"What's wrong, Yeji?" I ask while walking in front of her.
"Why are you here? And don't tell me because you were worried!" She snaps.
"Did I do something wrong?" I try to hide the panic in my voice.
She doesn't answer and continues to cry.
I sit down next to her and I wrap my arm around her then she rests her head on my shoulder while she covers her face with her hands.
I feel relief that she's not actually mad at me because if she was then she wouldn't let me hold her like this.
"Why do you do this?" She finally speaks.
"I don't know what you mean" I answer truthfully.
"I feel so stupid for crying right now and I don't even know why I am crying. I just know that I want to cry and I hate you for caring so damn much about me and making me feel this way!" She pulls away from me and she turns her body to face me.
"Yeji" I say while trying to figure out what's happening right now.
"You went out on a date with HER?" She frowns. I notice that she emphasized the word 'her' but I try not to focus on it.
"How could you?" She asks and something clicks in my head.
Is she against same sex couples? But she can't be. Her best friend is dating another woman.
"Yeji, you're gonna have to explain what's happening because I'm really lost" I say to her.
"Why are you so nice to me? Why do you treat me the way you do? Why do you make me feel so loved and wanted?" She asks instead of explaining.
I want to tell her the truth but I'm scared it will make things awkward between us. I don't want to ruin how we are now.
"Because you're family now. You're carrying my brother's kid" I say a safe answer but she just cries more.
"Is that it? Nothing more?" She sounds desperate.
A hopeful voice in my head is saying maybe she may feel something for me too but I don't want to assume and embarrass myself. I keep my mouth shut instead of asking if she possibly has feelings me.
"I tried so hard to make you fall for me. I didn't know your sexuality but I thought maybe you'd still fall for me even if you were into guys. Now, I've come to find out that you're into women and you went on a date with someone else. Was I the only one thinking we had a connection?"
Her confession leaves me speechless. I want to tell her how I feel too but my mouth won't open.
"Is it because of your brother? Is it because I'm carrying his child so you can't see me as something more than just a friend?" She adds.
"Y—you have feelings for me?" The only words that comes out.
"Yes, I thought it was obvious" She shows frustration.
"I'm so stupid for thinking that you could have romantic feelings for me. I guess you're just that kind to take care of me the way you do" she stands and is about to walk away but I grab her hand to stop her.
I stand too while I look down to process everything that's going on. I don't know what to say or what to do in this situation. She's made it clear that she has feelings for me but I'm still afraid to do anything about it.
My brother's face crosses my mind. She may not like him like that but I'm not sure how or what his feelings for her are. Unfortunately, our situation is a little complicated. Does it make any difference if Beomgyu has feelings for her? Would I really let Yeji go just so I don't ruin my relationship with my brother?
If this were a couple of months ago then I can go for it but as time went by, I saw how close Beomgyu got with Yeji.
I close my eyes and exhale loudly.
"Say something, Ryujin" Yeji says weakly.
"If you have nothing to say then leave me alone" she takes her hand away from mine.
She starts walking away and all I can feel is pain in my heart. Shouldn't I be happy that she likes me?
Before she gets any farther, I stop overthinking. I let go of everything from my mind and my feet starts moving.
I grab Yeji's arm and I spin her around to face me. Without a single word, I cup her cheeks and I press my lips against hers.
It feels like time is standing still. She hesitates but not long after she kisses me back.
"Do you wanna know why it didn't work out with Karina?" I ask after we pull away from each other.
I take both of her hands and I look down at them. I take a deep breath.
"Because I already had feelings for you before I even realized it. I've loved you for a while now but I didn't think you would ever reciprocate my feelings" I continue.
"Why didn't you say anything when I was crying my eyes out?" She asks.
"Because of Beomgyu. You may not have feelings for him but I don't know if he has with you. He's still my brother and I didn't want to betray him by going after you. I failed at doing that" I half-heartedly smile.
"I don't want to be the reason why you and your brother stop talking" I can hear the sadness in her voice.
I raise my head to finally look at her.
"I also can't stop how I feel about you. I love you" I confess.
She smiles, "I love you too."
She let go of my hand and engulfs me into a hug.
"I'm sorry for crying so much. I was acting like a jealous girlfriend but I couldn't control my emotions. I blame it on the pregnancy" she chuckles, making me melt inside. How can a simple chuckle provide so much joy within me?
"I can't believe our first kiss is when I'm all snotty" she playfully pushes me away.
"You couldn't have waited until I wasn't a snotty mess from the crying?" She cutely crosses her arms.
"What was I supposed to do? You were leaving and crying? I had to do something" I argue.
She smiles and she hugs me.
"At least your first kiss wasn't a snotty one" I tease and she pushes me away.
With a shock expression, "That was your first kiss? Ever?"
I nod, "Been hiding the fact that I'm gay. Never been into a relationship so how would I have my first kiss?"
"You don't need to be in a relationship to kiss someone" she looks down and points at her belly.
"I never really went out. The only time I do is when I got involved in my brother's sneak aways when he attends parties. Even then I just stay by myself" I shrug my shoulders.
"I'm happy to be your first but I'm sad that there were some tears involved" she pouts.
I move closer to her and I wipe away the remaining of her tears on her face.
"You're not crying anymore" I go in for another kiss.
This time there was no hesitation. She kisses me back right away. My hand stays on her cheeks as she places her hands on my waist.
After pulling away, I see big smile on her face and I can't help but blush. I don't know where this sudden confidence comes from.
"I love you" she states.
I smile back, "I love you more."
---
We're walking back to Lia's dorm while we hold hands. We had a small chat after our kiss and we decided that we wanted to be a couple. She's my first girlfriend and everything about tonight feels like a dream. I never thought the first girl I fell in love would love me too.
Before entering the building, I stop walking and Yeji gives me a confused look.
"Is it okay if we keep what happened between us a secret for now?" I ask.
"Why?" She frowns.
"I want to figure out what Beomgyu feels towards you and I need to figure out how to break it to him if he does feel something" I sigh.
"And technically, I'm not allowed to date yet. If my mom finds out then she'll go crazy. She's made it known that dating can wait until after graduating college. She'll think this relationship will be distraction" I add.
She doesn't look happy but she nods her head, "I guess I understand."
I take her other hand and face her, "It's gonna be okay. It's not gonna be forever. We'll tell everyone about us, okay?"
"It's not that. I'm just scared" she looks down.
"Why?" I question.
"Usually, when people have to hide their relationship because of other people, it doesn't end well. It means that we weren't meant to be together in the first place, that's why we're hiding it. There will be other factors that will keep us apart. What if it's your mom or Beomgyu? What if they don't support us? What are you gonna do?"
"I don't want to be the reason your relationship with your family gets destroyed but I also don't want to let you go, am I being selfish?" She asks.
"You're not" I smile and I pull her into my arms.
"I won't be giving you up that easily, Yeji. You know what's stronger than being in love?" I ask and I feel her shake her head.
"It's being in love for the first time" I chuckle.
She pushes me away and she gives me a questioning look.
"I'm ready to be reckless and give you my all. I'm ready to fight for this like it's my last because I want you to be my last" I kiss her cheek.
"I don't know whether to cringe or blush" she teases and I pout.
"You're adorable" she pinches my cheek.
"Stop" I whine and she just laughs.
"We should probably go in though. It's starting to feel cold out here" she states and I just nod then we go inside.
"What the hell were you thinking running out like that?" Lia is scolding Yeji. When we first entered the room, Lia checked on her first to see if she got hurt then after that, it was just nagging her about her safety.
"Don't act like you care so much. If you did then you would have gone out there and checked on me" Yeji doesn't take Lia seriously.
"Well" Lia pauses, "Ryujin went after you so I thought you would be okay."
"But that's not the point. What happened? Why did you suddenly start crying?" All eyes are on Yeji now but she looks to me for help.
"Hormones" I say quickly.
"You know with the pregnancy and all" I add.
"Right, I thought of something and it made me cry" Yeji joins.
Everyone believes it except for Lia but she doesn't say anything else which I'm grateful for.
Lia continues to scold Yeji then Yuna sits next to me on the bed.
"I'm really sorry about letting everyone know about your date with Karina" she apologizes.
"It's okay. It's nice that other people know that I'm not a complete loser who doesn't go on dates" I try to cheer her up by making a joke of it.
She hugs me and I hug her back.
"Karina is really pretty though. You should think about giving it another chance. She seems to still have a crush on you" she let go and I see a giant smile on her face.
"I'm just not ready" I make up an excuse.
"Oh come on. If Beomgyu can have a beautiful girl like Yeji then you can too" she thinks she's helping me to get a girlfriend but she's really not.
"You think Yeji and Beomgyu are together? Did they say that?" I ask because I'm curious why she would say that when she knows that Yeji wasn't interested in him.
"They don't have to. You can tell by how they act together" she answers.
"I see" is all I can say as I stare at Yeji.
Will this relationship work?