"I thought you would never come back."
The girl couldn't wait for him to arrive, immediately throwing her arms around the boy's neck who hasn't even fully entered through the door yet. She was exasperated. Full of anxiousness.
"I told you I would." Was all he spoke with a soft smile that curled his lovely lips. She couldn't suppress her own smile, relief washing over every feature of her face.
The dim light that came from the weak light bulbs in her hallway were enhancing every detail of her face, every reason for his love and it made him feel lightheaded. Especially after the big news he received. The news he had to disclose to her now.
"Ni-ki took good care of me. He brought me home after trying to cheer me up with ice cream." The girl smiled weakly, "Please tell him thank you when you get home."
For some reason, she could feel the difference in his gaze and embrace when he didn't answer. His eyebrows were furrowed and he breathed deeply. Something was heavy on his shoulders, dragging down his consciousness and soul. She gulped, "So, what happens now?" She asked the most obvious, not wanting to waste any more time than necessary.
"Nothing." He spoke, "Nothing will happen to us."
"Jungwon." Her voice started to sound impatient, "Does your freak of a manager want us to break up? Is he checking me in? What is going to happen—"
"I won't break up with you." He sounded hollow, "I told him so."
"You can't tell me there are no consequences for you after the scene earlier."
Jungwon remained silence. He just stared at her, his eyes taking in each beautiful detail of her face and hair and everything. As if he needed to breathe one last, important time before descending into the endless depths of the sea.
What did she say again?
Panic made its way up his face, he nervously looked to her right eye first before changing to her left one, ignoring her hands that were piercing into his shoulders. What did she say to him??
"Jungwon!" She raised her voice.
"What?!"
"Why aren't you listening to me?"
"I am!" Not.
He couldn't. Voices were ringing in his head. In less than 5 days he would leave for at least two months and there was nothing he could do about it.
Oceans will separate them.
Ji's face fell. The same way her heart did.
Slowly letting go of his jacket, she let her arms hang on each side of her body.
"Your manager...he really did tell you to break up with me, didn't he?"
Jungwon's eyes widened, "No..No, that's not it—"
"Tell him that I will change. That I will go back to school and successfully finish and that I will be normal. Tell him that I will be ordinary. That I am okay!" She declared with determination, surprising the boy in front of her.
"What?" He shook his head not quite following her words, "Ji, that's not it. Even if he did tell me to break up with you, I wouldn't. I love you the way you are. I never pitied you."
"But I will change. I will get better."
He remained quiet, not knowing what to say.
"Ji."
"I will! I promise." Suddenly she started crying. And smiling. It was as if her eyes danced without her body following. It was her soul that danced. "That weird manager will have his eyes popping out of his skull after he sees how well I am. I will prove him wrong and..and everyone else too. Just— Just give me a few weeks and I will be—"
"I am so proud of you, believe me. Please." Jungwon smiled. Brokenly, "But...we are leaving. I am leaving. We are going on a world tour."
"...What?"
"Not forever!" He quickly assured, his hand on top of hers. Her hands were so cold, "I will be back in about two months, not more. We will text every day. And call and talk, you will never get rid of me."
He attempted to lift up the mood, but the shock on her face only sent more pain through his heart.
"Oh." Was the only thing she managed to utter. The tears from before returned, they were flowing uncontrollably, but instead of a frown a smile was on her face,
"Oh, fuck— Fuck, that's so great, are you kidding? Enhypen's first world tour! You guys are going to gain so much more popularity and..and success..." Her voice gave in, allowing loud sobs to come to the surface. He immediately pulled her into his arms, like puzzle pieces they fit together, "T-This was your dream, wasn't it? You..You worked so hard for this."
"Ji." Jungwon shook his head, trying to calm her unsteady breathing by stroking her hair, "Two months are so long. I don't know if I can take it. I've been a mess without you for a week. How am I going to survive two months?"
"Jungwon, you are out of your mind! This is your dream." She pulled away from the embrace, hoping her words will reach him better when facing him.
"And..what if something happens to you while I'm gone? What if you— you..." He couldn't bring himself to end the sentence and now it was her that shook her head.
"I just told you that I will change. I will get better." She spoke with a bright smile, and he could have sworn it was the most genuine and sincere smile he had ever seen, "Look at me! I will be okay! This ugly version of myself will never cross your path again. The moment you return from your world tour, you won't be the only one that's successful and happy. I will be happy and healed and just— improved and finally okay. I will get a job and be independent...and.."
Before she could continue he had already snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him and giving him the opportunity to hide his face in the crook of her neck. He was leaning back onto the cabinet behind him so his height would be perfect to snuggle even closer to the girl. His hair was pricking and tickling the side of her face and nape and she could feel his other free hand gently going up her back.
"I..am scared of losing you." He admitted. And even though she couldn't see his face, his voice was full of vulnerability and pain.
"Do you not trust me..?" She whispered, trying to ignore her fast beating heart from how close he was, "I revised every school work I missed. I called the headmaster, asked him about my return and I filled out all the documents needed...Everything is falling into place."
"But I don't want to leave."
"This is your dream." She reminded him, "Your fans need you."
"And I need you." The hurt in his eyes startled her, "We only have a few days left in our relationship and—"
"Then let's make the most of it." Ji's gaze was exploding with determination and for a moment Jungwon was lost in admiration for the girl in front of him, "Till you leave to see the world that I will never get to see, we will spend every day together, so waiting for you will only hurt half as much."
"You will wait for me?"
"Why? You want me to go around kissing strangers instead?"
"No!"
Maybe he will actually succeed in getting the happy end for them. Maybe he will.
_
xxx_ji:
i bought my baby a new outfit!!
xxx_ji:
junglost:
thought you were talking about me for a hot second
xxx_ji:
ew fuck you i wasn't
junglost:
i don't like it
xxx_ji:
ugh, you never like anything
junglost:
what do you mean??
junglost:
i like you
xxx_ji:
fuck off
junglost:
she looks like she would steal alcohol from a convenience store by hiding it in her jacket
xxx_ji:
following in her mother's foot steps
junglost:
ji?
xxx_ji:
kidding, alcohol tastes fucking nasty i wouldn't get addicted to that
xxx_ji:
cigarettes on the other hand...
junglost:
JI????
xxx_ji:
I AM KIDDING
junglost:
i hate every joke of yours
junglost:
every single one
junglost:
they almost send me into cardiac arrest every time
xxx_ji:
so romantic am i right❤️
junglost:
totally
xxx_ji:
you know what
xxx_ji:
i got an idea
xxx_ji:
i think we should date...you and me
junglost:
we already are dating.
xxx_ji:
....right...
junglost:
can i come over today?
junglost:
i want to see woncat's outfit in real life
xxx_ji:
i can't today but how about tomorrow?
junglost:
why?
xxx_ji:
there are things i need to take care of
junglost:
tomorrow i am busy
xxx_ji:
busy with what???
junglost:
meeting my divorce lawyer
xxx_ji:
jungwonnnnn🙄🙄🙄
junglost:
you said we'd see each other everyday before i leave :(
junglost:
you lied
xxx_ji:
at least i'm not the famous celebrity that has to leave in the first place
junglost:
ji........
xxx_ji:
okay okay you can wait in my apartment till i'm back
xxx_ji:
what do you think?
xxx_ji:
you know where the key is
junglost:
deal
_
ji's p.o.v
Closing the door behind me, I could immediately feel the difference in the air.
This cardboard house. These four-walls that I wanted to escape from so often were all of a sudden filled with warmth and life.
And it was all thanks to him.
"There you are!" Jungwon's cheerful voice greeted me first, before he revealed himself with woncat in his arms. The cat has grown so much, but in the boy's arms she looked as adorable and small as she did on day one.
"Hey." I softly spoke, tired from all the errands I had run today. Right away I started walking towards my living room, unconsciously giving Jungwon the cold shoulder as I walked past him.
"Hey!" I could hear him sulk behind me, "I was waiting for hours and all I get is a Hey?"
Letting myself fall onto the couch, I felt the soft cushions surround me and my aching body. I felt safe. And tired.
I had trouble sleeping for so long, but for some reason Jungwon's presence comforted the inner child within me, "I met my previous teacher earlier. That's why I was busy." I spoke half-mindlessly as if I was about to drift off to a deep slumber.
The boy who had sensed my tiredness immediately sat down next to me, "Who?"
"My teacher. I can go to school tomorrow again." I had a mischievous smile on my face, trying to conceal the true happiness I felt for the progress I have made.
"Really?!"
I didn't need to open my eyes to know how proud he was of me. Chuckling, I eventually did open my eyes slightly. His bright expression made my heart flutter. He was more excited about me going to school again than going on a world tour himself. I could feel his fingers gently tracing circles on the back of my hand, contributing to my urge to simply fall asleep.
"Yeah..." I turned to look at him with tired eyes, "Do you want to sleep over today?"
Maybe it was the tiredness getting to my head, but I would have never asked something remotely close to this if I had been a hundred percent awake and conscious.
"If you allow me to." He grinned as if he noticed the deep regret on my face after asking, "I mean, I already told the others that I would spent most of my time with you before the world tour—"
"Shh." I quickly shut him up, sloppily putting my index finger on his lips to shush him. He just continued to grin, obviously trying to suppress the smirk that was making its way up to his lips, "Don't mention that."
And the next moment Jungwon organized himself a blanket and laid it down next to me as I repositioned myself on the couch so I would be able to look down on him.
"You don't need to lay on the ground. There's enough space on the couch, Jungwon."
"No, it's fine. I want it to be as comfortable for you as possible."
"What a gentleman."
"Yeah, I can't lose my gentleman card just yet."
"Did you know..." My eyes widened when I noticed how serious the atmosphere turned the moment I started speaking. The moon was bright, I was holding Jungwon's hand under my blanket and just a second ago I was imagining a future with him.
My future. I have never thought about my future before. Since I was so sure that I wouldn't make it that far anyway.
Maybe that's why I never had ambitions or passions in my life. I thought I would die before achieving any of them.
That's when Jungwon hummed in response to the sentence that I haven't finished yet.
"I..."
"Yeah? You can tell me." He sensed the hesitation in my voice. His voice was tired too, but still sounded as honeyed as always.
"You know, I...If I wasn't the way I was, I wanted to get married later." I spoke truthfully and laughed to myself when I noticed how silly I must have sounded. The little me had so many dreams and hopes. Especially when it came to love, "I mean, yeah, I don't think I could have children. I don't think I could have the strength to. I've never received parental love in my life...How can I be sure that I will love my own kids right? I'm too scared."
I thought about it for a long time, "But marriage sounds nice, I think."
"I feel the same."
I could feel the boy next to me sit up to face me, which startled me to the core. The light of the moon behind him reflected in his eyes and somehow made them even more beautiful, "Let's get married later. Right now I am too young and immature, but the moment I feel mature enough, I will ask for your hand."
I pretended to cringe and turned away from him, now facing the couch's back. But a part of me was crying from happiness that I almost teared up. Almost.
"Do you want to elope with me?"
"Jungwon!" I laughed and hit his shoulder. It was a bit difficult from the couch but I managed to do just fine.
"I am serious!"
"Yeah. Later." I echoed thoughtfully, my eyes counting the stars which I glued onto my ceiling. They glowed in the dark. I smiled, "I have to change myself first."
"I will fall in love with you regardless."
"No, but I'm hurting you." I swallowed hard, closing my eyes, "I don't want to hurt you."
For a moment it was quiet, the tranquility of the night engulfed us and I thought he had fallen asleep after I heard him lay down again.
It was comforting to have him sleep next to me.
His sudden voice brought me back to reality just when I was about to fall asleep again.
"Do you know what my biggest fear is?"
"What is it, Jungwon."
"Falling asleep next to someone..." He paused, "And to wake up the next day all alone with that person nowhere to be found."
ji's p.o.v end
(a/n: the amounts of reads and votes on this book are insane like i can't believe you guys are as sick in the head as i am (and ji, of course) i love you)
:¨·.·¨:
'·. please vote and comment if you enjoyed reading this chapter<3 ★°*ﾟ