Sorry for spelling errors. (Trying a new format, tell me what ya think!)
Levi and I had been getting to know each other more and more with each and every passing day. Everyday after school or on the weekends we would meet each other at the cliff, and sit in silence or I would ramble on and on about my day. Levi listened attentively whilst staring at the same sights in the nature. Every single day we would meet up, and we sat here in this exact same spot, Levi always looked so calm and collected while I was the exact opposite, I was the one who was happy on the outside but internally screaming because of my lowering timer that was descending lower but slowly at a quickening pace, though.
I rubbed my tired eyes, looking up at the dull grey clouds that splattered over the night sky. "Do you think it might rain?" I asked Levi, looking to my right and looking up at him since I was laying with my back into the soft green grass that flowed with the wind underneath my body. Levi gave out a sigh, before looking up at the sky, like as if he was trying to figure out a mystery that laid behind the dark grey clouds that overlapped the shining stars. "The night sky isn't as pretty as it used to," Levi replied, but totally dodged my other question, not that I minded. "Well, what do you mean by that?" I asked, putting my hands on my stomach and turning my head back to the sky, a soft look formed on my lips, almost like as if it was a small little smile that made my lips twitch with the pleasure of the feeling of having a smile on my face.
"I mean, the clouds just sort of, dull everything in the night sky away. The moon doesn't glow as bright and the stars don't shine as plentiful as they did before the dark clouds rolled in." Levi described, looking at me with his grey eyes for a split second before he locked his eyes onto the sky above both of us. "But the sky is still pretty," I sat up, stretching my arms in front of me, "Just because the clouds are there doesn't mean that it isn't pretty. The moon is still glowing and the stars are still shining. As long as they are there, in place and in harmony, then they are still as pretty as they are even without the clouds." I mumbled the ending mainly to myself, but I could tell Levi heard me because he flash his gaze to me before turning his head back to the main thing he was observing. The sky. "Levi, we should have a bet." I said, looking at the sky but taking quick glances to his face that was dull but his eyes were swallowed with the look of something that was indescribable.
"No way brat." By now, throughout the course of the time we have spent together, I knew by now not to fight with him about the name 'brat.'. I just stopped scoffing at the mean nickname towards me. "Why not?" I let out a low chuckle, and kept my eyes locked on the side of his face. Now he had turned his head a locked eyes with me. "Because I'll lose.." He said seriously. This time, I closed my eyes, and shook my shoulders from laughing at his unfunny joke. "You seriously look like someone who never loses a bet." I responded, smiling brightly still from the joke. "Yeah, well." He didn't add onto anything after that, still locked eyes with me. "Come on, make a bet." I leaned closer and nudged him with my elbow. But he grasped onto it tightly.
"What is this bet?" I was going red from how close the two of us were, but Levi didn't seem fazed by the fact that the tips of our noses were almost touching, but distanced only by an inch or two or three. He was still only looking at me and into my eyes, which made my heart thump hard against my chest, scared that he could probably hear it thumping so loud and quick. "How long is this gonna last?" Is the bet I was going to say, but it made it seem like I was asking how long we were going to be so close. "2 seconds." He let go of my elbow and looked away while I back my head further away and looked at my feet. "You lost." Levi retorted after a long silence. "Oh, yeah?" I asked, turning my head to see him actually looking at me instead of looking at the dark clouds that washed over the bright stars. "We never shook on it." I waved my finger a little, smirking in satisfaction. Levi nodded a little before looking away from my gaze on him.
I wasn't bothered, but instead I looked up at the stars with him, sitting next to him, our fingers brushing to together every once in awhile. Every time it did my eyes opened more than the half lidded eyes I had, wanting to sleep. And my chest would have my heart pounding against it, like a quick snare drum, going at lightning speed. It was like the speech had been taken from my mind when I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't. I just remained quiet as I let the silence consume the two of us. Until Levi spoke up once,
"You're right. The sky is still very pretty." But Levi wasn't looking up at the sky when he said it. He was looking at me.
-
It was now a week since then, and Levi and I still go out to the cliff and chat every day while I pretend to be working on a doodle but I am actually finishing up my project for my art class. I made sure to try and give it everything I had in me and my artistic value. I had my bundle all filled with sketchbook paper and different kinds of pens and pencils that helped me create the mood for the drawing. I was almost complete, and I had it nearly finished. So I didn't stress about it as the deadline was nearing in closer to the finish line. I didn't discuss my project with my teacher or even Levi, who was the subject of my art project, so it was hard to draw him without him questioning it.
So I drew it in my head, imagining how I would perfect his nose or his eyes that were always glared or narrowed. And how I could make his thin eyebrows so furrowed downward; so much it reminded me of squidward from spongebob squarepants. Today I decided to just head home instead of taking the short walk over to the cliff where Levi probably was. Once I walked into the house my father sat in the living room, his face in his hands. It worried and left me concerned if he was okay, so I sat next to him, being careful to put my bag filled with pencils over to the side and made sure none of them fell out. "Dad are you okay?" I asked, concern laced in my words as I placed my hand on his back, rubbing slowly.
"Yeah, I am fine Eren. I was just in your room the other day, and I saw you had a sketchbook. Now I know you like to doodle now and then so I didn't presume-" I cut him off, feeling the anger bubble up from deep inside me. "I draw, Dad, I don't doodle. And I am good at it Dad! I could become an artist if I really devoted myself!" I opened my mouth to continue but decided it was more than enough I had already said. "Now Eren, your mother and I want you to become something else. Something with more benefits and pay, and an overall better job. We want you to become something you and your family could be proud of." He explained, trying to sound all wise, even though I knew it was just worsening my anger towards him, making me wanting to shout and yell at him, so I tried my best to keep my composure as I scoffed out my answer, "But Dad I really have a deep passion for it! I love to do it! You guys want me to become something I don't want to be! What about my happiness? Don't you guys care if your own son if happy?" I asked, looking up at him, trying to see what he was thinking through his eyes. 'Please agree with me.' thought, looking up at him and biting my lip, wanting for him to just accept me for who I am and not who they expect me to be and who they see me as in their own vision of perfection.
But I knew he would never agree, or see me the way I wanted him too. "Eren," He paused, his voice firm. "Just, listen to your parents, for once." He walked away without another word while I was filled with the burning anger I had tried to keep down all this time, and before I could scream at him about it, he left and I was left with raised eyebrows and an open mouth, surprised by him just up and walking away from me before I could even respond.
I didn't even think again before I grabbed my bag and ran out of the front door, my mom running behind me, yelling at me to come back before stopping at the white wooden steps of the porch, trying to see where I was heading but by then I was just a tiny figure running straight into the large and beautiful forest. I ran to the cliff and sank to my knees from afar when I saw Levi sitting there alone, looking at the sky with a down look, like he was missing something. I was gasping for breath which got him to turn around, his eyes opening slightly before he stood and walked over to me, grabbing my shoulder tightly and looking at me in the eyes, like what I was doing to my father, as if to figure out what he was thinking.
After a while and a short amount of time I was calm and able to speak. "My father and my mother just don't understand that drawing is my passion, and I want to do it!" I threw my hands up, aggravated as I vented out to the only other person other than Armin that I could vent out to. But I couldn't vent out Armin as he was busy with everything going on in his life. "Why don't you just become an artist. You love doing it don't you?" Levi asked, looking at me the entire time. I nodded, but said nothing.
"Then just do as you want." He shrugged. I rolled my eyes, breathing out sharply. "I can't. I need to know that my parents approve of my artist passion; but I know what I love doing and I want to do it." Levi almost cut me off after that, "Why do your parents approval matter? Can't you just go down your own path and lead your own life; the way you want to?" He furrowed his eyebrows deeply, inquiring more. "Yeah I guess, if you look at it that way," I smiled as I felt the soft breeze pass us both. "Here," A box was thrown at me, and I grabbed it, looking at it carefully. "Let's say it is an early Christmas present." Levi looked down at the box, his eyes telling me to open the box. I carefully open the box, facing him as I did so; a smile on my face. "Levi you didn't have-" I was going to finish as I kept slowly tearing the wrapping on the box.
"Don't give me that cliche bull shit. Just accept the goddamn present you brat." Levi rolled his eyes. "There is another one." I added into my list in my mind. "Oh Levi, I love it." I held up the mug, admiring it as it had the word, "brat." printed on it. "Yup," Levi's face softened; making me open my eyes widen and my lips to part, breathless. Levi looked up, meeting my eyes. "What?" He broke the comfortable silence. "N-nothing." I mumbled, rubbing my thumb on the handle, smiling at the word.
"I'll be sure to repay you on your birthday."
And Sure I Was.