I wound up falling asleep on my bed with the lights on, in the clothes that I had gone out to eat with Riley in.
When I got up, it was just past 4 AM.
I immediately found myself looking at my phone, to see if Riley texted or called me.
I should be with her right now.
I did see that I had two unread texts from her. One was sent at 12:37 AM, and the other was sent 20 minutes later.
The first one read: I'm sorry, Jenny. I'm seriously regretting dropping you off. You were right, we should have just resolved it at my place.
The second text read: I'm guessing you're asleep. Wish I was next to you. I love you.
I felt my heart skip a beat as I looked at the texts.
I knew that she was likely asleep, but I texted her back and said: Yes, I was asleep. It's okay, we were just miscommunicating. I love you too.
I sent the text, and a minute later, my phone started vibrating, with Riley's name showing as the caller.
I guess she isn't asleep.
I answered, "Hi. Have you even slept at all?"
"No," Riley said back, "I just don't really feel tired. I know you got my texts, but I just wanted to reiterate that I am sorry. I shouldn't have just dropped you off. I feel really terrible if I upset you, which I'm sure I did."
"I was upset," I said back, "I think it would have been better to just resolve it then and there."
"I agree. Once again, I'm truly sorry. I've been missing you all night. I know it's going to sound crazy, but could I come pick you up right now? There's no fucking way I'm falling asleep. I thought that maybe I could drive us down to the beach and we could watch the sunrise together."
"I'd love that," I said, feeling myself smile, "See you soon?"
"I'll be at your place in less than a half hour."
I changed out of the clothes that I went to dinner in, and put on a hoodie and leggings. I knew it would likely be chilly at the beach, as it was still March.
When Riley pulled up to my house, she had a coffee for me as well.
"I stopped at Wawa," she said, smiling at me as I got into her car, "I figured coffee could keep us both awake."
"Thank you," I smiled back at Riley, "I'm really glad to see you, even though it hasn't been very long."
"Let's make this car ride better than the last one," Riley said to me with a playful wink, and I couldn't help but laugh.
Riley blasted music, mostly throwbacks, as she drove us down to the beach. She decided to take us to Spring Lake Beach in New Jersey, which was a little over an hour's drive.
When we got to the beach, we walked up the wooden ramp leading to the beach hand in hand and then sat down by the sand dunes. We had likely over an hour until the sun rose, but I didn't mind sitting on the beach with Riley one bit. We watched as the waves lightly crashed into the sand in front of us, Riley's hand still in mine.
She turned to look at me, "What I did to you tonight reminds me of something I would have done in my last relationship. Avoiding communication rather than working it out then and there. I promised myself I wouldn't act like that again in my next relationship, so I am pretty disappointed in myself."
"It's okay," I reassured Riley, "We were both upset. Maybe it's better that we were both able to cool off before seeing each other again."
"I get that, but I still definitely regret it," Riley said back to me, "There's something else as well. I don't want you to think that I was just brushing off how you feel about your parents. I understand that even though they've been so lousy to you, at the end of the day, they are your parents and I know it really upsets you how they've reacted to your sexuality."
"I just don't get it," I looked at Riley, "Why have kids if you're not going to fully accept them for who they are? It baffles my mind."
"Believe me, it baffles me too. Even though my mom was, well, my mom, she had zero issues with me being gay. It was a non-factor to her, she told me that I didn't even need to come out to her."
"That's the kind of parent I want to be. Not like mine. I hate that I have this hope that my mom is going to call me and apologize. I shouldn't have it, with how she's treated me."
"You can't help it," Riley said, "And that's okay. It hasn't even been that long since you came out to them."
"You're right, it's only been a few months. I guess I just worry that when I move, I'll never speak to them again."
"If that happens, that's on them, Jenny. I know that relationships are a two-way street, but they are the ones that don't even try at this point. It's not up to you to build that relationship again. Just know that I am here for you, no matter what. I always am, and I always will be."
"I'm so lucky to have you, Riley. You are my future, not my relationship with my parents. I need to focus on that."
Riley leaned over and kissed my cheek, "All I want is a future with you."
As we sat next to each other and watched the sunrise, I glanced over at Riley. Her eyes were straight ahead, looking at the sun blooming over the ocean.
This is my future. Sitting right next to me.
At the beginning of April, Riley officially told Hailey that she was going to take the position in Colorado. I knew that I had to tell Hailey that I was going to be moving there with Riley.
"What am I going to do if there are no positions available at the location in Colorado?" I asked Riley, "I'm going to feel really bad if we move and I have no job lined up."
"If that happens, that happens," Riley responded, "You'll get a job, I'm not worried about that. I don't want you to be either."
The day after Riley told Hailey that she was going to take the position, I asked Hailey if I could talk to her. It was Wednesday, so I was in the office. As I walked into her office, I felt nervous to tell her that I was going to be moving as well.
"Hey Jenny," she said as I sat down across from her, "What did you want to talk about?"
My heart was racing as I said, "I'm planning on moving to Colorado with Riley."
Hailey gave me a knowing look, "I figured that was coming. I already asked the Colorado office if they have any open account manager positions."
My eyes widened, "Oh. Thank you, Hailey. Do they?"
"They unfortunately don't," Hailey said, and I felt my heart sink. She then said, "However, they do have an open position in recruiting. You would help hire employees for the company."
"I would definitely be interested in that."
"I think you'd be good at it. You're friendly, and you know how to talk to people. The head of recruiting over in Colorado, Layla, wants to speak with you before officially giving you the position. But I'd say that your odds are very good. I'm going to give her your contact information, and she will set up a video call."
"Thank you," I said, feeling my heart rate slow down, "I really wanted to stay with the company."
"I know. You're an asset, I definitely didn't want you to have to leave. I'm going to miss you and Riley a lot, and I know everyone else will as well."
"I'm going to miss you, and working in this office as well," I said to Hailey, "When should we start telling everyone that Riley and I are leaving?"
"I'd like to make a formal announcement," Hailey said to me, "I was even thinking today, at the end of the day. I'm just going to check with Riley first."
Riley agreed to have Hailey announce our departure at the end of the day, and a half hour before work was over, Hailey had us all gather in her office, which was large enough to fit all of my co-workers comfortably.
"What's going on?" Danielle asked, "You're worrying me, Hailey."
Hailey then said, "I wanted to officially announce that Riley has accepted a promotion at the company, in our location right outside of Boulder, Colorado."
There were a couple of gasps in the room.
Hailey continued, "The position is Account Manager Executive, so technically, if Riley were here, she would be my boss."
"Oh my god, Riley. Congratulations!" Danielle said, and everyone else started joining in. I noticed that Riley was smiling, but she looked bashful.
"That's not all," Hailey said, "Jenny is going to be moving with her, and will likely take on a recruiting position at the Colorado office as well."
Danielle, who was standing next to me, wrapped me in a hug.
"I'm so happy for you both," she said, "But I am going to miss you so fucking much."
Danielle then turned yo Hailey and said, "Sorry for the language."
Hailey chuckled, "It's fine, Danielle. I'm going to miss them a lot, too. I know that we all are."
In the moments after Hailey announced the news, it all started to feel very real. I looked at Riley, who was standing a few feet away from me, and noticed she was already looking at me.
I was sure we were both thinking the same thing-
We're actually doing this.