I remember when I first saw him... I'm in love with ideas hovering
above our heads, but unlike the rushing stampede of human beings
I am one of the few that look up from the crowd.
I remember when she looked at me as I gazed down from the rooftop,
and like the seamen in watchtowers watching the flow of the sea,
I watch the flooding people swim against the sparkling
city lights that kissed her skin. I remember ceasing the very air with my mind,
and when I closed my ears
to the whispers and the cries of the gallows,
I felt it, a gaze
falling upon me. I remember her wide eyes.
She was surprised to see
my feet hanging, swinging
above the city. I remember thinking "It must be beautiful from up there,
It must be dream-like
to float over the white noise, and to be among the whispering winds."
I remember wondering, "She must hate it down there, with all those people who don't care"
I wonder if she would like it up here. It is here where I understand what true love is,
I remember wishing I could fall in love
with life again,
To see things that are profound, again.
To escape temporary happiness woven in evanescence. Because in the grand scheme of things, they don't matter.
I remember asking the sky "What denouements does she uncover down there?
What sort of hidden mysteries could she possibly solve all alone?
I remember looking up at the boy, and opening my mouth to speak
I remember seeing her desire at the threshold,
at the tip of her tongue,
at the very edge of her teeth.
But out her lips, words don't escape.
They do not roll off of her taste buds and out into the open air.
Maybe it's because she realizes
that I am up here. And I am down here.
Miles away from each other.
I remember feeling helpless. It's as if I looked up at heaven from the deepest depth of the sea,
And I look down on world from the edge of the universe. We are kindred spirits,
who know reality for what it truly is,
and we recognize that reality is a realm we can escape.
I looked down with sadness, I looked up with despair, because in her eyes, I saw the prisoner I used to be,
because in his smile, I saw the freedom I desired.
The human being I am, and the person I am born to be should not need to be separated
by Wood upon wood, Brick upon brick, breeze block upon block of cinder, and air upon sky.
I remember the make believe tears in her eyes. I remember our soft and silent goodbyes. I remember hoping that God would let her soul hear mine. So that she'll remember to never stop searching for freedom.
Freedom is resting within me, but I need to find myself first.
I'll Look up. Look down. Look everywhere,
and when I find myself, change again, again and again...