No KitKat comments. I hate my name more than you think.
(uk is unknown)
Me: HE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uk: ...
Uk: wrong number?
Me: Oh. Sorry.
Uk: it fine
Me: HE BROKE UP WITH MEEEE
Uk: Still wrong number.
Uk: Shit guy tho
Uk: He is.
Read 12:30
Uk: I'm bored.
Me: so...y u come 2 me?
Uk: Idk. im just bored.
Me: Im a complete stranger.
Uk: ya
Me: what if im a killer?
Uk: then we'd have a nice conversation
Me: what if u r a killer?
Uk: I'd tell u.
Me: What if u die and ppl blame me?
Uk: stahp what ifing dis. it annoying.
Me: Idk ur name.
Uk: Leo McShizzle Valdez, Bad Boy Supreme, at your service.
Me: ur name is McShizzle?
Uk: Nah, just a name I made up for me.
Me: oh
Uk: wut ur name?
Me: Kat Kitt Weaver.
Me: No comment.
Uk: I wasn't going to.
Uk: KitKat.
Me: Shut up.
Me: I need something 2 change ur name 2.
Uk: that1leo
Unkown has been changed to: that1leo
Uk: wut bout u?
Me: wut bout me?
Uk: wit do I change ur name to
Me: Oh
Me: uh
Me: kittiedatgurl
that1leo has changed your name to: kittiedatgurl
Read 3:23
that1leo: HELP
kittiedatgurl: wut
that1leo: 🎶They say I did something bad, Then why's it feel so good?, They say I did something bad, But why's it feel so good?, Most fun I ever had🎶
kittiedatgurl: wut u did
that1leo:
that1leo: im the one in red overalls.
kittiedatgurl: ur cute
that1leo: ikr
that1leo: blondy turned around and saw me
kittiedatgurl: wut about guy with black hair
that1leo: left at just the right moment 😭
kittiedatgurl: ...
kittedatgurl: and?
that1leo: and now I'm being chased by a very angry very blonde superman.
that1leo: i might have to start a fire
kittiedatgurl: how big a fire
that1leo: just, like, a distracting size?
kittiedatgurl: so...how big is distracting?
that1leo:
kittiedatgurl: huh
kittiedatgurl: lmk what happens
I switched contacts.
kittiedatgurl: Cara
caradatcutie: wut
caradatcutie: make it quick
caradatcutie: I'm eating
kittiedatgurl: I think I might have a crush
caradatcutie: ...
caradatcutie: Y DIDN'T U SAY SOMETHING EARLIER?
caradatcutie: SEND ME A PIC NOW.
kittiedatgurl: he's the one in red overalls
kittiedatgurl:
caradatcutie: he fiiiine girl
kittiedatgurl: ik
caradatcutie: wut he like?
kittiedatgurl: lol, with some but of wth
caradatcutie: he single?
kittiedatgurl: of idk lemme ask
I switched contacts again
kittiedatgurl: yo
kittiedatgurl: hope ur still alive
kittiedatgurl: me friendy want 2 know if u single
that1leo: yes.
that1leo: and no.
kittiedatgurl: coolio
Switched contacts again (again)
kittiedatgurl: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
caradatcutie: he taken?
kittiedatgurl: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
caradatcutie: u gonna be okay?
kittiedatgurl: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
caradatcutie: wanna hug?
kittiedatgurl: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
kittiedatgurl: yes
kittiedatgurl: ty. I needed it.
caradatcutie: aw honey, u don't need to say it.
kittiedatgurl: wat our game plan
caradatcutie: Burn the house
kittiedatgurl: downgrade it pls. no homicide allowed
caradatcutie: fine. gimme his number.
caradatcutie: i'll reap them deets from him
kittiedatgurl: ...
kittiedatgurl: low-key scared here
kittiedatgurl: insert random number
caradatcutie: thx darling🙃
kittiedatgurl: no homicide
...POV and Contact switch...
Me: do we truly know what happens after death?
Me: what if we just keep falling?
Me: what if there is no heaven or hell, only nothingness?
Unknown: deep convo, but u got wrong no.
Me: Oh.
Me: Who dis then?
Unknown: ...
Unknown: not who ur looking 4?
Me: wut u think?
Unknown: What if it's just three sections. 1 for paradise for those heroes and good ppl, one where u walk around aimlessly for ppl who didnt do enough good or bad to count, and 1 for eternal torture for them bad ppl.
Me: Interesting opinion.
Read 4:07
Me: wyd
Unknown: lighting myself on fire for fun 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻
Me: ... ur not actually
Me: r u?
Unknown:
Me: I will f****** call 911 if u don't tell me this is all a f****** joke.
Unknown: I would be lying 🤥
Me: r u dead
Unknown: Nah, the emergency room does wonders. u would be surprised
Me: oh. u there yet
Unknown: no
Me: u hv a girlfriend
Me: cuz u psycho af
Unknown: yea i do
Me: wut her name?
Unknown: Calypso. nosey
Me: I shall neither confirm nor deny that I am nosey, and instead ask how she looks like.
Unkown: suuuuure...
Unknown:
Me: she hot
Unknown: u say like i don't know 🙄
Me: is she nice
Unknown: ...
Unknown: *thinking*
Unknown: *intensely thinking*
Unknown: I mean...sometimes?
Me: she bitchy?
Unknown: sometimes. In a cute way.
Me: she go to work or something? or she has a part time job being crazy
Unknown: I am concerned for her safety now.
Me: don't be. she have work
Unknown: yes and yes. anyone who's my friend (or gf) has to be un poco loco
Me: where she work?
Unknown: u sure u not stalking me
Me: *thinking thinking thinking* pretty sure i'm not
Unknown:
Me: I do what I want to do
Me: can i have her number
Unknown: why, and no
Me: so i can bond with her over ur loconess
Unknown: still not happening
Me: fine
Contact change
caradatcutie: gurl, u was right. he a gem 💎
kittiedatgurl: i told u. deets?
caradatcutie: her name is Calypso.
caradatcutie: and girl, she gorgeous
kittiedatgurl: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
caradatcutie: BUT
kittiedatgurl: 🤔
caradatcutie: he said she's not always nice and bitchy sometimes
kittiedatgurl: I hv a chance?
caradatcutie: ya gurl
caradatcutie: I couldn't find out where she work n her number tho
kittiedatgurl: guess?
caradatcutie: it's a dead end girl
kittiedatgurl: fair enough, ig
Read 9:00
kittiedatgurl: CARA
caradatcutie: wut
kittiedatgurl: I FOUND HER
caradatcutie: who what who when where who why how who what who
caradatcutie: did i ask who
kittiedatgurl: My mom always goes to this place
kittiedatgurl: The Greek Garden
kittiedatgurl: she goes there for flowers, getting stuff fixed....
caradatcutie: ily, but cut to the chase, kittie
kittiedatgurl: I went there cuz she needed a flower and then I saw her working there
caradatcutie: again, who
kittiedatgurl: CALYPSO
caradatgurl: YES
kittiedatgurl: I asked if I could work there for a (few) week(s) for some moolah
kittiedatgurl: mom said yes. TGG said yes
caradatcutie: JACKPOT
kittiedatgurl: IKR
Read 12:30
Coming out of chats...
I put on my uniform for my first day on the job. It was a deep forest green apron with a picture of a tree with golden apples. I wore a long sleeved white shirt under it, with blue jeans. I looked okay.
-----fast forward brought to you by Damasen (One week later)-----
kittiedatgurl: nice shirt
that1leo: ????
kittiedatgurl: The only person on their phone here?! 🙄
kittiedatgurl: I work here.
He looked up and waved. Then he pulled out a ring. She said yes. I quit a few days later. Why a few days? I still needed moolah. I got my pay before leaving, because I'm not stupid.
Not going to include word count. It's high. And this is not exactly a oneshot. Thanks for reading, Astoria <3