Juliette
-flashback-
I felt arms wrap around my waist and smiled slightly as I stood in front of my open suitcase. It's the first smile I managed to pull out in the last few days; and ironically enough it was because of Logan. His sweet days were around again. Believe me when I say that I would want to take advantage of the few days I had left, but I had to visit my dad.
In the past few days I found out that he was in the hospital and it wasn't good, so I booked the first flight to Pennsylvania I found and started packing my bags. I was stressed, I was busy, but most of all, I was sad. I was never really close with my mom, but my dad was a different story; I could remember times when I was 15 and he'd take me out for ice cream. I just hoped that he'd be okay. That's all I wanted.
"I wish you didn't have to leave." Logan whispered into my neck, leaving soft kisses as he swayed us back and forth. I turned around and looked into his vibrant green eyes and smiled shyly. "I know, I have to see my dad though. You know that." I reasoned.
All he did was look at the ground and not say anything. He's been telling me for the past three days that he understood and now I felt like it changed so quickly. What happened? "Yeah, I guess." He muttered and scratched the back of his neck. "I'll help you pack." He offered and walked over to our dresser and picked up four of my folded shirts.
As he walked back over to the suitcase I pinched my arm nervously silently hoping he'd not notice the flask I snuck beneath the underwear and bras. He placed the shirts down on the bed and smirked at the suitcase. Shit. I'm really done for now.
"My, my, you're bringing my favorite lace bra." He said and picked up the blue lace bra that was in the suitcase. I don't think I've ever been so relieved in my entire life.
He looked down in the suitcase and paused as he was putting the bra down and looked back up at me slowly. I calmed down to soon! "So, Julie, so what did you pack?" He asked skeptically.
"Well, I didn't pack much yet, I still have to get my shirts and some other clothes in there." I said quickly and looked away quickly. My sights landed on the shirts next to the suitcase and I tried my hardest to act nonchalant as I grabbed onto them. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed. "I think you should rethink that answer." He whispered and reached his hand. Low and behold he pulled out the shiny silver flask and held it right in front of my eyes.
"Can't even stay sober for your own fathers funeral! How pathetic!" He seethed.
"He's not dead." I whispered shakily and winced as he squeezed my wrist tighter. "Please, Logan stop, you're hurting me!" I begged. Tears came to my eyes and he slapped me as soon as they started.
"Don't talk back to me!" He yelled. I whimpered and held onto my cheek. It stung, stung more than the others, I knew this one would leave a bruise.
"I'm sorry!" I said desperately. He laughed mercilessly and pushed me into nightstand. The corner dug into the back of my thigh and I opened my mouth in pain, but made sure I made no sound. It was silent for a little while. We just stared at each other. There's never usually a silent moment like this, I didn't know how to react. It was suspenseful. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I just wanted to run. So that's exactly what I did. I took a deep intake of breath and ran towards the door and started down the stairs.
Logan was too quick though. It all happened in slow motion. The way I looked behind me and saw him try and grab at my shirt. The way I moved forward to far. How I tumbled down the rest of the stairs and crushed my wrist beneath me and let gravity take me. He stopped in his tracks halfway up the steps and watched me crumple to the ground. He didn't even fucking help me.
He turned around and walked back up the stairs. Leaving me there, cradling my wrist and crying. I hated crying, but this hurt to much not to cry. I don't even know what I did to deserve this.
Next thing I knew the doorbell was ringing over and over and I wanted to answer it but I just couldn't. I might as well be dead, I'm better off that way.
"JJ! JJ open the door!" I heard Lilly on the other side. I forced myself to stand up and crashed against the door. I couldn't use my dominant right hand, my wrist was broken. So, while holding my wrist I used my left hand to twist the lock and open the door and fall right into Lilly.
"Oh my god Juliette! We have to get you to the hospital! What happened!" She said dragging me out and towards her car. She opened the passengers side for me and helped me get in. She ran around the other side of the car and got in.
"What do you think?" I muttered and relaxed back in the seat while holding my arm to my chest. I didn't mean to be such a bitch, but I was sitting here with a broken wrist, beaten and discombobulated, who wouldn't be cranky and snappy? All she did was tightened her lips into a firm line and stay silent.
She started the car and looked in the backseat and found a shirt in the back of her car. She took the long sleeves of the blue shirt and tied them around my neck.
"Ow! Fuck! Stop!" I screamed when she touched my wrist. She flinched back, but didn't listen and rested my arm in the little homemade sling.
"I'm sorry J." She said sadly. I felt something move in my back pocket and jumped. I forgot I had my phone. I really didn't want to talk to anyone. I pulled out my phone regardless and handed it to Lilly without looking at it.
"Juliette's phone!" She greeted. She sure knew how to pretend a situation wasn't as bad as it was. It was 1000 times worse. "Yeah, sure! I'll put her on!" She chirped and handed the phone to me. I looked at her and then the phone. She looked away from the road and mouthed mom to me. I rolled my eyes and held the phone to me ear.
"Mom!" I said happily. I heard a sniffle on the other end of the phone and my face dropped. "Juliette..." She whispered through the phone. She broke out into tears and I connected all the pieces.
The crying, the sudden call right before I was supposed to get on my plane, everything. "No.." I whispered. "No." I said firmly. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears slid down my cheeks. I refused to believe it.
"This morning sweetheart." She said and I heard her blow her nose through the phone. No! They said he was supposed to be okay! He's okay! This isn't real.
"Don't tell me." I muttered and let out a sigh. More tears made their way down my cheeks.
"Juliette.." She trailed off again.
"No!" I yelled and slapped my leg with my good hand.
"Your father passed away this morning. I'm so sorry." Please don't let this be real.
Here I found myself three weeks later sitting in my room. Sulking, unresponsive, staring out my window. I haven't spoken to Alex in three weeks. I felt like shit for it too, the last three weeks I had with my best friend, but I was being a whiny bitch. I shouldn't have said that, I should've just accepted what he said, it was well appreciated; I just didn't feel like I deserved it, but Alex sure thought so.
Now it was his last day; he was probably packing or something. I wanted to say goodbye to him, but how was I supposed to say goodbye to him. Three weeks no word and then I'm bidding him farewell. I couldn't do it. Especially something like that, that's cruel. At least, in my eyes it is.
I heard a knock on my door. I didn't turn around though, I just continued to stare out the window. Instead of rain, snow had begun to fall. I loved the snow. It was the only beauty that I had managed to maintain about my fuck up of a life. Watching the snow, crying with the rain, screaming with the thunder.
"Hey, Juliette." I heard Dr. Fuentes whispered behind me. I remained still, staring at the snowflakes that fell like a constant stream. I was I could just stick my tongue out and feel the coldness in my mouth, but I was stuck in here for another week and a half.
It was silent, the only thing you heard was Dr. Fuentes and mine's steady breathing throughout the room. I heard my bed squeak and turned a little to see him sitting in the edge of my bed and watching the snow with me. "It's beautiful, huh?" He asked.
I only nodded and heard him sigh. "When I was little I was amazed with how cold snow was." It was the first thing I had said all day. I cracked a smile at my memories and leaned back. "I always put my hand in it until it got to cold. I never understood what made snow so cold." I heard him chuckle and turned around to face him. He had this tight lipped smiled and a look of contemplation on his face. I knew he wanted to ask me something, but he was holding back. I don't think he wanted to offend me or anything.
"What's the matter Juliette?" Dr. Fuentes spit out. I mean this was his job, to ask people what was the matter. How they were feeling, all that kind of stuff. Key word; job. Meaning, he's getting paid to ask me this.
Honestly though I think he was just trying to return the favor and help me with my guy problems, since I had helped with his. I didn't know what was wrong though, I didn't know how I felt, I didn't know if I was upset about Alex or not. I couldn't tell. I knew I had felt some bad feeling about Alex leaving. So I just threw out the first negative emotion that I felt. "I'm kind of sad that Alex is leaving." I confessed.
He proceeded to nod in understanding, "Well, Alex is better now, we can't keep him in rehab for the rest of his life. I'm pretty sure you'll see him again someday." There it was. The golden sentence that had made me feel even shittier if that was even possible. I didn't know if I would see Alex again someday, I didn't know what would happen. Maybe I'll hear him while flipping through radio stations, or maybe I'll bump into at a coffee shop. I don't know, maybe I'll never see him again. Maybe, this friendship that we had was all in our heads and we just needed support for the weeks we were in here.
"I haven't spoken to him for three weeks, I had three weeks to spend before he left and I completely wrecked it." I said. I had felt tears brim my eyes and quickly blinked them away. I wouldn't let myself cry over someone. Crying was for wimps. They wouldn't cease though and when a tear finally rolled down my cheek and I became congested; I realized that I was a total wimp for Alex. Then, suddenly I understood the night of Thanksgiving because Alex meant so much to me and I was grateful for him. My light was leaving and I had no idea how to handle it.
"Can I see him?" I asked Dr. Fuentes who looked surprised at him question.
"I don't know, that's going aga—"
"FUCK YOUR POLICY! You're a fucking gay doctor and you're telling me what's policy and what isn't?" I snapped, my anger had gotten the best of me, I immediately felt bad about it and slouched back down in my chair. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what got into me." I apologized quickly.
"I'll let you see him." He gave in with a nod. I sighed in relief. I couldn't help it as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hung there around my doctor. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I repeated. He didn't return the hug, he only patted my back and took my shoulders pushing them away from him.
"Alright, that's enough." He said softly. He looked at his watch and stood up, "if you want to see him, we've got to hurry, he's scheduled to leave now." Dr. Fuentes urged me to follow him and follow I did. He led me down the hall towards the door to find Alex.
He was nowhere to be seen. I found myself running faster than I knew I could. I couldn't find him though. I leaned against the window and pressed myself against it with my fists curled and my eyes producing one tear after the other. I was too late, I'll never see him again. I missed my chance to make things right again. I was so angry at myself. I let out a sigh and banged my fist on the window and started to slide down it.
"Juliette! Look!" I heard behind me and looked at Dr. Fuentes who was pointing out the window of the door. He started punching in a code and the door unlocked. He pushed it open and I ran out of it and into the very cold December air. I had nothing but a thin long sleeve covered my arms and I shivered. Then, I saw him walking towards a car and jumped up and down.
"Alex! Alex!" I yelled and started running through the thin layer of snow on the ground, making my shoes wet and my feet cold. He turned around just in time for me to jump up and wrap my legs around his waist, my arms tightly around his neck. His arms circled around my waist and he squeezed. "Juliette..." He breathed out.
I looked at him while he was still holding me. His beanie covered head was just accumulating more snow, but he didn't seem to care. Even his eyelashes had little snowflakes in them.
It was then that I would fucking miss this espresso colored eyed boy. How he would help me calm down, or how he would help me with my problems. I'd miss him, everything about him. He was my light. "Alex..." I trailed off and felt him hold me tighter in his hold, not letting my feet touch the ground. He looked at me weird before his eyes flickered down to my lips. I felt them quiver and more tears stream down my face. The feeling that had hit me was one that I was familiar with, I had felt this way in high school with Logan. The way my heart dropped to my stomach. How my hands, no matter the weather, became sweaty and clammy. The way butterflies flew in my stomach. How just one look would make me blush.
Then a moment later I grabbed his face and crashed my lips against his. The first passionate kiss I had shared with anyone in nearly six months. The first kiss with someone who I had called my best friend. My best friend who I was now starting to fall for.
The way his lips felt against mine and how he held one hand around my waist to keep me up and the other to cradle my cheek. It was all to good to be true; I must be dreaming. This can't be real, I need to wake up now.
The only waking up that I had done was opening my eyes, looking into his and detaching my lips from his, finally realizing my true feelings. I couldn't deny these butterflies, they were annoying, but at the same time I liked it, I liked it a lot.
I jumped down from him, it felt like we were like that forever, when it was probably only five minutes. "ALEX! Man, let's go! You take forever! We have a tour and an album to plan! God!" I heard from behind Alex.
"That's Jack, also know as the best friend; you'll like him." Alex said smiling, and backing up a little bit towards his best friend. I grew confused and grabbed his hand. "What do you mean, I'll like him?" I asked him stopping him from walking away from me more. I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't keep him here with me to cuddle, no matter how I wanted to. He simply grabbed my cheeks and pecked my lips one more time, before picking up his suitcases and walking backwards.
"I'll see you in a week and a half JJ!" Alex yelled out. I was taken back that he was still going to keep his promise, I can't explain how much it truly meant to me, he meant a lot to me. I smiled and covered my mouth my hands. "I swear this time, I mean it!" He yelled back and threw his suitcases in the back seat and got into the passenger side. I waved and turned around making my way back to the door.
Once I entered I felt my body burn with coldness and heat mixing on my skin. "I see that went well." I saw Dr. Fuentes and now Kellin standing next to him, smiling at me. I smiled back and nodded. It definitely went well, all that was left to do was count down the days until I could see Alex again, my best friend who I found myself taking the plunge for. A dive for a second chance to finally get it right. Finally be happy and it would all take place in 8 short days.
An: hello there my lovies :D
So it's the last day of spring break and I'm not ready to wake up at like 6 am tomorrow. I've been sleeping in every day and this is going to fuck up my sleeping.
So on to story news, now that Alex is out of rehab, the story will start picking up a little bit more, because it was probably really boring so far and I love you guys for reading.
I'm thinking about starting a question of the chapter type of thing....? Would you guys like that? I'm not really sure, but I'll just run a trial of it this chapter, SSSSSOOOO
Question; What do guys think of the story so far? Not the band XD but this story you know, yeah
Song of the chapter: I Swear This Time I Mean It by Mayday Parade