Ben’s bike coasts to a stop and he kills the engine. I tug my helmet off and shake out my hair. My face is still tender from where I hit the coffee table but the three aspirin helped a lot. It’s amazing the level of beating the human body can withstand.
Hmm. A field. Is this it? Ah, but am I missing the delicious gift Ben offers? If so, I’m thrilled by this surprise, and no matter how achy I am, I will not turn him down.
He has been quiet since his rescue of me earlier. He’s not happy, extremely unhappy, actually. I’m just relieved to have him within arms reach again to be honest. I guess I have to take back what I’ve promised myself, huh? Surely, no matter what he keeps a secret cannot be as bad as having to try to function and live without him.
Well, Lee, looks like you are willing to take that chance.
The inky sky is sprinkled with stars, and a picturesque waning moon. Wind whips through the long grass, rippling the fine strands, and wild flowers, which give off a sweet scent. Combine that with Ben’s spicy musk and I’m a happy girl. Will we make love under the stars? Will he feast on me until I come? Oh love. I lean into him and wrap my hands around his trim waist.
For the first time in what seems such a long time, Ben chuckles, and rubs the back of my hand with his own. He gets off the bike and picks me up, carries me in his arms. I like this look on him. Black leather, sleek black helmet, black boots. I know beneath this get up his eyes will be a kaleidoscope of dark browns with flecks of gold and hazel. His nostrils will flare and his eyes flux when he smells my arousal, and his own lust will rise like a tide to consume him, before he consumes me. Can he feel my passion, the need that burns in the core of me? Even after all we’d been through tonight I want him more than I’ll ever reasonably explain.
I open my thoughts to him, my mind, my body to show him how much he means to me, and I feel him stiffen, pull back mentally. This makes me sad, and I pat the side of his helmet. Still, after everything, he hides from me.
I feel his shock that I felt him distance himself from me, and his immediate apology. ’We’re home.’
Home? Ah, the field. I pause mentally. The meadow is pretty, but can I live in grass? I understand my needs when I became like him will be different, but surely, we need a roof, and four walls? A place to shower and a bed to love each other in. I flush. I could love him anywhere, and the very idea of him sliding inside of me for the first time is too strong to block, too urgent to not have my entire body heating.
He feels it, hears me, and his hold tightens. Mmm. I like it when he holds me this tightly. His desire is dammed behind a rock solid wall of determination, I think. I remember this mental barricade from the first time I entered his mind uninvited, carried over it by our combined pleasure. I will have fun breaking it, and bringing him to his knees.
Oh yes, I will break you, Ben. Your walls will tumble when I decide I no longer wish them in my way.
His reaction is to reinforce said iron will, but he doesn’t caution me to back off. ’Open your eyes, love. Open them wide.’
Luckily, I understand Ben, and so rather than retorting that my eyes are already open, I open myself fully, and gaze around inquisitively. There’s a tingling at the corner of my eyeballs, and the air bends, as if I look through a glass fishbowl. The field wobbles. Akin to melted wax, the air becomes lucent and oozes into nonexistence to leave behind a … castle!
I place a hand on Ben’s chest and he stops. I’m grateful he understands my every whim. He sets me down, his hands holding mine tenderly needing to stay connected. I exhale in a whoosh and accept what I see like I accepted Ben’s arrival in my life.
The fortified structure is made of gloomy stone, with curtain walls and arrow slits. I’d first thought the field backed onto the ocean, I see the castle is built onto a natural rocky motte, cutting into the cliff face. Holy mother! The noise as the waves crash upon the structures sea face is beautiful as it is terrifying. There is a curved four-storey flat-topped Keep on the west side. On the east side there is another tower equal in size, though capped with a conical roof and metal spiral. The wooden front doors, the portcullis raised, stand four men wide and two deep, and we must cross an arched bridge over a moat of frothing seawater to reach them.
‘I was a feudal lord,’ Ben thinks at me by way of explanation for this castles presence. ‘I was made a man too young, and Daniel took me soon after this fortress became my domain.’
Holy hell, Lee. I will not claim to know much about history, or the heritage of English soil, but I’ve never heard of this place. It’s too magnificent for the history books to simply forget. Did he conquer this or something? How much do you know about feudal lords of the seventeenth century?
‘We ... drank those who once worked here and hide the castle from view.’ Again, I wait, and think. From all but those who know it’s there? That is some achievement. ‘From humans. Lycanthropes and others of my kind can see.’
I spin to him and clutch the front of his jacket in my fist. It creaks as my nails dig in. “Werewolves?” I demand breathlessly. He nods and the moonlight bounces off the side of his helmet. “Where?” He points to the left to the forest. My eyes must be like saucers.
‘Castle sits on the cusp of the boundary line. I own this land. Past that tree line the territory becomes theirs. Remember that.’ He caresses the side of my face. ’Always remember that you cannot cross that line.’
I’m naturally curious and despite Ben’s obvious distress at the mention of me stepping a toe past that boundary, I find myself compelled to see what lies in the midst of those tress. My body leans forward. A little peek? I’m human, at the moment. Surely, they will not harm me.
Oh, ah. Ben’s grip on my hand is quite painful now. ‘You smell like me.’ He strokes my neck. ‘You bear my bite. You are marked as my love.’ He takes off his helmet. His pupils contract to a splinter of black. “They would hurt you.” The whisper makes my eardrums vibrate and my heart thump.
I can’t wait to hear him speak to me without the frailty of my human ears forcing him to hold back his power.
Oh, I’ve not forgotten how you tried to control me, love. So, I’m readying myself to respond for Independent Women everywhere with a, “I will do whatever I like, you don’t own me,” speech, but the castle doors shudder open. This captures my total attention. I was a puppy my ears would be pointy and swiveling around in curiosity.
Adam and Simone step out to hold up their hands in greeting. They look a tad frazzled though; even from here I see rips in their clothing and blood spatters.
“How did they get here before us?” I ask.
Ben’s mind brushes against mine enamored with my ignorance. ’We move fast and I was in no hurry to bring you here.’ The end of that thought is grieved, and I entwine my fingers with his for comfort. ‘Honestly, love, I was going to respect your wishes, but Daniel has made it clear he will not risk me turning you. I have no choice.’
I say nothing. I understand, and I was not going to fight him on this. If I had to choose between death and Ben, I choose Ben, hands down.
Adam and Simone drift forward. They still have things to do? Nodding at us, they blur into ghostlike streaks, and are gone. I shiver staring at the empty road they disappeared down; try to see through the fog, but obviously, I see nothing.
Okay, I’m trying to be comfortable, but it’s … difficult. I’m used to my cozy, boxy, purpose built studio. This place is colossal. My steps echo on the flagstone floor and the cavernous entryway is spectacular. A stained glass window takes up half the wall opposite and moonlight drifts through the depictions of horses thundering through fields of gold, maidens frolicking in lakes, and great lords hewing down their enemies with great swords and lances. Their banners held high and waved as if caught in a high gale. The cliffs are behind this window and I see out into the turbulent water, to the storm clouds, and my breath is stolen. Full suites of amour flank the climbing stairway that curve on both sides until they meet in the middle under the glass window, so once can stand on that platform and take in the magnificent view from higher, should one wish. The stairways also lead off to the west and east.
Ben turns me in the direction of east and gives my bottom a little push. I climb the stairs, letting my hand brush over the smooth stone handrail and when I reach the top I grin at the torches that flicker with real candles. Artwork on the walls is magical and I’m diverted for quite a while. I am an artiste after all. I laugh and have to school myself quite harshly not to rub my fingers all over these masterpieces, just to feel them, to see if they are really real.
I sense time is against us and I move on. The whole while Ben is behind me, radiating sorrow yet so much hope I’m sure if I was to harness it I could out power the sun. Room after room I circle, in awe if what I see.
Pivoting on my heel, walking backward I ask him, “All of this is yours?”
Hand briefly fluttering over a white marble bust of an older man that looks suspiciously like him, but with a broader nose, he nods.
I spin back round, my hair flying. I tuck it behind my ears and carry on, my lips rubbing together. I need some chap stick. Perturbed, I walk throughout the building and each room is more grandiose and magnificent than the last.
Why does Ben have all this stuff? He does not seem the kind to covet possessions. Yes, he was a feudal lord and that might explain why he has some wealth now, but there appears to be more to this. Daniel openly mocked our relationship but did not outright defy Ben. When my love made his displeasure known Daniel backed off. The younger we are, the more powerful we are? Is that it? I bite my lip. No, instinctively I know that’s not right With age would come wisdom and strength, not weakness. So why did Daniel defer to Ben so? He made Ben into what he is, so shouldn’t Ben be his underling? Was this all part of the big secret Ben will not tell me until I am like him? Probably.
I come upon the bedroom at the top of tower, and now I’m sure I am hallucinating, because this kind of thing only happens in the dreams of princesses as they slumber.
The floor is covered in dark, rich soil. The chandelier lights are off, but the room is bathed in a warm glow by hundreds of tea lights scattered across the floor. The fireplace smolders, emitting a gentle heat into the room. Dotted in-between the twinkling flames are mounds of dark earth and rosebushes, lavender, and other wildflowers.
Did he plant an entire garden inside this room? What on earth for? Little me?
‘Yes.’ Ben thinks and it sounds like maybe he feels the whole thing is trying too hard. ‘I was prepared to bring you here if you accepted me.’
In the centre of the room is a cast iron bed, the foot pointing toward the fireplace. Wreathes of gossamer silk are draped over the high posts, intricately gilded with bronze flora. The sheets are crisply white and shadows flicker over the coverlet. This is the only furniture in the room.
Toeing my sneakers off, I take my first step into the room. Stop. The soil is cool beneath my feet, soft, and almost fluffy. I wiggle my toes and the black grains tumble over the top arch of my foot and pool around my ankle.
Lee, how magical is this place, and this man. You are being blessed right now did you know that?
I look over my shoulder at Ben. His eyes sparkle from the shadows, and I’m overcome with emotion. He is so handsome. He leans against the wall, hands in his pockets, and tries to compose his face to blank, but apprehension fights to break free. I raise an eyebrow. Is he trying to seduce me then? Is this delightful display not effortless for him?
He ducks his head. Oh, darling! Is that dusky rose flushing across your cheekbones a genuine blush?
“It’s working,” I assure him, and step fully into the room, knowing when I leave it again that I’ll no longer be who I am. See how my movement is sure, and how my hands do not shake, nor my frame tremble. I’m Ben’s mate, his love, and I make sure my pride is reflected in my gait. I’m to be his equal, his one and only, so my chin is lifted high and my back straight.
The glass double doors at the far edge of the room are closed, a gauzy curtain hanging in front of it, not dense enough to block out the lunar light that drifts in through the arched window. I see the outline of a balcony, but the pull of curiosity is not strong enough to divert me from my path to the bed. I crawl onto the yielding mattress and fall onto my back, the opulence bringing a whimper to my lips. It smells sweetly of roses, a heaven to die on, I think. I close my eyes and inhale measurably to still the rising panic. It’s natural to fear pain, and loss, but it’s not enough to stop me from joining Ben. Thank goodness for that, to come this far and turn back might have ended up destroying us both.
‘This is your last chance.’ Ben’s words echo in my mind, hollow with despair. ‘Maybe … maybe we can think of something else.’
I sit up and am so very cross with him. This night will be difficult for both of us, and he’s making it worse. The time for maudlin reflection is over. I’ve seen it all, what kind of fiend he is. I know … most of what there is to know about my new life. He stands before me, stone still, expression pained as he tries to make me understand. Well, can you not understand me? You can be a monster to everyone else, a terror, a horror, but to me, you are home and safety.
I take his hand and bring it to my lips. What would he have me do? It wasn’t like I could live without him now. Not only did his Sire wish me dead as I said before not being together would destroy us. I refuse to be in this world knowing he is out there, mourning the loss of me.
No, this is how it should be. I will be with you. That was all there is and will be for me, alright?
‘I am selfish.’
I shrug. “So am I.”
“You will no longer know the feel of sunlight though its smell with taunt you on the skin of prey,” he says harshly. “You will forget nothing. Knowledge of this magnitude is a torment I cannot explain.”
I wince. His words carry enough power to have an uncomfortable pounding start in my temples. Unable to say what I suspect he wants me to, I repeat my important question out loud. “What would you have me do?” My voice is raspy from emotion.
“Leave me.” He speaks, and I know though it kills him to say so, he wants me to take him seriously. “Leave the country. Run as far from me as you possibly can and I will bring Daniel close to me so he cannot harm you. I will forbid it.” Maybe if I had not decided he was my destiny I’d listen with the intention of obeying him. I’ve chosen, love. I accept what is to be our future together, and I’m ready for it to begin, for this chapter of my life to be over. “Please,” he whispers urgently.
Another wince from me. “No,” I murmur back, tears in my eyes. “So stop asking, it hurts me.”
He moves, startling me since he had stood so still. He kisses my check, catching the tears that stream down my face. I’m not weak, but the thought of losing him is enough to break me, to shake me to my core.
‘You cry for me. Will you still when the tears are bloody?’
Damn it, why can he not see if I’m in his arms, and he is safe I will never have need to cry again? Well, I’m over it, done with this conversation. With steady hands, I hook my fingers under the hem of his tee shirt, and rising onto my knees draw it over his head. I place my palms on the muscular plane of his chest and gaze into his eyes.
I am ready.
‘The transformation will be quick,’ Ben thinks. ‘Do you wish to know what will happen?’
I hesitate.
Think carefully, Lee. Do want to know what pain is to come, or will you deal with it better if it simply surprises you?
“Don’t tell me,” I say in a rush. “Just do it.”
He cocks his head and pushes his love for me behind a steely veneer of ice. ‘As you wish.’