a/n this may make u laugh or you will find it completely and utterly retarded so no hate. I warned u lol.
Veruca: that's stupid
Willy: shut the fuck up you pig skin dumb ass bitch. shove a needle up your ass I'm more successful that your parents. fuck off.
violet: I'm the world greatest gum chewer.
mike: hope that u don't chew on everything. ;)
Charlie: I'm so grateful to be here right now.
willy: same nigga.
Willys dad: nice fucking molars.
Willy: yeah ik my molars are bomb. and I've been eating candy and Oompa Loompa pussy this whole time and I ain't got no cavities like u said I would so fuck u dad.
Charlie's dad: GOTTA ZAYN *runs away. trips in snow while Charlie and willy watch confusedly* FUCK!! *stands up and runs again, trips and rolls down hill.* WEEEEEE
willy: hello Doris! *waves*👋🏼
Doris (the Oompa Loompa): fuck u and your chocolate I never got any chocolate.
willy: I ate out your mom😄 *glass elevator shoots downward*
Doris: FUCK U WILLY WONKA!!!!! (echoes through building)
Augustus: I love chocolate, and willy wonka so I am basically the king of the universe.
willy: shove a cactus up your ass you irrelevant shit.
veruca: i will sue u if u don't get me a squirrel.
her dad: yeah mr. wonka. I will sue all the money out of your bank account.
willy: actually you have only 1/57 of the amount of money I make so I don't think that you will have a better lawyer than me so I will win the case you dumb shits so go home and eat out your wife like a good little husband u shit head.
her dad: well ok then. *leaves awkwardly*
willy: eat a dick,, bitch.
Charlie's mom: when do u think they will be back?
Charlie's dad: I don't know dear.
Charlie's mom: *nods*
*glass elevator crashes through ceiling with Charlie, willy, and grandpa joe in it*
willy: we're here bitches!!1!!1!1!1! *snaps in a z formation hip rotation*
dolls from beginning scene: *singing*
willy: *claps hella hard* FUCK YEAH THATS MY MAIN MAIN GUCCI FLY BIOTCH RIGHT THERE GANG GANG FUCK THE POLICE WE IN THIS RARI.
a/n what the actual fuck am I doing with my life. 😁😁