Nightmares & Daydreams

Epilouge

Sebastian lay on his stomach, the hard ground beneath him. It wasn't a position he was used to, but seeing as he no longer needed to play the act of butler, proper stance was now irrelevant. He stared dully at the engraved stone writing, the name of his beloved indented into the rock. The grave stood tall, reaching for the sky, right by where the previous Earl and lady lay; Rachael and Vincent. Sebastian reached his hand out and traced the letters on the stone. First the C, then the I, then the E, and finally the L. 'I almost wish you didn't get such a large monument for a grave.' Sebastian admitted to himself. 'It feels strange to see you represented by your status, rather than who you truly were.' He began to trace the last name. 'Maybe I just want you to have a small grave so that I could mourn you by myself. That way, I wouldn't have to share you with all of London and have people who didn't even know you say their prayers to the 'great Earl phantomhive.' Sebastian let out a small, saddened chuckle. "I'm being selfish, aren't I?" He mumbled aloud to himself. "You'd grown on me, Ciel. I've began to feel these things you humans call 'emotions'." Of course, he didn't get a reply. He wasn't expecting one. One of these emotions began to rake at his chest. He turned over on his back the clear, blue sky stretching out in all directions. 'If only I'd felt such selfish emotions when I took your life. If only I didn't listen to you and acted for myself. If only I'd just refused. Maybe I wouldn't be missing you now.' He ached. Everything ached. He felt a tear roll down from the corner of his eye. 'Damn.' He thought, lifting his arm to wipe it away. 'Humans are tough. These things; the emotions, can really hurt.' Sebastian sat up, and wiped his eyes again with his sleeve. "Where's your voice? Your scent? Your taste?" His tone was suddenly distraught. "The little ball of warmth you were beside me. Where is that?" He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. "Where in hell can I find you?"