Two weeks.
Two weeks had passed since I had left the apartment. We hadn't talked once after that. Not a single phone call or a text message. Only a few texts from the members asking how I was doing. I sat on my bedroom floor with my phone in my hand watching the blank screen waiting for something, a call, a text at least, but it didn't come. I was having a breakdown.
Frustrated, I yeeted my phone on the bed across the room, in result the phone bounced off the bed and fell down with a small thud. Tears continued to flow down my face as if gates of a dam had been opened. I held my head in my hands and cried my eyes out until I was out of breath.
Me, Choi Hana, who barely cried in any situation; me who didn't cry on the funeral of my own father, me who could only be calmed down by Dokyeom's silly tricks so I could regain my breath and breathe properly was balling my eyes out like a teenager loosing their first love.
A knock on the door got me out of my crying trance and had me wiping my tears hastily.
"Imo! Mumma is calling you for dinner!" YuJin hollered from outside the door and I took in a few deep breaths to get my breathing to normal.
"YuJin-ie, please tell your mum that I'm not hungry." I replied with a breaking voice from behind the door as I wiped my face.
"She knew you would say this, so she said that she'll call the firefighters to evacuate you outside of the room if you don't come out now" YuJin replied, hollering in the same tune as she had called out for me before finding nothing wrong with her mother's plan of action.
"Tell her-" I started when I heard a loud smack on the door.
"Hya! Get out of that room already!" JiAh shouted, done with my daily breakdown.
"Hya, call the hottest set of those firefighters to evacuate me then!" I shouted back finding no humour in my own words. I took in a deep breath and opened the door but immediately ducked down seeing my sister.
"What are you doing!" I shouted at JiAh as she held her slipper in her hand ready to launch at the door.
JiAh raised an eyebrow at my sudden appearance. "I thought I had to settle for the classic way" she spoke, her slipper still in hand.
"Please don't," I replied, and walked out of the room towards her and saw YuJin make her way to the dining table. "But seriously, JiAh, firefighters? please. How did you even come up with that?"
She rolled her eyes but chuckled. "I have good depression humour, its kind of a 'been through done that' stage for me now. A hot firefighter could solve most of your problems right now." she spoke and I shook my head.
"No, thank you. My problems are entertaining enough right now, I need to sort them out."
"Sure. Dinner's getting cold, and you need to eat. Sit '' she ordered pulling out a chair.
I nodded, following her to the dining table where the family had gathered. The atmosphere was a mix of concern and an attempt to bring back a semblance of normalcy. The dishes looked delicious, but my appetite seemed to have taken a leave of absence.
"Imo, even I am eating more than you" YuJin commented somewhere between the meal and I gave her a small smile and ate what little food went down my throat.
JiAh tried to bring up the topic a few times for the past few days but didn't push much. Finally she brought up a new topic reminding me of an event I had to attend. Surprisingly the host hadn't thrown me out of the invite list even in all this chaos.
"You'll attend right?" JiAh asked and I nodded, willfully.
After dressing up well and going to the beauty shop to get my hair and makeup properly done, I went to the party.
People in the industry were absolutely ludicrous. While some of the artists that I had worked along with, side-eyed me as if I was an invisible ghost enjoying the party, the other half didn't seem to care enough to even ask me about it. To some extent I was surprised that some people talked about my actual work rather than just the scandal.
As I stood in front of the stage with my champagne glass; watching the artist that was performing; a hand tapped my shoulder making me turn around. Aria Min stood there with a wide smile.
"Choi Hana, hello darling" she hugged me and I greeted her back. After trying to convince me that she wanted me to write her couture this season she finally decided to introduce me to someone.
"He's a kpop idol, I think you should work with him next" she said as she pulled my arm through the crowd. Dokyeom's face flashed in my mind as soon as she said she was introducing me to a kpop idol. I pulled my hand back, releasing it from her hold.
"Aria, do I really have to meet this guy? I'm sure we'll work together when the time is right." I tried to get my way out. Even if it wasn't Dokyeom, any kpop idol in the industry would know about my scandal and I would rather avoid questions and overflowing sympathy.
"That right time is now, come." She flashed a huge smile and guided me through the crowd again and stood me in front of a man who was too familiar to me.
"Hana, meet him. This is Choi Seungchoel, leader of Seventeen." I stood face to face with Scoups, both of us having the same amount of surprise on our faces.
Was she doing this on purpose? What kind of a grown adult with a fully matured prefrontal cortex does this kind of act?
"Scoups-ya, this is Choi Hana, works for Marie Clare, she's an editor." Aria introduced me to Scoups and it reminded me of how Mingyu had introduced me to him a long while back.
"Oh! Hello , it's so nice to meet you. I'm Choi Hana" I went along with whatever Aria was doing and put my hand out for a handshake.
Seeing me play dumb, I noticed Scoups snicker under his breath and he played along as well.
"Nice to meet you, Hana-ssi. I've read a few of your articles." he replied and I smiled.
Even though I was seeing him after about 10 days, it felt like months had passed in between. Unbeknownst to us, Arin Min had gotten called by someone and excused herself from our conversation and had disappeared in the crowd somewhere.
"That was fun" Scoups commented and clinked his glass to mine making me chuckle.
"I don't know if she did that on purpose or if she was genuinely clueless." I said and we both drank the champagne from our flutes.
"I didn't know you'd be here." Scoups spoke, and I nodded.
"We talked about this on the group chat weeks back, Coups. When things were normal." I said in an obvious tone.
"We did? I don't remember." he spoke confused and I gave him a look.
"We did, you even said it would be nice to go somewhere without a member to such events for once." I reminded him and narrowed my eyebrows in surprise at his forgetful quality. Scoups handed me his glass to hold as he pulled out his phone and opened the group chat.
"Where is it? Why can't I find it?" he said, scrolling hurriedly through the chats.
"Just search it" I suggested and he nodded.
"Hya anindee~" he whined and I scoffed "There is no such chat," he said, going through the chats like an old man without specs.
"Why are you scolding me, we're at an event!" I whispered at him in a bickering tone. No wonder the members and NaEun called us siblings. "There it is! It's literally in front of your eyes" I said pointing at the screen and his shoulders slumped.
"Right, there it is. Why couldn't I find it?" he questioned himself and I chuckled before answering.
"Scrolling at that speed, you'd never find a single text" I teased and he took his champagne back.
"How are you?" Scoups asked, keeping all the fun and bickering aside, with all seriousness.
"Don't ask. I never thought it would get this bad," I replied, managing a small smile. Scoups nodded in understanding. While I always assumed idols were accustomed to scrutiny, witnessing Dokyeom's struggle made me realise that no one was truly prepared for this level of intrusion.
"How is he? Has anyone checked up on him?" I asked about Dokyeom and Scoups simply nodded lightly.
"Dino and Hoshi went to his place three days back, now I think Jeonghan is going to go today." Scoups informed me and I nodded processing it all.
"Wow, that must have been one hell of a drinking party, with all three of them together." I said and Scoups chuckled along with me.
"Hana, you both should sort it out. He's a mess, the worst I've seen of him in all these years. You've lost all that happy glow from your face too." He stated simply and once again, at a loss of words I nodded. I had nothing to explain to him, nothing to express either.
"Hear me out" Scoups started and I listened, "We have a Going Seventeen shoot in the next 3 days. Join us. NaEun is coming too, we can go together if you don't want to travel with Dokyeom just yet." he suggested. A hint of happiness flickered within me, but I shook my head.
"It'll ruin your shoot and your trip altogether. Dokyeom and I have a few unresolved conversations that need to be done privately." I answered and Scoups nodded in understanding.
"You will have all the privacy you want, we're staying in a big house. There is plenty of space. I'll tell the others and not Dokyeom if you want. We'll make sure staff doesn't disturb you both either." he added.
"You know, we haven't broken up. We're just.. on a break" I sighed and he gave me a small smile.
"Yeah don't tell him" I murmured and Scoups chuckled and then nodded.
Thank you for reading.