I only chose one item from the menu but when the servers came in, our table was almost occupied with all the food that he ordered himself. Huminga ako ng malalim habang paisa-isang tinitingnan ang bawat ulam sa hapag.
Masyadong marami at kasyang-kasya ito sa isang buong pamilya kung sakali.
"Tatawagin ko po ba si Sir Ejay?" I asked curiously.
His calm face became unpleasant with my question. "Ejay who?"
"Yung isang kasama ko po na secu---"
"Ano bang meron diyan sa mga kasama mo? First was that Ronald guy and now Ejay?" He stated disgustingly.
I looked at him puzzled with his sudden outburst, while he remained the same.
"Ano? Lahat na lang may gusto sayo?" He added more which made me more puzzled.
Umiling ako sa kanya but he scoffed at me and looked away.
Nagbuga ako ng malalim na hininga. "Sir Ejay is my senior, Sir. At parang Kuya lang po ang turing ko sa kanya. At wala pong gusto sa akin ang mga trabaho ko." Paglilinaw ko.
I don't even know why I am explaining these things to him. Wala naman akong atraso o kasalanan.
"Then that is why Ronald is at your unit…"
He continued ranting but my eyes started feasting on the food on the table, at kalaunan ay kumuha na ako ng kakainin ko. The food was too much but I was hungry for all the things that happened today so…
"Answer me! Bakit mo hinahayaan na may lalake sa unit mo?"
Napatigil ako sa pagtikim sa mga pagkain at tumingin sa kanya. Ang huling katanungan niya lang ata ang pumasok sa isipan ko sa rami ng sinabi niya.
"He is a friend, Sir. At hindi na po siya nanliligaw." Klaro kong sagot na nagpatigil sa kanya.
But he scoffed at me and again and shook his head disappointedly. "Friend my ass, umaasa iyon and I am sure of it!" He said confidently.
I drank my juice through the straw as I watched his face get stressed from all the rant that he had done. Afterwhich, I set aside my drink and looked at him seriously.
"Problema ko na po ang mga ganyang bagay, at ako na po ang bahala sa sarili ko." Seryoso kong sagot.
Nawala ang kunot sa kanyang noo at naglumikot rin bigla ang kanyang mga mata. He then cleared his throat and fixed his posture. Inayos niya rin ang kuwelyo niya at ang pagkakalislis ng long sleeves niya sa kanyang braso.
"I-I didn't mean it that way...at w-wala akong gusto sayo…" Iwas nitong salita.
Huminga ako ng malalim. “Wala po akong sinabi na may gusto kayo sa akin.”
His eyes went wide with my statement. His jaw dropped a little but he fixed his posture right away.
“Talagang wala akong gusto sayo, kahit magpaligaw ka pa sa kahit sino.”
That was aggressive. Wala naman akong kasalanan.
“Kaya nga po, kaya ko po ang sarili ko pagdating sa mga ganyang bagay.”
“Right!" He exclaimed sarcastically. "Kasi mamimili ka lang naman and I am so glad we left the party, akala mo hindi nakakita ng tao kung makatingin sayo.” He even gasped and groaned.
Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko sa mga salita niya. And he really looked so disgusted and disappointed.
“Sir…”
“What?!” Puno ng inis nitong sumbat.
“Hindi ko po kailangan ng opinion niyo lalo na sa mga personal na bagay katulad nito…” Hindi ko pa natatapos ang gusto kong sabihin ng makita ko ang kaagad ang pagdidilim ng mga mata niya.
I stopped midway. He stood from his seat, put his palm on the table and looked at me furiously.
“Then how can you give a fuck with my opinions, ayaw mong magpaligaw! And that bullshit rules from your company that you must not be in a relationship with your client. Should I fire you then?!”
Napasinghap ako sa turan niya, hindi ko na mapigilan na magulat. What did he just say?
"I'll fire you right now, and I'll court you." Determinado at mas seryoso niyang bigkas na lalong nagpagulat sa akin.
"S-sir…" I do not know what to say. "W-wala po kayong gusto sa akin, kasasabi niyo---"
"Then I'll take back my words…" He seriously answered and stepped away from his chair.
I followed his movements and was shocked again when he stopped in front of me. Halos maduling ako sa sobrang lapit lalo na ng pagpantayin niya ang aming mga tingin.
"S-sir…" I breathily uttered.
He looks too serious for me and it's making me nervous. Sanay ako na hindi siya makitang ganito at ngayong ganito siya kaseryoso ay halos hindi ko makayanan ang intensidad ng kanyang mga tingin.
"I like you so much...it's fucking my head. And I hate how they look at you at the party...I really hate it so much." He stated, heavily emphasizing each of his words.
My head became dizzy with all of it, pakiramdam ko ay matutumba na lang ako bigla. Kaya naman nagulat na lamang ako muli ng maramdaman ko ang palad niya sa pareho kong kamay, humahaplos ng marahan.
Ramdam ko ang pagsitayuan ng balahibo ko sa simpleng ginawa niya at lalo kong pagkahilo. I feel so lightheaded.
"Sir…" At mas lalong hindi ko alam ang sasabihin.
He licked his lips and stood up properly. Binitawan niya ang braso ko at binulsa ang dalawa niyang kamay sa bulsa slacks niya. Tumingala ako sa kanya pero nanatili ang maliit naming distanya.
"I'll fire you tomorrow." He casually answered and went back to his chair.
Nanatili akong tuod sa kinatatayuan ko, laglag ang panga sa mga sinabi niya. I looked at him and he started picking his food.
What he is saying is inherently impossible. Ni halos hindi iyon pumasok sa isipan ko at ngayon masesesante na ako bukas?
"Sir, you can't fire me...at hindi po ako magpapaligaw." Humarap ako ng tuluyan at determinado na ngayon.
He looked up and nodded his head. "Sit. I am hungry and so is you."
I licked my lips and looked at him seriously. Hindi ako pwedeng mawalan ng trabaho...I can't afford to lose my assignment with him, I could after our contract but not now.
Hindi ko naman maitatanggi na dahil iyon sa maganda nilang pasweldo bukod sa ito na ang isa sa mga hindi aktibong kaso na nahawakan ko. Bukod sa nahuli na ang main suspect namin, it is for Papa and Brianne too.
Mas kampante lang si Papa na safe at maayos ang trabaho ko hindi katulad ng mga nakaraan.
Huminga ako ng malalim. "Sir...hindi pwede. Hindi po ako nagpapaligaw. At hindi niyo po ako sisisentahin."
He raised his brows at me. "Who told you that I can't?" He challenged.
I clenched my jaw with the way he answered. He is too aggressive and spoiled. He must really think that I could just say yes to everything to him, at hindi nga ako naniniwala na may gusto siya sa akin.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at tumingin sa kanya ng seryoso. I don't like him, I don't like the industry that he's in, and my Mom likes him so much. He is the last person that I will like.
"Kung ganun po...I quit." Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot at naglakad na papalayo sa kanya.
I didn't even see his expression but one thing is for sure, he is just bluffing with his feelings and I'll never like someone from the industry same with Mom. Hinding-hindi. Ayokong maging katulad ni Papa.
Lumabas ako ng tuluyan sa restaurant at naulingan si Sir Ejay na nag aabang sa paligid. Naglakad ako palapit sa kanya at nang magtama ang mga mata namin ay kumunot ang noo niya.
He started walking towards me too at nang magkaharap kami ay binigay ko sa kanya ang earpiece ko. He looked at it strangely then back to my face.
"I quit, Sir. Kayo na pong bahala sa kanya." Seryoso kong saad.
His brows furrowed. "Hindi pa tapos ang kontrata."
Umiling ako. "Gusto ko na pong tapusin. I can't handle him."
"What?" He asked surprised.
Binalingan ko ng tingin ang building ng hotel na pinanggalingan ko.
"Hindi ko na po kaya---"
"You can't quit unless he's the one who will fire you. Alam mo yan. Ang trabaho ay trabaho. No personal issues here." Putol niya sa anumang sasabihin ko.
"Now go back to him, before something else happens to him."
He didn't even let me finish responding and turned his back on me. I bit my lips. The situation is frustrating me to my core. Mas ayokong pagsilbihan siya kung ganito lang din.
I put my hands to my waist and looked up, trying to calm myself. Alam kong ganoon ang patakaran namin pero gusto ko na itong matapos.
With a heavy heart, I went back inside. I traced my steps and it brought me back to the room we are in. I stood in front of the door and eyed the handle like it's going to disappear any moment.
Nagbuga ako ng malalim na hininga. Inayos ko muli ang sarili ko at akmang pipihitin ko ang door handle ng bigla itong bumukas.
Pareho kaming gulat ng magtama ang mga mata namin. I recovered first and avoided his gaze, bigla ay rinig ko rin ang pagtikhim niya ng malakas kaya muling napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya.
"Sorry...hindi ko na uulitin." Maamo nitong paghingi ng paumanhin.
Hindi ko nagpatinag. I just nodded at him which made him look away from me. Gumilid siya ng kaunti at binuksan ng mas maluwag ang pintuan.
"L-let's continue our dinner." Mahina nitong sambit.
Pumasok ako ng tuluyan at muli ring humarap sa kanya.
"Bawal po kaming sumabay." Hindi naman talaga pwede pero pagbibigyan ko na sana siya kanina dahil gutom na rin ako.
But what happened earlier made me realise that I shouldn't be lenient to him. I need to re-draw the line between us and he cannot cross any of it. He should know his boundaries.
Nalaglag ang panga niya sa sinabi ko pero wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang tumango. I walked towards the corner and stood there while he returned to his seat hesitantly. He is looking at me as if I'm gonna take back my words anytime but I wouldn't.
"You can seat...kanina ka pa nakatayo." Lingon niya sa akin.
Umiling ako. "Sanay po ako." Malamig kong sagot na muling nagpaawang ng labi niya.
He was hesitant the whole time at wala na akong narinig kong hindi ang pagkain niya. Panay rin ng tingin niya sa akin pero nakatutok lang ang mata ko sa pintuan.
He finished his dinner as fast as he could. Marami ang tirang ulam pagkatapos niya pero hindi naman uso sa kanila ang take out. Nakaramdam ako ng panghihinayang at pagkagutom pero hindi ko na pinahalata.
Umuwi kami ng building na tahimik pareho. Sir Ejay parked our car in the basement at nauna na si Sir Pierce sa elevator. Humarap ako sa kanya at sumalado pagkatapos.
"You could be in a relationship with your client. The big boss can't do anything with it." Seryoso ngunit may ngisi sa labi niyang sambit.
Umiling ako sa kanya. "Wala po akong balak."
Mas lalong ngumisi ang labi niya sa akin. "Sure you do…"
Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga. Wala na akong magagawa kung ganon ang tingin niya sa akin. Wala naman akong pakialam at hindi naman mangyayari ang sinasabi niya.
I am grounded to my beliefs and I won't break any of it.
Hinatid ko siya sa unit niya at magpapalit pa ako ng damit at babalik ulit rito. Nananantiya ang kanyang mga tingin pagkaharap sa akin pero nanatili ang blangko kong tingin.
"Babalik ka pa naman bukas….diba?" He unsurely asked.
"Depende po kung masisisante ako." It is true though.
He panickingly shook his head. "No, I won't."
Tumaas ang kilay ko sa sagot niya. He looked like a scaredy cat and I can't deny that his reactions were amusing. Pinilit kong pigilan ang ngiti sa labi ko
"Kung ganun po ay babalik pa ako bukas."
Nagliwanag kaagad ang mukha niya sa sagot ko at kitang-kita ko iyon sa malawak na ngiti sa labi niya. He even bit his lips, trying to suppress it and nodded his head. Pero bigla-bigla ay sumeryoso muli ang ekspresyon niya.
Bumalik ang kaba sa dibdib ko sa paraan ng tingin niya sa akin. Akmang iiwas ako ng tingin ng binigkas niya muli ang mga salita niya kanina.
"Pero…manliligaw pa rin ako. And you can't stop me on that one."
Pinatili ko ang blangko kong ekspresyon. He won't get me with his words. He might do it but I know his kind, hindi siya papatol sa akin at alam kung iba ang habol niya. I am very very much knowledgeable of his past, from his woks to his vices, to women. Lahat ng iyon ay alam ko dahil inaral ko lahat ng iyon bago ko pinasok ang trabaho na ito.
"Goodnight. I'll see you again tomorrow." He dismissed softly and I just nodded my head.
I watched him close the door, and the last thing I saw was his eyes peeking through me until he finally closed his door. Pigil ko ang hiniga ko at saka ko lang ito pinakawalan ng hindi ko na siya kita.
I closed my eyes tightly and breathed in deeply. I think I need to guard myself more, more than I guarded him.