The main song of this chapter is "Lover" by Taylor Swift.
Amelia
Everything is okay. Everything is okay. Everything is okay. That's what I was chanting while standing outside Mr. Hernandez's office.
It was monday, and also my first day as his assistant. The whole weekend I have done nothing but overthink about saturday. Everytime I closed my eyes, the kiss would replay on my mind as if it was the first time. His touch, his taste and his gentle caresses still lingered in my thoughts.
'This was a mistake'
That's all he said. I mean don't I just deserve a little more explanation than that? The rejection didn't hurt as much as him saying that it was a bloody mistake did.
I opened the door to his office, the cool metal against my palm did nothing to lessen my nerves. Upon opening the door the first thing I noticed was that his office was clean Clean as in not a single thing was out of place and not a speck of dust was visible.
He was sitting on his chair, his back turned towards me as he was looking for something in the shelves behind him. I entered and gently closed the door, skipping the idea of locking it. Being in a confided space with him didn't settle right with me. Especially since our little escapade on saturday.
This morning I debated on resigning as his assistant. Hell I even debated on whether to come in university today or not. "S-sir you coffee"
He stopped his movements for a moment and then resumed doing his work, unfazed and unwavered. I stood idly in the middle of the room, eyes roaming over each and every artifacts and books. He had a huge shelf in the right of the office, maroon rug under my feet, a mahogany desk where his computer was set with some papers and a lamp. A small chandelier hung over the ceiling, giving a soft and warm glow over the room. Honestly his office looks like something from 19th century. But somehow it suited him.
"Put it on the desk", his deep voice reverberated through the room.
I nodded but then remembered he couldn't see me as he was still turned around so I went ahead and placed it on his desk. "What do you want me to do today, sir?"
"I want you to go over the list of paychecks which haven't been given yet. Give me the names of those teachers and write the amount which has to be given. You will get it after adding their yearly payments", finally his eyes shifted to mine but something felt at odd.
His eyes which seemed familiar now seemed cold and distant. He was still professional as before, but he looked a little a ease and now ne looked aa if he wanted to get as far away from me as possible. I knew the reason And I also knew the consequences we would have to face if this news got out but it was just us who knew it happened, no one else. And as far as I know it won't be us telling anyone about it.
I don't expect anything to happen between us again. He has a girlfriend who is far more mature, beautiful and everything that I am not but what I do expect is for him to behave at least friendly. Not the man I feared before.
"Okay", he grunted in acknowledgement. I took that as my que to take the papers and start getting to work.
We worked side by side in utter silence aside from him occasionally asking about how much I had left to complete. Everytime he asked this, the same question rung in my head. 'Was he this impatient to make me leave the office?'
I was on my last file when he spoke again for the 5th time. "How much work is left, Ms. Blackwood?"
And that was it. "Don't worry Mr. Hernandez. The work is done, I'll be out of your hair now"
"No I didn't- Yeah you should go", He said as if he wanted to something else but he restrained himself. I looked at him for a moment, and thought how lucky I was to even kiss him once. I never really thought about these things when I was living with my parents. Boys drama was the last thing on my mind when I had to save myself from daily abuse and try not to starve and die. But since those two men came in my life...let's just say that the feelings I never had before have started to form. And the worst thing is I don't know what to do with it.
I nodded and turned around to leave when his voice stopped me. "Ms. Blackwood, I wanted to talk about saturday"
My breath hitched in my throat. What did he want to say now? Didn't he say enough that day? I mean of course he didn't but whatever he aid was enough to clear up is feelings for me. Which were literally nothing.
The mood was nice, we were close and in the moment he kissed me. No biggie for him.
I reluctantly nodded and turned around, looking anywhere but his eyes.
"Look at me", came the stern command from him, One which no matter how much I wanted to disobey I couldn't. The reason? My stupid incoordination of heart and brain.
His blue eyes pierced directly into mine, the intensity of them made me want to just close my eyes and soak up the feeling of his eyes on me.
"Y-yes", I cleared my throat and spoke again in a clear voice.
"Whatever happened that day was in a spur of the moment. No matter how good it felt or how pleasurable it was, it can never happen again. Cause if it ever came out we would have to face dire consequences. Is that sorted?", his eyes never wavered from mine but they were lying. As if whatever he said was what he thought was wrong, not what he actually wanted.
"If it didn't have any consequences....would you want to happen it again", I timidly asked, trying hard now to cower away from his gaze. I don't know where the confidence to ask this came from but I needed to know it, I needed to know that it wasn't because of me but for me.
"Yes. More than anything", the honesty in his voice convinced me but the words made my heart race like formula 1. It looked as if I had swallowed his heartbeats cause my heart was beating more than ever.
"Really?", I asked again, because the possibility of him wanting me seemed so unreal and surreal.
"I don't lie Ms. Blackwood", unconsciously my eyes went to his lips, the one which I desperately wanted to taste again. Is it possible to want someone so bad that you would want to blur all the rights and wrong and just savour moments with them?
'He looks delicious in this shirt', I thought while looking particularly at the space between his shirt where some of his skin was exposed, showing off his defined collarbones.
I tuned around to leave but paused when my hand was on the handle. I asked without turning around, "Does it- umm does it mean that it wasn't a mistake?"
"I am no saint Ms. Blackwood. I too make mistakes. Some I want to never repeat and some I want to happen again despite their repercussions". I frowned at his vague but left it at that seeing as I had my class soome. Bidding a rushed goodbye I went towards my class.
🤍🤍
"So class, I have graded your essays, check them out and call me if you have any doubt", The annoyingly sweet but shrill voice of Ms. Forbes was heard.
She passed everyone their essay and I knew that I would be getting an A or B. Not less than that. You see, I was the english wizard of our class. No one would score more than me, it wasn't overconfidence or something, just that I was really interested in reading and stuff like Austen, Poe and Emerson like classica.
She started from the back, and guess what? I was sitting in the front. I don't understand her sudden dislike towards me but I was not gonna let her walk over me like that. Who is she to send me in the back without any reason.
When she reached our table, she gave Aurora her paper with a big B on it. Not bad. When it was my turn she looked me directly in the eye, and her smile turned into a smirk if that was even possible. Not the playful one or mischievous one, but the one that screamed 'you are screwed'. Like she was the evil character in some movie.
"Hope you like your grade", she said with her evil smirk and turned around, flipping her hair and sashaying down the stairs swinging her hips exaggeratingly. I turned over my paper and the air whooshed out my lungs and jaw slacked on floor after seeing what grade she gave me. D-.
"What the fuck?", Aurora exclaimed after seeing my paper. I agreed with her cause what the fuck? The paper was top notch, not a single grammatical mistake was seen, there were pointers and highlighted sentences with total knowledge over the topic she gave which was too absurd to be appropriate. 'Power of seduction'. Who even gives these type of topics.
"Is anyone unsatisfied with their grades?", Ms. Forbes asked standing behind her desk. I raised my hands up and sent the meanest glare I could muster her way. My essay copuld be shitty but not shitty enough to get a D-.
'Yes, Ms. Blackwood?", she feigned innocence and came over to my desk.
"I go a D-. It isn't fair-"
"Hold on sweetie, the grades don't depend on fairness or unfairness. You get what you write"
"But I don't deserve a D-. I wrote about everything you mentioned in the assignment box. The criterias are fulfilled and the words are sufficient. So I ask again, Why did I get a D-, not A or B?", I said trying not to raise my voice at her. No matter what she does, I would never drop to her level.
Her nose flared as if she was trying to hold in her anger or annoyance. Her smile which as fake as a bald man's wig, faltered for a second and her lips curled up in a snarl. She quickly composed her features and another sickly sweet smile came over to her overly glosses lips.
"I read your essay and it does not deserve a B, much less an A. So anything else Ms. Blackwood?", she said with a venom filled voice. I clenched my fist to keep in my irritation and not say anything downright insulting.
"I wrote a two page essay whereas hers is five pages long. You gave me a B and her a D-. Why is that Ms. Forbes", Aurora leaned forwards and got face to face with Ms. Forbes. I ducked my face a little to hide the smile.
"It's about the information and quality not the quantity. And you will shut up if you don't want a C", Ms. Forbes nothing but threatens Aurora. My eyes widened a little due to disbelief. What the hell is she saying? Quiet murmurs filled the class, no doubt discussing how unjust Ms. Forbes was being.
"That isn't fair", voiced out the same guy who defended me in the last class. I couldn't help but wonder why is she picking on me all of a sudden.
"Yeah yeah..it's not fair", many people started saying this, many saying that my grade should be increased and the others protesting against her unjust behaviors.
She looked around the class with annoyance clear in her face, after a dew seconds she yelled out in her annoying ear- splitting high pitched shrill voice. "Quiet"
Everyone stopped speaking and stared ahead at her.
She took a deep breath and focused on me. Her eyes now filled with mirth and clear dislike. What did I do?
"Tell your friends to quiet down if you do not want an F", she said each words while getting close to me until there was just little space between us. From this close I could see all her pores and the layer of makeup she had put on.
I looked behind to everyone and gave them a grateful yet a sad smile and slumped my shoulders in defeat.
So much for standing up for myself.
A/N. Samantha is a bitch. Honestly she is just so jealous and fake. I stopped this chapter here cause I had no idea what to add more so....comment and vote.