maria, are Derek and Sam O.K.? With everything that’s happened I totally forgot to check up on all of you,” Maria looked up from her work as I spoke, and her normally playful expressions were dulled into seriousness.
“Sam was shot in the leg, but he’s alright. Derek’s unharmed.” I nodded. Sam could get through it; he was strong despite our arguments about lifting. However the fact that he had been shot reminded me that I still had a bullet in my leg, and that was likely draining some of my energy.
I pulled a knife out of my pocket and dug the bullet out without hesitation; the wound stitching up immediately once the metal was free from my leg. Maria looked at me in awe and I raised my eyebrow at her questioningly.
“You’ve changed a lot. If you had been shot before all this you would be crying in pain and whining for someone to get it out. You would’ve been too disgusted to do it yourself. Besides for that, you never would’ve been able to kill someone. You even made others kill flies because you couldn’t do it yourself. I don’t know if I like the new you.”
I laughed bitterly. “That’s what happens. The Society poisoned me. My sister’s dead, my mother’s missing; I’m a mess. I fight and kill because that’s what I have to do. This is a revolution, and it needs a leader. I am that leader, and there’s no going back now. You don’t have to like it. You just have to ride it out. We don’t have time to get all chicken shit about this.”
Speak!
Speak for yourself,
You paper tigers,
You’ll crash where you stand,
You’ve got a riot on your hands.
Maria looked at me with concern but I walked away, not wanting her pity or worry. All I wanted was to be done with this stupid rebellion. I regretted ever starting it; I didn’t even know why I was bother anymore. If I had been the one being threatened, would other people have bothered to go to hell and back to save me? Would they have been willing to throw away their humanity to ensure my safety?
The answer was no. There was no one like me, and there was no one who could save me now. I had dug my grave, and now I had to lie in it.
Sighing, I realized that she was right. I had changed, and not in a good way. This malicious, evil side that was manifesting itself inside of me was not welcome but I had no way of getting rid of it now.
In fact, I needed it. I could never win this war without the darkness inside.
Inside of us, all of us are two wolves. They are eternally at war, fighting for control. One is evil. He represents anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. He represents joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The question is, who will win?
It’s obvious, really. The one that will win is the one you feed.
I was trying to feed both wolves, because without light there is no dark. Without day there is no night. Life is about equilibrium, but in the end I feared that the dark wolf would win.
Speak!
Speak for yourself,
You paper tigers.
Too late to make demands,
When you’ve got a riot on your hands.
With everything packed up and ready to go, I slipped into the passenger seat and leaned back, somehow falling asleep before anyone could even get into the car with me.
When I awoke we were in the next town, and I was surprised that I actually didn’t know the name of this place. I had done remarkably well in school so I was usually pretty good when it came to knowing the names of things, but for once my mind was clouded. I didn’t know.
“Maria, what’s the name of this city again?” I asked casually, hoping she wouldn’t catch on. She enjoyed teasing me when I didn’t know something I was usually pretty good about knowing, and I wasn’t exactly up for being teased.
“Red Bluff. Why? Wait…you didn’t…I knew this would happen!” She yelled and I jumped out of the car, sprinting into town. I had made it clear earlier that they had to set up again, and I would seek out the mayor, so I needn’t worry about them not knowing what to do while I wasn’t there.
“You can’t run from me, Lea!” Maria yelled from behind me and I pretended to cringe, making sure I looked decent. Once my makeup- some mascara, some eyeliner, and a little eye shadow –was on in a way I found suiting, I headed into the city hall. My hair was left down.
Silent alarms are ringing,
Sounds of revolt draw near,
A new united front,
That you will come to fear.
Heading into the building, I noticed with dismay it was exactly like the one I had run into in Nickalow. It was a cookie-cutter copy, right down to the obnoxiously fake secretary. Oh my shit is every city like this or am I just one very unlucky bitch?
“What can I do for you, honey?” The lady at the front desk, Amanda judging from her nametag, asked. I sent her a sickeningly sweet smile, and I meant sickening for me. I hated kissing up.
“I need to speak with the Mayor,” I responded, my voice calm. Hopefully she couldn’t sense my complete and utter distaste of this entire place; this entire situation in general.
“Go right up sweetie,” she responded and I nodded, glad that this place had stairs. I needed to stay in shape; riding up and down in an elevator was not a good way to go about doing so, in all honesty.
Walking in I observed with dismay that this was again, the same room I had been in at Nickalow, except in a different location. It was frightening, almost, but I suppose that’s the lowlands for you. We’re not very creative, for the majority.
The Mayor looked up, his eyes gleaming with something I couldn’t place. “Hello Lea Trescott. We’ve been expecting you,” he said, two men with Society uniforms on stepping out from the corners of the room, placing a gun on either side of my head so I couldn’t escape or fight back.
Fuck.
We will hold together,
To become the change.
Voice for the voiceless,
With every common man engaged.
“Sit down, Lea. Let’s talk,” he gestured to a chair politely. Seeing no other choice I obeyed and sat in the chair, finding some sick joy in the fact that the chair was actually rather comfortable. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I snorted. What bullshit. One quick glare shut me up though, and I realized I had better shut up and listen before I ended up dead. Things weren’t allowed to end, not like this at least.
“So what do you want me for?” I asked quietly, bowing my head in respect and keeping my eyes from meeting his in obedience. This made me highly uncomfortable to writhe in such a way in front of my enemies, but I had no other choice.
“I’m just here to talk. You see, you were selected from the very beginning. We knew you would be Lemnar X’s first and only success. Why do you think we had so many test subjects? We had to make sure the serum was perfect, so you would survive.”
“You were the perfect candidate: smart, beautiful, and with the serum- powerful. You were somebody that our people would follow into battle. You see, you were supposed to lead us to victory, you were supposed to be the one to destroy the Lowlands.”
“Not save it, I’m assuming,” I retorted sarcastically.
“Who said anything about saving? You may have defeated our forces in the last town, but here I’m in charge. I could kill you right now and you would be powerless to stop me from doing so.”
Wrong, fucker. I can still teleport. I’m leaving the second I find out what I want. I thought to myself, glad I had come up with a legitimate plan. Already I had mind-linked the army, informing them of what was going on. They had everything packed up and ready to go.
Speak!
Speak for yourself,
You paper tigers.
You’ll crash where you stand,
You’ve got a riot on your hands.
“You stand no chance, Lea. You should know this by now. The Society is too powerful. So we offer you a chance, since we don’t want to kill you. Join us.”
Bingo. You don’t want to kill me? I’ll use that to my advantage. “If I don’t join you?” I asked hesitantly, still playing the part of the cowed victim.
“I’ll slaughter you in front of your army and then kill them. I was going to wipe out the Lowlands anyway, even the people. We’re going to turn that place into a brand new shopping mall.”
What a buffoon. “Listen here, fuckface. I have lost too much for you to stop me now. You say you have control; you act like you have all the confidences in the world, but you’re scared of me. No, never mind that, you’re downright shit-your-pants terrified. You sit in that chair with these guns to my head and think, wow, she’s stupid. You’re hoping, praying maybe, that I won’t notice the fact that I’m not as powerless as you want me to be.”
“I don’t know what you’ve done to my mother and if she’s still alive, I don’t know what you’ll do to her now that I’ve rejected your little offer. Yet if there’s one thing I know about her, it’s that she would be more than willing to give her life for the better of everyone else’s.” I spat.
In the Mayor’s eyes I saw the terror I had described, it flickered in the depths of brown. He had lost his control and he knew it, yet there was something else there, not only a coldness but also something else. It was like he knew something I didn’t.
“That proves how much you know about your mother,” he said faintly, but don’t think for a second that just because he said it quietly, it didn’t contain such maliciousness behind it that I was actually scared.
With nothing left to say, I teleported out of his office and returned to my army.
Speak!
Speak for yourself,
You paper tigers.
Too late to make demands,
When you’ve got a riot.
They all looked at me in concern but I waved it off, not in the mood. I had a lot to think about at the moment, a lot of questions that I couldn’t answer on my own. Like what did he mean by that proves how much I know my mother? Was there something I didn’t know? Something I should genuinely be concerned about?
I had a feeling I was missing something huge, but there was nothing I could do about it right now. With alarms ringing and people scrambling around looking for me, I didn’t have time to stick around.
The rest of the army and I got into our cars and drove off, leaving Red Bluff far behind as we continued onward. We wouldn’t be stopping until we reached the next town, and that meant we would all be sleeping in the cars. There was no way we would risk being caught by the Society.
Maria looked concerned but I ignored her. I wasn’t really in the mood for talking to anyone, and I knew they could tell because normally they would’ve asked about it earlier. The car was silent.
Everyone was hungry, I could tell by the dying whale noises, but I refused to stop. We knew the Society was on our tail, and it was obvious we could not stop. I simply told them to eat whatever they had available and on hand. Anyone who stopped would be left behind.
Ignite and watch us burn,
‘Til every ember’s turned.
Mankind will feel inspired.
When we set your walls to fire.
Growing bored I reached out with my mind to contact Dylan and Max. Despite still being incredibly mad, I wanted to make sure they were O.K. I didn’t really want them to die in the desert, or be picked up by the Society and punished for deserting.
How are you guys holding up? I asked, trying not to alarm Dylan with my presence suddenly in his mind. It wasn’t an everyday thing that somebody toyed around inside your head, after all.
We’re fine, on our way to Rockfell, of course. We’re stopping in Red Bluff to rest for the night though. We should be there in an hour or two. He responded and I sighed. They couldn’t go there.
That’s not a good idea guys. We were there, they’re traitors. The Society has literally embedded itself in that place. Be careful. We just escaped that place and they’re looking for us.
Thanks for the warning. I’ll make sure we head a different way.
Good. I’m sorry about this morning, by the way. I was tired and irritated and it really didn’t help that it was hot as fuck outside. The heat makes everybody irritable.
He laughed, the sound echoing in my mind. It made me smile. No problem. Max might still have a few issues with you but I’m sure it’s something that can be worked out. I can understand why you were mad, and I’m sure with a little explaining that he will be able to as well.
I nodded despite him not being able to see it, and cut off contact. That was all the really needed to be said, after all. It wasn’t like I was going to sit there and make small talk; I had some sleep to catch up on.
Speak!
Speak for yourself,
You paper tigers.
You’ll crash where you stand.
You’ve got a riot on your hands.
I leaned against the door and looked out at the area around us, observing the desert. Sand fluttered about, pushed by the wind, and tumbleweeds rolled with it. Cacti rose from the ground and stood solitary, reminding me of myself.
Sure, I had the others, but were they really with me? They would never be able to fully understand what was going on in my head, even if I explained. There were things that some people just wouldn’t be able to come to terms with.
My mother was still a big problem in my head. I sensed that she was one of the pieces I was missing, but I had no idea where she fit into the puzzle. What was it that I didn’t know about her that he did?
Mrs. Henbry had been right though, the Society was terrified of what they didn’t know. They were terrified of loosing control and the fact that we might actually win didn’t put them in their happy places.
I hoped that whatever they were doing, when it was finally time for bed, they lay awake in fear of what was to come, of what I could do, because when the time came I would kill them for all that they had done to me and everyone else; every other life they had every touched.
Speak!
Speak for yourself,
You paper tigers.
Too late to make demands,
When you’ve got a riot on your hands.
I closed my eyes, pulling a blanket up from the floor and around my body. It was cold despite being in the middle of the desert, and I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up to something.
Even if that something was just a blanket, it brought me comfort.
Sighing, I pulled it closer and hoped that my mom was O.K., and that this was going to all be over soon. I didn’t want to continue with this rebellion, it was taking so much out of everyone, including myself, but I had to, not only for myself but everyone else in the Lowlands.
Speak for yourself,
Speak for yourself,
Speak for yourself.