─ Audrey
It's a bright summer morning here in Neverland, May 25th to be exact and everyone has a warm smile across their face. Some are even laughing after taking a family photo together, including myself.
I don't have much to complain about though, in fact, I'm quite happy with the company I have today which is of two wonderful women that I don't even know what I would do without.
Beyoncé and Jennifer Lopez, two inspirational women who have never left my side and have made me smile even in my darkest days just like real best friends do and to be honest I am happy to be a part of the Jackson family and everyone loves me as much as I love them.
However, there's something about this family that I happen to despise.
Brandi shook my hand and I automatically diverted my attention to her, "Aunt Dree! Let's go get some ice cream. I want ice cream!" She exclaimed, jumping up and down.
I shook my head with a smile on my face, "Sure thing, Dee." I replied, with a little giggle escaping me.
I let Brandi drag me all the way to the ice cream stall and Jen & Beyoncé decided to follow along. As soon as we reached the massive queue, yes, the Jackson family is huge, I turned to Brandi to ask her something, "What flavour do you want, Brandi?" I asked, whilst observing the range of flavours to choose from.
Brandi pointed to her favourite one as she jumped up and down, "Oooh, I want that one." She requested.
Beyoncé pointed to her favourite one, "And I want that one." She said, as she playfully made a face that made the four of us burst out in laughter.
Jennifer shook her head at Beyoncé, "A'ight, you can get that one." Jennifer giggled, placing her hand on Bey's shoulder.
Moments later, I felt someone approach the queue so I took a quick glimpse around the Neverland grounds as an excuse to see who just approached the queue. Instantly spotting something that immediately made me roll my eyes to the back of my head.
My eyes caught the sight of Michael, who was stood behind me with TJ.
I made sure to look ahead and not look back at him just to avoid his endless bickering later on.
'Why do you always look at me?' or 'Give me a break, you never leave me alone and follow me everywhere' like excuse me but maybe think about giving me a break.
Brandi and Beyoncé got their ice creams and we made our way back to the fairground.
Brandi spotted Siggy and her eyes lit up, "Imma go hang out with Siggy, thank you for the ice cream, Aunt Dree!" Brandi said, running off, leaving me to fall into a trance.
As I was watching her run off, my thoughts were soon snapped.
"So..." Jenny trailed off with a smirk as Beyoncé licked her ice cream cone.
I shrugged, "What?" I questioned, clearly quite confused.
Jenny folded her arms and spoke in soft yet 'gossipy' tone, "Have you two gotten intimate yet?" She asked, innocently.
I looked away, which gave her the answer.
Beyoncé stopped licking her ice cream cone and looked directly at me, "Come on, man. You two are a sexy couple, perhaps the sexiest couple alive, and you gon' stand here and tell me that his stupid ass ain't made a move yet? A whole damn year!?" She exclaimed, raising her eyebrows.
I crossed my arms, looking directly back at her, "Did you forget? You know it's impossible. When he doesn't even speak to me let alone make eye contact, do you really think he'll ever get intimate with me?" I replied, sighing heavily.
Beyoncé shook her head, "Maybe he's no good for ya then," Beyoncé states, playfully.
I giggled, "Ya don't say." I responded.
◇◇◇
As everyone took their seats at the dinner table which looks as if it was designed for the British royalty, I took a deep breath and approached someone I still till this day feel particularly uncomfortable around. "Would you like some orange juice?" I asked, in a soft-spoken tone.
Everyone, including friends and extra guests, were sat at the dining table and the Jackson wives were serving out the dinner. Yep, so that pretty much states my role in this family.
Michael gave me a slight nod and I took the quick hint.
God knows how much I hate him, I can't believe that I still respect him even the slightest bit. He has no respect for me whatsoever unless if we're in the public eye because he can't handle the quote 'torture' from the tabloids.
Being the wife I am, I poured in some orange juice for him whilst mumbling in my head about why I had to marry him.
I put the half-filled jug with orange juice back on the table and turned back to Michael, "Would you like anything else?" I asked politely, flashing him a pearly white fake smile.
"Nah, I'm good." He simply stated, making me shake my head and exhale deeply before walking off.
I thought to myself, 'A thanks wouldn't have hurt. Asshole,' whilst rolling my eyes for probably the fifth time today.
After making sure that everyone was served, I took my place at the table, beside my best friends.
Chris Tucker was sat on my left and I glanced at him as he ate his meal. He quite quickly picked up on my glare and paused briefly, "You mind, Suga?" He spoke up, playfully.
Beyoncé, Jennifer and I slowly but fully turned to face him, us four have been the best of friends for God knows how long.
Chris placed his fork back down on the table, "You lil' girlies, you might not wanna mess wit me." He smirked, shaking his head in a playful disappointment.
"That's damn right, Tucky." Justin Timberlake added, turning to us, nodding his head.
I threw a smirk towards Justin, "I guess somebody wants to get their ass whooped today." I stated, whilst putting a strand of my hair behind my ear.
Justin held his hands up in surrender, "JT...is outta dis business. Spare me, ladies." He said, turning back to his plate filled with food.
As the atmosphere reached a calmer state, I couldn't help but feel someone's glare burn right through me and all I could do was look up and lock my eyes with this person, receiving instant shivers down my spine.
◇◇◇
Later That Day
Everyone had left which meant it was just me and Michael, in this house, actually- this whole land: alone. Aside from the security guards of course.
With the radio set on a low volume, I relaxed my shoulders and allowed the cool breeze flowing in through the open window to flow through to me and through my silky red robe, giving me an even more relaxed state in return.
Faintly, through the distance, I heard Michael's soft voice coming from the studio down the hall whilst I was in the kitchen, preparing his meal for the night which he can be quite strict on might I add.
I listened closely to him as he sang 'Liberian Girl' from his new album called 'Bad' and all I could think about was 'If only he sang like that to me...' honestly, my life would be complete but unfortunately, that's probably too much to ask for.
Truth be told, I honestly crave his love on some days. I can see right through him, he's a good man at heart and makes me smile at times but his dark demeanour and silence scares me and his immaturity towards me makes me despise him even more which I quite openly do. I despise him.
I care for him at the same time too, ugh- all of this is so complicated.
*Beep*
I looked down and caught my phone light up. Upon picking it up in my hands, I saw that I had received a text from Jennifer.
Wanna hang out with me and Bee tomorrow?
⎯ J
Sure, what time?
⎯ A
Bee will text you tomorrow on the details.
⎯ J
Sure thing. Thanks for asking, I love youuu, Jennifer Lopez ;)
⎯ A
I love you too, Audrey Marie Jackson ;)
⎯ J
I put the phone back down on the kitchen countertop and served the food down on the plate.
Taking in a deep breath, I took a hold of the tray that carried Michael's full meal and walked down the hall to find myself stood in front of the door, staring right at it.
I decided to gently place a knock on his studio door which caused the singing to stop and the music switched off which made my shoulders shudder.
Everything went dead silent and Michael still hadn't opened the door.
I was stood there confused and as soon as I was about to knock again he opened the door to find me stood there with his food in my hands. Without even making any eye contact, he carefully took the tray out of my hands, giving me a stiff nod as a 'thanks'.
My heart sank in and I decided to turn around and walk away.
For a full year, I've always held back the tears. I'm not weak, I just don't feel the need to cry, I shouldn't be crying either way anyways.
But, this is what my daily life is like...I can be the happiest I have ever been in one moment and in the other, I have my heart shattered to pieces due to the endless torture of silence. Sometimes I just let him argue with me and I argue back not just to make matters worse but actually because I want to hear his voice and have a conversation with him whether he is at the verge of thinking about murdering me or softening up around me and neither of them happen.
All I have to say is, what a wonderful husband I have. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.
____________________________
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