then next morning was a little awkward; geoff remembering bits and pieces, and awsten attempting to avoid all contact with him. jawn and otto were dying to question, but knowing it really wasn't any of their business at the end of the day; they had to wait til either one of them approached themselves about it.
tour was over soon; three shows left, and then it would be back to houston, separately. and yeah, geoff and awsten could hang out, but they also knew they needed time to themselves; one, because tour is long and hard and taxing, and two, due to whatever it was they had going on. they needed to figure things out, themselves out.
the charlotte show went fine, just fine. the second awsten got off stage he made a beeline out of the venue, not wanting to make another stupid decision this week. geoff watched him go-a disheartened look on his face-but he made no move to go after him, knowing he most likely caused this.
"where's aws?" the brunette heard otto ask, his voice sounding distant and far away, his brain clouded.
"left," geoff replied, turning around to face his friend. "best guess, to the van."
"what do you mean 'best guess'? did you not ask?" otto asked, getting more and more worried.
the silence was all he needed, sighing out angrily before calling over to jawn. "stay with him, i'm gonna go check on awsten," and with that he left too, practically sprinting to the bandwagon and hurriedly making his way inside.
he swears his heart halts in his chest as he heard a soft sniffle, and then silence, almost as if the person-awsten-were trying to hide. otto sighed out solemnly, approaching awsten's bunk, heart-wrenching as he saw his blanketed form shaking, presumably from his sobs that he was desperately trying to keep inside.
"aws," otto said softly, sitting down by awsten's feet. "we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you're clearly not alright."
he heard his friend let out a shuddered breath before he sat up, not caring about the tears falling from his cheeks. he held his arms out and otto immediately returned that, holding his friend close-which felt drastically different than when geoff held him, but awsten wasn't about to open that can of worms, at least not now.
"i might not know what's goin' on," otto said quietly, rubbing awsten's back carefully. "but i'm here for you, we all are," he made sure not to mention names, not knowing who or what caused this episode. "and i'm sure everything will work out like it always does."
awsten nodded against his friend's shoulder, internally debating whether to open up or not. but the sound of the bandwagon hurriedly opening and closing again gave him the answer. and in walked in the two people he didn't want to see at this moment.
"aws," geoff's voice spoke soft, he didn't want to even look at him.
"guys," otto interrupted before his friend could fuck this up further, "go."
it sounded like geoff wanted to argue but jawn pulled him away, realizing what they'd walked into. he warned geoff not to go in there, but of course he did anyway. the brunette had a heart of gold, but man was his head empty. he walked geoff outside, ready to chastise his friend until he saw his crestfallen expression.
"what's up?" he asked, not knowing where to even start with whatever was happening here.
"nothing, jawn," geoff sighed, and the redhead knew this wouldn't really go far.
"if you don't wanna tell me, that's fine," he began, laying a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "but know that you can tell me whatever you want or need. and i promise i won't be goofy about it."
"you promise?" geoff asked, a small smile playing on his lips, looking up at jawn, but the smile didn't quite meet his eyes.
jawn nodded, looking at him expectantly, but not pushy, thank god.
"it's awsten."
"what-what do you mean, 'it's awsten'?" the redhead quirked a brow, needing more context than just that. but when was geoff ever good at explaining things?
"we uh, i feel," the brunette huffed in frustration. "we had a moment, alright?"
geoff expected a mocking expression at the very least, but no, jawn looked...understanding? the redhead nodded, allowing him to go on.
"we uh, almost kissed last night? it was stupid and a mistake-"
"was it to you?" jawn asked, a real genuine question for once.
"yes...no? ugh, i don't know," the brunette huffed, running rushed hands over his face. "i know i wanted it, even though i was drunk."
jawn immediately brought him into a tight hug. "'m proud of you, gee."
this was unexpected-at least to geoff-it wasn't every day that jawn was touchy and mushy. "...what for?"
"telling me all that, it takes balls." there's the jawn geoff knew and sometimes loved. "we can talk feelings whenever you need, just know i'm horrible at all this."
"oh i know it, man," geoff replied, letting jawn go. "can you text otto if we're okay to go in? if not i can fuck around somewhere until i can, i understand if aws doesn't wanna see me right now, prolly fucked with his head, fuck."
back in the bandwagon otto was hearing the same story, in more details of course, but more or less the same.
"we almost kissed," awsten whispered, otto's hand running up and down his back soothingly, careful not to overstimulate awsten as he could already tell this conversation was already going to be mentally taxing. "he was drunk, and he stopped it. i just feel like a horrible person for almost letting it happen when he was clearly inebriated."
his friend nodding, understanding the tricky predicament, letting awsten rest his head on his shoulder as he fiddled with his own fingers.
"we hugged, he tried to let go but i just," he sniffled. "didn't want him to? he didn't object or anything, he just let me stay. 'n he leaned down and kissed my head," the ghost of a smile was on his lips, but he just wouldn't let himself feel happy, not now.
"yeah?" otto asked rhetorically, feeling somewhat happy for his friends, this was a step for sure.
"mhm," awsten hummed, picking flakes of skin off his fingers anxiously. "and after he did he tried to take it back," otto's contentment was short-lived. "i just looked up at him and said it was fine, and um," he started to get worked up again. "he started to lean in, and regrettably ," otto's heart dropped, "i did too."
otto nodded even though he knew awsten couldn't see it.
"he backed off, said we should go to bed," his voice cracked, fear and sadness ridden in his entire tone, it couldn't be missed.
just as his friend was going to answer, his phone buzzed, he checked it out-confused as to who or what it could be. jawn texted asking if it was okay for he and or geoff to come inside, he didn't want to answer without discussing with awsten first.
"jawn's askin' if him and geoff can come back in," otto explained, leaving room for awsten to accept or decline.
"they can come back, but i wanna leave 'n get some fresh air," awsten replied in a numb hollow tone.
"i don't wanna act like your dad," awsten rolled his eyes, "but stay within the venue lot, okay?"
"you don't trust me," awsten mumbled.
"not that at all, actually," otto replied, not even offended he came to this conclusion, knowing how his friend tended to doom-think as they'd titled it. "i just wanna make sure you're close by, remember that time you went on a 'thought walk'-" "-don't call it that-" "-and you were gone for hours? don't really want a repeat."
awsten nodded, agreeing to the deal, but having another deal up his sleeve too. "before you give them the okay," the blue boy interrupted otto's typing. "they gotta wait outside with their eyes closed until i pass 'em."
otto nodded, adding that to the text, and in all caps too. awsten waited a few moments, before otto gave him the 'go-ahead'. he walked off the bandwagon, smiling how his friends actually did it-whilst also knowing it's the least they could do for him-but it was still nice nonetheless. the blue boy passed both of them with no issue, quickly scampering off to however far away he was allowed to go.
geoff didn't turn around to look at him after he heard him pass by, he simply followed jawn into the bandwagon like a sad puppy, getting a hug from otto after he walked through the door.
"listen," he began, pulling away from geoff to look at him and gauge his reaction for his next proposal. "i know all this is a lot, but can we talk about this?"
"not right now, if that's okay?" geoff asked, uncharacteristically meek.
otto nodded in understanding, "all good, i'll stay up to make sure aws gets back, goodnight."
and with that geoff and jawn were off the hook, free to go to bed-or at least in jawn's case. the brunette knows otto took the 'job' of waiting for awsten to make it back, but his anxiety of awsten ditching kept him up until he heard the bandwagon door open, and quiet sniffles were heard down the short hall. the brunette's heart shattered at the sound, knowing he was the one who overcomplicated this entire tour, and practically jeopardized he and awsten's friendship.
he didn't let himself rest until he heard awsten head to bed too, he made sure to turn over and face the wall as to not give away that he was awake. he cried himself to sleep that night, not realizing awsten wasn't too far off that track too.