THIS PICTURE IS JUST NOT GOOD FOR ME, IT'S LIKE HE'S STARING INTO MY SOUL!!
"She loves me for the way I never leave her and I love her for the thousand secret ways she makes me stay."
- Michael Xavier
Aflame - Chapter 17
I was upset.
No! - completely livid by the fact that Harry would make me feel this way. That he would he even think of saying something like that, knowing good and well that it would hurt me.
Does he not care for how I feel?
And it wasn't a private argument, no, in fact, it was in public where he had humiliated me in front of everyone who walked by.
It was embarrassing and heartbreaking to know that Harry would go through that lengths, and for what?
I finally got home and I couldn't have been more relieved than to know that my Mom wasn't home yet. I don't think I would be able to stand strong in front of her, she knows me too well and would start asking questions that I don't feel like answering right now.
I stomp my way up to my room as I shut the door and try not to cry as anger and upset overtakes me instead.
I throw my bag onto my bed as I plop down onto it as well with my back lied down and my face facing upwards towards the ceiling. I put my hands onto my eyes as I shut them and think on what had happened.
"This was not the way I saw tonight going..."
I let out a sigh as I rest my hands onto my stomach and just lie there staring up at the ceiling, remembering every word.
I then hear how my phone goes off and I know for a fact that it is Harry.
I let it buzz because I wasn't going to pick up, he has tried to get into contact all night already. But I wasn't going to make it that easy for him.
He has upset me and it's not unfair for me to act this way after the horrid things he had said to me.
The phone stops vibrating and I was relieved, but then it started again and I quickly took it out of my bag and saw that it was indeed Harry. I groan at the sight before shutting my phone off so that he can stop calling.
Just as I did this, I heard a noise outside of my balcony that had alarmed me.
Bad thoughts starts to run through my head as I slowly make my way towards the balcony door and slide the curtains open.
I see no one outside, but I still heard the noises and I didn't know who was out there.
Fear overtook me as I start to think that it could possibly be the guy who tried to kidnap me the other day.
What if he came back to finish what he had started?
How did he even find me here?
I then hear a loud noise as I step away from the balcony and my heart beat starts to increase with the thought of someone standing so close to my bedroom whilst I am here all alone.
But I'm not going to be defenseless.
Not this time.
I look around my room for something to use, but I see nothing in sight.
That's when I remember the bat that Alex had left here. Hopefully he didn't take it back home with him.
I quickly go to my closet to make sure that it was there, I push away the shoe box as I notice it lying in the far back of my closet as I get a hold on it.
Just as I had it in my hand, I heard how someone was trying to get in and my breathing became louder as the fear inside of me grew.
I stand up as I hold the bat firmly in my hand.
What if he has a gun?
How can I protect myself with a bat if he has a gun? !
The noises became louder as I step back and thought that I should probably call the police.
But will they even be here in time?
What if he kills me now?
I don't have any time to wait on them!
"Okay, Paige, you can do this."
I speak to myself and I think that I am becoming even more crazy than before.
"Paige! Open the door!"
I furrow my brow as I know that voice, I only see the silhouette of the person outside on my balcony.
I slowly make my way up to the balcony with the bat still in my hand for just in case as I open the curtains.
"Harry? What are you- You scared me!"
I scold at him as he was now stood in front of me and the only thing that is keeping us apart is the glass door between us.
"I'm sorry," He apologizes as he looks at me guiltily and I was upset that he was here after I told him to leave me alone. But a part of me was also relieved that he was here as well and I don't know why. "Can we talk, please?" His eyes then falls onto the bat in my hand. "Without that."
I look down at the bat as I think on his words.
"No, go home, Harry."
I was too upset to speak to him and I needed time to cool down before I am ready to hear another word from him.
"Paige, please-"
I roll my eyes at his plea before shutting the curtains closed and putting the bat away.
"You're going to have to stay out there all night because I'm not going to let you in."
I was relieved that it wasn't a burglar or even the attacker trying to get into my house - but it is an intruder that I really don't want here right now.
"If that's what it takes, then I will sleep out here if I must."
He speaks up as I make my way towards my bed.
"Suit yourself."
If he wants to stay out in the cold then so be it. I didn't tell him to come around. I told him specifically that we need time apart from each other. But I should have known that Harry would never listen.
When does he ever?
I was still upset at his words that he had said to me tonight and I just couldn't get it out of mind. Not when it's still as fresh as it is.
"Isn't she lovely?..."
I furrow my brow at hearing Harry outside.
Wait, is he singing?
"Isn't she wonderful?..."
Oh my gosh, he's singing.
And he sounds really good.
No!
It doesn't matter how adorable he sounds, I'm still livid at him and I couldn't care any less if he was singing for me or not.
I can't fold under the pressure.
I can't fall victim to his spell that he was pulling me under.
I cross my arms over my chest as I try to ignore him.
But... Maybe I should just speak to him. I mean,he's here and it would be better to sort everything out now instead of waiting and prolonging this whole thing. Maybe I should just swallow my pride and hear him out. That's what I wanted all along - to know why he was acting this way.
I get off from my bed as I make my way over to the balcony where Harry is. I open the curtains as I look down and notice Harry sitting up against the door with his phone in his hands.
"Isn't she pretty?..." He continues to sing as I look down at his screen and notice that it is a picture of me. "Truly the angel's best..."
I smile at his words and I notice how his lips form into a smile, revealing those precious dimples of his.
My heart melted at the sight and I couldn't hold back any longer.
I then unlock the doors as Harry looks up towards me with those haunting green eyes, shining brightly up at me before he gets up onto his feet.
I open the door as I keep my eyes low and I step aside to let him in.
I watch as he walks past me and his scent enters my lungs as it makes me feel a familiarity and some sort of comfort.
"Did my singing pursue you to open up for me?"
He questions in that low voice as I shut the door and close it with the curtains, my back still facing him, but I could feel how his eyes were on me.
"Actually, I let you in to get you to stop."
I turn around as I hear his soft chuckle and see how he smiles down to the ground.
"That bad, huh?"
He places his hands into his jean pocket as he then looks up at me with those eyes that tugs at my heart and makes me fall victim.
"You're actually really good." I smile at him before I realize that I should be angry at him and not complimenting him on his glorious singing. My smile fades as I remember the last time we spoke at the theatre. "If what you said back there was to hurt me, then you have done a really good job at doing so."
"That wasn't my intention-"
"But that's what happened!" I couldn't help the way my voice rose at him. I was just so confused as to why he would act that way and say what he said. "You don't think your words hurt people? You don't think that it gets to me?"
"I get that it did-"
"Then why would you even say something like that? Knowing that it's a touchy subject?"
"Because I knew that it would strike up a nerve in you." He was being honest. I could see it in his eyes and then he walks up to him, but I narrow my eyes at him, and he stops just two feet away from me. "I did it because I knew that it would make you feel some type of way, but I didn't purposefully say it to hurt you, it's just..." He lets out a sigh as he looks down this time and a line forms between his brow as I wait for him to continue. "That's just my defense mechanism; saying the harshest things to people, knowing that it would provoke some emotion out of them, just so that they won't hurt me it won't hurt me as much in the end."
"But why would you think that I would ever hurt you?"
I was even more confused at this situation right now as he looks me in the eyes with those sad eyes that looks so innocent, I almost couldn't look into them because they made me want to forgive him right then and there.
"Because you're everything to me, Paige." He tries to reach out to touch me, but I flinch before he even reaches me and then his hand falls down to his side once more before he brings it through his hair. "And once you make someone your everything, you fear that it will all be taken away from you. Knowing that I won't be around for much too long makes it even worse, because I realized tonight how easy it would be to lose you, especially with the move and everything." I look down at the words that comes out of mouth as I know that it was his fear that took a hold of him again. "I know I shouldn't have said what I said and reacted that way and I hate that I did, it's just ... I let my emotions get the best of me. Paige," He then steps closer as he was now hovering over me and I look up at him through my eyelashes as he touches my arm this time. "I'm a broken man, I told you this, that's why I'm scared that my broken parts would end up cutting you so much in the end that you wouldn't be able to take it anymore and just leave anyway."
It was clear that Harry was still haunted by his past and I couldn't blame him for it.
"Just tell me, did you mean what you said about... Madison."
I shut my eyes at her name as all I remember when I say her name is the times that I saw her with Harry, especially at the ball when she was touching him and kissing him that way...
"Of course not and I was an asshole to even bring her up in the first place," He touches my face as he softly caresses it and his touch makes my body fill with something electrifying. "If I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing, I'd chase nobody else but you - just to experience the feeling of falling in love with you all over again." I smile at his words as it calms me down a bit and I could hear the sincerity in it. "Nobody can ever take your place, nobody can be Paige; my little dove." He smiles at his words as he brushes a strand of hair out of my face. "Nobody can make me laugh like you, make me feel the things that you make me feel."
His words were getting to me.
"Harry, you still hurt me anyway." I get out from his grip as his warmth disappears from me and I miss it already. "How many times do I have to tell you that I won't leave you like everyone else did? Do you not trust me? Is that it?"
Just as I say those words I realize that I'm in the exact same position that I had put Harry into the last time. By assuming stuff from him and questioning my trust in him when I saw him with... Her and other girls.
I was being a hypocrite.
"You have every right to be angry at me, Paige." His eyes lowers as he looks down. "I deserve it."
My heart strings got pulled by just seeing him in that position and suddenly I'm the one whose feeling guilty.
"Harry... I'm sorry."
I step closer as he looks back down at me.
"No, don't feel sorry for me, please. It's not your fault."
"But-"
"I want to show you something."
I was currently stood outside as the cool breeze whips past my face and flows into my hair as I watch Harry getting into his car to take something out. He was bent over for a second and to say that I wasn't staring would be a lie.
Harry then got out of the car as he shut the door behind him and then turns around as he is now facing me.
I notice a red rectangular gift in his hand.
"Harry... You've done so much for me, I don't need any more gifts."
"Then don't see it as a gift. See it is a promise." I furrow my brow at him as he hands it to me and I take it from him as I look down and became even more curious as to what this "promise" is. "Happy birthday, babe."
I look up at him as his lips curls into a little smile and his green eyes were brighter than ever as the wind makes little strands of his hair kiss his pouted lips.
"Thank you, Harry. For everything."
I then turn around as I make my way up to the path of my house, but I didn't feel right just yet.
I turn around towards Harry and notice that he was about to get into his car. I see how his back muscles moves as he opens the car door and how his curly hair touches his broad shoulders.
"Harry?"
I call out for him one last time as he turns to face me and he furrows his brow my way.
"Something wrong?"
I shake my head at him.
"No, I-" I bite my lip before continuing as Harry's gaze was making me a bit nervous. "Although I'm still a bit upset with you, doesn't mean that I don't love you."
His smile grows as it reaches his eyes and shows his little dimples.
"I love you more."
I smile at him before making my way inside and I look out of the window as I see him ride off into the night.
I then look down to the gift- I mean, "promise" that Harry gotten for me.
I go to sit down on the couch with my legs crossed as I open the red wrapping paper off.
I then see that underneathe it all was a black... book?
I look down in curiousity as I notice the silver words that were on the front.
'Story Of Our Life.'
And below those words were two little letters; a 'H' and a 'P' and I smile at it and the thought he put behind it all.
I open the black book that looked very expensive as I then see that it is in fact a photo album with all our photo's in there. From the first ever time we took photo's together, until a few weeks ago when him and I were together at the camping trip with the rest of our friends.
I smile at the pictures and how happy we look.
It made me fall in love with him all over to know that he took the time out of his day just to put together something as meaningful as this.
I then get to the end of the pictures and notice that there's a little letter.
I open it up as I start reading:
'To Be Continued...' I smile at the words as I see all the empty sleeves that still needs to be filled. I then see that he wrote some more. 'There is no ending to our memories, nor us. Our always will last a long time - I'll make sure of that. Remember that I'm yours and you are mine, always and forevermore - H. <3'
(A/N: I know that this update took forever and I'm really sorry about that. But I've came up with an idea, if I don't update for longer than two days, then my chapters should definitely be longer than I normally do them. But only if the updates takes longer than two days of course :)
Hopefully that's fair enough :)
If you enjoyed this chapter then please comment and leave your votes! [I don't want to rush through anything, but I'm already bursting because I really want to get to the parts that I'm excited about] But until then, good day/ night to all of you. Love and hugs and all things good your way <3 xx)