Day 21 of living in your father's cult. 24 days until your 18th birthday.
You collapsed onto Ainsley's chest. This wasn't the first time the two of you hooked up, and it certainly wasn't the last. Gasping for air, you grabbed an old rag that was in the car to start trying to clean yourselves off. The car's windows were heavily fogged. You chuckled and started getting your clothes together while Ainsley just laid there on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.
"You know," he sighed, "This used to be my parents' car." You glanced at him.
"Really?" He nodded.
"Before we came to the commune. I had a different name. They did, too. We had last names and everything. I went to a school. Brie hadn't been born yet." You smiled and listened intently while getting dressed.
"Why did you join the commune?" He shrugged, spacing out at the ceiling.
"I don't know. One day, Mom and Dad just kinda packed up my stuff and took me away. I don't know where I'm actually from. I don't even remember my old name. I just remember I had one." You traced your fingers over the red splotches on his chest. You still hadn't talked about his scars.
"Come on," you sighed with a smile. "We have to get back soon." He nodded defeatedly and moved to get dressed. This was the worst part of every day. The end of your alone time.
You had been having sex pretty much everywhere you could without being caught. The cars, the woods, in town, in the kitchen in your big house. Everywhere. The thrill of almost being caught was intoxicating in its own way. For Ainsley, being caught could mean death. But it was worth the risk to him. Anything for your pleasure. The shameful excitement only added.
The two of you leapt from the car, only to find that it had begun snowing whilst you were messing around. You returned to the commune to find people huddling for warmth in the fields. You checked your phone.
It had been weeks, and there was still no evidence you could send to Officer Giamo. You were giving up already. Maybe it was just some mistake, some one-time thing. Whatever. As you walked through the snow-dusted compound, you checked in on people. Father Carlisle had commanded you to do this daily. You went door to door, checking on each family to give them hope and to make sure all was well.
Ainsley usually came along, following like a good dog. He was always your good dog.
When you had travelled through all the houses, and checked in on the field, that's when you saw it. A man stood alone, aimlessly trudging through the snow-covered walkways. His eyes looked empty, his mouth hung open slightly. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought he was a zombie. You approached him cautiously, you couldn't remember his name.
"Hey," you called out. "Hey, are you okay?" His dull eyes turned to you, his expression not changing. "What's your name?"
"Leonard," he grunted out, looking you up and down in surprise. You tilted your head to the side.
"What's wrong, Leonard?" His gaze turned to the ground.
"My sins are nothing that can be forgiven by the paragon."
After that ominous admission, he trudged onward. You looked at him worriedly. What the hell was that? You turned around to talk to Ainsley, only to see Father Carlisle standing tall a few feet behind you. His sudden presence made you jump.
"Paragon," he cooed, "No need to check in on the likes of Leonard. He is fighting demons that only he can fight." Your father draped an arm over your shoulder. "Come now, we have more pressing matters to tend to." You walked with him awkwardly.
You didn't like your dad, for many reasons. Being crazy, abandoning you and your mother (to your knowledge), never reaching out, never sending letters, starting a weird doomsday cult in your name. Most dads send out birthday cards. Not yours, though. No, yours makes a whole-ass cult in your name. Splendid.
Ainsley let Father Carlisle draw you away. Ainsley's mind was always preoccupied. When was he going to get you alone next? He loved seeing you, he loved feeling you. The taste of your skin and the scent of your sweat permeated through his mind every moment of every day. It was never enough.
The knowledge that he would have to send you away, to let you go mingle with the others hurt him inside. He wanted this alone time to last forever. But off you went.
Ainsley supposed he should go find Kalaya. He hadn't seen her around in a while, but he had so much he needed to tell her. Plus, he needed her to retwist his locs. As Ainsley walked to the fields, he didn't see her. He went to the fire pit where some people where cooking their midday meal. It smelled delicious, but Kalaya wasn't among them.
Ainsley was getting anxious now. Something bad happened, he could feel it. Kalaya wasn't anywhere. He rushed to her home, where she lived with her father and sister. Ainsley knocked on the door twice before the door opened. Kalaya's father stared down at Ainsley with sad eyes.
"Seth," Ainsley started, "Have you seen Kalaya anywhere?" He shook his head slowly.
"I haven't seen her in weeks," he mumbled. "I spoke to the Paragon, but they didn't help. I can't find my baby girl anywhere." He looked to be on the verge of tears. Before Ainsley could do anything to comfort him, the man slammed the door.
Kalaya was gone. How? How had Ainsley not noticed his best friend missing for weeks?
He trekked around the whole compound looking for her for hours. She was nowhere. He asked seven different people. No one had seen her. Ainsley's heart was pounding in his chest. Could she have run off with that lover she mentioned? There's no way. Ainsley never even knew who it was, only that it was an older man.
Caleb suddenly tapped Ainsley on the shoulder, making him jolt out of his hazed worry.
"Caleb, have you seen Kalaya?" Caleb furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.
"No, but the Paragon would like to see you in the worship room." Ainsley cocked his head to the side.
"Worship room?"
Ainsley entered the big house and went down the hall. What had once been a large room to store food in was now cleared out, but had what looked like a stage to the wall opposite the door. There were pieces of wood strewn about, and above the altar was hanging a large wooden circle with what looked to be a star above it. You stood in front of the altar, waiting for your guard.
"YN?" he asked, looking around. You turned to look at him.
"Dad said they're making this so people can worship better in the winter," you said with a rather disappointed sigh. "Like, I want people to be inside for the winter time, but... I don't know. It all seems over the top. Why not just let people inside?" You leaned against the wooden altar as Ainsley approached.
"Well, you deserve all the worship," he murmured with a cheeky smile. You smirked back. And pushed yourself up onto the altar so you could sit.
"It's kinda creepy, don't you think? I feel like they're going to end up crucifying me on that thing." You motioned to the wooden circle. "It's just.... It's just weird. We needed the food storage space, not another place for dad to act like I'm some angel." Ainsley stepped between your thighs, setting his hands on your sides as he leaned close to you.
"You are an angel," he whispered. You set your hands on his shoulders.
"I'm not," you sighed in response, "I'm just a person. I'm just a dumb, normal old person. I don't want this."
"Hey," Ainsley cooed, "You're a god. You're my god." You rolled your eyes and pushed him away softly. Then came the sound of footsteps from down the hall. You very quickly pushed him further away, and with greater force. He almost fell back with lack of warning.
Father Carlisle turned the corner, seeing you perched on the altar and Ainsley simply a few feet away. Your father stopped in the doorway with a smile.
"YN, my dear," he grinned, "Are you enjoying the worship room as of yet?" You forced a smile and nodded, kicking your feet out on the altar. "Good, good, good. I'm glad." He turned his eyes to Ainsley, who awkwardly fiddled his hands together. "Ainsley, my boy." Ainsley perked up. "Don't you forget. Idle hands and listless minds fall prey to a gleeful devil."
Ainsley nodded, and Father Carlisle continued on down the corridor. You rolled your eyes once you could no longer hear his footsteps.
"I think he means 'idle hands are the devil's plaything'," you sighed.
Ainsley approached the doors of the worship room, looking down both sides of the hall. He was already anxious, between Father Carlisle randomly coming in, and Kalaya seemingly disappearing. He felt awkward and out of place.
"Hey, puppy," you called in a teasing voice. Ainsley perked up and turned his head to you. You smirked devilishly at him. "Lock the door and come worship."
Suddenly, all anxiety was gone. He couldn't think about anything more than you laid out on that altar. He shut the door quickly, turning the small lock, before practically running across the large room. He fell to his knees in front of you, back straight and head tilted up. You simply smirked down at him.
"Good boy. Bark."
"Arf!" he exclaimed obediently. You reached out your leg and ever so gently tilted up his head with the tip of your shoe.
"Take it off and worship." You had been through this enough times. He knew exactly what to do through every step. He untied your shoe, pulled it off of your foot, set it on the floor, and kissed the sides of your barefoot. "Good boy."
He kissed the top of your foot then to your ankle, then up your ankle to your knee, moving aside your commune garb until you were fully on display for him upon the altar.
"Who's a good boy?"
Father Carlisle paced back and forth in the library. This wasn't good. Not good at all. You thought he couldn't see you, but he could. The old man moved aside one of the books in his bookshelf, then silently removed a small wooden cut out from the back of the bookshelf. From there, a hole through the wall and into the worship room made it so he could see exactly what was happening.
There was his precious paragon, and the man he himself trained to protect them, using them for physical pleasure. He could hear their soft moans, see Ainsley's hips thrusting on the sacred altar. Father Carlisle crossed to his desk, reached into the top drawer, and pulled out a polaroid camera. He poked the lens through the hole in the wall, aimed at the altar. With the size of the hole and the distance, you wouldn't be able to hear the click or see the flash.
One, two, three pictures. They came out one by one, and he shook each one of them. He recovered the hole and replaced the books before turning to the sinful pictures. He plucked a book from another drawer, this one was bound in black, like many of the others residing on the top shelves. He opened the book to a blank page and tucked the polaroid pictures in before closing it.
"Fuck~!" you moaned rather loudly as you came yet again. The altar was wet with cum and sweat from both of you, but Ainsley wasn't quite done. Two times having sex in one day? He wasn't going to let this pass.
His thrusts were getting sloppy, your sensitive hole was getting overstimulated, and then-
"I love you!" he nearly screamed as he came.
The boy collapsed onto you, his body sticking to yours as he took sharp, ragged breaths. For maybe a minute, the two of you simply took some time to gather your composure and your breaths. When he finally sat up and let you free, you grabbed a cloth covering some of the wood that would be pews and wiped off yourself and the altar. He stared at you in silence for a moment.
"Well?" You glanced at him.
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to say it back?" You furrowed your eyebrows.
"Say what back?" Ainsley slipped off the altar as you started pulling on your clothes.
"I said I love you." You smiled and rolled your eyes.
"Yeah, I noticed. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole commune heard you say it," you chuckled. He looped his arms around you, holding you close to his burning skin.
"Then say it back." You brushed him off with a sigh.
"Get dressed. You're going to get us caught." Ainsley gripped your wrist rather tightly, making you panic for a moment in your head. "What the hell are you doing?" He pulled you in with his other hand, holding you to his nude body.
"Please, YN," he murmured into your ear. "Please say it back." You pushed against his chest, trying to free yourself.
"Give yourself a second for your endorphins to calm down," you grunted until you fought your way out of his grasp. His hand still outstretched, you stepped out of his way to pull on your shirt. "It's just the orgasm talking. Come on, let's go get some food."
You waited for him to get dressed before you opened the worship room doors and went down the hall to the kitchens. That's where they prepared the food to be cooked on the fire outside. Knives hung from hooks on the wall, bread in baskets, cupboards and cupboards of canned vegetables. You were searching for something to snack on as Ainsley entered the room behind you.
"Do you want buttered bread, or we can do like something with the olives, or-"
"Why don't you think I love you?" he almost whimpered. You rolled your eyes as he stepped up close behind you. "It's not my orgasm, YN. It's me. It's me, and only me. I love you." You tried to push him off you once again, but his grip on your shoulders was tight.
"Ainsley, cut it out. I mean it."
"I love you."
"Stop saying that."
"I love you."
"I swear to god, Ainsley. Stop saying that."
"I love you." His arms tightened around you, now going across your shoulders and waist.
"Cut it the fuck out, man," you spat at him. "I don't love you. You don't love me. Drop the subject."
"No!" he exclaimed, almost barking at you. Suddenly his arms were tightly around your neck. You could barely breathe. "Why can't you just love me!?" You were frantically tapping on his arms, your face nearly turning purple from his grip on your windpipe.
Just as quickly as it started, Ainsley let you go. You fell to the floor, gasping for air. Ainsley's eyes were filling with tears as he realised what he had done. He just hurt the paragon, he hurt YN. He hurt the love of his life. You scrambled to your feet and turned around, one hand on your own throat and one gripping the counter.
"I can't, Ainsley," you spat through anxiety riddled breaths. "I just... I fucking can't!"
You pushed past him and ran out the door of the kitchen, headed for your own room. Ainsley just stood there, his hands shaking. He knew he was capable of hurting people. He just didn't know he was capable of hurting you.
You rushed into your bedroom, shutting and locking the door before climbing on your bed in a panic. Fuck, it was all happening again. Your brain was flipping back and forth between the present and the past.
You liked Ainsley, he was kind and sweet and fun to be around. But the way he choked you....
You were sobbing hysterically as you tried to ground yourself in the moment. He wasn't trying to hurt you... He wasn't. But he did. You curled up onto your bed, clutching your pillow and trying to straighten out your thoughts. It wasn't a moment later that you heard a shrill noise from outside.
It sounded like a child screaming from outside.
You jumped to your window, tears streaming down your cheeks as you looked out into the snow. You had the view to see behind some of the houses. Behind one, a child was naked and on all fours in the snow. They looked to be dripping wet in the ice cold weather as a woman stood behind them and beat them with a stick. The child's screams were those of agony, of pain.
You knew exactly what to do. You wanted to run out there and stop it, but there was something you had to do first.
You whipped out your phone, took a video as the woman continued to beat the child, and snapped several pictures.
You didn't hesitate to send them all to Officer James Giamo.
*****
Don't forget to vote and comment. Have a nice day.