Shawn's POV
"How would you feel if I told you that I delivered drugs from one trap to another?" BK asked.
"What?"
"A drug dealer." She said and I bursted into laughter. That was seriously the funniest shit I've heard in my entire life. No lie. I laughed so hard that the back of my head started hurtin'.
"No, for real." I said catchin' my breath. "What you gotta tell me?"
"I'm serious." She said with a straight face.
"You expect me to be believe that you're a drug dealer?"
"Yes."
"You. A drug dealer? Naaaah. What you gotta tell me? For real. Stop playin'."
"I'm not playin'. Why would I be playin'?" BK tilted her head a little.
"Because you're a fuckin' CLOWN!" I chuckled.
"That's true. I am clown. But I also deliver drugs."
"What kind of drugs? Crack cookies?" I laughed but she didn't. BK is really tryin' to convince me that she's a drug dealer.
"No. Real drugs. Weed most of the time. Every so often, cocaine." I laughed. Her serious face is cute. This is funny as shit, man.
"Okay, BK. Thanks for tellin' me." I kissed her lips.
"Why don't you believe me?"
"Because you're a girl for one-"
"So?"
"Girls don't sell drugs."
"I don't sell them, I just deliver them."
"I don't believe you because you're too sweet and you wouldn't risk goin' to college."
"It's for college."
I chuckled. "I still don't believe you."
"You want proof?"
"What 'proof' do you have?" BK pulled her phone out of her pocket and showed me text messages between her and someone stored as Big L. Shit was legit.
"You for real? No joke? No lie."
"Yeah. I figured that since you opened up to me to a little, I could do the same. I don't want secrets between. I wanted to be up front and honest. I didn't want you to find out from anyone other than me."
"Wow." I said scrollin' through the thread. This is legit. It was nothin' but locations and different amounts of money.
"Does anyone else know?" I asked.
"Matt, that's it."
"So you pick up drugs and drop them off?" I asked for clarification.
"Yes. Whenever I do it, Matt comes with me. And it's not an everyday thing."
"Wow." This is crazy. I never woulda guessed that BK would be into this. Especially since she said that gangs were stupid. I mean, the drug game is wild too.
I just sat there in silence thinkin' about what this meant and how this could affect everything.
"How much money you be making?" Stupid question, but I wanna know because this is serious. It better be serious money.
"Depends on the weight of it." She shrugged her shoulders. "A few hundred to one thousand."
"Woah."
"..Yeah."
"That's a lot of money."
"It is."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Someone has to take care of me and my sister."
"You never heard of shoe stores or fast foot places?"
"That isn't enough." She shook her head. "I'm tryin' to move away.."
"Why?"
"I don't have the best mother in the world anymore. Everything ain't peachy king for me like it is for you."
"So you want to put yourself at risk because of it?" I kind of frowned.
"I need the money."
"And McDonald's and all those places need employees."
"I don't have time to do that. Between basketball and school.."
I massaged my chin. "Do you plan on quittin'?"
"No." I didn't know what to say. It seemed like BK was too nervous to say anything.
"Bey." She looked at me.
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I can get with that. I'm not wit that."
"What?" Her eyes spoke to me. They glossed with sadness and devastation.
"I don't like what you're doin'. You don't plan on giving it up, so I don't plan on continuin' this.." I said lowly.
"Oh.." It sounds like she has a lump in her throat. She bit her bottom lip. That made me feel like shit. I probably coulda worded that differently. I didn't have to be so cold about it. Damn. I opened my mouth to speak but I wasn't fast enough.
"Okay.. I guess I should..go." She abruptly got up from my lap and grabbed her stuff. Just like that she left. My girl wasn't my girl anymore.
A drug dealer doe? That's fucking crazy, man. I don't understand how she doesn't "have time" for a regular job. The weekends? She isn't doing anything that I know of. Okay- I don't know everything that goes on in her life, but still. There are other ways to make money. Save ways, legal ways.
Not to mention her horrible fuckin' timin'. Didn't I just read letters from my Dad? I'm glad she was honest and told me. But I guess that's what she meant by opening up to me. It could have waited a few days though. It really wouldn't have made a difference to me.
If she planned on stoppin' then things would be different. My reason for not wanting to continue this relationship with Bey is because I don't know her story completely. I don't know what home life is like for her. That's because she isn't ready to talk about it, and I'm not going to push her.
To me, it truly seems like she has to do it. I don't wanna get close to her and then something happens that causes me to lose her. I've lost so many people in my life at a young age. It fuckin' sucks! I don't wanna lose Bey that way. I rather end things willingly than things ends due to unfortunate circumstances.
It is what is, bro.
But the letters from my Dad. They were aight, I guess. Just a bunch of "I miss you's" and "I'm sorry's". It made me feel something, but not enough to make me want to write him back. Because if were real life sorry and missed me, he'd come visit me. The million dollar question, my nigga.
My mind shifted to Bey for a split second. I shook her out of my head. Shit. Let me do this homework. Get my mind off this shit. I got up from my desk check and grabbed my back back then sat back down. It's a must for me to listen to music while I do my work, and clean too. I went to iTunes on my laptop, and hit shuffle. I'll start with the econ homework.
Bey's POV
We really just broke up. After a week or so, we were over. Wow, wow, wow. He just broke up with me. Officially, we had only been together for a short period of time, but it was as though we had been together all of this time.
I wasn't expecting that, at all. I don't even know what I thought going into that. All that I knew was that he needed to know. Like I said, I didn't want him to find out by anyone else. But I didn't want us break up either. We really just broke up. What the hell..
"Man." I said quietly as I still sat in my car in front of his house. I felt my eyes watering. Hell no! I'm not about to cry over him! I felt something on the inside of me, but I don't even know what it is. It's not good. I don't feel like good like I had been since I met him. I felt.. hallow? My vision blurred as my filled up with my tears.
Ugh, I'm crying.
I only cried silent tears. I don't know how much had passed but I stopped crying when I heard my phone vibrate on the passenger's seat. It was Matt.
"Hello." I answered.
"Hey. What are you doing?"
"On my way home." I said and turned the key in the ignition.
"Come over here. I wanna talk to you."
"Right now?"
"Yeahh."
"Alright. I'ma stop by In N Out. You hungry?"
"Oh yeah." He chucked. "You already know what I want. Don't worry about soda. I got some here."
"Okay. I'll see you in twenty."
"Coo." I ended the call and headed over to In N Out. I drove in silence. I didn't need music any music.. The thoughts in my are enough. It took longer than expected to get our food, but I wasn't bothered at all.
"Hey." I greeted him when he opened that door for me.
"What's up, ugly?"
"You notice how we kind of look alike now?" He took the bag out of my hand and we sat on the couch.
"Nope." He knows that we're starting to resemble each other. That tends to happen when you're that person for a long time.
"If I'm ugly, then you're ugly too."
"Whatever.. Thanks for the food, [ugly]. I was starving."
"No worries. I had a feeling. You're lazy ass need to cook."
"Aaah. No thanks."
"What happens when you have kids and they're hungry?"
"Uuuhh. They have a mother."
"I'm praying for your kids."
"Thank you." He patted my head. "Where's Solo Dolo?"
"You know her and Ingrid are joined at the hip. They're somewhere singing and rapping."
"I should have known." Matt grabbed the remote and turned to the channel to LMN. We ate and watched this movie. Five minutes into and somebody's mom is getting kidnapped. Gotdamn!
"Gis, thanks for being good a friend." Matt said randomly. "I know you don't like Vanessa-"
I chuckled. "No, I hate her. There is a difference."
"Why though?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "How many times are we gonna have this conversation?"
"I just-"
"Honestly. No bias. No hate. No anything. In my opinion, I don't feel like she loves you the way you love her."
"What you mean?"
"You are head over heels for this girl. I see that. I feel that. Vanessa isn't all there with you. Every time y'all are together she's asking you for money. You give it to her like it's no big deal. She doesn't support you at all. That bothers me so much, you don't understand."
I started to get mad all over again. I guess because this is my best friend but blood couldn't make us any closer. This guy is my life, my ride or die. I guess that's how he feels about me and me speaking up about what's going on.
"She always some smart shit to say! Not just about me, just in general. She's so negative... I feel like I've said this before.." I took a deep breath.
"I'll talk to her."
"Okay. Good... 'Cause she has one more, ONE more time to step out of line... She'll be picking up her teeth off the floor. No lie."
"So you just gon' beat my girl up?" He chuckled.
"I should have when she stepped on my sneaks! Tuh."
"I would have, too. To be honest." We died laughing. We take our sneaks seriously. Solange does, too. We literally make people clean our sneaks off if they step on them. No joke.
When our laughter died down, we focused on the LMN movie. I forgot about Shawn for a second. A small second. It actually triggered something in my mind.
"So, I've been thinking.." I said.
"About what?"
"Talking to someone.
"The police?"
"Baby steps, Maty. Baby steps. Like my guidance counselor."
"For real?"
"I'm serious. You're right. I do need to talk to someone for my own sanity."
"Good." He sighed a relieved sighed. "Wow.. You don't understand how happy I am to hear that. What made you decided on doing that?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess.. I just need someone to talk to. Other than you."
"What about ya boy?"
"He doesn't know, and he never will. Only people that will know are you and my guidance counselor."
"I feel you. I'm proud of you." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled into a hug.
"Thanks." Me and Matt just chilled and watched TV like we do a lot of times. All could think about was Shawn and how were no longer together. Not even friends. Eh, whatever.
--
10pm. I just got out of the shower. I'm still sad that I won't see Shawn again. It stings, but I'm more than positive that I'll get over it. Eventually.
Anyway. I dried my body off, then put my bra and panties on. My body is still a little wet. When I got to my room, I laid on my bed, and let the ceiling fan dry my body. It's feels so refreshing. I closed my eyes and someone knocked on my door.
"Hold on. Give me ten minutes." I didn't bother moving. I'm so comfortable. My door opened and I popped up. Just when I thought about speaking out about this..Here we go, again.
"Why do you need ten minutes?" Chico asked, as he closed and locked the door behind him. I sighed as he took a step closer to my bed. He was probably waiting until I got out of the shower.
"What you doing?" He asked.
"N-nothing. Just.. laying down."
"You know why I like you.." He took another step closer. "You're not your sister." My heart began to beat faster and I swallowed hard.
"She's loud and crazy. Not you."
"Leave my sister out of this." He chuckled and played with his beard.
"Don't worry. She's not my type. I'm thinkin bout you. Not your sister." Right, because that makes it better.
"You know why I like you.." I didn't say anything.
"I asked you a question." He clinched his jaw.
"I d-don't know."
"That body." I moved my hands up and covered my boobs. I don't know, I guess it was just a reaction.
"You be walkin around in those basketball shorts. The first day I moved in, I saw the way you were looking at me."
That day, I was staring at his teeth, because he clearly didn't brush his teeth. I'm sure that I was frowning hard at the plaque build up.
"Anyway. Where's the lotion?" He asked.
"Dresser." I said just above a whisper. Chico walked to my dresser and grabbed my Jergens lotion.
"Lay back." Chico demanded, and I obeyed. My eyes closed shut when he pulled my panties down.
"Open your eyes." Aggressively, he commanded. He forced me to look him in the eyes as he rubbed the lotion on my thighs. When he finished with my legs, he moved up to stomach and boobs. It took every single thing in me to keep my eyes open. They began to water, filling up my eyes quickly.
"A girl as pretty ass you shouldn't be crying." Chico told me with a smile plastered on his face. He flipped onto my stomach and continued to slowly put lotion on my body. As he did so, I cried into my pillow. It was soaking wet by the time he rolled me back over. He wiped my eyes happily, undressed himself, then got comfortable between my legs.
I felt his penis touch the opening of my vagina. Welp. Here goes nothing. I closed my eyes tighter, sending my tears down into my ears.
"Can you at least-" I started to ask if he could wear a condom if he was going to do this.
"Did I say you to speak?" I wasn't sure if I was supposed to respond, so I didn't.
"You don't hear me talking to you?"
"No."
He frowned at me. "You don't hear me?"
"I was-"
"Just shut up." He snapped. I didn't utter another word. I just laid there. With my eyes closed, I laid there. He didn't penetrate me, but he did rub his penis against my vagina as he always did. I just laid there, crying silently until he was finished.