Aurora's P.O.V.
"Girl, I'm sooo sorry," is the first thing that my best friend Janaé has said to me once I had opened my newly fixed door to my apartment to her.
And all I could really think while looking at that girl's battered face was that she was still my friend, even after how she had betrayed me. I mean, me and Janaé go back a really long way. Sis is like family to me, and I love her.
Which is exactly why what she did had honestly hurt so badly.
"Just hurry up and come in, Janaé," I grudgingly say, stepping aside and allowing her to make her way in.
Two weeks later...
My cell phone rings, and I roll my eyes when I see the white boy's name on the caller ID.
Incoming: Em
Yes, I have updated his name from THE ASSHOLE to just Em, y'all.
Don't really know why, because it's not like I have any plans whatsoever to keep talking to this man.
Because like... my life is already complicated enough.
Ever since everything that I've been through lately, I haven't really trusted anybody, and I've pretty much stayed to myself.
I didn't know how to trust anyone anymore, you guys, because it seems like everybody in my life always lies to me or betrays me in some way.
I've pretty much barricaded myself at my apartment, after having the door that Suge Knight and his goons had kicked in fixed and reinforced, installing some sort of a top notch brand new security system on it.
And speaking of security, I had to also replace literally like my whole team, just because of what Janaé had told me that day about some of my previous bodyguards possibly secretly working for Jeffrey. Which I absolutely hated doing because like... what about those dudes working for me that were actually loyal to ME? Getting rid of them right along with the potential bad apples was wrong of me, and I still feel sort of guilty about having had done it, but then, after everything that I've been through lately, I just couldn't afford to put myself in any danger, even if I hated feeling so weak and so cowardly.
I am still keeping Janaé around though, despite of her snaking me like she did.
I mean, I literally couldn't care less if she was seeing Jeffrey behind my back, even of the whole behind my back part does bother me a little bit. But the thing is, I always knew how she felt about him, and I was literally encouraging it. My two best friends hooking up and living happily ever after together would actually be pretty cool.
But my thing is, once she found out about what Jeffrey did to me, and she STILL went to him AFTER knowing that, that's what's hurt me so much, because that's not what friends do.
And I'd like to say that it's all water under the bridge now, but I don't even know if that's actually the case, but something in me is telling me to give my best friend the benefit of the doubt, so that's what's I been doing. I've been letting Janaé stay here with me, it honestly actually feels better this way anyways, I still get panic attacks sometimes, and I hate being left completely by myself.
Anyways, Em is calling me now, and I was going to ignore his call like I've been doing the last few days, not wanting anymore complications in my already messy life.
"Girl, go ahead, just answer him," Janaé then says, slightly rolling her eyes as she plops down next to me on the sofa.
"Fuck for?" I give her a weird look.
"Because you like him, duh," Janaé then sighs. "Which honestly, is not in good taste at all, but it is what it is."
"Hoe, please," I attempt to ignore her.
"Girlllll!!" Janaé then quite literally snatches my phone from my hand, flips it open and presses the talk button on the keyboard, pushing the small device to one of my ears as I give her a death glare which she returns.
"I hate you!" I mouth to her, before shakily speaking into the phone, not even knowing what I'm so nervous for, I mean, it's just Em.
"Hello?"
"Love you too, boo," Janaé then mouths back to me, blowing me a kiss.
The two of us acting exactly how we used to always be around each other, as if her betrayal has never even happened, even though we DID talk about it.
"Fuck, you actually picked up this time? No sending my ass to voicemail??" Em says sarcastically at the other end of the line while I give Janaé another death stare before turning away from her.
"Um... I'm sorry, I've been sort of... busy. Then again, why am I even apologizing to you?! Nigga, I don't have to talk to you!" I say defensively.
"Shit, I don't gotta talk to you neither, girl. The only reason I do is cause..."
"Because you still have that weird guilt complex over what's happened to me, well, don't, Em! And just drop it already!"
"Yo, it ain't why I keep calling you at all!" The white boy exclaims angrily then, and I'm just about to say something else mean to him to try and push him away before he goes and hurts me jusy like everybody else has been doing lately, until Janaé nudges me hard in my side. I give her a side glance over my shoulder.
"Anyway, how have you been, how's Hai?" I then ask Em stupidly, knowing damn well that my side mood switch just now must've given that poor guy a whiplash.
I roll my eyes at Janaé then who nods somewhat approvingly at me.
"Yo, what the... I mean, she's good, she's back in the D, and I just came back to LA," Em then says, sounding rightfully so bewildered as all hell. "She uh... actually wanted me to say hi to her. As you know my daughter is real fond of you, Aurora. Can't say that I can relate to that, but it is what it is."
"Boy, whatever, you love me," I joke, instantly biting my tongue as Janaé gives me wide disapproving eyes and nudges me again, and I could just kick myself, because why would I even say something stupid like that to him?!
"Bitch, please! You wish that shit was true," Em starts busting out laughing at the other end of the line, and I roll my eyes, but then start laughing right along with him.
"Nigga, you know I'm playing with you," I giggle.
"Nah, but for real, when you coming back to the studio yo?" He then asks me, totally random. "Cause I miss you in here, not even gonna lie. Nobody to barge in on me and yell at me, and call me all kinds of jerk offs and assholes when I'm tryna work on my music," Em continues to talk.
"Yeah okay, boy, you crazy."
"Nah, but I'm being for real though," his tone of voice sounding suddenly serious, me and Janaé exchange glances.
"Well, I've been recording from home lately. Doctors orders," I then quickly lie to Em, because honestly, I just didn't feel like confessing to the white boy that I've been staying pretty much confined to my apartment because of the whole thing I'm currently going through with Ja and Murder Inc, I've been like super paranoid about them dudes trying to do something to me, pathetic, I know.
But it's not even all about them, to be honest. It's also just being in public period.
After having those pics of my battered face leaked to the media after me being attacked, it feels like that's all everybody ever sees me as. Like this... victim.
And I've thought that going on Tyra Bank's show and doing that interview might've helped with it somewhat, but like no, I still feel exactly the same.
The honest truth is that I've been seeing those pics of me all beat up on the news so many times by this point, that when I look in the mirror now, that's literally like all of see, even if I've been told that my face had in fact healed up after the attack, it just doesn't look like it did at times.
Like... when I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is how I had looked that night after being attacked.
And honestly, my momma constantly talking shit to me about it whenever she sees me, doesn't help neither. Like, this woman is so hyperfixated on me keeping my good looks, that all she seems to ever see are my imperfections.
Which, according to her, had only intensified after Suge's goons had beat me up that day.
So yes, I've been feeling pretty freaking weird and ugly lately, and I don't want to be in public like that.
So, I've been confining myself to my apartment, even if it doesn't even feel like the safest place anymore at all. Not after how easy it was for Suge to infiltrate it the other day.
"So, you just be staying in doors all the goddamn time, for real? Must get boring as fuck, yo," Em tells me, and I roll my eyes at him, even if I know damn well that the boy can't even see me right now.
"I mean, sort of," i shrug.
"You want some company, cause I could come over," he then blurts out, and I instantly feel a strange sort of heat rush to my cheeks as I frantically shake my head.
I'm starting to say hell no, but Janaé quickly throws her hand over my mouth.
"Girl, just say yes," she mouths to me.
"Bitch, you crazy?! NO!!" I mouth back.
Janaé then takes the phone out of my hand and snaps it shut, effectively hanging up on Em.
"Bitch, what did you just..." I start to scold her, but my good sis holds up her index finger of one hand to me, as she flips my phone back open with her other hand and begins typing on it.
I try to snatch the small device away from her, but she dodges me.
And in the end, after it's all said and done, and she finally hands my cell back to me, I read in agony all of the texts she's sent to Em on my behalf.
She apparently told him that the reason I've just hang up on him was actually due to a phone service issue. Then, she proceeded to tell him on my behalf that I would in fact like for us to to hang out, so let him come over whenever he had the time for it later on tonight, we could watch a movie or something, and for him to bring pizza. She even told him which toppings were my favorite kind, which happens to be pineapples and ham (Hawaiian pizza), about which Em seemed to be morbidly disgusted in his texts back to me, but he quickly conceded, talking about some, he would make half on the pizza to be Hawaiian then, for me, while the other half would be either plain or pepperoni, for him.
"Girl, why would you do that?" An exasperated groan passes my lips as I snap my phone back shut again, giving my friend a death glare.
"Cause you like him, Aurora. And hopefully, that love story has a happier ending than whatever I used to imagine me and Ja had," Janae then says quietly, barely looking at me. She takes my phone away form me and rests it on a coffee table. "I'm sorry, girl," she then looks up at me, apologizing for probably like a hundredth time. "I have never meant to betray you. Especially over no no-good nigga. But I had thought I was in love with Jeffrey, but I was wrong. I didn't know what true love was back then, but I do think that I sort of see it now. It's in the way I love you, and that's on no lesbo shit, I just realize now that love can come in different shapes, it come come in a former of friendship too. As long as you are hoping for all the best for that other person, and I do wish the most happiness on you, girl. And call me crazy, but I think Em can give it to you, cause he likes you. And you... like him too, I been peeped that back when you and him used to talk on phone all the time at Ja's place, I could see the way your whole face would light up whenever you had looked at your phone and saw that it was him calling you. And like... at first, I couldn't stand the motherfucker no way, especially after the way he had played you at the club that time, but... I do believe people and their feelings can change, and well, the white boy's feelings for you now, I think that it's genuine, A."
"Girl, get the fuck out of here!" Is all I can force myself to say now, simply because I'm like at a loss of words right now!
Then I add, "Janaé, you know damn well that Em coming over here couldn't possibly be the best of ideas anyways, regardless of how I might or might NOT feel about him. Suge's goons could still be spying on me, and I wouldn't want my business to go back to Ja and for whatever it is to cause Em trouble."
"Girl, fuck Ja!! And do you really think that Em would care about any of that? That white dude don't give a fuck no ways. Besides," she smiles somewhat mischievously at me. "If Suge's goons are out there somewhere, then I can always distract them for you. I couldn't be here anyways once Em gets here, cause I wouldn't want to like... be the third wheel. So, just leave it to me, girl."
"Janae, I can't ask you to do that."
"That's the thing though. You don't have to ask me shit. Because you are my friend, and I've got you, and I owe you this much anyways."
A few hours later...
There's a knock on my door, and I open it, looking casual as fuck.
Wearing a Juicy Couture sweatsuit and a pink bandanna over my head, wanting desperately to appear as though I haven't put any effort at all in my appearance because I don't want Marshall to get the wrong idea in that bleached-blonde head of his and think that us hanging out like that is something serious when it's like literally NOT!