Take a walk around my way. See the life I see, feel the air I feel and then maybe you'd understand why I love my city so much. It carried me on its back since I was born so I carry it in my blood.
"Whatcha reading?" She looked up to find Aiko peeping down at her curiously.
"Oh...it's just something I wrote when I was younger."
"Ah gotcha." Closing the book, she put it underneath her skirt.
"When you come up, I ain't even hear you." Aiko grinned.
"Girl, you gotta pay closer attention. I been here." She sucked her teeth.
"Nah, all that is is you need to announce yourself. You forget back home you catch a bullet for pulling that mess." Aiko laughed.
"Here is more home than there for me anyway so yeah I forgot."
"Right..."
"What's up with you today Rae? You seem out of it." She blinked, clearing up her vision and looked at Aiko.
"Nah, I'm good."
"Mm. No you're not." The desire to release rose up in her chest but she held it down.
"Okay I know Iwase is like your only friend here but you could have more. Open up Rae."
"Whatchu mean Iwase's my only friend? I got more than just him."
"Girl who Nakamura Tobu? Girl bye, that's two out of the whole school."
"Okay okay so I have no friends."
"But it don't have to been that way. You so closed off sometimes girl. It's like talkin to a wall." She looked at her.
"Aiko..."
"Well. Somebody gotta be real. I'm doin this cause I think you're a mad cool girl. And I really think we could be real tight. Open up a little bit... not just to Iwase. You got other people who care about you too!"
"I know....I know."
"I'm sorry if you feel I came for you Rae. I did't mean to-"
"Nah. You're fine Aiko. You're right. Thank you."
"That's what friends are for." She smiled and looked down at her manuscript on the paper.
"So... what made you write that?" She sighed and closed her eyes. The breeze hushed across her face.
"In these pages, I could let go and just release whatever I was feeling at the time. And it was a lot going on."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Back in New York.. in my town... things you saw were better off left unseen and kept quiet."
***
Tying his shoe laces, he stood up to stretch. A 5 mile run would kill his boredom and get his blood flowing. Normally, he planned his whole day but today he was going to play it by ear. Just go where the wind led him. He put in his head phones and plugged out of the world as he began to run.
***
His heart beat so fast in his chest it felt as though it would pump through his skin. Sweat dampened his hair and his face was pink with exertion. His legs led him to a small mart, his body burning with the intense desire for water. He walked into the mart and picked up two bottles of water. Casually scanning the snacks and other items, he made his way to the front when someone called out to him.
"Iwase." He turned flat eyes on the person.
"Mitsugi." She smiled a little.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, taking her gaze away from him. He shrugged.
"Ran a while. I'm thirsty so here I am."
"Ah,"
"Are you well?" At his question, she glanced up quickly.
"Ah.. yes! Um... Just came from hanging out with Rae..." Hm. He hadn't asked her to tell him her business but the mention of Rae made his lip twitch in the slightest smile.
"That so?"
"Yeah."
"Hm." He turned from her and put the bottles of water on the counter and quickly paid for them.
"Iwase!" He stopped but didn't turn his head.
"Rae... Rae's really fragile you know. She may act like she is okay but... sometimes the mask cracks and the faults start to show. From one of her friends to another... I want to ask you something."
"That is?"
"I'd like not to talk to the back of your head." He turned around to look her straight in the eye.
"What is your purpose?" He sighed audibly and fought not to roll his eyes.
"You're like the rest. Always questioning my motive."
"Can you blame me? You're the most popular guy in this city. Girls flock to you. And dudes envy you like nobody's business. It's only natural to question why a dude like you would choose Rae out of all girls to get close to."
"Let's get one thing straight. I didn't choose her. She choose me."
"Okay. You've chosen her since."
"Why are you like this Mitsugi? Honestly, I'm starting to grow annoyed."
"I'm in your business for Rae's sake. I really care about her. I don't doubt you have good intentions but with your reputation, anybody would be skeptical. If you're really down for Rae, promise me one thing..."
"What is it?"
"Promise that when her mask cracks and she feels like she cannot make it that you will be there for her. No matter what. Just go to her when she needs you." He looked into her eyes and saw that she was almost pleading him. She was fiercely loyal to Rae and it pleased him to see that.
"I give you my word Mitsugi." She looked satisfied and took a breath.
"Well then I think I got in your grill enough tonight. You're a good guy Iwase."
"Thanks."
"See you then."
"See you." He watched her leave the mart and get into a car. Soon she drove off. Mitsugi Aiko was something else. Another bomb, much like Rae. He wasn't sure what he thought about her completely but he could say this: She was just as deadly as she was beautiful.
***
The sidewalks are all the same, blurring into one large piece of cement. It's grey all around. Cold, wet and lumpy. It's a concrete city, where dogs, rats and bullets find the funniest places to play.
"Minako?"
"Yes?"
"I want to call Tre." Silence.
"Ah, Rae I don't think that it is good time."
"It's been months. Surely the mafia isn't still after me." She looked uncomfortable, quite un 'Minako' like.
"Rae..."
"Listen, you don't understand how much I am hurting right now. I need to talk to my brother."
".... Okay... I get phone." She got up and soon returned.
"He does not have your number. Only mine."
"That's fine." It wasn't fine but for now it didn't matter.
"Be careful Rae." She dialed Tre's number. Riiiiing. Riiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiii-
"Minako?" The voice on the other end made her gasp for air. Fingers tightly gripped the cell phone.
"Hello?" It couldn't be... For one tiny moment, she reveled in a voice not heard in so long, a voice not her brother's.
"It's... It's Rae." She could hear the shock and silence on the other end. Tears welled up in her eyes.
".....Nugget?" She smiled.
"Hi Mama."
"Oh God... my baby...Ebere...."
"Yeah...Mama..."
"I'm... We're sorry it ended up like this...We didn't intend to keep you so long there but... you know we had to protect you."
"I know Ma. I know that now. I was so angry at y'all. I was hurt. I felt like y'all just dumped me here for somethin I did." She could hear her mother sniffling.
"No baby. You didn't do anything. We couldn't tell you otherwise you wouldn't have gone. You my stubborn baby so you would have fought tooth and nail. We didn't want you to get hurt."
"I know."
"Tell me about life there...how is school? Did you make friends? Is it true they eat rice and fish all the time?"
"Mama!" She chuckled.
"Girl, you always was more adventurous than me! And open towards others! Teach your Ma a few things!"
"I adapted to life here. Minako made it easier. I met this guy...a classmate of mine..." She wasn't going to tell her all of what happened to her. Short and sweet and to the point things.
"He's nice. Kinda monotone but nice. Had to get him to warm up."
"What's classmate's name?"
"Oh it's Iwase."
"Iwase?"
"Yeah we use last names here instead of first."
"Oh..."
"Yeah I met him and his friend, another classmate too first. And um I met this girl and she's cool. She's black and Japanese."
"Wow!" She laughed.
"Ma, she is gorgeous. And real. Guess where she from?"
"Japan of course!"
"And New York. Harlem."
"Even better! Look at God connectin you with people from back home."
"Yeah. She's a good friend!"
"It sounds like you are getting along well. I notice your accent is more Japanese soundin."
"Oh.... yeah I gotta speak Japanese a lot. I'm still learning."
"That's great nugget!" She pressed the phone into her eat.
"Ma, tell me... is Famil still searchin for the eggs?" In case they were tappin... she had to be careful somewhere...
"Not in a while. We're... doing fine for the moment."
"Daddy?"
"He's... getting things smoothed over..Had to really work for that... but... we're good."
"That's what I needed to hear."
"Rae,"
"When can I come home?" Silence stretched far longer this time.
"...Hon-honey it's looking like.... for a little while longer..."
"How much longer?"
"I... I don't know..."
"Ma..."
"It's hard on me too... all of us Nugget! Everybody missin you."
"I miss them."
"Look, I'll call you again soon."
"I have my own."
"We'll see."
"O-Okay..."
"Gotta go fix your daddy some dinner." Tears came back to her eyes.
"Okay Ma."
"Don't cry sweetheart...we gon see each other again...keep outta trouble, mind your business, do your work and stay away from them boys." She chuckled.
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay... I got to go. I love you."
"Love you too! Tell Tre nem I love em!"
"Will do."
"Bye Ma."
"Bye Nugget." The phone line went dead after a while and she slowly closed Minako's phone.
"Thank you. I'm gonna go shower." She handed Minako her phone and went upstairs, tears streaming down her face.
***
Tears. I'm so tired of crying. Crying over everything. Hurt, pain, even my own fears. I put on because I feel I have to. Fam watchin. Streets watchin. Can't ever get caught up slippin. Slip and die.
***
"Who is Rae Marshall?" Screams from kids and teenagers surrounded them as carnival rides whirred past them.
"I am... I am..."
"A girl who has so much to say but no one to say it to?"
"Okay...I don't know what all you said." He grinned. He had surprised her when he had dropped by her house this morning unannounced and told her to get dressed. He had waited patiently inside the foyer and greeted Minako warmly. He wouldn't tell her where he was going until she saw the rides.
"You know, you've never told me anything about you. How do we know each other this long but know nothing of each other?"
"You've told me your life story."
"And yet I haven't heard yours."
"What is it with you suddenly? Why the sudden desire to know all about me?" His lip twitched in a smile and he tugged on her wrist, slowing her gait.
"I've always wanted to know about you Rae." Sucking her teeth, she huffed.
"Boy please."
"What?"
"Hiroto."
"Yes?"
"Drop it."
"I've been dropping it. Ever since I met you I've dropped it. I'm tired of dropping it." He tightened his grip only slightly, making her stop. She purposely didn't look at him.
"Remember the time you asked me what I wanted from you?"
"..."
"I told you I wanted to be there for you."
"..."
"Rae..." She found tears welling up in her eyes and blinked them away. Today was not the day. All this tryna get in her business was unexpected and not planned.
"Hiroto, leave me alone. Damn." She pulled her wrist free.
"Don't be angry."
"Well..."
"Let's go on the ferris wheel."
"Fine." She let him lead her through the throng of people, many eating, having a great time and laughing at the festivities. You keep this up and you are going to push him away. Honest to God she was scared. How would he treat her, look at her if she told him? Sure, she hadn't judged him when he told her about his life. Rather, she had embraced him even more. But her life was... just as screwed up. And only the pages of her diary knew the real her.
"Hiroto..." He wasn't looking at her but turned his head towards her slightly.
"I didn't mean to snap at you like that."
"We all have our days."
"Yeah."
"Thank God the line isn't long. Have you ever been on one?"
"No not really. We have this big one in Coney Island."
"Coney Island?"
"Yeah, it's like this amusement park."
"Ah."
"I'm scared of heights."
"Don't be afraid. I'm here."
"Okay..." She waited as he exchanged words with the ticket man and grinning, pulled her into the seat. Unlike the ones back home in the states, these seats were fully enclosed which made her feel safer... some. The door clicked shut and once more people came on, the ride started.
"Oh crap!" She screeched and reached out to grip his hand. He laughed, watching her.
"This is not funny Hiroto!!"
"Yes it is." She growled as he laughed harder.
"Shut up dude."
"It's okay Rae. Look." She fervently shook her head no. Bump that shit.
"Nah."
"Rae, don't be a wimp."
"I told you I ain't like heights and you bring me up here anteeway."
"Calm down... come on... relax." She had squeezed her eyes shut tight but slowly opened them. From where they were, they could see the whole city.
"Roto...." Despite the view, the dread in her stomach would not settle. He gently sat up and pulled her against him.
"Take deep breaths. Look at me." She turned towards him and pressed her face against his collarbone, her hand still tightly gripping his.
"I'm scared, what if we fall?"
"We won't."
"How do you know that?"
"We're safe and sturdy. Nothing is going to happen."
"You sound so calm." He chuckled.
"One of us has to be right?" She smiled.
"You and your smart ass comments."
"I'm actually withholding what I really want to say."
"Oh really? What is it you have to really say Iwase Hiroto?" He looked down into her eyes, his expression soft and relaxed.
"What time is it?" He asked. She shrugged.
"I don't know. Probably evening by now."
"Aha. The sun is setting."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"Mm." He glanced back down at her.
"You were made to be paired with the setting sunlight. It's strange but... the way your skin looks in contrast with the hues of the dusk... it's... very beautiful." Her cheeks grew warm and she felt her palm grow moist so she quickly let go of his hand and gripped her skirt instead. Damn. Did he have to put it like that?! Who sounded like Shakespeare writing a sonnet? She took a breath and smiled shakily.
"T-Thank you..."
"It's the truth."
"Oh... um..." She took another breath and looked away from him. This moment felt... so natural even though it felt unspoken. It felt like a date. But... in the same way it didn't. It just felt natural to be with him like this. It was so clear that what they felt for one another went beyond friendship. Was that something else she was afraid of? Being with Hiroto? A part of her wanted to be more than just 'Rae his friend' but another part of her was content in being just that. Moments like this just made it more confusing.
"What's running through your mind right now? I can see it running a thousand miles a minute." That soft look on his face melted her heart.
"Nothing..."
"Hm."
"Hiroto?"
"Yes?"
"Have you ever been to New York?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Tell me about it. What it is like."
"The New York I know may not be what everyone else knows."
"How so?" The wheel came down and soon they were back up in the air, the colors of the sun growing brighter.
"It wasn't very nice. A place where danger was always present."
"Mm."
"That's why I always had my brothers with me. All of them protected me."
"Yeah?"
"Mmhm." She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder.
"My oldest brother is Tre. He always been overprotective of me."
"As he should be."
"Back home, I was known by everybody. Kinda like a saint. Or maybe I just tried to get along with everyone. Maybe my brothers scared them. My part is tough but it's real."
"Sounds like a place of character."
"You could say that. It makes your skin thick real quick. You can't be a punk and live where I'm from."
"All the older folk had wisdom and afrocentricism in their roots, black power, black love, black business, black everything."
"Anyone who wasn't was shunned. Outta here if you didn't fit in."
"Even so... I still love my city. It's hard because... for so long I wanted to break out and be free, fly away and stretch my wings. But even still Hiroto... I can't forget. Or forgive." She grew quiet and he gently wrapped his arm around her.
"Forgiveness is always the hardest thing to do. Can we do it?"
"Don't know." She closed her eyes and let the cool summer air relax her. The heat from Hiroto's hand and body comforted her and she smiled softly. This ride wasn't so bad after all. More so than that, the hero always had to have someone to talk to... the hero wasn't so heroic behind closed doors. Maybe it was time for the hero to come into the light.
A/N: Rae has a mask too but she's kept it up whereas Hiroto has let his come down. I wonder, who is Rae Marshall? Really? <3