"Freya, Freya please answer me!"
Luke's voice snapped me out of the rigidity I wasn't aware of being in. My whole body was shaking by now and tears were still streaming down my cheeks.
I had no idea for how long I had been sitting like this on the bathroom floor, but when I felt how much my legs hurt it must have been quite a while since I last moved.
"Please unlock the door, I'm so worried, please Freya"
I crawled across the floor until my hand could reach the door so I could unlock it, just to fall back onto the ground right after.
Everything hurt so much, I couldn't even move without feeling as if I was on fire.
As soon as the lock clicked, Luke pushed the door open and his worried eyes found mine right in front of him. His body knelt down next to me, his foot quickly kicking the door closed again.
Luke's big hands wrapped around my waist to make me sit up against the wall. His fingers rubbed over my cheeks, trying to get rid of the tears that kept silently falling from my eyes. He grabbed some paper towels and gave them to me to wipe my nose, his eyes never leaving mine.
"It's okay, I'm here" He said softly, his hands stroking my legs.
"I-I'm so sorry" I sobbed "I-I d-don't want you to- to see me cry all the t-time"
He just shook his head before taking the paper towels from me to throw them away. His arms wrapped around my waist once again before he heaved me onto his lap, nuzzling his face into my hair.
"Don't apologize for anything. I know what happened"
I let out a big sob when he said that, wondering if Carl had told him about the events that made me the person I was today.
"Y-you know what-what happened?" I cried quietly, leaning back into his chest.
"Yes of course, how could you think I wouldn't notice? I get twitter notifications about the photo as well, even though they aren't as bad as the ones you get. But I still read them. And I saw you reading them in the car."
I just nodded, somehow relieved that he didn't know about the real reason of my breakdown. Of course the twitter comments made everything even worse, but they weren't the main problem in my life.
So I just turned slightly on his lap so I was sitting sideward and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shirt. It was okay that he didn't know, I just really needed someone to be there for me right now, no matter for what reason he was here.
My body was still shaking a terrible lot and I just wished it would stop. My head felt like exploding as well, from the hours of crying and the pain I caused from hitting it against the hard bathroom wall. I was such a mess and it was nearly embarrassing to be seen in a state like this, especially from someone as attractive as Luke Hemmings.
"Do you have that a lot?" He whispered, pressing his lips to my temple.
"What?" I said with a shaky voice.
"Those panic attacks"
"Sometimes, it just needs the right trigger" I said, my voice finally calming down and the tears finally stopping.
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I wish we could shut you out of social media, but I'm afraid it's too late now. I'm so sorry, you really shouldn't feel like that."
"It's okay, it wasn't your fault. If it's someone's fault, then it's theirs." I pointed to my phone that was still lying on the floor.
He just hummed in agreement, his arms wrapping even tighter around my body and his lips feathering light kisses against my head every two seconds.
"I just feel as if I need to protect you. I don't even know why" He mumbled, so quietly that I could barely hear it.
We stayed silent for a long time after that, all I could hear was Luke's breath and my heartbeat decreasing from second to second until it was finally back to normal again.
"Luke? Freya? Where are- oh" Ashton was suddenly standing in the doorframe, looking down on us sitting on the floor, legs and arms intertwined and my head pressed against Luke's face.
"Are we ready to leave?" Luke asked me, tugging a strand of hair behind my ear.
I looked up into his smiling face and nodded, grabbing my phone and getting up from our position. Luke did the same and took my hand before leading me out of the bathroom, following Ashton down the corridor to the changing room.
"Carl is really worried" Ashton called over his shoulder.
I felt guilt building up inside of me. I could have at least told him that I needed some time for myself instead of simply disappearing. I sometimes forget how much I mean to my uncle and in moments like this I know how scared he must be.
"Freya! Where have you been?" Carl embraced me in a big hug before gripping my shoulders to look at me with worried eyes. "Is everything okay?"
I nodded, giving him a small smile. "I just... things have been too much today, I am sorry."
"Do you want to go back to Sydney, Freya? Is it too much for you to be here?" He said, his voice just a little louder than a whisper.
"I- I don't know. I want to be with you, uncle Carl. I just hope I am still able to do all the things I have to do on tour when I have all those bad days. It gets worse every day, Carl, it never leaves me at this time of the year."
He simply nodded, embracing me again. "Oh Freya, I understand. But maybe we can get through this together. I haven't been there for you last year, I think this year will be better when we're together, don't you think so?"
"Yes, maybe. I don't want to leave, not yet. I will try my best."
"I think it might be the best if you go back to the hotel for the night. There will be lots of other after show parties for you, okay?"
"Yeah" I mumbled, letting go of my uncle's hug. I felt the boys staring at me and when I turned around Michael, Calum and Ashton quickly glanced away. Only Luke's eyes met mine.
"I will bring her to the hotel, I don't feel like partying at all." He said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "If that's okay for you, Freya."
"That's a good idea" Carl said happily, shoving me towards the blonde boy.
I smiled weakly at him, taking my bag from one of the benches in the dressing room and then Luke's hand that he was holding out for me.
I loved holding hands with Luke. They were big and warm and he always held onto me so tightly that I felt as if I was in a very safe place.
I waved goodbye to the other boys before we made our way to the car outside of the building on which a chauffeur was leaning. It was the same man that drove us to all the places we've already been to. He was smiling at us before opening the door so we could get in.
"Back to the hotel, Mr. Hemmings?" The man asked.
"Yeah, thank you Mr. Stanley"
Even though the car was quite big as we usually sat here with at least 5 more people, Luke made sure to have me as close as possible next to him.
His hand was placed on my thigh and his other hand hung loosely around my shoulder. I liked the way he treated me, as if I was something very precious. I hadn't had anyone treat me like this since... him.
I tried to get rid of the thought as soon as it came to my mind and leaned my head against Luke's chest instead. His hand that was hanging around my shoulder started stroking my hair in a steady pace as I inhaled his scent. He smelled of some really good cologne, so I closed my eyes to enjoy it even more.
"Don't fall asleep, honey. We're arriving soon." I felt his voice vibrating against my cheek and it made me giggle a bit.
"Still wide awake"
"I see" He chuckled, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
Just as Luke said we arrived shortly after at the hotel and made our way to the floor where we both had our rooms, in different corridors though. Luke insisted on walking me to my room though, even though it was really quite unnecessary. But I knew it would lead up to him staying at my room anyways, so I let him.
I opened my door and walked inside, yelling over my shoulder if he wanted to come in or not. Of course he came in, closing the door behind him.
"I'll just quickly change into my pajamas" I mumbled, grabbing some shorts and a shirt before going into the bathroom. The first thing I noticed was my red and puffy eyes and to keep it short – I looked horrible.
After washing my face for about five times I took some Aspirin from my purse to make the headache stop that was still lingering inside of me. I put some moisturizer underneath my eyes and changed into my pajama shorts and the shirt before finally leaving the bathroom, only to find Luke in his boxers and his shirt lying in my bed.
"I suppose you will stay here for the night then?" I said, switching off the lights.
"Mhm" He hummed, patting the spot next to him. "C'm here"
I crawled over my bed until I was lying next to him, his arms immediately pulling me to his chest.
"You know, I hate to see you so down. I wish I could change that" He mumbled against my skin. "You already mean a lot to me"
"You make me feel better, Luke. You make me feel a lot better, actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You have a very calming effect on me, you make me feel safe." I whispered.
"I'm glad that I make you feel this way. One day I'll make all of the pain go away, I promise."
I didn't reply to Luke's promise, instead I bit down another swell of tears. Luke made me feel so many things at once, I was barely able to contain myself around him. I didn't even know this boy that well but still my feelings grew with every second I spent with him.
This was the second time that he was falling asleep with me and I didn't even know his middle name yet. I didn't know if he had siblings or pets or what his favorite color was, I didn't know anything about this dork but still I felt like I knew him since forever.
"What's your favorite color?" I asked.
"What?" Luke chuckled and his lips against my back made a shiver go down my spine.
"What is your favorite color? Do you have siblings? Pets? Middle name? Favorite food? Band?"
"Blue, I have two brothers called Ben and Jack, I have a dog named Molly, My middle name is... embarrassing and I love every food, except olives. And asking for me to pick a favorite band is just totally unfair. I can't do that."
"What is your middle name?"
"I don't have one, I-"
"What is it?" I chuckled.
"No really, is that important?" Luke whined, making me giggle.
"Say it!"
"Okay... it's Will. Because of Will Smith."
"Shut up, that's not true!"
"How do you know?"
"Because no one would be embarrassed if they were named after someone as cool as Will Smith." I laughed, turning around so I was facing the boy.
"I'll give you that point. My actual middle name is Robert... like, really mom? Why?" He chuckled, his eyes lighting up.
"It's not that bad" I laughed, biting my lip.
"How about you, what is your middle name?"
"Luna" I said, smiling at him.
"Freya Luna Jenkins" Luke smiled back at me. "That's quite unfair, you have such a pretty name."
"I find Lucas Robert Hemmings kinda cute as well" I giggled.
"It's Luke, not Lucas" Luke groaned, tickling my sides. I started laughing as he did so, trying to swat his hands away so he would stop tickling me.
"Now, Freya Luna Jenkins, would you do me the honor of telling me about your life facts?"
"My favorite colors are yellow and green, I have no pets, I love Sushi and my favorite band is 5 seconds of summer"
"You are such a hypocrite!" Luke yelled. "Name three songs of our band"
"She looks so perfect, Good boy? And... um... What makes you beautiful?"
"Oh my god" Luke started laughing really loudly now. "I can't believe you, this is hilarious. You own our album, how come you really don't even know three songs?"
"I haven't had time to listen to it completely okay? Stop being so mean" I pouted, turning away from him.
"Aw no babe, don't be offended now. I was just kidding" Luke chuckled, wrapping his arms around me again so he could pull me closer.
Him calling me babe made me blush so much that I wondered when my head would start melting. How did he do that? He made me feel so many tingles when he was next to me, saying things and stroking my skin. It was nearly impossible not to feel wonderful with this boy lying beside me.
"I'm gonna sleep now" I mumbled. "I'm very offended"
"No you're not, I don't even know your favorite cartoon yet or if you believe in god or not or why your parents named you like that or what your favorite holiday is. We have a long night ahead of us, Luna"
I let out a small laugh. "Okay Robert, when you say so"
His lips pressed a short kiss to my cheek, making me blush again. I was glad that it was so dark in my hotel room so he couldn't see the heat in my face that his touch caused.
"Tell me, pretty lady. I can't wait to know every little thing about you."
-
double update bc I love #fruke so damn much
but wHO DOESNT SHIP THEM TBH
and also just to say it again, have a look at the prologue of the new michael fanfic i started writing!! :-)