DIANA
***
Before we started the movie marathon, I took a shower and did my normal night routine. I slipped into Dante's comfy black hoodie that reached my mid-thigh and a pair of baggy shorts.
Dante already sat on the comfy couch that was placed before the big screen TV. I decided to make the popcorn and drizzle warm caramel with a hint of salt on top, which was my favorite.
I joined Dante on the couch sitting side by side with him with one of my legs below my bottom. The screen remained on the very beginning, the camera overlooking the Bronx's buildings at night. Anticipation coursed through me as I was excited to share a movie that felt almost like a part of me with a person I held close to my heart.
The movie opens up with the vibrant aesthetics of the '60s that I always loved. New York City in the '60s painted beautifully by the director.
Calogero was my favorite- He always reminded me of Dante, and, secretly, I liked that. "You always reminded me of Calogero," I whispered to Dante, leaning in closer to him, my eyes still glued to the screen.
"Because we're both Sicilian?" He asked, briefly turning his head to lock eyes with me.
"No," I shook my head, "You both have that ambition and eagerness that isn't very common in a lot of people."
"Plus, you both are Sicilian," I added, smiling sheepishly.
Dante shook his head in amusement, his deeply dimpled smile playing On his pink lips accentuated by the light beaming from the TV and the darkness that consumed the space behind us.
As we watched the movie, I took the flavorful popcorn into my mouth and chewed loudly, expecting to get a reaction out of Dante. I earned occasional sideways glances from Dante. "Could you chew any louder?" I noticed the smile that threatened to tug at the corner of his lips.
"Shhh, and watch the movie."
•••
DANTE
Soon after the movie started Diana Let out multiple yawns but claimed to not be sleepy. Now, she lay asleep on the couch with her head on my shoulder and her mouth slightly agape, showing her two front teeth.
Each time I glanced at her to make sure she was still peacefully asleep, I quietly laughed to myself, more than amused at how adorable she looked when she was asleep.
I didn't expect Diana to be so right about the similarities between me and Calogero. Calogero's relationship with his father and Sonny depicted exactly how I felt with my father and uncle. It was like I was torn between being what my father felt like I was destined to be- To step into his shoes and be the man he was and more.
My relationship with my father was always one that was a sensitive subject, something that I couldn't quite ever describe except for it feeling so distant like a thick wall placed in between, making my father feel out of touch. I could never understand him and he could never understand me. We rarely agreed on anything and I could never relate to my father. It didn't help that I didn't know my father for the person he truly was- All I knew him as was my father, a title I had not believed fit him but rather a title I'd been taught to call him by.
My uncle's advice consisted of being a good Sicilian citizen, obeying the law, and not conforming to the stereotypes of our people, to be authentic.
My father and my uncle were two completely different people; "While my uncle ran the trattoria as a means to distance himself from organized crime, my father embraced what he felt he needed to become, no matter what he knew he and his heart wanted. That's what he had thought my uncle would do as well- I knew my uncle enough to understand the fact he'd choose what his heart would tell him over anything, a quality I inherited from him.
My father and uncle were always important figures and my life, despite how much they argued and disagreed, one thing they did have in common, was that they both loved me dearly.
The story of Calogero and Jane's relationship resonated with me profoundly, as it felt like a reflection of the history that Diana and I shared. Every little detail, from their walks to the moments of stolen intimacy, felt like a page out of our book. I could even relate to the way Calogero first met Jane on the bus- I remember that same feeling when I first laid eyes on Diana. Still as beautiful as she was years ago, that same Diana I fell in love with at the age of 15.
As I watched their love story unfold onscreen, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia and longing for those earlier days of our relationship. And while I didn't want to admit it to Diana, I found myself enjoying the movie far more than I had expected.
•••
DIANA
My eyes fluttered open to the bright light of the TV. I remained quiet, continuing to watch the ending of A Bronx Tale, my head still comfortably perched on Dante's shoulder that seemed to be made out of steel and unmoving.
Though I rewatched the movie multiple times, the ending always seemed to get me worked up. Sonny was killed after Calogero finally agreed to change for the better, and their story looked like it was only going to get better. Movies always got me with that-life hitting the protagonist hard with the harsh reality of never being able to sit in solace, reveling in the peace and quietude of a happy ending, despite the longing for something that the watchers already knew could never be. Tears stung at the corners eyes as the scene played out in slow motion, building up an anticipation of what I knew came next.
The scene of the funeral lightened the mood, Sonny saying his last goodbye and saying his final words:
"I learned something from these two men. I learned to give love and get love unconditionally. You just have to accept people for what they are and I learned the greatest gift of all: The saddest thing in life, is wasted talent."
C's words lingered in the somber air, each syllable carrying a profound truth that resonated deeply in my thoughts. It was a moment of clarity, a reminder of the importance of embracing love and cherishing the gifts that each individual possesses, including yourself.