I've never heard T sound this angry before. I've been on the wrong side of her competitiveness when we go against each other in training and I've seen her anger when a ref makes a bad call in a game, but to this level, I've never experienced it.
"T what's going on? Are you okay?" I ask. Cam looks at me with concern in her eyes.
"Bells, where are you? Are you still with Jess? Are you in your room? When do you have training?" T doesn't answer my question.
"No, I'm out- I went for a walk. T, you're scaring me. What's happening?"
"Are you by yourself?"
"I'm with Cam-"
"Okay, you're going back to your hotel room with Cam. You're not going to talk to anyone but me, Jess and Cam. I'm going to fucking kill-" T interrupts me.
"What the fuck do you mean by kill?" I ask and Cam whips her head toward me. "Wait, T, I'm putting you on speaker, maybe Cam can help me decipher what you're trying to say. What the fuck is happening?" I pull the phone from my ear and put it on speaker so Cam can hear.
"Bells, please just listen to me. You don't have enough time- I could only guess how many reporters are going to be on the way to your hotel right now. Cam, you're going to take her back to her room immediately and you're going to take away her phone. You'll do this if you still care about her." T says.
"T, I'm not a fucking child, tell me what the fuck is going on," I ask, while Cam gets a call. She picks it up while I take my call with T off of speaker phone, still trying to figure out what's going on.
"What?" I hear Cam yell into her phone before promptly ending the phone call. I give her a confused look. She turns towards me, then grabs my wrist. "Trace, if you can hear me, I have it covered. I know. I got it." Cam takes my phone out of my hand and ends the call before dragging me away by the wrist. We only get so far before I get sick of it. I break away from Cam's grasp and make her face me.
"Cam. What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On."
"Bee, this isn't the time or place. I'll explain when we're inside. Trace's right, we have to hurry." She insists and reaches for my arm again, but I pull away before she can grab it.
"No. Now." I insist. Cam looks like she's stuck between two worlds on whether she should tell me or not, but I know that she knows that I'm not budging until I get a clear answer.
"Look- there was an article released and right now, we just need to get you safe in your room."
"What was the article about?"
"It-" Cam stutters to find her words.
"Say it."
"It was about your parents." Cam finally says and the whole world around me disappears. Cam's mouth is moving, but I can't hear any words she's saying. She takes this opportunity to grab my wrist and drag me back into my hotel room.
Inside my hotel room, Jess is on a call, yelling at someone, but I can't comprehend anything. Cam helps and leads me to sit on my bed. She then rushes to get me some water. Jess is still yelling and after giving me a water bottle Cam also goes on some calls yelling.
The bed I'm sitting on doesn't feel real. I can't feel the sheets underneath my hands. I don't even think I can feel my hands. I look up to see Jess and Cam walking in circles in the small hotel room, still talking vigorously over the phone.
"Stop." I finally say. I don't even feel the words come out of my mouth. Both of them stop their pacing to look at me. They both promise whoever they were calling that they'd call them back before putting all their attention on me. "What did it say? The article I mean."
Cam and Jess both look at me like they're parents communicating through some secret nonverbal language on how they want to break the bad news to me.
"Everything." Cam finally says.
"Define everything."
"Your childhood, the case, the verdict- all of it," Jess says this time.
"Who released this?"
"Some website released it before the World Cup and it was taken down last week, but the news reporters seemed to have picked up on some black market screenshots type shit now," Jess answers.
"Do they not have a WHOLE FUCKING WORLD CUP TO REPORT ON? Are we not in one of the most exciting World Cups? Are there not 32 fucking teams with 23 players each? Is there not new upcoming talent that they could be reporting on instead? Is there not these amazing goals players are scoring that they could write on?" I explode and Cam and Jess stay silent. I take a breath. "Is this what T was calling me about then?"
"Yeah," Cam answers this time.
"I'll text her telling her you made it back," Jess adds.
"Don't," I say. "She has a game to worry about, not me."
"At least a text, Bee." Cam starts. "I don't think she'd be able to play well knowing you weren't okay." Cam continues. I nod because she's probably right and Jess texts her saying that I made it back to the hotel and that we're all trying to figure this out.
"I'm assuming T found out about all this first then. How?" I ask.
"She called me first then she called you to warn me in a way. She was flustered- talking fast. I didn't even have a chance to respond before she hung up telling me she was going to call you." Jess says, "But she told me she was asked about it during her pre-game conference."
"They asked T?" I glare at Jess.
"They assumed because you and T are so close she'd be able to verify if the article was true or not." Jess says. "She lost it in there. Started yelling at everyone."
"That's not like her. That girl was PR trained since she could speak." I shake my head.
"She cares about you. A lot. She'd do anything to protect you." Cam says in an almost whisper. "We all would've done the same I think."
"How are we fighting this?" I ask next.
"I called our media team to see what we can do. Right now, they said we wait for this to die out." Jess explains through gritted teeth. I know she wants to do more, but I understand the PR part of it. I understand that we all have a World Cup to focus on right now and we can't add fuel to the flame.
"I called The Times and told them to take their article down since they were the first one to find the sources, but they wouldn't because it's the most clicks they've ever gotten." Cam has her right fist tightened up.
"So what can I do? Or what do you think I should do?" I ask. Jess looks down in thought.
"It's your story," Cam starts. "You should be the one to share it. Fuck everyone else. You should be the one who chooses how to share or what parts to share. It's fucked up that the news already has parts of it, but in the end, it's your life- your story. People can only speculate unless you put the truth out there."
Cam stops talking as my phone rings. The ringtone of my phone fills the silent room. Jess checks the caller ID for me.
"It's coach." she says before handing me the phone. "No one is expecting you to pick up." I answer the call anyway.
"Bella, first and foremost, are you okay?" Tyler asks immediately.
"Yes. I'm fine. I have Jess and Cam with me."
"Bella, this is honestly tough for me to say, but I wanted to tell you immediately so you're not left in the dust. I'm going to ask that you sit out this practice and the next game."
"You can't do that," I argue.
"I don't want to but I think it's for the best. A lot happened today-"
"It happened to me though. It didn't happen to you. I should get the choice if I want to participate in training or play in the game or not."
"Bella, I don't want to over-"
"You know that I respect you, Tyler. But it's not your fucking choice. If I'm shit in training today and you want to bench me, fine, but truly ask yourself if it's because of my performance or my circumstance."
"Bells, you know I see the team like family. You know that I see you like my family. I don't want to put you in danger."
"Just say you're afraid of me outraging and punching someone else," I yell and Jess sits down next to me to grab my hand and calm me down. I shouldn't be yelling at him because he's right. He's always been there for me since he called me up two years ago. I know he sees me like I'm one of his daughters. I know he's only trying to keep me safe.
"No- Bella, I know that you're not the same person you were a year ago. I know how much Chelsea has changed you. I saw it in your first FA Cup game. I'm worried about what trying to ignore this situation will do to you. It's not good to keep it inside. I'm asking you to take time off and just process it."
"I'm okay. I know what I'm going to do." I promise. He sounds reluctant, but he agrees to let me come for a reduced type of training for me.
-----------------------
"Bella Evans has now released a statement on her Instagram. She confirms the events of the article that was spread about her life saying:
By now, most of you will have seen that article or the news reporting around the article. My first reaction to it was why are the news stations not reporting on the World Cup happening now, but on one player's private, personal life? But I decided to release a statement that shares my truth. I was born to Joel and Megan Evans. Yes, my father did- to put it in PG terms- hurt my mom. Yes, I was a witness to it. Yes, that is why I've grown up and lived with my US teammate, Cameron Case for a big portion of my life. Yes, this is why I don't go by and hate the name Isabella because it's a constant reminder that my father named me that. I wanted to debunk any rumors with this statement and tell people to focus on the game. Why are we introspecting into everyone's personal life and not their skill? I'd rather be known for how I played during this World Cup than to be the player whose father is in jail. The article was true in all its facts- I have no idea who released it. I just hope that we'll try to do better and stop trying to publicize private matters.
I'm also calling out every news outlet and reporter who decided to post my story- without my permission at that. I'm also calling out the reporter who asked TT if she could confirm my story or not. It is not your story to tell or report on. Before today, it wasn't even anyone's story to know, but mine. You made a 19-year-old girl relive the greatest trauma of her life during one of the most important and FIRST tournaments of her career so you could get a couple clicks and make a couple bucks. Congrats. Do you feel accomplished now?
And for those who care, I was shocked at first and I'm in the process of being better now. This is a barrier I've been trying to cross since I was four. I've been keeping it inside since I was four- only select people in my life know about it. And it's weird having your biggest kept secret everywhere in public eye all of a sudden, but I really just want to focus on lifting the World Cup trophy right now. I also don't want to be regarded differently. I've already made my peace with what happened years ago. I don't want anything to change in how the world views me. I'm still the same player that I was before this article was released. I hope you all can see that.
I will also be deleting all social media for the rest of the tournament to not distract myself and separate myself from all of this- my prime focus is to win the World Cup, a dream I've always had. To all the US fans that have come out, thank you. I hear you and I'm immediately energized on the pitch by it. Please continue to support us and cheer for us out there and I'll do my best to bring it home for us. And to the fans at home, I know you're watching- I know you're waking up at early times to watch our games and I thank every single one of you.
I'll see y'all at the Emirates tomorrow for the final group game.
-Bella
In her caption on Instagram, she confirms the events of the article, but also calls out everyone for focusing on her personal life rather than the World Cup. She also confirms that she is okay after the events of today and wants to continue focusing on winning the World Cup."
I delete Instagram and look up.
"I'm proud of you, Bells." Jess says and Cam nods.
"Yeah, we have to get ready for training." I change the subject. "Um, Cam, your parents should probably stay inside tonight cause they're involved in this mess too, um we can do dinner tomorrow after the game."
"Yeah, of course, anything is going to be okay with them." Cam nods before getting up first to leave so she could go to her room. "I'll see you guys in training."
"You're actually good?" Jess asks to make sure as soon as Cam leaves our room. I shrug.
"I'm also going to head out early too. I'm gonna see if I can practice for a bit before training starts." I grab all my things.
"Let me come with-"
"No." I cut Jess off. "I want to be by myself right now. I'm okay, promise." I leave the room before Jess has the chance to say another word.
I lean my head against the hotel door. Everything's been a lot lately- I've barely even had time to process joining Chelsea and this and the World Cup on top of it is a lot. I don't regret confirming everything that happened on Instagram, but it's the principle of it all, and that I had to confirm it. My phone rings again. I don't want to answer it, but I look at the caller ID and see that it's Abi.
"Hey," I answer softly as I head to the lobby of our hotel.
"I'm so sorry I was caught up in the media side of things- my phone was silenced and in my pocket. I didn't know what was happening, T found me when she arrived at the stadium."
"Abs, I'm okay. I was about to head to training."
"Is that a good idea?" she sounds concerned for me.
"Abi, I would only ever tell you this because I know you get it. You're the only one who'll understand." I take a deep breath. "I can't be left alone right now. I don't know what I'll do if I don't have people around me or something to simply take my mind off of things. Football is that outlet right now- it has been for 15 years. I know everyone is concerned, but if I was left to my own thoughts it'd be more concerning."
"I'm just scared you're going to explode one day. You're nineteen, kiddo. You should be a child- act like a child, and do normal teenager things. You shouldn't have to worry about all of this at your age."
"I've been grown up since I was four, Abs."
"Yeah, I know." she's the only person who would listen to what I have to say and truly just listen and not try to push her opinions on me. She knows that I have to do this for me. It's why she got her super busy punditry job when she should've been in her apartment resting. She can't sit still like me because then the voices and all the thoughts would take over. For her, I know that she'd beat herself up for tearing her ACL when she had no play in it. She'd beat herself up until she convinced herself that if she didn't tear her ACL, we could've won the UWCL, even though none of it was her fault. She'd live the rest of her life guilting herself over it every single day. We both have to be active and do something so that we can keep our minds off everything else in our lives. For both of us, our escape has always been football, and why we spend so much of our time absorbed by it. It's our only coping mechanism to move on. "I'm just worried about you."
"I get it, but I'm fine."
"How many times are you going to tell that to everyone else before you start believing it?"
"I don't know," I answer honestly. I get on the bus that will take us to the training pitches. There's already some staff on here who need to get there early to set up the equipment. "I have to go now, but if you see T again, tell her that I am good, and tell her good luck on her game."
"I love you, Bells. Always." Abs says.
"I love you too. Thank you for everything." I smile before ending the call.