Leonardo suddenly found himself in dark and eerily still surroundings. Belatedly, he discovered the figures of his two youngest brothers on the ground. They were still, too still. He bent down and felt Donatello's neck for a pulse and let out a sigh of relief as he felt the steady beat beneath his fingers. Michelangelo was much the same.
Suddenly, he heard a soft choking noise from behind him to the right. When he turned around, he found Shredder and Raph. Saki was holding Raphael by the throat, choking him. Before Leonardo could so much as take a step, Shredder released a blade and stabbed the red-masked turtle right in the center of his upper plastron. Raphael's eyes were wide and he made another choking sound, followed by a loud, shaky inhale. He let out a pained sigh as Shredder removed the blade with one strong stroke. Leo's eyes were wide with horror as he watched his immediate younger brother fall to the ground with a thud. Raph's skin was pale, his eyes dull and half-lidded. Leonardo rushed to his immediate younger brother's side.
Shredder vanished into the darkness and it was just Leo and his younger brother. Leonardo could feel torrents of tears running down his cheeks unhindered. He sobbed uncontrollably as he held Raph's face in his hands.
Raphael looked up at him and smiled. "Leo...Leo..." He called as he stared into his older brother's desperate eyes.
"Shh." Leo said. "Don't talk, hang in there, you're gonna be okay."
Raphael smiled again. Leonardo wished he could wipe that smile of his brother's face. It was a melancholy, knowing smile that pitied Leo for not being able to accept the truth.
Leo looked around frantically for something to help stop the bleeding and was going to make do as best he could when Raph reached up and stilled his hands. "Don't Leo, it's not worth it."
A fresh wave of tears began to cascade down the eldest turtle's beak. "No, no please no." Leonardo pulled his immediate younger brother close and pressed his forehead to Raph's, his heart dreading that these might be their final moments together. The tears that were running down his face rained down onto his brother's.
Raph smiled once more, only this time his eyes were also filled with tears. "Don't worry, big brother. I'll be waiting for ya in that big fishpond in the sky. I promise."
Leo's face filled with despair and he sobbed even harder.
Raphael frowned a little, "Hey, don't look so sad. Everything's gonna be okay, Leo. Everything's gonna be okay."
When he spoke, the eldest turtle's voice was rough and broken. "How am I supposed to believe that?" He asked disbelievingly, his voice cracking halfway through the sentence. "You're dying..."
"Shh." Raph murmured, his voice so weak and quiet that only Leonardo was able to hear him. "We all have to go sometime, Leo."
"But not you! Not before me! You weren't supposed to..."
"There is no way of knowing what is supposed to be. You just have to take it as it comes." There was a short moment of silence. "...You know I love you guys." Raph stated, seeking confirmation.
The tears that had been slowly building up in Leo's eyes spilled over. "Of course I do. So do they." That seemed to calm Raph and he relaxed a little.
Raph motioned Leo to come closer and he put his head right next to Raph's, so that the red-masked turtle could speak directly into his ear. "You take good care of them for me."
Leonardo nodded, more tears beginning to form in his eyes. "You know I will."
The second-eldest nodded with a soft smile on his face. His breaths became steadily more shallow. His eyelids began to droop. But he reached up, weakly, with one hand, as though seeking his older brother's had.
Leo gripped his younger brother's bloody hand softly, tenderly. Tears. More salty tears ran in rivulets down his face as his body shook with the force of his sobs. He would never truly recover from this. He didn't want to...he couldn't lose his younger brother. He just couldn't. "Raph please, don't."
Leo's pleas fell upon deaf ears as Raphael smiled and gripped his hand, tightly. "It'll be okay."
"No."
"Leo..." Raph said quietly, staring deep into his older brother's eyes and silencing him. "Not this time."
The eldest turtle was even more devastated than before as his immediate younger brother realized one of his greatest fears. Losing one of his beloved little brothers.
Leo's breath caught his chest. Raphael's hand squeezed his, tightly.
"Don't let this change you, big brother. You three are the best brothers a turtle could ask for. I don't want anything to change."
"Everything is going to change." Leo replied softly, brokenly. "We won't have you."
"No." Raph confessed. "You won't have me." There was a short silence. "But you'll have memories of me." Leo stared wonderingly at his younger brother. Raph went on, "I'll always be right here." The red masked turtle put his hand in the center of his brother's upper plastron, over his heart. "Our bond is just that strong. I'll always be there. Whenever you need me. Ugh." Raphael's grip tightened. His eyes closed and he grit his teeth. His muscles tensed...before going lax. Raphael was gone.
Leonardo stared. For a long moment, he was uncomprehending, numb and unable to move. Then suddenly, he understood. His brother was gone. Raphael was gone. "No, no, no! Raphael please." He pressed his forehead against his little brother's as he used his fingers to close those bright green eyes, once and for all. Finally, Leo pulled away and kissed the lifeless, green forehead of his immediate younger brother in a final farewell. "I love you little brother. I guess this is goodbye...for now." He said, his voice shaking, large tears rolling slowly down his cheeks. "I promise I will do my best to honor your wishes."
Suddenly he heard the sound of someone stirring. He looked over to see Donatello and Michelangelo slowly waking. He knew how hard it was going to be when they saw. The next thing he knew, they were by his side.
Donatello stared down at Raph's lifeless body with horror in his eyes. "Leo...what happened?" The brainiac's voice was breathless and shocked.
Michelangelo stared, tears slowly forming in his eyes. "No...Raphie!" The youngest suddenly shot forward, he clutched at Raphael's side and shook Raph's face, trying to wake him, though he knew it was no use.
Mikey broke down in sobs, and turned to Leo. "Why didn't you do anything? Why didn't you save him?! You're supposed to protect us, why didn't you save him?" He yelled, his voice filled with anger and infinite despair.
Leonardo bowed his head.
Donatello pulled Michelangelo away from the body and hugged the youngest tightly, trying to comfort him as best he could.
Leo said nothing. Mikey was right. This was all his fault. If only there could have been another way...
—————————————————————
Leonardo awoke in his bedroom with tears running down his face. When he realized where he was, he shot up and out of bed in one sweeping motion. Could it be? Was it all a dream? The eldest of the four turtles got up and began checking each of his brother's rooms, starting with the nearest, Michelangelo. Mikey was sound asleep, so next Leo checked Don's room. Donatello, strangely enough, was actually sleeping in his room for once, which Leo was internally grateful for.
As he approached the final door, Leo's hand trembled as he dreaded what he would find. Slowly, he turned the knob and pushed open the door. What he saw made his stomach twist: Raphael was nowhere to be seen.
The eldest struggled to reign in his panic as he dashed into the main room, looking for any traces of his immediate younger brother. Sadly there were none.
Suddenly a soft, shuffling noise from the kitchen made Leonardo investigate. He sighed with relief as he recognized the back of his 'missing' brother's shell. Unable to contain his joy, the eldest pounced on his younger brother, hugging him tightly from behind.
Raphael tensed up and was barely able to restrain himself from lashing out once he realized who it was.
"Leo, what the shell?!"
"Raphael, don't you ever do anything like this ever again!" Leo said, slapping Raph playfully upside the head, overjoyed to simply hear his brother's voice, to see his brother standing in front of him with that 'oh-so-familiar' glare on his face. Leo pulled out of the hug and Raph turned around to face him, which only made the eldest feel even more relieved. This way he could see with his own eyes that Raph had no fatal injuries or bleeding wounds.
"Do what? Go to the kitchen for a midnight snack?"
"Yes!" Leo yelled, pulling Raph into yet another hug.
This time when he pulled away, Raph stared at Leo curiously. "You okay?" The hothead then caught sight of the tear trails on his brother's cheeks. Bright green eyes clouded with concern. "What happened?"
Leonardo shook his head, but Raphael was persistent.
"Tell me, Leo. You can trust me." Leonardo knew he could trust Raphael of all his brothers, Raph was the only one whom he trusted with his secrets and innermost fears.
Slowly, Leo described the dream to his brother, but left out the names, settling instead for 'one of you guys died.'
Raphael frowned at his older brother. "It was me, wasn't it?"
Leo stared blankly at the hothead, not really certain what Raph was asking.
"In the dream I was the one who got killed, wasn't I? That's why you were so freaked out when you couldn't find me."
At first, the eldest looked away, but when he finally did meet Raph's wise gaze, his eyes were clouded with tears. Slowly Raphael reached out and pulled his older brother into a hug. "I'm here bro. And I know that there is no way of knowing was the future holds, but I promise you, big brother, I won't be leaving anytime soon."