I met up with the boys on Sunday because they had to know every detail of the date yesterday with Niall. I was so happy. Niall was really sweet and kind and such a pleasure to be around. I really enjoyed his company.
I also told them about what Niall said about wanting to be with me and that he would wait until I was ready. But I know he can’t wait forever.
“Haz, you really need to move on already.” Louis gripped.
“I know and I think I am finally ready. I’m just scared to give my heart to someone again and not have the feelings fully reciprocated, you know.”
“You really can’t be scared. How do you expect to ever find anyone new with an attitude like that?” Liam replied.
“Yea, Harry. Niall is a really great guy. The kind of guy you need. And it’s not fair to him to keep him hanging on without an answer or commitment.” Zayn stated.
“I know” I said as I ruffled my hair in frustration. “I think I am ready. I will talk to Niall tomorrow about our relationship and that I want to be with him. I know I should be with him. He treats me so well and I know that he will be probably the best kind of boyfriend.”
I got into bed that night thinking about the decision that I had made today. The one decision that would make me truly happy. My decision to fully be with Niall. I knew it was the right one and I really feel like I have no doubts about it.
I heard my phone buzz and smiled when I saw who the message was from.
I had such an amazing time with you yesterday. I missed you today. I’ll see you tomorrow, babe. Goodnight -Ni. Xx
I replied within a minute
I had the BEST time yesterday. Thank you again so much. I missed you, too. See you in the morning. Sweet dreams.-Harry xx :)
Yup. No doubt in my mind I am making the right decision. I smiled and drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We walked into first period on Monday morning. I happily took my seat next to Niall and gave him a quick hug. His lips brushed my neck sending chills down my spine. I smiled at him and we gazed into each other’s eyes for what seem like an eternity. I decided that I was going to tell Niall that I wanted to be with him today at lunch. I would take him for a walk outside to the courtyard and tell him there. I knew we would have some privacy out there since most students choose to eat in the cafeteria.
Our gaze was interrupted when Ms. Hayden came in and started speaking about an English paper we had to write.
“Class, this is a big paper. It will count towards forty percent of your grade. You will need to create a story based on or around one of the topics in this bowl up front. The story must be at least fifteen pages typed double spaced. I will be strict on grammar and punctuation.”
Some of the class groaned to which Ms Hayden raised her left brow and shot glances at those students groaning and continued on with her explanation.
“Since this paper is longer than any you have written I have decided to make this partner work.”
I looked at Niall and whispered “partner?” He smiled and nodded and I saw others in the class making partnerships already as well.
“Class” Ms. Hayden continued. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I will be choosing the partners at random. I have all of your names in this box and I will choose two names and then a topic for you and your partner to have. Right, well let’s get started, shall we?”
She began to riddle off names and topics and I wasn’t really paying attention. Niall and I were still in our own little world.
“Niall Horan with…..” she stated as she pulled the second name out of the box. Niall and I paid attention to see who was chosen as his partner. My fingers were crossed. Hoping my name was called.
“James Smith.” I slouched over, bummed that my name hadn’t been picked.
“Your topic will be…… The Vikings.” She called.
More names were being called and Niall and I were speaking about nothing in particular. His hand rubbing soothing circles on my leg. He knew I wanted to be partnered with him and he appeared to be just as disappointed. Guess I couldn’t be that lucky.
“Josh Devine with……….” She said and pulled the second name out.
“Harry Styles.”
I almost lost it right then and there. Niall looked at me with sympathy, but there was also hurt in his eyes. I didn’t want to do this. This is possible the worst day of my life.
I glanced over to Josh and he smiled at me like he was really happy about this arraignment. I think Niall saw that smile Josh gave me and it angered him cause his hand that was once gently rubbing my leg, now had a tight grip on it and his other hand went into a white knuckle fist in his lap, hidden, as to not draw any attention to it.
“Josh and Harry’s topic will be…….” She said as she unfolded the paper with the topic on it. “awwww, the city of love, Paris!”
I gulped hard and rested my head on my hands in silent frustration. This really can’t be happening. I looked up and saw Liam, Louis and Zayn all giving me apologetic looks.
“Ok class. Now since this is a big project you and your partner will need to meet up after school, I’m sure, to work on it. I will be allotting one day a week for you to work on it here in class, but it will only be one day cause we do have other things in the lesson plans to cover before the end of the term. Tomorrow will be the first day of working on the papers in class.”
Could this really get any worse? And then Ms. Hayden said something confirming that, Yes, it could get worse.
“Now I would like you to sit next to your partners from now until the papers are finished. You will be spending a lot of time together on this so it’s best to be near each other.”
The class starts moving around, finding their new seats next to their partners. Niall and I are just looking at each other when someone taps him on the shoulder.
Niall looks up at a smiling Josh who says “I believe this will be my new seat.”
I could see the frustration and jealousy in Niall’s eyes and he stood up and grabbed his belongings and made his way over to the other side of the room where James was.
I was watching Niall the entire time longing for him to be back here with me.
“Hey, Harry.” Josh smiled at me, pulling my attention from Niall and then he placed his hand on my shoulder and started to gently slide it down my back while saying “How have you been?”
I have to admit that even though I was completely falling for Niall, Josh’s hand felt familiar. It felt nice. I knew that not too long ago I used to long to feel his touch again and I guess a part of me liked the way it felt now. I smiled at him and then turned my attention back to Niall who, judging by his eyes, saw the entire encounter between Josh and me.
Niall quickly stood up and started making his way back over to where Josh and I were seated. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, only he ‘whispered’ so that Josh would be able to hear as well.
“I’ll see you at lunch, babe.” And then he kissed my temple and made his way back over to his desk.
Josh just looked at me and I thought I saw pain in his eyes. Why? He wasn’t in love with me the way I love him. Wait what?? I mean loved. Past tense. I’m not still in love with him. I sat there trying to convince myself of this. Internally fighting with my feelings for both Josh and Niall.
The bell rang a few minutes later and Niall left the class without waiting for me. I knew he was nervous. I was nervous. I don’t know if I am strong enough to be around Josh again and not start feeling things for him the way I did just a few months ago.
This is not supposed to be happening.
I was so consumed with all of my emotions over the whole situation that I barely paid any attention in any of my next classes. The bell had rang signaling it was time for lunch. The time that I had decided that I was going to make it official with Niall.
We walked outside and sat beneath a tree in the center of the courtyard. I tried some many times to start to tell him that I wanted to be with him, but the words never came out of my mouth. It was like I was mute. I knew a million thoughts were racing around his head as well.
So there we sat. Both not saying a word and eating our lunch in silence.