I tried to believe that what had just happened had been nothing more than a figment of my imagination, but it was impossible as I realized that Eneas was looking directly at me, dozens of faces were turning towards me and Clariess was mumbling with barely a voice:
"What?"
I looked around for the rest of the Aursong with my eyes, and saw that they were quickly approaching our table. Rodion was completely out of place, as were Cadmot and Gracelie. Fyodor, however, was entirely unmoved. If he was surprised by Eneas's proposal, he disguised it perfectly.
He wasn't, I realized in horror. He knew what was going to happen. That's why he had brought me there dressed as a noblewoman, because he and the prince had planned it. They had let everyone believe that Clariess would be the one to be betrothed that night, knowing that in the end it would be me.
"No," I mumbled, but by then the general had reached me and wrapped his arms around my wrist in an iron grip.
"The honor will be mine, your highness, in accepting your proposal and giving you Perse in marriage to accompany you once you have obtained the crown that is yours."
Hesitant applause echoed through the room, just enough so that no one could hear Rodion say:
"Father, what are you doing?"
"Rodion," I pleaded.
"Quiet, son. Don't do anything."
"You promised me, Fyodor," Gracelie hissed, furious. "You promised me my little girl would be queen, not that bitch."
"Perse?" Clariess whispered, confused; not as confused as I was, that's for sure.
"Lady Perse," Eneas called to me, completely calm on his part. Fyodor pulled me to my feet, and only then did I manage to come out of my daze.
"No!" I cried, trying to resist, but he twisted my wrist as he did when he dragged me in the middle of the night through the sinister corridors. I couldn't stop him from leading me to the throne, next to the prince. Eneas gave me his usual charismatic smile, but for the first time I thought I could see a dark edge to it.
'The most merciless demons possess the faces of the sweetest angels.'
"I don't know what the purpose of this is, but I don't plan to be a part of it." I said quietly. He looked me up and down, contempt clear in his eyes.
"We'll see about that," he guffawed in the same tone, before turning to the assembled nobles.
"My dear subjects, I am sure you must be asking yourselves many questions at this moment. I am aware of the rumors that were circulating about my impending engagement, and I regret not denying it before. Perse Aursong may not be of noble rank, but there are compelling reasons to support this union.
Many years ago, when Furya's forces loomed over Ethryant, King Honir consulted the royal oracle, Delphis, in search of a way to stop her. The oracle looked to the stars, for in them converged the answer. A prophecy was written on a star map that the court astrologers examined exhaustively until they discovered that all the symbols Delphis had glimpsed were going to be aligned over Ethryant. The night they did, one of the soldiers of Honir's army had just fathered a newborn girl. That birth was blessed bu the northern stars, and by fate itself, a gift from the creators to ensure our salvation. It was sent to us a worthy rival for our enemy, who is no other than the young lady you see here now. Perse Aursong is destined to face Queen Furya and help us end her dark reign. If you don't believe me, see it with your very own eyes!
The servants removed the cloth covering the object behind us. When I turned to see what it was, I found myself face to face with myself.
It was a huge, elongated mirror that stretched to reflect the entire room, but I could only look at myself. I had never seen myself so clearly and, for the first time, I felt... beautiful.
My face was elegant with a feline touch, with sharp cheekbones, pointed chin and full lips. My skin was smooth and immaculate except for a single freckle on my cheek, and the lavender dress fit a slim, proportionate figure. And my eyes... my eyes were lively, expressive, sparkling. So that was how others saw me. I wish I could have done it too.
Marveling at the accuracy of that image, I reached out my hand towards that fascinating reflection. Before I even touched the glass, it changed.
All my skin became like marble, my hair a snowy white color and my eyes silver and glistening. I stepped back and saw that my hands and hair still retained their normal color, but in the mirror I was white as a ghost. I looked... like Furya. My reflection was like the Queen.
People began to scream in horror at the unearthly sight, which increased as the pale version of me gave a perfidious grin and cocked his head to one side. Suddenly, she let out an insane laugh that reached me muffled, as if the sound came from a very distant place.
"She's a witch!" someone exclaimed.
"She's a monster too!"
"She is an abomination!"
"Perse Aursong is a witch!"
"Do he want to marry that monster?"
"She is horrible!"
I covered my mouth with a trembling hand as I watched this... being look around as if it wanted to reduce everything to ashes. Somehow, something inside me recognized it as part of me. That dark magic belonged to me.
I couldn't believe it. She was a witch, like in the stories Asreyn had told me. All that time. A witch. Me. The very idea seemed crazy to me. Not just any witch, either. One with the same powers as Queen Furya, a woman capable of bringing an entire kingdom to its knees, and all because... why, because I was destined to defeat her? I was the one chosen to save Ethryant, the heroine of that story? That was my destiny? For some reason, that seemed as impossible as me being a witch.
I tried to ignore the exclamations of the people around me and reached out again. My reflection mimicked my movement and I noticed a sensation inside me, something dark and sleepy had just awakened. A sudden scream ripped through my throat, letting it out, and the mirror darkened as if a shadow had been cast across it. I closed my eyes as I heard the glass shatter, and when I opened them I found that there were cracks all over the crystalline surface, but none touching my reflection.
Eneas raised an arm and pointed at me:
"Perse Aursong, my faithful subjects! The chosen one, my betrothed, the ultimate weapon of the Insurrection! With her by my side, I will reclaim our home, free it from the tyranny of...!"
"Shut up."
I didn't say it loud enough for everyone to hear, but it was enough for me.
"What?"
"Shut up. Stop repeating the same thing over and over again. It's pathetic."
The prince's countenance hardened, and he quickly grabbed my hand. On the outside it looked like he was holding it gently, but it was hurting me.
"It's a pity. I was hoping Fyodor had taught you to keep your mouth shut."
"Let go of me."
"I'll have to show you."
I felt how slowly a thick current of hatred joined the tidal wave that was already swelling inside me. Eneas was calm, sure he had control over the situation, over me. My vision was tinged with silver. The prince jerked away from me. He gasped and put his hands to his neck, as if he couldn't breathe. Everyone began to shriek in terror as Eneas continued to struggle. I didn't understand why until I looked in the mirror.
My reflection was strangling Eneas. I had not moved from my place, but he was still writhing as if he had hands around his throat, which was what was happening in the glass. I watched the scene, trembling, as the screams of the general and the guests reached me.
Suddenly, he stopped. I took a deep breath, and so did the prince, whose neck was bruised. The servants had covered the mirror again, hiding the reflection. That magic, that power... had almost killed Eneas?
I looked around me. All eyes were firmly fixed on me, making me feel like my world was spinning. Everywhere I looked I saw nothing but disgust, fear, hatred, rejection. They had seen what I had done, what I was. And so had I.
A witch. An abomination. A monster.
I remembered the moment when Rodion told me about the war. The only certainty that came over me at that moment was not that they would win or lose. It was that nothing would be the same. And he was right. Since they had revealed what I was, everything was going to change. I could almost feel my former life dissolving into nothingness. Lost.
A hoarse sob escaped from my chest. I couldn't stand that, all those horrible looks on me and the feeling that, as soon as the prince had uttered my name, I had fallen into a deadly trap. The silence that ensued was broken like glass when Eneas said as if nothing had happened:
"Please do not be frightened, my dear subjects. Today is a day of celebration, especially after this happy news."
Somehow, I knew that, if I had my reflection, it would gouge out the prince's eyes.
"Let's go," I heard the general's voice, and a second later his hand was around my wrist again. He dragged me out of the ballroom and led me through the ostentatious corridors until we entered a room that he closed behind us. It was an office with reddish wood furniture and a large desk with its back to a bay window overlooking the city. I let go abruptly and screamed at the top of my lungs.
"You knew it! You knew all this! You planned it with Eneas!"
"Don't raise your voice at me."
"You knew what I was and you didn't tell me! You're a miserable liar!"
"Silence!" he shouted, raising a hand, and I instinctively shrank back. However, he lowered it.
"No. I don't want to spoil Eneas' new toy."
"I am not his toy."
Fyodor snorted, adjusting his suit.
"Believe me, I would have preferred Clariess to you a thousand times over. She's much better. You are a presence I've had to carry around my house, a nuisance. You are nothing more than that, nor will you ever be, you ungrateful fool."
"Sorry to interrupt."
Prince Eneas had just entered the office, but he did not come alone. He was followed by a middle-aged woman, dressed in dark clothing, with long, thick black hair streaked with gray and a serious look. She had deep-looking scars scattered all over her face, whitish in color but still striking, which gave her face a grotesque appearance.
"Perse, I would like to introduce you to Lady Scilla Erise, a very senior and respected member of the Insurrection."
The black-haired lady looked at me in that way I was so used to, and I tried not to look directly at all those scars that decimated her beauty.
"She looks like his father," he commented with distaste.
"Did you meet my father?"
"We all knew him. He was a hateful bastard."
I gritted my teeth, instantly deciding that this woman repulsed me as much as the two men also present.
"Well, Perse, I guess we owe you an explanation," said Eneas.
"You think so?!" I shouted. "Since when did you know that I was like the Queen?"
"Since the prophecy," he replied calmly, taking the seat behind the desk as he rubbed the wounds on his neck, "we needed someone with the power to stand up to Furya. That's why you were born a witch: you were a gift, a ray of hope."
"It can't be! I've never done magic, I've never cast spells, it's the first time I've seen... that thing!"
"And you still haven't figured out why?"
I tried to compose myself and thought, was I supposed to know the answer? If my magic was like Queen Furya's, that meant I could spread destruction and death using...
"The mirrors," I understood. "There are no mirrors on the island. Is it because of me? Has it always been because of me?"
He shrugged.
"Not exactly. We banned mirrors to protect ourselves in case we suffered an attack from the Queen or Princess, but yes, we also did so because a power like yours has catastrophic effects if it gets out of control. I think your... demonstration earlier confirmed this."
"I don't understand," I muttered. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Because if all this were known we would be giving false hopes to the people of Cavintosh, and because we were not sure if you would be... fit for the mission we are going to entrust you with," Fyodor answered this time. Next to him, Scilla was throwing daggers through her eyes.
Now I understood many things: Fyodor's rejection, my isolation in the Aursong's house, my prohibition to get close to their children, the scorn I received for no apparent reason... I had been carrying the burden of being a witch for years without knowing it. No, I was not going to accept the mission these people were planning to entrust me with.
"Whatever that mission is, I don't want it," I said dryly.
"Perse, it's not like you have a choice," replied Eneas as if he were telling a little girl not to climb a tree.
"Of course I have it. I'm not gonna..."
"No, you don't," the scarred woman snarled, taking a step toward me. "Stop being so insolent and think a little. You are the one who has to make us win the war, you have to help the Insurrection. It is your only purpose. Don't you realize that you are the one who has to kill Furya?"
"I can't! I can't do magic!"
"That's what I'm here for. I'm going to teach you."
I looked at the woman, skeptical. Another witch? No, it was impossible.
"Are you a...?"
"I would die before being like your kind. I have studied Furya's powers for years, I know how they work. I'm the best person to do it."
"I don't want you to teach me! I don't even want to be a witch!"
Scilla's face unhinged with anger.
"Listen to me, girl: I will not rest until that whore who calls herself Queen is dead, I don't care if I have to train you like a dog to achieve it. Do you see these scars?"
She pointed to the marks covering his face, and I could see that she had them on his hands as well.
"Do you know what made them on me? Crystal. Furya took everything from me, left me broken and alone long before she did this to me. And when I tried to take my revenge..." Scilla's fingers twitched. "She wouldn't let even one of her tormentors near me. She personally took it upon herself to make me suffer day after day. I have marks like these all over my body, and he would have gone on to kill me if I hadn't been rescued. So tell me, Perse, are you still determined not to accept your fate?"
I gulped. I couldn't help but imagine hundreds of shards of glass piercing that woman's pale skin as an evil Queen guffawed mercilessly. However, I still didn't trust Scilla. She was clearly deranged and oozing bitterness, but there was something else I couldn't quite figure out.
"I..."
"She will," Eneas interrupted me. "She will restore peace to Ethryant, she will be the heroine of the Insurrection, and then she will become its queen."
I didn't see myself capable of taking the place to which I thought Clariess was condemned.
"Facing Queen Furya is one thing, and marrying you is quite another."
"Perse, a queen's duty is to watch over her people, and who better to do that than someone as powerful as you?"
"I have already accepted your proposal," said the general coldly. "As my daughter, you must do as I say."
My vision was tinted silver again, and I wished I had a mirror so I could strangle that man.
"I'm not your daughter!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You've treated me like dirt all my life! You've despised me when I've never done anything to you! You didn't call me your daughter until it suited you! You've made my life a nightmare, but it's still my life! And now you expect me to fight for you, for the Insurrection? There are few things I hate more than this stupid island, and you're one of them!"
It was obvious that Fyodor was holding back from tearing me apart right there, but Eneas was smiling as if he thought it was very funny.
"You'll come to terms with it, Perse. In the meantime, you'll start training with Scilla tomorrow. You're in for a hectic six months. The three of you can retire."
The general took me by the arm and led me out of the office.
"If you say one more word, you will regret it."
I no longer felt strong enough to disobey, so I remained silent. The rest of the family had already left, so a carriage took us back to the mansion.
As soon as we arrived, I ran to my room with tears about to escape my eyes. As soon as I arrived, I threw off that dress and those jewels. I felt like a mere ornament with them, an ornament to please Eneas and pretend to be someone I was not. I threw myself on the bed and burst into tears. The whole situation was too horrible to be true, I still couldn't fully conceive it. I had been turned into a puppet, a puppet without voice or will, and I didn't know how to stop everything that was coming at me.
"Dream Man," I sobbed, unable to contain myself. I needed him by my side more than ever. He was the only person, real or not, I had ever fully trusted throughout my life, the only one who had never left my side. "Dream Man...please...please...please...."
I sobbed even louder, aware that I was not going to get any answer, and also that I was not going to be able to sleep that night.
I looked up to brush my hair away from my face, and my eyes met with an object placed on my bedside table. It was the wooden box Asreyn had given me, the one I was to open when I was in danger.
Well, I have never felt more in danger.
I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand before reaching out to take the box. Its mysterious contents didn't seem too heavy. I took a deep breath and slowly opened it.
For the second time that night, my eyes looked back at me.
It was a round mirror, the size of my hand and with a fine silver frame. For a moment, I panicked, but my magic reflection didn't appear, I frowned and waited, but nothing happened. Why didn't it appear? Had it all been a trick?
I closed my eyes and concentrated, concentrated on that dark sensation, sharp as glass, that I had begun to feel inside me. I could feel my connection with that mirror, with what was waiting on the other side.
I opened my eyes just in time to see my hair turn white and silver eyes watching me with amusement. My reflection flashed an enigmatic smile and, for a moment, we stared at each other. Then I remembered what I had done to Eneas and slammed the box shut. A troubling certainty came over me, and I hurried to tuck the mirror under my bed, where the hideous stuffed mouse was also lying. Yes, now that I knew I could do magic, having one would come in handy if I was in danger, which could only mean one thing.
Asreyn knew..
After a couple of hours, I gave up trying to fall asleep and decided to go out. I didn't even bother to grab a coat. I put on a wrinkled uniform and went out the back door. A certain miserable, lying Ethryn merchant owed me an explanation.
If he had given me a mirror, a highly illegal object in Cavintosh, it was for me to use, and that meant he had been aware of my powers even before I was. I was furious that I was the last to find out about my worst secret.
I went out in the same manner as usual, but did not go much further when I heard some dry thumping. I followed the sound to the courtyard of the well, where I found Rodion angrily hitting one of the columns with one of the sticks the soldiers used for training. He was wearing the same shirt as at the ball, but his light hair was a complete mess. He kept hitting the column at full speed until I called out to him:
"Rodion!"
He turned to me and his expression changed completely. I ran to him, tears welling up in my eyes, and hugged him.
"It's horrible, Rodion, I can't stand it. They want to force me to..."
I stopped talking when he suddenly pushed me away.
"Perse, I..." he muttered, looking away. He was breathing heavily. "I'm so sorry."
"What? What are you talking about?"
He looked at me intensely and, suddenly, placed his hand on the back of my neck and kissed me passionately. I closed my eyes tightly and clung to him as if I was about to drown and he was my only hold. I gave myself completely to that kiss in an attempt to push away that horrifying tangle of emotions I was trapped in. Rodion had never kissed me like that, with such rage and need, he had always been sweet and caring.
He stepped back. Part of his face was hidden by the shadows, but they were not the same shadows that reigned in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Perse."
"What are your regrets?"
"My father knows."
"What?"
"What we had."
I didn't know which had a more painful impact: that Fyodor knew about us or that he referred to it in the past tense.
"I don't understand."
"When you came back, I went to talk to him, demanded an explanation for what happened at the ball and ended up begging him to cancel your engagement. In the end... I admitted it."
"Oh, Rodion... Creators, why?" I exclaimed.
"I didn't want you to marry Eneas, and I didn't understand what happened in that mirror either."
"Well, since it wasn't clear enough after the prince's speech, I'll simplify it," I replied, my blood boiling. "I'm a witch! I've been one all this time and I didn't know it!"
"I still can't believe it..."
"Well, we'll have to start doing it. That's not all, they also expect me to join the war, to defeat Furya. They've lost their minds! I need you, Rodion, there must be something we can do."
He looked away, a gesture that hurt me like a slap in the face.
"A few hours ago, I looked for my father," he said quietly. "I wanted to talk to him, to beg him for answers. I asked him to stop all this, not to betroth you to Eneas, because I love you."
Tears began to well up in my eyes, but I kept silent.
"Then he shushed me and explained everything in detail. His plans for you and Eneas. The strategy for the war. Your training and your mission. The... things... you can do."
"You don't have to be afraid of me, Rodion! I would never hurt anyone!"
"It may not take you long to get started, Perse, but the point is... it's over."
I couldn't take any more bad news that night, and yet there he was, uttering those words.
"You can't be serious."
"I hate this as much as you do, but that kiss will have to be the last."
"Why? Why are you doing this to me?!"
The sadness in Rodion's eyes was heartbreaking, but I didn't care.
"There is nothing I can do. The decision has already been made."
"I don't understand..."
"My father has already accepted your proposal, it's done."
"No, it is not!"
"The prince has formally asked for your hand! Can't you see how much all this hurts me?"
"You're not the one going through all this! You're not the one who hasn't been given the chance to say no at any time! Your father sold me out!"
"Perse, my father has only done his duty."
I took a step back, shaking my head. I could hardly believe my ears.
"Are you really... accepting it?"
"And what the hell do you expect me to do?"
I began to breathe sharply, and I felt the dark power spreading inside me, as if it were a living, angry being that exploded when I screamed:
"To fight for me! For what we have! Is one order from your father enough for you to throw it all away? You said you'd marry me!"
"I didn't want to have to do this!"
"Well, you're doing it, and you were the only one of the two who had a choice! You're doing it, you've given up right away! You haven't even tried to stand up to your father, or to Eneas, you just walk away and act like a coward!"
"Perse, you know I love you..."
"No, Rodion. I love you. And I know because I would have fought. I wouldn't be here, making excuses and abandoning you. I would be by your side even if you were a sorcerer. That is love."
"I tried to convince my father! I tried to make him see reason, I confessed my feelings for you!"
"Your father won't listen to you!"
"My..."
"He's a monster!!!"
There was a vibrant silence between us. I hadn't realized how loud we had been yelling at each other, we had probably woken up more than one servant. The grief and fear that had come over me was a memory, I could only find anger, disappointment, heartbreak and magic. He, annoyed by my words, said:
"I understand that you have a grudge against my father, but that is no reason for you to utter such insults."
"Oh, Rodion," I hissed, and advanced the step I had retreated. "You are as blind as all the others. The man you call father is no hero. He didn't take me in out of kindness, he took me in so he could use me. And he despises me for what I am, so much so that when I was five years old he started beating me."
Rodion paled in the moonlight, but did not speak.
"She hasn't stopped since, Rodion. I'm not sickly. The days I spent locked in my room pretending to be sick was because he didn't want anyone to see me covered in bruises."
"Fyodor Aursong is a hero," he replied, however. "He has saved countless people and is a good man. What you say cannot be true."
I sighed. I didn't recognize the young man in front of me. Maybe I had never seen him before.
"I thought you were a hero, too. But a hero doesn't leave out someone he claims to love."
"Perse, I... Orders are orders."
I smiled a smile of disbelief and looked him in the eye.
"It will be as you wish, then. It's over, Rodion."
I turned my back on him and headed for the mansion. Then, I heard him exclaim behind me.
"I'm sorry, Perse. I wish everything... I will always love you."
My heart, my heart that still belonged to him, cracked all over. One of my tears ended up wetting my lips, and its salty taste was the most intense sensation I felt at a moment when I thought I was dying inside. However, I said without turning around:
"I hope I don't."