~ a few weeks later ~
A never ending cycle.
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Every single time I panic and say I'm never doing it again and thank the universe for looking out. But then I find myself doing it again...and again.
I just can't leave Tayleigh alone. Her stroke game got me in a chokehold. I can't escape.
"So..." my doctor looked at me. And I looked at her. And she looked at me. And I slowly broke eye contact, feeling nervous.
"Your pregnancy test did come back negative, but I would like to talk to you about some other things..." my doctor spoke, but after the word negative I stopped listening due to excitement.
"Destiny." my doctor waved a little. "Huh-wha- I mean ma'am." I stuttered. "Your iron, omega 3, vitamin B6 and 12, along with your vitamin D levels are very low. And your blood pressures a little high." my doctor informed me.
"Oh?" I paused for a second. "Yea, do you have a lot of stressors? People or work? Do you work a lot?" my doctor wondered.
"Uh, yes I have been working a lot more than usual. I'm getting ready to buy my first car." I explained to her. "I see. Well try taking a break if you're working overtime." she suggested.
"Maybe in about a month. Once I have a car and stuff." I nodded. "You're not in the best health right now. In a month, a lot worse can happen to your body. Take care of your body first, it's the only one you've got." my doctor stated.
I sighed a little, nodding.
She went on to tell me I need to invest in supplements as well, to balance out my levels.
After getting out of my appointment, I took the bus home. On the bus ride I went to text Tayleigh about my doctor's appointment, although she laughed in my face when I told her why I was going.
I let her know I was done first, to see if she was gonna even respond. I hated texted her hella shit and then being left on delivered for forever.
Surprisingly, Tayleigh almost immediately responded.
𝐓𝐚𝐲: So...what are we naming our baby?
𝐌𝐞: Nonexistent.
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Damn.
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Sn, I told you ma
𝐌𝐞: Anyways. My doctor said I'm low in like vitamin B6, B12, D, some others and my blood pressure's a little high bro
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Gawd. Damn.
𝐌𝐞: Exactly
𝐓𝐚𝐲: U good, I can lower ur blood pressure and give u some vitamin D tmr night
I rolled my eyes a little while leaving Tayleigh on read because she knows better. After a few minutes of being left on read, she sent another text saying 'No? U don't like that idea?'
I chuckled to myself before responding.
Eventually I made it home and was quick to take a shower and lay down. It was only around 7PM but I was so drained and exhausted. I scrolled on my phone for a little before knowing out.
11 p.m.
I woke up to the sound of commotion in the distance. Arguing, yelling, and I'm sure fighting. I also heard quick movements within the house and became alarmed. When I went downstairs, I saw some of Malik's homeboys.
"What's going on? Where y'all going?" I asked, watching them move with urgency. "Some motherfuckas tryna pull up on our corner." one of them said.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, worried. I knew Malik, Pierre and few others were over there from earlier. Probably hustling and doing god knows what else.
As they were in the middle of explaining what they meant, the sound of gunshots disturbed me. Immediately an unsettling feeling came over me.
"...Malik." I then whispered to myself.
"Malik!" I suddenly screamed, running out of the house barefooted. The others were quick to follow behind me.
I heard the sound of a car speeding off. "Malik." I cried a little, running up to the others standing on the corner. I pushed them all aside to see Malik covered in blood.
But not his blood. Pierre's.
Malik was on his knees, trying to keep pressure on where Pierre had been shot. Right below his chest. "Stay with me bro, come on. You're gonna make it." Malik told Pierre, sounding like he was only trying to convince himself.
Pierre coughed up blood, his body shaking in shock. His eyes looked glossy as he looked at the night sky.
"The stars..." Pierre barely got out.
"Come on breathe. We're taking you to the hospital, okay? Everything's gonna be fine." Malik told Pierre. Pierre shook his head no.
"Bro...listen bro, I love you. You gon have to push through without me." Pierre struggled to speak. "Stop. Stop talking like that. You're gonna make it." Malik nodded.
"It's okay. Promise me...promise me you'll take care of my grandma and my- my little girl." Pierre hyperventilated a little while speaking.
"Pierre-" Malik tried to speak. "Promise me!" Pierre told him. "I...I promise." Malik said, obviously becoming emotional. A small smile of relief crossed Pierre's face.
He looked back at the sky, taking an unsteady breath...his last breath.
"Pierre." Malik shook him a little. When he didn't get a response, he continued to yell at Pierre to wake up. I looked away a little, sobbing.
Eventually I kneeled down, pulling Malik off of Pierre's body. Malik immediately broke down in my arms, hugging me very tightly. He hadn't held me this tight since our parents funeral.
Some of the others were also emotional and trying to comfort Malik. Malik let out some cries that I had wished to never hear again.
2 a.m.
I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. It didn't feel real. I wish I could go to sleep and then wake up to everything back to normal. Even my parents.
Occasionally I cried. For Pierre. For his grandma. For his daughter...she was only three years old.
I slowly looked over at my phone when I heard it ding. After a few minutes went by, I grabbed it and looked at it. It was text from Tayleigh.
𝐓𝐚𝐲: You good?
I'm sure she's aware of what happened. So why would she ask if I'm good? I thought to myself.
𝐌𝐞: Did you do it?
𝐓𝐚𝐲: No
𝐌𝐞: Did your brother do it? Cam? One of those guys you're always around?
Tayleigh started typing but eventually stopped and didn't respond. I stared at the screen for a few minutes, waiting for Tayleigh to respond but she never did. I suddenly broke down into tears.
Again.
It had been like this for the past few hours.
I curled up into a ball and started to cry myself to sleep. My body barely gave in but I was tired. Exhausted. Just as I was about to fall asleep completely, my phone buzzed.
It was Tayleigh, asking if I wanted to sleep with her. I told her that I wanted an answer to my previous question. After a while, she finally responded.
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Des pls don't
𝐌𝐞: Answer my question
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Can you pls lemme come over and hold you?
𝐌𝐞: No. Goodnight.
I then put my phone on do not disturb and rolled over. Of course I started crying again before I was able to go to sleep. But when I did I was knocked out...until I wasn't.
I suddenly woke up out of my sleep, screaming frantically.
Within seconds Malik came running into my room. I suddenly started crying when I saw him. He quickly pulled me into his arms, not asking any questions because he already knew what it was.
When I finally got myself together, Malik didn't leave. He laid beside me and helped me fall back asleep. Eventually I did, then he left.
I was quick to wake back up though. I laid alone in the dark far awhile before grabbing my phone and texting Tayleigh. I doubted that she was up, but I texted her anyway.
𝐌𝐞: Are you still up?
𝐓𝐚𝐲: I'm always up
𝐓𝐚𝐲: What u can't sleep?
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Still be having nightmares?
𝐌𝐞: Yea...sometimes
𝐓𝐚𝐲: Can I come over and hold u now?
𝐌𝐞: I want you to but my brother and everyone else is still up. Idk how I'd sneak you in. We can just meet at the playground?
𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡: Ight cool
I wasted no time getting up and putting on a hoodie and some sweats. Once I was ready, I quickly left out before anyone had a chance to question where I was off to.
When I arrived at the playground, Tayleigh was already there sitting on one of the benches. She held her arms out and pulled me onto her lap.
"What happened? In your nightmare?" she asked. "It was just a replay of what happened but, instead of Pierre it was my brother." I explained. "Oh, yea that's what I was thinking." Tayleigh nodded.
"What?" I turned to look at her.
"When you used to have nightmares, they were always about something happening to Malik. So, I just assumed that was the case this time too." Tayleigh explained.
"Oh...yea..." I trailed off, looking at the trees across from us. Tayleigh wrapped her arms around me tighter and rest her head on me.
"I'm sorry about your homeboy." she sighed. "He wasn't much of my homeboy as he was my brother's. He was just always around. Not in a bad way, he was good people for real." I expressed, feeling numb.
"Mm, it's fucked up for real. All of it." Tayleigh responded. "What do you mean?" I looked at her.
"It was an accident. He was shot by accident." Tayleigh explained. "By who?" I asked, seeing if she would finally tell me.
"Destiny, stop it bruh." Tayleigh sounded annoyed. "Stop what?!" I then became annoyed as well, standing up from her lap. Tayleigh immediately pulled me back onto her lap.
"You know I can't say anything. You know that. I'm not going to. So stop asking me." Tayleigh whispered aggressively, struggling to keep me still.
"So what the fuck you bring it up for? You just like doing dumb shit. Nah, get the fuck off me." I forced my way out of her hold.
I then tried to walk off.
"Destiny." Tayleigh aggressively pulled me back by my wrist, with swiftness.
"Get off of me." I told her, my face just inches from hers. "You not going anywhere." Tayleigh said as if she was telling me. I continued to struggle to remove my wrist from her grip.
"I'm going back home. Stay out here with your raggedy ass incriminating gang. Seems to be the only thing you know how to be loyal to." I quietly said, taking a shot at her.
Tayleigh put her tongue to her cheek, nodding a little. She then smirked, as if I struck a nerve.
"Really Destiny? That's how you feeling?" she continued to nod, letting go of my wrists. "That's how you acting." I stated.
"Well excuse me for keeping my mouth shut and keeping us both safe." Tayleigh shrugged. "Fuck outta here with that." I waved her off.
"You know what, just go home Destiny. Please. Cause you starting to piss me off with your smart ass mouth. Everyday you find something to argue about. Everyday. I'm not bouta keep doing this shit with you." Tayleigh went to sit back down.
"I'm not bouta keep doing this shit with you." I mocked, just to piss her off.
"You for real this time? Cause you say this everyday and then end up texting or calling me first so..." I spoke in a very sarcastic tone.
I continued while Tayleigh stayed seated on the bench in front of me, manspreading and staring at me. After every sentence, she gave me an 'are you done?' look.
Finally, I finished what I had to say and just stared back at her.
"Oh, I can talk now?" Tayleigh chuckled.
I rolled my eyes a little. "Ight so, I guess I can talk now cause you just be yapping. Anyways, I don't always text and call first-" Tayleigh started to say.
"Yes, you do. You be tryna apologize to get back in my pants." I stated. "Can I talk bruh? You had your turn to talk." Tayleigh mugged me a little. "No! Cause you lying." I responded.
"How am I lying? I ain't even get to say anything." Tayleigh stood up, throwing her arms up as well.
"I don't care. You started off lying so I don't wanna hear it. That's all the talk time you get." I said, solely to piss her off. Tayleigh cocked her neck back at me.
"Fuck wrong with your neck?" I mugged her. "Goodnight Destiny. I'm not doing this with you." Tayleigh started to walk off.
"Oh okay. Right." I nodded.
Tayleigh almost immediately stopped walking and turned around. "You got a smart ass mouth. Like shit, what's your problem?" Tayleigh asked.
"You. You're annoying. And piss me off daily." I crossed my arms. "How you think I feel?" Tayleigh questioned. "I don't know. I don't be doing anything." I shrugged.
"Rii..." Tayleigh slowly nodded.
"Stop that rii shit! Always saying some dumb shit!" I told Tayleigh. "Ight Destiny, you got one more time to raise your voice at me." Tayleigh claimed.
"I'm raising my voice! And what you gon do?!" I stepped to her. Tayleigh slightly looked down at me. "Goodnight. Destiny." was her only response.
"Goodnight. Tayleigh." I rolled my eyes at her, before walking off with my arms crossed. I then stopped walking and huffed while turning around. Tayleigh was a few feet behind me.
"What?" she smacked her lips, approaching me.
When she got close enough, I leaned over a little and kissed her. "Be safe. And don't get arrested." I nearly mumbled, rolling my eyes at her again, then walking off.
Ughh I can't stand her annoying ass.
~•~•~•~
𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐲. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭.
𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐨, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 <𝟑