Anytime I starts the worrying, a serious headache attacks me and my heart feel likes it want to burst out of my chest.
Mi hate di feeling yf
I didn't want Talia inside of the hospital for various reasons so I left her in the car with Sanjay while I rush inside to see what's happening with Iesha.
Marlon dropped her off a few minutes ago and said the nurses attended to her right away which I was really please about.
Her parents wasn't even here for her but thank God Ms. Mcalla and Tevin is, the moment I spot them I walk over to them.
"Hi, what's happening with her?" I asked as I look between them.
"Dhem rush her in a labor room" Tevin answered.
"She's having a early labor it seems" Ms. McCalla spoke she looks worried like myself.
"I hope all goes well in there" I whispered while praying inwardly.
We were standing at the front of the maternity ward waiting on updates.
A nurse approached us and told us that she's giving birth and someone need to go register her.
"Mek mi go" I offered since I'm the one that knows all her information.
By the time I finish registering her and went back up on the ward, Tevin told me that she have the baby and they are preparing her bed so we can visit her.
In a hour time, we crowd her bed making sure she's ok and for the baby we haven't seen him as yet because of some test that they are running on him.
nephew mi get... mi glad essi juss hope him alrite...
"Yuh hungry?" I asked Iesha as I finish loosing out her hair.
Half a har hair did leggo and stay too bad...
"No, mi a worry bout mi baby" She said biting her nails nervously.
"He's going to be ok, we are praying for him" Mrs. Mcalla said as she look up from her phone, she's on a video call with her husband who is in the UK.
I continue combing her hair then everyone stop what they were doing when the nurse walks in with the baby.
He's so tinny and fragile, he looks like a silicone doll that could be hold in one palm.
The nurse carefully place him inside of her arms and she smile when their skin connected. I step aside to allow Tevin to be at their side.
"Our God is good, I know he would be ok" Ms. Mcalla said.
"Yeah, Thank you for being by her side" I turn to her.
"I would never turn my back on her or my grandson" She smiled.
For the remaining of the visiting period, Tevin arms up their son not giving anyone else a chance to hold him.
I didn't really mind though because I don't like holding baby that young, they are too soft and fragile so I continue to comb Iesha's hair and get her to eat something.
"mi think yuh parents dhem wud a deh ya" I said to her.
"mi neva a look fi dhem enu God know" She mumbled with food inside of her mouth.
"Well with or without dhem, yuh and TJ ago good suh nuh watch dhat"
"mi know... hear mommy she nuh bout mi fi move back in a fi dhem part and mek dhem rent di room yuh build"
"Muss lie dhat" I drop my hand a side with the comb and look down on her. "Iesha try nuh mek dhen do dhat enu... a fi yuh desso and if dhem eva mek problem ova it, mi get bulldozer come mash it dung becaz a mi build it" I argued lowly not wanting Tevin and his mother to hear.
"Mi nah leave mhon, mi more comfortable in a my own space"
"mek sure yuh lock up round deh and bring yuh key wen yuh ago a Ms. McCalla" I told her and she nod.
Shi nuh have a clue fi tek care a newborn suh Ms. McCalla suggest she stay wid dhem fi di help since we mada a move suh
"Yuh cudn't tell mi a suh di pain ago hawt kay kay mi bawl out essi, unu nuh hear mi" she laughed, pulling the cover off the V-soy.
"If mi did tell yuh dhen yuh wud a fraid plus mi neva a expect yuh fi have baby suh quick"
Di stress shi under, him wud a muss born quick...
"Mi glad enu becaz mi can start back school September... Ms. McCalla seh shi will keep him a daytime when mi gone a school"
"Mi love dhat and mi deh ya wen yuh need mi too" I told her.
mi have it in mind to resign soon but a contemplate on it...
________________
☆☆August☆☆
On my lunch, I rush to timeless to collect my man's first birthday gifts then I made my way to the pharmacy for his second gift.
I also got him two cold dragon on my way to his work place. Them will do for now since he will be drinking whatever he wants later at the dance him and his brother is putting on at kirk vine today.
Mi nuh know how him a keep dance and deh a work todeh...
one thing mi ago complain bout fada God sun, it hawt enu and a summa time weh mek it ten times worst...
A breath of relief leaves me when I made it into the cool Station building.
Sanjay have no Idea that I am coming to see him but I know he's here.
mi pass him car outta di front...
Lightly, I knock on his door and he respond for me to enter, when I did, his eyes lit up with amusement.
Him mek it seems as if a long time him nuh see mi and wi lef outta di same yaad dhis mawning...
No mi nuh move yet... Sanjay a delay mi like him think wi ago live together yet... too soon...
mi still a search though.
By Talia should return from overseas week after next, I should find somewhere for us.
Not that I don't have comfort at my man's house but I believe our relationship will be better if we give each other space at times.
Nuh too much enu...
"Happy birthday again baby" I cheered as I made my way inside of his office and over to him.
"Thanks again baby" He mimicked me while his hand snakes around my waist and we shared a passionate kiss.
"I got your gifts and mi cah wait till lata fi give yuh dhem" I told him as I swing them up onto his desk.
"Thanks B, so much gift fi di don" He joked as he takes up the bigger bag and sit in his chair.
"Look pon dhem, mi wah see if yuh like dhem" I said pulling out my phone and finding my snap chat to start videoing.
Taking a seat on the settee arm, I turn the camera at him while he slowly open up his gift.
He takes the wrapper off piece by piece as he eyes me with happiness in his eyes.
"Bomboclaaaaat! B! yow!" he create excitement when he open up the shoes box and see the white clarks I got for him.
My smile gets wider when he moves over to me and pepper my cheeks with kisses, he then takes down the second gift bag and open it up.
"Rawseclaat! Kacian out do mi" He said taking out the black kickers shoes and observe it. "How yuh know mi did wah dhem here B?" He looks over at me.
"Mi tek notice a everything about you babe and mi did hear when yuh and Rojay a talk" I told him.
Mi hear dhem a talk which color shoes dhem nuh have yet and how him ago buy a white clarks and a kickers...
mi nuh like kickers shoes, mi personally feel dhem ugly but him love dhem suh mi affi mek him get it..
"Cum here" He pull me to him making the video stop. With the shoes still in his hand, he cup my face and kiss me deeply.
"Yuh know mi love yuh bad" He mumbled against my lips.
"And I love you too" I mumbled back.
We broke the kiss to catch out breath while he open up his third gift.
I quickly starts back the video to catch his reaction because I know how him crazy over cologne.
Dhis one to be specific...
"Dhen watch how mi baby spend pon mi" he laughed as he pulled out the valentino cologne and drop the wrappers on the floor.
"mi cah believe yuh get mi all a weh mi did ago treat mi self fa fi mi earthstrong enu" He pull me over on his lap. "If mi neva a man, mi bawl enu" He hug me and buried his head between my breast.
"Sanjay yuh too extra" I laughed.
"No, fi real b, mi feel gud yf... think mi can diss yuh fi nuh ooman" He peer up at me. "No ooman neva spend pon mi suh yet baby, yuh mek mi feel like yuh appreciate mi"
"I do appreciate you and good man fi get thingz" I laughed out. "See supm else here" I picked up the bag with the two cold dragon and give it to him.
"A suh early mi a staat drink" he chuckled as he takes one out.
My eyes passes over his desk seeing a picture frame with Talia and I inside of it, it's one of the picture that we took at devon house last month.
I then pick up the other picture frame that have in a drawing of him that Talia did before she left Jamaica.
She seh shi wah be di first to gift him suh a dhis shi do...
"Yuh really frame dhis B?" I laughed as I stretch the drawing to him.
"Yes, mi a cherish dhis fi life... see how Talia draw mi nice" He takes it from my hand and place it back down neatly.
"unu a poppy show" I laughed. "She call yuh?" I asked him.
"Yes early dhis mawning, yuh neva hear" He sip on his drink as his hands find it's way under my skirt.
"No sa and I don't hear from her from mawning enu"
"Shi call mi sa and sing happy birthday fimi, boii mi miss har enu" he laughed.
"me too" I sigh.
He finish up the two bottles of dragon and neatly pack his gift up because he's leaving work today.
"Yuh ago back a work or home?" he asked.
"Mi ago back, mi nuh wah it look like mi nuh care thru mi resign" I told him.
"A true, boii dhem muss ago miss yuh"
"Mi seh and Samantha wah nyam off mi head tuh essi... pure attitude shi a give mi enu seh mi a abandon har and how mi wicked becaz how mi fi lef har one deh" I laughed out.
"She will get use to it, mi glad yuh moving towards something bigger and better" He pulls my lips to him and kiss me once.
After thinking long and hard about it, I decided to finish up the plaza that my dad was building in Santa cruz and start up some businesses.
Nuh know wah kind yet but dhat's di plan
I need the time to graph up my business plan and to mainly focus on that which I can't do while working.
mi have a lot on my plate and everything needs my attention...
"mi too" I agreed with him.
"Thanks again for the birthday gift, mi a wonder which one fi wear lata" Sanjay said looking between the two shoe boxes.
"yuh can wear both, one in the early night dhen change your choice" I told him taking his hands into my. "Sit back down" I lead him to his chair.
"A weh yuh a gwan wid B?" He smirk as he sit back down.
"Giving you another birthday gift" I move to the door and lock it.
"B nuh privacy nuh deh yasso enu" He said shift in his seat. "Dhem will her-
"Sanjay shut up and push back di chair" I order him as I kick my shoes off.
"Alrite boss lady" He sang while pushing his chair back.
I move infront of him and reach of his belt button, he allow me to open up his pants and free his d!ck that's already getting hard.
"Yuh know yuh too rude" He suck in a breath when I wrap my fingers around it and get on my knees.
"I know" I smirked at him for placing his length inside of my mouth.
__________________________
☆☆Later that evening☆☆
My eyes scan across the two outfits on the bed contemplating on if I should match with bae in white or go with the black and white outfit that I like the most.
It is his night and I think he should be the one to stand out so I decided to let him rock his full white while I go with the black outfit.
I careful get dress without letting the makeup mess up my fit, once I got dress and twirled around inside of the body length mirror to make sure the suit is ok on my body.
Gyal sexy enu... watch ass a grow...
backshot do dhat enu... bloodclaat!
"Yuh ago dung eh?" I turn my head towards Sanjay while I put my earrings in.
He's spraying from his head to toes with the valentino cologne I got him today.
"A fi yuh?" He asked as he make two more spray before closing it up.
"Sorry Sir" I rolled my eyes at him then turn back to the mirror to add my jewelries.
"A weh yuh seh, yuh shame?" His hands snakes around my waist and he rest his chin on my shoulder while he stare at us in the mirror.
wi match enu...
"Mine mi make up nasty up yuh clothes enu Jay" I told his as I lean my head further away from his shirt.
He ignored me and starts sucking on my neck causing me to moan lightly.
Leaning in closer to him, I give him full access to suck on my neck.
"watch how wi ago late" my hand find his face, pushing him more onto me.
"Yuh nuh wah mi tap" He said, moving lips to mine's.
Bet him miss him dance...
"Yuh plan to spend di rest of yuh life wid mi?" He whispered against my lips.
"Yes" I moaned inside of his mouth.
"Are you sure?" He pull away from the kiss and look me dead in my eyes.
"I'm sure baby, why?" I asked him.
"Juss wah know we on di same page, know what we want" He peck my lips. "Hurry up, mi ago start the car" He slap my ass before walking out.
His fit
And mine
In half hour's time we parked up outside of Kirkvine. Vehicles are every where and so is people.
The music blast through the air and is even more powerful on the inside.
I scan my eyes across the crowd looking for Samantha, Rojay or Ranae but the crowd was so thick.
The music stop playing as Sanjay and I walk towards the bar.
"Di boss have arrive!" The selector shouted out and everyone eyes fall on us. "Unu stand at attention fi squady..... big up yuh self pon yuh earthstrong Sarge!" He shouted out before getting back to the music.
"Dhem bwoy ya can loud up ppl thing bra" Sanjay hissed his teeth as he keeps his hand firmly around my waist and lead me over to the bar.
That's where I see Samantha and Ranae, The moment we reach up to them, he drag the Smirnoff ice from Ranae's hands.
"Sanjay" She pouted.
"Wah dhis ya drink likkle gurl? Yuh shudn't even deh yasso suh yuh better behave yuh likkle self" He stretch the unfinish drink to the bartender to put a side.
"Mi a nuh pickney enu Sanjay" She frowned.
"Ya how much?" He asked her.
"Sixteen" She frowned.
"Oh ya pickney, humble yuh self before mi send yuh home... nuh alcohol fi yuh and better nuh cum out a mi sight ere likkle girl" He warned her.
"Hmmhmmm" She mumbled.
"Unu watch har fi mi, mi ago haile mi co-worker dhem" He pose to Samantha and I. "Soon come B" He kiss me on the cheek before walking away.
"Mi cah stand yuh man Kacian" Ranae sigh as she turn to order something from the bar.
"Sell out, yuh look damn good" Samantha turn to me.
"How mi sell yuh out now" I leaned up against the counter as I scan my eyes over the shelf. "Give mi a sorrel beer mumz" I told the bartender.
"yuh nah lef mi bout ya resign... mi wah fight yuh essi fi lef mi one and yuh know a yuh one mi have deh" she grumbled as she sip on whatever is inside of her cup.
The bartender hand me the cold sorrel beer and I hold the lower bottom of the bottle while she open it.
di old hitz dhem bad yf... mi rate da selecta ya aready....
"yuh know dhat a nuh di end a wi Sam, nuh mek eh look so" I turn the bottle to my head.
"mi ago miss yuh" He she lean in on me while she fake cry.
"Mi ago miss yuh too" I fake cry as well as I pat her head.
My eyes glimpse beside me and I notice Ranae is not beside us anymore.
"A weh Ranae gone?" I asked Samantha and she raise her head up quickly.
"Shi neva deh right yasso" She said pointing to where Ranae was standing.
dhat likkle gurl wah shi and har bredda in a problem enu...
Samantha and I move further into the crowd rocking to the music as we scan out eyes around looking for Ranae.
Not long after she walks over to us with a frown on her face.
"Weh yuh did deh girl?" I asked her as I continue moving to the soft souls.
"Juss over deh so" She points to the direction. "Mi cah bother wid fi yuh man" she points on Samantha "and fi yuh husband" She then point at me.
Suh Samantha have man and mi have Husband... wat is not dhis...
"dhem juss a watch mi suh and a bad mi up like mi cah enjoy mi self" She complain.
"Juss stay close by and no go noweh wid nuh man becaz some pedophile in ya, dhem nuh see yuh as a child enu suh becareful" I told her.
"Mi know and mi nah do ntn, juss a get to know dhis guy, same age as mi and unu man dhem throw him out a di party... dhat call fa?" she complained.
Cah seh ntn, a dhem likkle sista and dhem affi protect har..
"Cum vibes wid wi man" Samantha hug her up and pull her towards us.
The night continue smooth, Sanjay later steal me away from the girls.
He wrap his arms around my waist and mine's around his neck, we move our body in sync as Savage garden- I knew I loved you starts playing.
"... And there it goes, I think I found my best friend, I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe...
The song bring tears to my eyes, tears of joy ofcourse and being in my man's arms just makes me feel elated.
"LADIES FROM UNU KNOW DI MAN A FI YUH, HOLD HIM UP AND WHSIPER DHIS IN A HIM EARS!" The selector says causing me to laugh at how dramatic he is.
He then continue the music and I did what he said.
"I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into my life...." I sings out to Sanjay.
"Yuh kay? Afta how yuh deal wid mi di fuss time wi buck up" He laughed.
Him juss cudn't remain romantic...
"Nuh yuh did a try run ova mi" I side eye him still vibing to the music.
"No, yuh neva a look weh ya go" He poke my cheeks.
"behave yuh self" I bite at him.
"WE DI INLOVE COUPLE DHEM DEH... SING DA ONE YA... BLOODCLAAT MI WAH MI OOMAN!" the selector bawl out.
He then starts playing this is a promise by NSYNC...
"When the vision around bring tears to your eyes.... Sanjay hold me close and whisper the lyrics into my ears.
"i'll be your strength, i'll be your hope, keeping your faith when it's it gone....
I couldn't contain my laughter yet my shyness, why am I feeling so shy is because eyes are on us like we are the only couple in the room.
"And I will take you in my arms and hold you right where you belong, till the day my life is through.... This I promise you..." He continue singing.
"A SUH MAN FI CRAZY OVA DEH OOMAN, GO THRU MI BOSS... OLE HAR TIGHT DEH SARGE!" The selector create excitement again.
"How's your birthday so far?" I asked him.
"Great, B yuh mek mi feel good from mawning till now" he kissed my lips before releasing me. "And I appreciate everything you did" he smiles.
"I'm glad I made your day" I smiled at him.
"Sarge a your time enu" The selector said and the music tone down.
Fi him time fi wah...
He kiss my cheek before walking up to the stage.
Confusingly, I watch him then my attention tear away when Samantha hold on of my hand and Ranae hold the other.
We walk closer to the stage together, Rojay walks on the stage with Sanjay and whisper something to him before stepping aside.
"A wah wapm? a police cum fi lock off eh dance" I said to Samantha.
A muss dhat and dhem want him fi deal wid eh... but look how much police deh ya...
"Thank you all for coming out to support my brother and I, we really appreciate it" Sanjay starts off, waving to the crowd then his eyes falls on me.
Sanjay don't dw-
"Baby, cum here" He did it and the crowd start looking at me.
Samantha and Ranae guide me to the stairs to go up and Rojay helps me up from there.
"A wah Rojay?" I asked nervously.
"Him muss a wah show di world yuh" He grin before handing me over to Sanjay.
My eyes couldn't stay one place, they were all over the crowd then on Sanjay who's kneeling on one knee with a fucking ring box in his hand, showing off a exquisite engagement ring.
Muss dream dhis... wi nuh reach a da chapter ya yet...
The crowd seems amuse at the show and my hearts starts pumping hard against of my chest.
A mek him affi do it yasso....
"Kay" He chuckled nervously as he stared up at me. "The kindness of your heart, your beauty, the sexiness that your body posses, your vibrant personality, your crazy and miserable side makes me want you to be my wife.
You enter my life when I was at my weakest, your bring me back to life baby, your risk it all for me, you support me and I can't see myself without you in my life, you're my safe space and my best friend..... I want you to be my wife baby, will you accept this ring? He finished his speech and tears fill my eyes.
Dhis is juss astonished and sudden... not something mi did a expect...
"SEH YES GIRL!" The crowd cheered on.
"Real man dhat!" Other's shouted out.
"Answer nuh girl!" Again they shouted.
"Baby?" Sanjay looks at me with pleading eyed.
My passes over the crowd, camera flashing from all angles and then my eyes fall back on him.
"Yes baby" I choked out, pushing out my finger to him.
He slide the ring on then lift me high in the air, the crowd cheer yf.
"Thank you" He kissed me deeply.
The dance then resume and the night went on smoothly.
______
We walk inside of the house something after six in the morning, drained and tired but my mind wasn't at ease.
As I kick my sneakers off and take off my jacket, I drop myself inside of the sofa and wait for Sanjay to close the door as I toy around with my ring.
"Sleep a fuck mi up B" he said tiredly removing his shirt.
I keep quiet just staring at the ring..
"Mrs. Murray, yuh inlove wid yuh ring?" He asked rhetorically as he kiss my lips.
"It's really nice" I said looking down on it before sliding it off. "But I can't accept it right now" I told him as I stand on my feet and stretch it to him.
"Weh yuh mean B?" He looks at me then to the ring.
"Sanjay this is too much, the moving in with you then you asking me to marry you this fast is just not something I am ready for" I said honestly.
dhis too quick...
"Yuh nuh ready fa? Weh yuh mean b?" He asked, his voice sound painful.
"It too quick Jay, not even one year ye-
"What time of to do with love Kacian? If we marry now or ten years later what's the difference... Mi love yuh b and mi know weh mi want and dhat a fi yuh be mi wife right now" He hold my hands, taking the ring to put it back on,
"Sanjay no" I pulled my hand away. "We can't get marry when yuh baby not even born yet, how mi ago know i-
"Suh a di baby a di problem?" He step away from me. "yuh seh yuh ok wid di situation B but each time yuh a bring up di baby, yuh think if mi neva fucking love yuh and want fi marry yuh mi do all a dhat infront a so much ppl and wah hawt, yuh agree infront a dhem dhen a cum tell mi this now" He hissed his teeth.
"Jay a bacaz mi neva wah yuh feel nuh way infront a dhe-
"Mi feel a bloodclaat way now, suh wah?" he shouted. "Ooman nuh know weh dhem fucking want, yuh seh yuh love mi, wah spend di rest a yuh life wid mi but nuh know if yuh wah marry mi? nuh lie to mi dhen cum to mi straight becaz mi nuh in a di indecisive fuckery wid yuh to"
Suh him ago compare mi now... why him wah force marriage pon mi...
"I'm sorry Sanjay and mi neva mean to hurt yuh feelings but I'm not ready" I said pushing the ring towards him.
"Fucking dash eh weh!" He barked and walked away... "Bomboclaat mhon!" The slamming of the door cause me to jump.
With tears inside of my eyes, I place the ring down on the center table before walking to Talia's room.
I climb on the bed and hug her Teddy bear as if it was her...
mi hope him calm dun and try undastand weh mi a seh..
what if wen di baby born things change and him wah a family wid dhem instead...
I hope my decision doesn't affect our relationship...
yuh shudn't tell him yes and dhen change yuh mind...
mi neva wah embarrass him infront a so much people.... sigh
_____________________
THANKS FOR READING...
The end is near...